Title of Fanfic "The Panther"

Penname Moonkitty Liafle

Email address lunarswan@yahoo.com

Which categories your fic is competing in: Best AU/ Best Drama/ Best Series

Any Warnings: Rated "R" for mature themes, sexual violence; abuse

THE PANTHER

Part IV. A Thread Between Two Worlds

"What happened to you?" he asked.

I cleared my throat and stepped away from Heero, crossing my arms in front of my body and shrugging, "None of your business." I lowered my head, "I'm sorry about this, I didn't know where else to go. I got nervous and silly and panicked. You know how us popular girls are."

He shook his head. "No. No, I don't." Suddenly, he reached out his hand again and grasped my fingers in his own, "I can take you home if you'd like."

I smiled slightly and nodded slowly. "I'd love that."

And so, without another word, he led me to his old, beat up car and pulled out of the driveway. After a minute or two of silence, I cleared my throat, "Heero? How did you notice me outside?"

He glanced over at me briefly before turning his attention back to the road, "I was about to go out to get gas."

We both sighed. The radio wasn't on, and since he didn't make a motion to touch the dial, I didn't either. The silence was endless, but it was a good kind of stillness, like the kind I observed in the neighborhood washed by moonlight, or the bubbles of quiet created between friends who have known each other for years.

Once in a while, I would give him a direction to get to my house, but even that could not break the hushed atmosphere. When he pulled up, he waited until I waved to him before leaving. I didn't even say thank you.

I entered my room through my window, which was all right because my parents expected me to crash at a friend's house on days of dances. The hours moved slowly in the darkness of my room as I waited for the house to settle into complete silence before I crept out to take a shower.

My dreams were filled with questioning blue eyes that would not leave me alone.

I didn't know what to think.

I mean, seeing Relena Darlian bruised and beaten so horribly--she obviously had gotten herself into a great deal of trouble. I should have done as she asked and let it slide, but something kept me thinking about it. Even though I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, I could see with perfect clarity the rings of bruises that had made handcuffs on her wrists, and the yellowing marks around her delicate throat. Then those thoughts of her body led to other thoughts that I attributed to predictable male hormones.

I closed my eyes again, and tried to do what I always did when distressed--envision my mother.

My mother had dark complexion that had stemmed from her Asian ancestry, but generations of Caucasian blood mixing into the line had given her stirring blue eyes. I never thought she was very beautiful, but when she laughed, she sounded just like an angel.

I rolled over to look at my wall. It was bare, like the rest of my room. My aunt, bustling away in the kitchen to make a midnight snack, sounded like she was in another galaxy. I heard the stairs creaking slowly under my aunt's light weight, and then the delicate patter of her feet walking on the floor.

Aunt Poppy was my mother's older sister, but as my mother said when I was a kid, Poppy was always one flower short of a bouquet. My aunt and my father were going out steadily until Poppy brought him home for the weekend. When he met my mom, he dumped Aunt Poppy for her. There was a rift of hatred and jealousy between them until the day my mother died. I think the fact that her sister's son had to depend on her to survive made my aunt perversely happy.

My door creaked open and I shut my eyes. I knew what she would look like anyway, fancy and wrinkly, with her hair dyed mousy brown and her gaunt frame wrapped in some silky robe.

"I saw a girl outside of our house tonight," she said archly, seeing through my feinted sleep.

"So?" I replied.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"No."

"Is she your friend?"

"No."

"Who the heck was she?" Aunt Poppy asked.

I sighed and pulled the blankets up over my shoulder, remembering Relena's delicate face and her bruised skin, "I don't know."

I don't think I'd ever dreaded the morning as much as I did that night. I was expecting many phone calls demanding an explanation, asking if I was all right--

Perhaps the greatest shock of all was when Sunday came and I did not receive a single call. This, of course, sent my nerves into high gear. What had Davey said to them?

By two, I resorted to desperate measures and called Hilde.

I brought the portable in my room and shut the door carefully. My father had gone back to work at the hospital and my mother had gone outside to see how her flowers had survived the cold. My mother's cheeks were burned from two weeks of skiing, but other than that, she looked normal, as did my dad. Their occasional vacation retreats were quite common in my life, and I had adapted.

Hilde picked up the phone after two rings, but almost hung up again the moment I said hello.

"What do you want, Relena?" she hissed. I could imagine her crossing her arms and pouting as we spoke.

"What's wrong with you? I just wanted to apologize for last night--"

"Why are you apologizing to me, Relena? You should apologize to Davey for what you did! It's a wonder he still goes out with you after having to put up with all your temper tantrums. I didn't think you'd be so hard on the guy."

"What did he tell you?"

"That you were jealous about the Marcy incident, of course, and that you slapped him and ran out."

"What 'Marcy incident?'"

"Don't pull that shit on me, Relena. Everyone's been talking about it since Friday. Marcy pulled Davey by the arm during History and kissed him right on the lips. It wasn't like he was participating or anything. How could you throw a fit over someone as ditzy and stupid as Marcy?"

"Hilde, please listen to me," I said slowly, "I didn't even know about that."

There was a pause on the end of the other line, "What are you saying, Relena? That Davey lied?"

I massaged my temples slowly, "Hilde, I think I was just too tired. I thought I saw something so I ran away. There was nothing more to it."

"Oh," Hilde said in an embarrassed tone, "I thought--"

"Davey was confused too. It was no one's fault."

"Okay."

"See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that, Relena."

"It's okay."

"Relena, everyone else thinks--"

"I don't care what they think, Hilde."

Hilde's voice was sad and slow, "Relena, you'll tell me what's going on someday, won't you?"

I drew a breath. I was ready to reply, I was going to tell her everything--but then I realized something depressing. Hilde wouldn't understand. No one could.

I said good-bye and hung up.

I was all alone, just like four years ago.

I went to my backpack to start my homework, but stopped when I heard my bedroom door open. My mother was standing in the doorway, smiling. She smelled of the Earth, and was tracking dirt into the house.

"Relena? When you get a chance, I want you to clear out those old boxes in Milliardo's room," she said, smiling cheerfully, "He's coming home for the weekend."

My voice left my throat and I nodded fearfully.

My brother was coming home in less than a week.

I didn't even notice my mother's departure.

By Monday, everything seemed to be patched up. Hilde had called up a lot of other people and told them my side of the story. When I passed her in the hall going to English class, she smiled and winked at me, and I realized that she had done the only thing she knew how to do to help me.

For one moment, my day was brightened, but it soon faded back into the gray dreariness that hinted the coming of a storm. Later that day, the rain would come, falling down in torrents and soaking everyone to the bone.

English class was dull, and I spent the time leaning my cheek on my hand and doodling on binder paper. The most eventful occurrence was when Heero stood up to sharpen his pencil.

I'm not saying that pencil sharpening was interesting in the least, but when he was moving to his seat, he gave me the most piercing blue glare I have ever felt. I blushed and looked away angrily.

What did he know? How much did he assume? I never thought that my curiosity would turn into such a potential threat to my existence. If he told anyone.

When the bell rang, I almost flew out of the class, but it seemed as if my day was cursed. Davey was leaning on the wall near my locker, his hazel eyes narrowed and his face arranged into a smug grin.

"So, Relena, why did you leave so suddenly at the dance?" I walked towards him, and he wrapped his arms around me, turning me so my back was to the wall. He moved his lips close to mine, "I had plans for that night you know."

I nodded carefully and his hands went down to my waist. It looked as if he were holding me, but he was just squeezing his hands harder and harder. I think I might have gasped because he pecked a kiss on my lips and let go suddenly.

"What's up with you, babe? Don't you like me?"

I sighed, "Yes, Davey, but I have to get to class."

He leaned in for one last kiss, and before he moved away he whispered, "Relena, you are mine. Don't you ever forget it."

It is funny how just a couple of words can seal your fate. I could do nothing except pull away to work on my combination, and watch him walk away through the corner of my eye.

If I had been looking in the other direction, I would have noticed a pair of eyes observing the scene as well.

The bell rang. I was late for class.

I was not surprised when Duo came in late for advanced metal shop, or when Mr. Burns threatened to write him up. For as far back as I could remember, Duo had always managed to miss the warning bell to get to class, and every teacher was on his case about it.

I didn't think he'd been late for a real reason this time, but I learned otherwise when he drew me aside to sort scraps for salvageable metal.

"I saw Relena today," he said in a low voice, upending the scrap bucket and picking through it.

"So?" I replied in an equally muted voice. I had seen Relena the period before--it didn't seem very astounding to me.

"You don't get me, Heero, I saw her with Davey."

"They've been going out for a year. I would be surprised if you didn't see them together," I replied, trying to keep my voice even.

"Do I detect a hint of envy?" Duo said gleefully.

I didn't even respond to that one.

Duo began dividing the heap into two piles with quick and experienced hands, "I never really got to see them that close before, you know how it is. Heero, Davey was--"

"What?" I said sharply before I realized that I was even speaking.

Duo lowered his gaze to the scraps, "It looked like he was hurting her."

I felt the blood leave my face. The pieces clicked in place all at the same time. Why she ran from the dance, why she was bruised, why she said she had a problem.

"What was he doing to her?"

Duo shrugged, "Squeezing her waist real hard like he was hurting her. Do you think that he wouldyou know."

"Beat her up?" I finished for him tactlessly, "Yeah, I think so. It's not like it doesn't happen."

It did happen. I knew because I had done it myself. I could feel the sting of Yolanda's skin under my hand, the vicious red haze that ruled my mind when I looked down at her.

Duo seemed to be remembering this too because he looked away, "But what did Relena do to Davey? Embarrass him? Hurt his pride?"

"Maybe he had the same reason I did." I said quietly, "Maybe he thought she was cheating on him."

Duo laughed at that, "With who?"

"With me."

Duo shook his head and laughed again, "Woah there, cowboy. For a minute there I thought you said that she was cheating with you!"

"Not that she is cheating with me, but that Davey might think she is." Duo had a very skeptical expression plastered across his face that urged me on, "The night of the danceafter Relena ran offshe came to my place."

Duo's dark eyes widened, "Seriously? What happened?"

Heero shrugged, "I drove her home."

Duo let out a small squeal of frustration, "Heero, you are the most boring teenager on the planet! You just drove her home? Am I no influence on you at all?"

I lifted an eyebrow, "I certainly hope not."

He sighed and began putting the good metal into a box, "So, what was so special about that?"

"She hadmakeup on her wrists and neck."

"Makeup?"

"I rubbed it offand her hands and throat were covered with bruises."

Duo looked very nervous. He shrugged and continued sorting while I played with a piece of metal in my hands, "Well, she's a cheerleader. They do a lot of complicated routines."

I shook my head, "No, it doesn't fit."

Duo looked away, "I know."

"Why" I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts, "Why does she cover it up? Why doesn't she dump him if he hurts her?"

With an angry movement of my hand, I swept away the bad metal scraps out of my way. Duo watched me carefully as he said, "We all have our secrets, Heero, and we all have our fears."

That felt wrong to me. I didn't want to be afraid anymore.

And I didn't want Relena to be afraid either.

Marcy had me go overtime doing a hard routine until my back and calves were screaming for mercy. The setting sun was slanting through the high windows in the locker room and I felt a strange sense of peace. The other girls had left long before, and I relished the solitude.

Within minutes, I was dressed and ready to go. Orange lights flickered on in the gym, and I heard the telltale rumble of cleats on concrete that signaled the soccer team lumbering to the locker room after practice. Without another word, I yanked up my book bag and left.

By the time I had gotten to my car, dusk had set in, and rain began to pour. The weather was fickle that week, strange and constantly changing from day to day. I hadn't seen a winter like that since I was in the seventh grade. It took three tries for my car to start up, so when I was out on the road I was quite predictably relieved. When I finally did get home, I was shocked to find two familiar cars by my house. My brother's white Celica was in the driveway, and Heero's beat up old car was rumbling in the street. The rain was coming down in sheets and sliding across the asphalt because of the strong wind.

I parked quickly and went to Heero's car first. The windows were fogged up and the rain was drenching, so I pounded on the passenger's window and waited for it to roll down. Instead, the shadowy figure of the driver leaned over and opened the door.

I found myself looking into Heero's cold eyes.

"You want to go get something to warm to drink?" he asked nicely, but his tone was not polite.

I only spared myself a moment to glance back at my house before getting into the car--I didn't want to go home yet, not with my brother there. The moment I buckled my seat belt, he pulled away from the curb and to the local coffee shop.

Five minutes and one short line later, we sat down at an isolated table by the window with our drinks.

There was nothing more unsettling than sitting down at a table with Heero Yuy. His expression seemed to scare people away, while it only seemed to compel me. Admitting that was a confusing revelation I did not want to think about just yet.

The tension between us seemed to stretch like a rubber band, farther and farther until finally it snapped.

"I need to talk to you," Heero said suddenly. He hadn't touched his drink and neither had I, so I took that moment to pick mine up for a careful sip.

"What about?" I asked, but I knew what his answer would be.

"Davey."

My eyes met his in a nervous glance, "What about him?"

"Does hedoes he hurt you?"

Alarm bells went off in my mind. A little boy was asking his mother for a sip of her coffee a few tables over, but I was completely focused on Heero, "I don't believe that is any of your business, Heero."

The eyes grew even icier with anger, "I'm making it my business, just like you did."

"I--"

"Tell me, Relena. I need to know."

"Why?" the words just popped out of my mouth. What was I hoping for? What did I have the right to hope for? I had brought up Heero's past, and now he had the nerve to--

I never should have talked to him. What did I see in him? Was I trying to escape?

Did I want to?

I finally broke eye contact with him and stared at the stained tabletop, "He doesn't mean to."

"He doesn't mean to?" he repeated in a mocking tone.

"II can't expect you to understand. I can't explain--"

He reached out and touched my hand. I had never felt his hand before, and I found it warm and dry and comforting.

"You can explain it."

For one moment, I looked back up at him, but I turned my attention back down, "When heyou knowit makes me feel better. If he hurts me, I know exactly what I am. I'm nothing at all. Have you ever tried it? It's nice. When they hit you, it's a punishment for all of the bad things you've done. You don't feel selfish or egotistical or arrogant. You feel humble and perfectlike the martyr in a fairytale. Yes, you're worthless, yes, you're selfish, but someone is teaching you a lesson. Someone is looking out for you. And Idon't feel afraid.

"When I'm with him, I'm the perfect stereotype of a teenager. I won't stand out. I won't be weird or special--just plain normal. That's who I have to be. That's who I'm supposed to be."

I was rubbing away tears with my free hand and his grip tightened. I looked over to his hand over mine and flushed. What did everyone else in the shop think of us?

"Relena, you're not supposed to be anyone, just yourself."

I was sick of it. I was sick of him trying to console me, and I was sick of thinking that he was so kind. Why did I have to tell Heero Yuy all of the things I had never told anyone?

My hand disappeared from his grasp and folded with its fellow in my lap. When I looked back into his eyes, I had covered up all of the vulnerability and fear, "Why should I listen to advice from someone who can't even figure his own life out?"

A fierce hatred burned between us until it ran out of fuel and died, "You tell me," he said in a phlegmatic voice.

At first I thought he was being mean or giving me a warning, but then I realized that Heero Yuy was doing his best to extend his hand in friendship.

"Perhaps there really isn't anyone else we can talk to," I said slowly, "Maybe we should try tohelp each other. You know my secret and I know yours, so I suppose we're even, right?"

He nodded warily, "What's your point?"

"There's something that connects us, Heero."

"You haven't told me everything, have you?" he asked suddenly.

I stood up and picked up my drink, gently brushing away what remained of my tears, "No, I haven't," I replied truthfully, "Could you please take me home now? I believe our discussion has ended."

He stood up as well, and I couldn't help but blush when he opened the door for me when we went out.

There was an invisible thread that bound us together, all right. It wouldn't take me long to realize that it was called 'love.'