Chapter Four: Cooking and Tricks.

I'm thinkin' a nice roasted Cucco with fried Tektite Legs and an appetizer of cooked Keese wings. Darunia thought as he licked his chops. The rest of the Sages had declared him the official Cook of Sages and he was fixing another delicious meal. Not for him of course, he was going to eat the biggest and best rocks strait from Dodongo's cavern. After putting together the finishing touches with the Saltshaker of Sages, he rang the Lunch Bell of Sages. Approximately 0.3 seconds after, six out of seven Sages crowded around the Table of Sages. The seventh Sage, being a certain watery fish lady whom I'm sure you all know, took nearly thirty seconds to get to the Table of Sages. Darunia rolled his eyes. Ruto was always saying how much she disliked his food ("Where I come from we had real food.") yet she still asked for seconds ("I must keep my strength up I'm afraid.")! But today he had something special planned. Special and…sinister!

"Oh don't worry Ruto," he said. "You don't have to eat anything. Link's going to take you to lunch in a few minutes."

Ruto's head snapped up. "But isn't he married?"

"Oh haven't you heard?" Darunia asked innocently. "The wedding was called off."

By now all the other Sages were looking at him quizzically. Darunia gave them a Don't-say-anything look.

"Really?" Squeaked Ruto.

"Yup." Ruto stood there for a second before surprising everyone."HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!"

Ruto ran from the room in a flash.

"Can we stop holding in our barely suppressed laughter now?" Asked Saria casually.

"Oh sure." At once the Kitchen of Sages erupted in hilarity as four Sages (Rauru and Impa didn't join in you see, as I said before, they are mature) almost died of Extremely Massive Outstanding Super Hyper laughter (E.M.O.S.H. laughter for short).

"You do realize that you are dead meat?" Asked Nabooru wiping the tears from her eyes.

Darunia frowned. For a fish-head Ruto packed quite a punch and he didn't want to end up in the Hospital of Sages. Or dead. I'll just run her over with my Goron roll if she gets rough. He thought. And if worse comes to worse, there's always that sword Biggoron gave me…

"I WILL ANNIHILATE YOU!" Screamed Ruto in the kitchen.

Darunia was, for the first time in his life, truly afraid. "W-w-what are y-you talking about?" He stammered.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Screamed Ruto. "I went to see Link at Hyrule Castle Town and DID HE COME? NO!" As a physical explanation point (As if that last comment needed any more) Ruto picked up Darunia's recipe book, and threw it into the fireplace in the Living Room of Sages.

No! Darunia thought horrified. That was my best book! He clenched his large Goron hands into large Goron fists. "You're gonna' pay." He snarled. He picked up a large Goron fistful of spinach and onions and flung them at the famous fish-face. It met its target and Ruto responded with a large peace of pizza. This resulted in an all-out food war. They were both so absorbed in attacking the other with various edible objects that they failed to notice Rauru who had come into the kitchen for a cup of decaffeinated coffee.

"My word!" Shouted Rauru. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" The Sages of fire and water both froze for a few seconds before shouting,

"HE DID IT!" and

"SHE DID IT!" Simultaneously.