Chapter Four- Letters and Curses

1971

Severus and Lily rarely went anywhere other than their hideout by the river, but on rainy days, when Bryony forbade Lily to go outside, Severus would visit.

Severus didn't like Lily's house very much, not that he would ever tell Lily. There was nothing technically wrong with Lily's house. In fact, it was eerily close to perfect. It was sunny, bright, and spacious, with a kind father and warm mother. But that was precisely what was wrong with it. Severus felt awkward, as if he didn't belong there, and it didn't help that Petunia was always there to remind him when he nearly forgot.

Surveying the bedroom that Lily and Petunia shared should have worsened his state of discomfort. Instead, it soothed him. While everything appeared to be pristine and girlish at first glance, an invisible line seemed to divide the room evenly in half, one half decidedly Lily.

Both sides may have had walls that were freshly painted a soft rose color and twin beds with matching floral bedspreads, but a stark contrast remained. One side was cold and the other was not. Petunia's half was an icy perfection, her blankets pulled tightly around the bed so that there was not a wrinkle in sight. Other than a few dull books that lined a shelf, her part seemed devoid of anything personal. Lily, on the other hand, had made it clear which side was hers. A few stuffed animals were affectionately arranged on her lumpy bed while bottles of prettily colored potions dotted her shelf, even more spectacular when the sun would shine through. Photographs of the Evans family on holiday, childish drawings, and a makeshift count down calendar to Hogwarts were plastered neatly over the pale pink walls.

Severus briefly touched a picture that Lily had made, smiling to himself. It was a clumsy sketch of two figures by what he supposed was a river. While there was hardly any difference between two, one clearly had black hair and the other red. He could only assume it was them.

"What book did you find?" Lily's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and Severus quickly withdrew his hand, his eyes darting toward her. She was plainly impatient.

To Severus's relief, Petunia had been conspicuously absent that day. Lily had informed him that she was off impressing a new boy named Vernon Dursley, so there was no need for hushed voices. Severus removed the worn copy of Curses for the Cursed from his coat pocket. It was the lightest of the three. He felt guilty about waiting to show her the Dark Arts books, but he hadn't wanted to frighten her. In the end, excitement won over uncertainty. After all, he had promised to teach her everything. He would just have to make her understand.

"What is that?" Lily's voice sounded strange.

"Curses," Severus replied, unable to keep the enthusiasm from trickling into his voice. He began rapidly flipping through the pages. "Look! This one makes your enemy's legs wobble until they can't even walk."

"Sev, I thought you said there was no dark magic."

"Well, there can be bad wizards. Just like there can be bad Muggles too. It's not the magic. It's the person." Severus explained, quickly skipping a page with a particularly grisly sketch of a rotting corpse.

Lily was quiet. Only the sound of pages turning could be heard. "If it depends on the person, then why do you have it? You're not a bad wizard."

"To protect myself," Severus said. "And you." He blushed at how it sounded and continued on rapidly. "You've seen my dad, Lily. You've seen what he can do. If I learn these, I'll never have to worry about him again."

Lily frowned and Severus could see the uncertainty dance across her pretty features. "I don't like it, Sev."

"I've only read a few harmless ones," Severus added at once. He could see that he was frightening Lily, and the last thing he wanted was another fight. "Just to be safe."

Lily was silent again and Severus's heart pounded. Finally, Lily offered a small, timid smile and Severus wondered if she had the same fear he did. "A few harmless ones," she repeated, pushing the book back with a shudder. "Just don't show me. I like charms better."

As disappointed as he was with her reaction, Severus felt a rush of relief and gratitude that she had not run away like she had during the tree branch incident. "Should we practice charms then?"

Lily brightened and bounced up. "I wrote a few incantations down. We can go over those."

As she rummaged through the desk that she and Petunia took turns using, Severus's dark eyes swept the surface of the somewhat cluttered desk with mild curiosity. He liked looking at Lily's possessions, guessing which ones were most prized. He caught a familiar shimmer of emerald ink sandwiched between a neat stack of Muggle textbooks. "What's that?"

Lily followed his gaze and reached for the piece of parchment. Her almond shaped eyes became saucer-like as they darted back and forth across the page. "Tuney wrote to Hogwarts?"

Severus peeked over her shoulder, torn between shock and merriment. "Dear Miss Evans, you can't imagine my surprise and delight to see that you wrote. In regard to your request, I regret to inform you that Hogwarts only accepts those with magic. I'm afraid those without would find our school difficult and most likely not enjoy…" Severus read aloud. He bit back a laugh, knowing it would upset Lily. "I can't believe a Muggle was able to contact Hogwarts. There must be wizards working at the postal service."

"I can't believe she wants to go to Hogwarts." Lily sounded hurt. "She never told me. I thought she hated magic."

"So did I," Severus shrugged, still privately amused. He couldn't help but feel smug. Petunia must have been going mad with envy the entire time, eavesdropping desperately on conversations with any hints of magic. "I reckon she was just jealous."

He regretted the words instantly, seeing Lily's anxious expression. She hated to leave anyone out, and he did not want her insisting that Petunia join them. There may have only been a week of summer left, but Severus didn't want to share Lily with anyone, particularly that Muggle.

"Maybe I should talk to her."

Severus shook his head immediately. "You don't want to make her feel worse about it. She obviously feels embarrassed."

"You're right," Lily frowned, still unhappy.

Severus hated to see Lily upset, especially over someone as horrible as Petunia. She needed a distraction. "Let's work on charms."

Like magic, Lily brightened and Severus was satisfied. Hogwarts tended to have that effect on them. He had been worried for a moment that Lily would do something…Lily-like and sacrifice Hogwarts to stay for Petunia, but he should have known better. Severus didn't know what he would do if that happened, but he knew once they were finally at Hogwarts; no one would be able to come between them.

1971

Lily's uncertainty returned at dinner, when she finally faced Petunia. It was an ordinary meal with the four of them seated around the table as always, but the tension was thicker than ever. Edward and Bryony were oblivious, chatting cheerfully about their day.

"Can you pass the potatoes, Tuney?" Lily asked hesitantly, having the need to make conversation, as mundane it was.

Petunia paused as if she needed to mull her sister's request over. "Yes." She daintily lifted the bowl. As she handed it to Lily, she whispered rather loudly, "Freak."

Lily instantly felt the sting of new tears, but she bravely blinked them away. Their parents did not seem to notice the exchange and were merrily contemplating the idea of a holiday in France next year.

"I don't want to go to France," Lily said suddenly. "Then Sev will be alone." The thought of her friend abandoned in that horrid house almost made the tears fall again. He would be miserable for the entire summer and it would be her fault.

"We're not staying because a freak has separation anxiety," Petunia declared. "I want to go to France."

Edward and Bryony exchanged worried glances.

"Petunia, please stop saying that word," Edward reprimanded with startling sternness. He then glanced over at Lily, his face softening. "And if Severus's parents allow it, he is more than welcome to join us."

This was too much for Petunia. She tossed her napkin dramatically to the tabletop. "I refuse to be seen in public with that…"

"Freak?" Lily offered quietly.

"Freak!" Petunia's face was crimson with anger, deepening by the second. Whether she had heard Lily or not was unclear. "As the only normal one in this family, my opinion counts most."

Edward nonchalantly helped himself to more potatoes. Beneath his calm exterior, Lily could tell that he was holding back a lecture. "Are we not normal now?" he asked mildly, setting the dish back down.

"Obviously!" Petunia crossed her arms defiantly across her chest. "You and Mum are encouraging this…abnormality. It's not normal."

"I think we heard that," Bryony said, as if Petunia was merely repeated the weather forecast. She turned toward her husband, holding a small plate. "More sprouts, love?"

"Sprouts would be lovely," Edward responded much too heartily.

Petunia's face soured. "I know what you're doing you know. You might be ignoring me, but that doesn't change anything. That awful boy turned Lily into a-"

"Stop calling him that!" Lily broke off her sentence in a rare show of anger. Her eyes blazed emerald green fire as her creamy complexion flushed pink. She was tired of Petunia's constant jabs at Severus. It was bad enough that other Muggle children taunted him. He didn't need it from her very own sister too. "Sev isn't awful. He's my best friend. He's loyal, smart, and nice, which is more than I can say for you."

Petunia rose from her chair, but this time it was Bryony who cut in. She held up her hand, signaling for her daughter to sit down. Petunia obeyed with a bitter scowl.

"This has gone far enough," Bryony spoke without a hint of a twinkle in her eyes. She did not bother to mask her disappointment, and Lily suddenly felt ashamed. "What happened to you girls? You used to be such close friends."

There was silence.

"Whatever it is, I suggest you sort it out soon," Bryony continued coolly. "Because your father and I are trying to enjoy a nice family meal."

Lily lowered her head so that a tumble of red hair shielded her face. She didn't want to fight with Petunia. More than anything, she wanted her sister back. The old Petunia may have been bossy and irritating at times, but at least she hadn't been so…cold.

There was a bittersweet feeling as Lily remembered one afternoon at the park when their parents had bought ice cream. Lily had dropped hers and began to cry, but it had been Petunia who had insisted on sharing hers. It had been a sisterly moment, hardly rare then. It may have been only a few years ago, but now it felt like ages.

Now it was as if Petunia hated her.

Without raising her head, Lily's gaze shifted from her plate to Petunia. If Petunia was having any regrets, she wasn't showing them. Instead, she was furiously stabbing her plate with a fork. Lily winced inwardly as she heard the faint screech.

There was still seven days until Hogwarts. Lily decided she would just have to patch things up with Petunia before then. Pleased with her decision, Lily felt her appetite return and quickly polished off her plate.