That's Hospitality-chapter IV
Disclaimer: I do not own the Trinity Blood characters. They are the property of their creators.
Rated K+ (PG) for mild crude and suggestive humor.
Introduction: Roll up, roll up, loyal readers for the fourth act of this electrifying trailer-park adventure! It's time to return to the plight of the long suffering Isaak and the irrepressible Dietrich as Radu escapes the junk-food chamber of horrors. Also, will the lovely Miss Lurleene succeed in working her charms on Isaak? Read on to find out!
Outside Miss Lurleene's trailer, Dietrich lay back on the dingy sofa riddled with rips through which the moldy stuffing protruded. He slowly breathed a languid sigh of relief. Although his irritating alcohol intolerance had caused him some embarrassment, the marionettespieller giggled softly. He recalled the look on Isaak's face when he informed the mage that he was stepping out for some fresh air, leaving the unfortunate vampire alone with their hostess.
Suddenly, Dietrich tensed in suspicion when he noticed a tall swaggering figure emerging from the surrounding gloom. "Aw man, look at what the cat coughed up, Little Miss Marionettespieller!" a familiar yet obnoxious voice called tauntingly.
Straightening up, Dietrich responded in a sneering tone, "Oh my, if it isn't the two-faced pyromaniac himself. What troubles you Radu? Did you have a tiff with your darling little Ion? Or perhaps you accidentally set fire to your CD player in the midst of a 'heated' round of karaoke?"
The dusky complexioned vampire glared murderously at his infuriatingly flippant nemesis. "Yeah, you think you're sooo cute, but you've got it comin' ladyboy…" he growled to himself. "Hey, where's Isaak?" he asked Dietrich.
Sniggering while daintily raising a hand to his mouth, Dietrich pointed at the nearby trailer. "Oh, Isaak and I were invited to dine with a charming young fraulein. Unfortunately, her cooking didn't agree with his sensitive digestive system," he said with a smirk.
The young vampire shrugged. "Heh, it actually serves Isaak right y'know. Think of all the times he forced us to eat his 'special' sauerkraut Chinese pot stickers," he recalled. Then, he felt himself succumb to another wave of nausea brought on by the grease fumes. "Come to think of it, that grease smell is making me feel kinda sick too," muttered Radu.
As he lurched up the trailer's steps, Dietrich tugged at his arm. "Excuse me, but what are you up to?! Isaak and Lurleene would probably appreciate some privacy right now!" he protested.
Radu clutched his stomach and whimpered in reply, "Cut it out! I think I'm gonna- "
Meanwhile, inside the trailer Isaak lay slumped on the sofa while attempting to calm his lacerated nerves following his humiliating ordeal. As he extracted a cigarillo from the packet he unfailingly kept in his coat pocket, Isaak found the flame from a glittery pink lighter strategically positioned to ignite it. Taking a deep breath of nicotine infused smoke, the beleaguered vampire turned to find Lurleene seated next to him. "Thank you, madam," he murmured, "It seems something in that dish didn't sit well."
Lighting her own cigarette, Lurleene affectionately patted her guest's shoulder as she inched closer towards him. "Oh I jist feel awful about that there indisposition of yers! Since you ain't feelin' so good, it'd jist wouldn't be ladylike if I gone dun turn you out this late at night," she expressed, placing her hands on Isaak's knee. Then, as the pair simultaneously reached towards the ashtray on the cluttered coffee table, their hands lightly brushed. Blushing, Lurleene glanced flirtatiously up at Isaak's inscrutable visage.
Inwardly, the vampire tensed as he observed her actions, and speculated with increasing apprehension about her ulterior motives. "Considering the hospitality you have shown my, uhm, colleague and me, it would be terribly ungracious of us to impose on you further," he assured her.
However, as Isaak attempted to take leave of the sofa, his hostess grasped his slender wrist. "Oh Herr von Kampfner! It jist ain't fair! It's dun got so late, it ain't right if you don't spend the night here," she implored, gazing seductively into the vampire's dark slanted eyes, "I'll be so lonely if you don't. Now, the sofa's none too comfy, but even though my bed's small- "
Suddenly, the flimsy door of the trailer was violently flung open and a tall angular figure stood silhouetted in the frame. "Ain al-hammaam!?" bellowed the intruder.
Although the startled Lurleene leapt from the sofa in fright, Isaak immediately recognized the booming voice. "Radu, I have never been more grateful to see you!" exclaimed the relieved mage.
However, Radu was too preoccupied to comment. "Lady, I mean, where's the bathroom!? Seriously, I've gotta…!" demanded the vampire in desperation.
Lurleene shook her head in disbelief. "Y'know, that's the third time I dun been asked that very same question today, and in the third language too!" she said, before directing him towards the appropriate door. "Now, Herr von Kampfner," she began as she turned around to find that the object of her affections had mysteriously vanished. With a sigh of annoyance, Lurleene placed her hands on her broad hips. "Well, that there jist wasn't polite!" she grumbled.
Author's Notes: Goodness me, Isaak certainly had a narrow escape in this installment! Who knows what would have transpired if Radu had not made his entrance when he did…! Hmm, perhaps Isaak and Lurleene could make an, erm, unusual couple, but the affection seems pretty one-sided. In case anyone was wondering, "Ain al-hammaam" does mean "Where is the bathroom" in Arabic. Since Radu is reportedly Egyptian, it stands to reason that Arabic is his native tongue. Will Isaak succeed in thwarting Lurleene's amorous advances? What has Cain been up to during the intervening time? Will anybody else need to use the bathroom?! Join the intrepid RCO next time and find out!