A/N Just a quick little scene because I was wired on caffeine and I have
the false notion that I am funny. Poor Otacon is really getting burned,
isn't he? I gotta stop that, he's my favorite character. Why does Raiden
always seem to avoid much ridicule? Oh, well, chalk it up to me loving to
make fun of what I love. Anyway, the minute I own the rights to these
characters, I will let you know. I also can't claim to be the author of
those phrases on the T-shirts. I'll continue my illegal activities because
Konami wouldn't waste their time suing some deluded teen from Wisconsin
anyway… Right?
Chapter 5
Snake homed in on the Hot Topic. He was about to enter when he heard his name being hissed.
"Psst! Snake!"
Snake looked around in confusion.
"Over here!"
He turned around. Otacon was hiding behind a large, fake potted plant next to one of those cheap mall benches. He peered at Snake through the leafy plastic branches.
"Raiden's been in there for almost ten minutes. I think he bought himself some of those Spice Girl shoes that are like 2 feet tall."
"Oh, Lord," Snake groaned. He looked back at the store. "What are you doing out here?"
"Reconnaissance. Sort of."
"Sort of?"
"Mostly, I'm just hiding from that group of girls," He said, gesturing with a tilt of his head at a group of teenagers standing in front of Electronics Boutique.
"They're Metal Gear addicts. To them, we're gods," Otacon explained. "They jumped me. I had to hide in the Men's Room for twenty minutes."
"You know, being a god in someone's eyes can get you… favors." Snake took a step toward the group of young things.
"Sexual favors from a 16 year old? You're disgusting. Let's go rescue Raiden before he gets piercing in places unmentionable in a PG-13 story." Otacon sprang from behind the fake tree and raced into Hot Topic, catching Snake's arm and dragging him in behind him.
Inside, he skidded to a stop. Surrounding him were teenagers that looked a lot scarier than those girls who were following him earlier. Leather, chains, hair dye, the whole nine yards.
"Otacon, don't go into culture shock," Snake said. He gave Otacon a shove. "I think I see Raiden's big dumb head behind that T-shirt rack."
Otacon was shaking. He gave a panicked whimper as Snake walked away, and rushed after him. He hung at Snake's heels as Snake threaded his way through the alternative-dressing guys and girls and over to the T-shirts.
"Protect me," Otacon begged, as Snake came up next to Raiden.
Raiden smiled at him. "Here, Otacon. I found the perfect shirt for you." He unfolded it and held it up for Otacon to see. "If I throw a stick, will you go away?"
"That one's mine!" Snake said, grabbing it before Raiden could hurl it at Otacon.
Otacon forgot his surroundings as anger got the best of him. He grabbed one from the rack and unfolded it, showing Raiden.
"This one's for you." It was black, and said "Let's get one thing straight." And below that, in rainbow letters, it said "I'm not."
"There you go, Raiden!" Snake exclaimed. He wasn't occupied for the moment, so he got to provide the commentary.
Otacon balled up the T-shirt and shoved it back onto the rack. "Action figures, remember?"
"In a minute," Snake said. He had caught sight of a T-shirt he absolutely HAD to have. He started laughing out loud as he read it. It was camouflage, and in bright white said, "Ha! Now you can't see me!"
"This is just excellent!" Snake was still laughing.
Otacon gave him one of those looks he usually reserved for Raiden.
"They got action figures on the back wall," Raiden said as he continued browsing. "Go check it out."
Otacon looked toward the back of the store. It seemed so very far away. And the Goths and punk rockers, and other alternative dressers stood between him and it.
"Alone?" He asked, shaking violently.
"You're a big boy now," Snake said. "Time to face up to your geekiness."
"Geekiness? What geekiness?" He pushed his glasses back into place.
"Just remember. These people are geeks in their own way. You're all ostracized by society," Raiden said helpfully.
"Exactly," Snake chipped in. "You have more in common with the people in this store than you do with me and Raiden. Or anyone else in the entire universe."
"I'm not a geek!" Otacon fumed.
Snake gave him a nice smile.
Otacon hung his head. "Fine. I'll go alone. But next chapter, we rip on Raiden. I'm sick of all the abuse you're heaping on me."
"Good man," Snake said, patting his shoulder. He wandered toward the comic section. "Ooh, Johnny The Homicidal Maniac!"
Otacon took a deep breath, held his head high, and moved toward the back wall of Hot Topic.
Chapter 5
Snake homed in on the Hot Topic. He was about to enter when he heard his name being hissed.
"Psst! Snake!"
Snake looked around in confusion.
"Over here!"
He turned around. Otacon was hiding behind a large, fake potted plant next to one of those cheap mall benches. He peered at Snake through the leafy plastic branches.
"Raiden's been in there for almost ten minutes. I think he bought himself some of those Spice Girl shoes that are like 2 feet tall."
"Oh, Lord," Snake groaned. He looked back at the store. "What are you doing out here?"
"Reconnaissance. Sort of."
"Sort of?"
"Mostly, I'm just hiding from that group of girls," He said, gesturing with a tilt of his head at a group of teenagers standing in front of Electronics Boutique.
"They're Metal Gear addicts. To them, we're gods," Otacon explained. "They jumped me. I had to hide in the Men's Room for twenty minutes."
"You know, being a god in someone's eyes can get you… favors." Snake took a step toward the group of young things.
"Sexual favors from a 16 year old? You're disgusting. Let's go rescue Raiden before he gets piercing in places unmentionable in a PG-13 story." Otacon sprang from behind the fake tree and raced into Hot Topic, catching Snake's arm and dragging him in behind him.
Inside, he skidded to a stop. Surrounding him were teenagers that looked a lot scarier than those girls who were following him earlier. Leather, chains, hair dye, the whole nine yards.
"Otacon, don't go into culture shock," Snake said. He gave Otacon a shove. "I think I see Raiden's big dumb head behind that T-shirt rack."
Otacon was shaking. He gave a panicked whimper as Snake walked away, and rushed after him. He hung at Snake's heels as Snake threaded his way through the alternative-dressing guys and girls and over to the T-shirts.
"Protect me," Otacon begged, as Snake came up next to Raiden.
Raiden smiled at him. "Here, Otacon. I found the perfect shirt for you." He unfolded it and held it up for Otacon to see. "If I throw a stick, will you go away?"
"That one's mine!" Snake said, grabbing it before Raiden could hurl it at Otacon.
Otacon forgot his surroundings as anger got the best of him. He grabbed one from the rack and unfolded it, showing Raiden.
"This one's for you." It was black, and said "Let's get one thing straight." And below that, in rainbow letters, it said "I'm not."
"There you go, Raiden!" Snake exclaimed. He wasn't occupied for the moment, so he got to provide the commentary.
Otacon balled up the T-shirt and shoved it back onto the rack. "Action figures, remember?"
"In a minute," Snake said. He had caught sight of a T-shirt he absolutely HAD to have. He started laughing out loud as he read it. It was camouflage, and in bright white said, "Ha! Now you can't see me!"
"This is just excellent!" Snake was still laughing.
Otacon gave him one of those looks he usually reserved for Raiden.
"They got action figures on the back wall," Raiden said as he continued browsing. "Go check it out."
Otacon looked toward the back of the store. It seemed so very far away. And the Goths and punk rockers, and other alternative dressers stood between him and it.
"Alone?" He asked, shaking violently.
"You're a big boy now," Snake said. "Time to face up to your geekiness."
"Geekiness? What geekiness?" He pushed his glasses back into place.
"Just remember. These people are geeks in their own way. You're all ostracized by society," Raiden said helpfully.
"Exactly," Snake chipped in. "You have more in common with the people in this store than you do with me and Raiden. Or anyone else in the entire universe."
"I'm not a geek!" Otacon fumed.
Snake gave him a nice smile.
Otacon hung his head. "Fine. I'll go alone. But next chapter, we rip on Raiden. I'm sick of all the abuse you're heaping on me."
"Good man," Snake said, patting his shoulder. He wandered toward the comic section. "Ooh, Johnny The Homicidal Maniac!"
Otacon took a deep breath, held his head high, and moved toward the back wall of Hot Topic.