Hey everybody, it's me, The Goon. Chapter 4 of 8 Bit Academy is now up for your enjoyment, so please do :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or 8 Bit Theater. (so far, the only characters I technically own are the Light Warrior Replicas)
Just for the sake of a quick recap, I'm putting some character profiles here for major characters [so far], but feel free to skip this part if you wanna jump right into the story.
Fighter- The most enthusiastic of the Light Warriors, but certainly not the brightest
Black Mage- A magic user with a real evil steak, and spends most of his time trying to get White Mage's attention, he is now allowed to use MORE than one Hadoken per day
Thief- A clever and witty pickpocket who is hiding something from everyone else
Red Mage- A noble magic user who is obsessed with quests and statistics
White Mage- A pure and innocent servant of the holy, she plays a key role in the Light Warriors' destinies
Black Belt- An expert in martial arts and somewhat like White Mage's guardian, what could be in store for him in the future?
The Light Warrior Replicas- They go by the names of Matt (Fighter's replica), Toby (Black Mage's replica), Marcus (Thief's replica), and Felipe (Red Mage's replica). Since they are creations of Sarda, they believe that they are the real Light Warriors and that our heroes are the replicas.
Sarda- The Vice Principal of 8 Bit Academy, and also one of the most powerful sages in all existence...and is often referred to by Black Mage as a jackass
The Principal- The mysterious principal who is in charge of 8 Bit Academy, and predicts the destinies of the Light Warriors. Who IS The Principal?
The Light Warriors remained silent, staring at the never-ending whiteness that surrounded the castle. They were inside a private dimension created by Sarda. They were all thinking the same thing…what a jackass.
"How does old man McJackass expect us to get out of here?" asked Black Mage.
"Red Mage," said Thief, "You're an expert in physics and all of that. Does that have anything to do with how we can escape?"
"Based on the data that I can collect," said Red Mage, "I'd say…no, we're pretty much screwed."
"Some help you turned out to be," said Black Mage sarcastically, "Now let's make it even more helpful! STAB TIME!"
"So how do we get out of here?" asked Thief.
"Ugh, do I have to do this every time?" came a booming voice from the other end of the hall.
The Light Warriors turned to see Sarda at the other end of the hall…or so they thought. They could see part of the painting through Sarda, so they assumed he was a ghost or duplicate of some sort.
"I won't be here to tell you what to do every time, you know," said Sarda.
"Sarda!" exclaimed Fighter, "You came to rescue us!"
"No, you idiot!" groaned Sarda, "I came here to help you figure out what to do! Now listen, in the ballroom of this castle, there are four different orbs moved around, and four open spaces in the fountain in the next room."
"So let me guess," said Thief, "We need to put the orbs in the right places and it will help us get out of here."
"Something like that," replied Sarda, "Except it won't be that easy."
"What does that mean?" asked Red Mage.
"Sorry, I can't explain anymore," said Sarda, who started to fade away, "Good luck!"
"Hold it, jackass!" cried Black Mage.
It was too late. Sarda disappeared before Black Mage could get more answers from him.
"We better be on our way then," said Red Mage.
The Light Warriors went back to the ballroom and sure enough, four orbs were in the center of the room.
"Those can't be…" gasped Red Mage.
"The Elemental Orbs?" wondered Thief.
"Those worthless things?" asked Black Mage.
"How could you say that, Black Mage?" asked Fighter, "With these, we'll be true Light Warriors!"
"Whoop-de-fuggin-doo," Black Mage said, mocking Fighter, "Let's just find that fountain and put these in the correct order…whatever it is."
The Light Warriors went down the elegant stairs and each grabbed an orb. Fighter grabbed the Orb of Wind. Thief grabbed the Orb of Earth. Black Mage grabbed the Orb of Fire, so that left Red Mage with the Orb of Water.
"That way!" exclaimed Thief, pointing to a small tunnel leading to another room.
The Light Warriors ran though the cold, dark, stone tunnel leading to the next room. It looked exactly like the ballroom they were just in, only it had the fountain in the center, and there were no staircases or balconies. The fountain wall was gold, and the pure, fresh water that emerged from the fountain went up about halfway through the room. Unlike most fountains, this one had a square wall. On each side of the wall was a small hole carved into it. This was where an Orb was to be placed. Unknown to them, White Mage and Black Belt were watching them through a stain-glass window atop the room.
"So which one goes where?" asked Red Mage.
"I know!" exclaimed Fighter, "We go by our line up! Meaning my Orb goes first, then Black Mage's, then Thief's…"
"Stupid!" roared Black Mage, smacking Fighter on the back of the head.
"That hurt," whined Fighter.
"We could do that," said Thief, "or we could read what's written in the water."
"There's writing? Where?" asked Red Mage.
"Down at the bottom of the fountain," said Thief, "and if I'm not mistaken, it says, Fire goes across from Water, Wind is never north."
"That's it?" exclaimed Black Mage, "That's all the hints we get? How does Sarda expect us to solve this puzzle?"
"Well, there's a letter N carved into one of the walls here," said Red Mage, "So we know not to put the Orb of Wind there."
"But that doesn't even help!" moaned Black Mage.
"We still have the Fire goes across from Water part," said Thief.
"But we don't even know where those go!" cried Black Mage.
"Just put your Orbs in already!" shouted Fighter.
The other three turned and saw that Fighter had placed the Orb of Wind on the east wall.
"Why did you…?" they all asked.
"I dunno," said Fighter, "I'm just putting it anywhere BUT the north wall.
"Well then," said Red Mage, "If Fire and Water are across from each other, then it must be North and South! Which means the Orb of Earth goes in the west wall!"
They each placed their Orbs in those spots, but nothing happened.
"Now what?" wondered Fighter, "Do we get showered in confetti?"
"I'll bet you put the Orb of Wind in the wrong place, moron," said Black Mage.
"Or we could try switching Fire and Water," said Thief.
Black Mage and Red Mage switched the positions of their Orbs, and waited patiently for a minute to see if there was a change. But alas, there was none.
"I told you wind was in the wrong place!" said Black Mage.
"No, that can't be right!" said Fighter.
"Yes it is!" said Thief, "It goes in the south wall!"
"What makes you so sure?" asked Fighter and Black Mage simultaneously.
"The riddle said the Orb of Wind is never in the north, but it never said anything about the south," said Thief, "and we know now it doesn't belong in the east wall. And just because Fire and Water are always across from each other, doesn't mean it has to be north and south!"
"Let's give that a shot!" said Red Mage.
They switched the Orb of Wind into the south wall, the Orb of Earth in the north wall, the Orb of Water in the west wall, and the Orb of Fire in the east wall. But still, nothing happened.
"Try switching up water and fire," said Thief.
Black Mage and Red Mage switched the positions of the Orb of Water and the Orb of Fire. At first, they didn't think it was working, until a bright light shined from under the fountain.
"They did it!" said Black Belt, "They solved the puzzle!"
"But don't you remember what Sarda said about the part after the puzzle?" asked White Mage.
"What about it?" asked Black Belt.
"You don't pay attention a lot, do you, Black Belt?" asked White Mage.
"Usually not," admitted Black Belt.
"This better be our way out," said Black Mage, "No more surprises from that jackass!"
"As much as I agree with you, BM," said Thief, "That word is getting a little old."
"Well it's true!" replied Black Mage.
"Why is the gold shiny stuff going black?" asked Fighter.
He was right. The gold shine that came from the bottom of the fountain was turning into an ugly, dark form of gas. It covered the beautiful fountain and started to lift it up. From the darkness emerged an ugly monster. Its head was a giant, stone rock with glowing yellow eyes and a big mouth. The only other thin that this monster consisted of was two giant hands.
"Oh no! It's a…what is this thing?" asked Fighter.
"Let's just call it a…Stonehead!" said Red Mage.
"Sounds good to me," said Thief.
"Yeah, great to hear we're gonna die at the hands of a Stonehead," muttered Black Mage sarcastically.
To be continued...
The first story arc is almost done :)