In an utter state of confusion, the police officer looks around frantically, recognizing his surroundings, which only served to increase his bewilderment. One of Shinsengumi's golden rules was that they absolutely forbade females to join. Hence, unless someone dared to sneak a female companion in, (thereby having to face the mayonnaise idiot's wrath? He didn't think so.) it should be impossible for a woman to be in the room…
At least, that must have been a thing of the past, because most unfortunately for Okita, the owner of the discarded undergarment comes into his vision not long after – a pair of slim, pale legs stands in front of him. His eyes travel upwards to an underwear-clad hip, and it's just his luck that the underwear matches with the bra in his hand.
Now, he doesn't need to guess.
His curious eyes continue to trail past the hip; the slightly jutted pelvis bones, the toned abdomen, the chest that's unfortunately curtained by long locks of wild vermillion hair…
And finally, the face.
A countenance that he hasn't seen before is set in a deep frown. She glowers at him, and the officer is, by this point, certain that the article in his hand belongs to this girl. He tries to keep a straight face despite his current predicament, and he's faring well –he's dealt with different cases in the police force, including the shady businesses that exploit prostitution or slavery, so he's somewhat used to seeing semi-naked bodies when they kick down the doors to private inns. Something about this girl makes it a little harder for him to do so, however.
Her eyes dart to the undergarment he holds in his right hand, and Okita is amused to a certain extent to see her face gradually reddening. Without hesitation, she bends down to snatch the bra from him, and despite trying his best not to look, he's still a man in the end, and her hair generously parts to show the rest of her breasts.
Pulling back, Kagura clutches it to her chest. Quickly, she points a finger at him accusingly.
"Don't you dare look or I'll make you eat your eyes." To which he begrudgingly complies, and she runs to the other end of the room to fetch her clothes that lie in a pile. After she puts on her clothes, the Yato goes over to the officer with big strides.
"What did I tell you bastards just now, huh?" She returns. The murderous intent that emits from her is disconcerting. Okita notes the umbrella that she suddenly has with her, and he can't help but feel that a fight might be breaking out. It's an unfair advantage since he doesn't have his sword by his side, but seeing as how this woman looks so fragile, he's more confident than he should be.
She's making no sense – coming in to his room on her own accord and blatantly stripping, and now she's warning him?
"Wait. Lady, I think you've got the wrong idea—"
"Wrong idea my ass!" Her voice cracks; she is clearly hysterical. "What are you doing sleeping in my room? And I just said that I would make you sorry if I caught you, didn't I? You are asking for it, you damn Masochist."
Masochist?! He was no patient person, but this was possibly one of the biggest insults he can never swallow. The Sadist gets up to see her eye-to-eye, his poker face already fallen apart.
"Me, the Prince of Sadists, a masochist?" She flinches when he grabs her arm.
"P-prince? You're not a prince! The uniform you're wearing is the same as the rest of them!"
"I'm not lying. You want to try me?"
To his surprise, a fist comes his way. He narrowly avoids it as it brushes past his jaw, though releasing her in the process. The girl jumps back, looking more pissed off than before. As much as he wants to avoid fighting, she's really getting on his nerves.
"Who wants to try a brat like you? I have better standards. If you really are a prince, then I'll have to call Papi and tell him that there's no way in hell I'm going to marry you."
Rubbing his jaw with the back of his fingers, he deadpans. "Marry me? Keep dreaming, little girl."
"You…!"
Leaping forward, she brings her umbrella down on him. In a second, his sharp reflexes kick in and he blocks her by sandwiching the umbrella with his palms. Kagura doesn't give in. Instead, she pushes forth with all her strength, while he counters with his. When her hands begin trembling from the exerted force, she's miffed at how this human is keeping up with her, a member of the fearsome Yato clan.
"G-give up already, there's no way you'll b-be able to win me." The Yato says through gritted teeth. It annoys the Sadist, whose face is inches away from hers.
"W-what are you talking about?" He taunts back with clenched teeth as well. "A-aren't you the one having problems keeping up with m-me?"
"I'm n-not having problems, you're the one!"
"Little girls shouldn't be l-lying, you know?"
"Gah! I'm… not… a… little… girl!" With all her might, Kagura successfully pushes her umbrella past his hands and whacks him directly on his shoulder. A loud crack resounds through the entire room just as he yells and falls back on his butt. Lifting his head to scowl at her, he stops when he sees that the crazy woman is preparing to hit him again! Before she can, he dodges to the side.
"HAAAAAAA—"
The wall which he had been leaning against just a few moments ago has a huge hole in it, with plaster scattered all over the floor. Kagura slowly rises like a beast, her blue eyes shining in the darkness. Apparently, she isn't satisfied until she beats his head in.
Bewildered at this woman's strength, the police officer desperately grabs a nearby object with his functioning hand and steadies himself. The badminton racket that he confiscated from Yamazaki earlier in the morning has proven to be useful, now protecting him from a monster. Screw shuttlecocks. Equipped with a weapon, they meet eyes, and he smirks. Admittedly, he is annoyed, but at the same time rather impressed with her insane strength.
"Don't get cocky just because you got a racket, brat! I'll blast a hole in those wires."
"I'll make you eat your words, you crazy woman."
At exactly three in the morning, most of the men are awoken by the sounds of things crashing and sounds resembling gun shots. Hijikata wakes up with a start, and seeing the silhouettes of the officers running down the hallways, he knows that he definitely isn't dreaming. Scrambling to his feet, he opens the door to see them heading thither the end of the corridor.
Vaguely, he remembers something about Kondo telling the Princess about the guest room situated at end of the hallway. Then, promptly hit with a sudden realization; the dreaded thought clears all grogginess in his head. The thought that is that there is also someone whose room is at the end of the corridor.
Someone that's not a guest.
Someone that would happily watch as his victims writhe in pain.
Someone that's a huge Sadist, and would never let anyone step on him.
Someone that's… Okita Sougo.
Well, shit.
Putting two and two together, Hijikata runs at a speed that amazes many of the men when he zooms by. It could be what they call, 'running for his life', from the look on his face.
"OI! STOP WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING—"
The vice-commander runs into the room to see his worst nightmare: Sougo engaged in a brawl with the princess, lying below her and wrestling her with one arm. She, on the other hand, is trying to claw at his throat, hissing expletives that he's pretty sure a princess shouldn't be using.
"Get off each other!" Holding the princess back by locking both of her arms, he separates the two. She continues to squirm, however, growling at the other boy. He isn't satisfied either, getting up to pull a face at her, to which she attempts to scratch.
"Sougo! What are you doing? She's the princess, for god's sake!" Hijikata shouts at him, then he lets go of the princess and apologetically bows. "I'm very sorry, princess. Our police officer got out of hand—"
"I got out of hand? Hijikata-san, she is the one who started attacking me and dislocated my shoulder. Princess or not, I still want to hit her!"
"I wouldn't have attacked you if you weren't peeping at me, you stupid pervert!"
"Pervert? Look, miss, you were the one who came into my room and started stripping here. For your information, the poor innocent me was sleeping. Who would've wanted to look at you anyway?"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
He has to hold the princess back again from hitting Okita.
As expected of her bloodline, she's strong, and the vice-commander has a feeling that she isn't using her full strength to resist him. It doesn't seem to be over yet for the both of them – both looking daggers at each other, each emanating a murderous intent. The easiest way to settle this is to get one of them out, and Hijikata is slightly apprehensive about asking either to leave first.
Thankfully, Kondo makes his entrance, coming in to the room (or what remains of the room) to apologize profusely. "I'm very sorry, princess, the room that I was telling you about is the room opposite this one. Please forgive my careless instructions."
"Hmph!" The Yato turns away from the Sadist, huffing. Then, she wordlessly takes her leave, but not before giving Sougo the finger.
The commander rushes over to the injured boy, who struggles to stand. While the men surround him, they stop as soon as they feel the bad vibes from him. Kondo tentatively walks over to support him, with Hijikata at Okita's other side.
"Hang on, Sougo! Mummy and Daddy will get you to the doctor fast!" Easing him into the car, Kondo revs up the engine and drives as fast as he can through the dark streets of Edo. Okita lies at the backseat, not saying a word.
For once, Hijikata doesn't complain about the parental titles. He's too occupied with checking up on Sougo every few minutes through the rear-view mirror. Seeing the boy's lowered head, he stops after a while when he thinks that Sougo is probably resting.
Little does he know that the boy is actually smiling underneath his shadowed face.
"Heh. That girl…"
I'll make sure to pay her double, is his final thought when they pull up to the hospital.
Sougo was fine, much to the relief of both of his 'parents'. He's doing well with recovering at least, was what the doctor said after the check-up, though he had to forfeit from his duties for a week to rest his dislocated shoulder. Hijikata really isn't one to complain about things, but the fact that he now has to do half of Sougo's job (in pitying his vice-commander, Kondo had agreed to split the workload), and look after the haughty Princess from some faraway planet…
It's too much. Just from just looking after the princess, he already feels like he's going insane.
The three of them only managed to return to their headquarters at dawn with little sleep. He went to bed for barely five minutes when his alarm sounded, and when he dragged himself through training with the men, he was looking forward to the spare time of half-an-hour after that to catch up on sleep. Until, the Princess had stormed in herself to personally wake him up.
"Oi, wake up and do your job already." Kagura ordered, and delivered a kick that sent him flying out of his futon and out to the patio. His task was to bring her to a host family and ensure that she would be in safe hands by staying together with her for three days, and he recalled Kondo telling him about how they had to go to the house in the afternoon, a few hours from then. It was enough to send him in a hurry - till he received news that the family was having some problems and was only available after a few more days.
Finally, Hijikata thought that he could rest for a bit and was heading back to his room, but Kagura apparently thought otherwise.
"Show me around town." She instructed him flatly, while examining her nails. Since he couldn't say no, he had little choice but to oblige.
Even though it wasn't night time, Kabuki-cho continued to bustle with activity. Many of the shops were already open, and the residents were already walking around and preparing for the day. Due to his lack of sleep, however, the vice-commander failed to appreciate the morning's fresh air and activity.
Moreover, the princess had managed to drive him up a wall. Kagura had, firstly, asked him to buy many useless things that she hadn't spared a single glance at with his own money, saying that they were souvenirs for her people. Additionally, they were also expensive things that were leaving obvious holes in his wallet.
"W-what do you even want this for? Who would want such a thing?!" The vice-commander yelled with indignation when she held up the hundredth souvenir to him: a backscratcher that was unnecessarily studded with cheap gems, making it less than functional.
"It's none of your business – just buy it!" She shoved the thing closer to his face and left, leaving him to gape at the shopkeeper, who had an impatient look on his pudgy face. Taking a deep breath, he put down the other bags of souvenirs to pay the man and hurried after the princess.
Then, like she was bent on torturing him, she ate so much that it was another hole to his wallet as well. Pointing at different stalls, she would say that she wanted to try this and that. No, he chided himself as he looked at her face; it wasn't cute when he was the one who was going to suffer in the end.
When their food had arrived, Hijikata couldn't help but notice that the strange look on her face while staring at his bowl. He didn't even need to ask to know what was on her mind, since the next moment she pointed at his Hijikata special and asked with genuine curiosity, "Why did you order dog food?", and pointed at the sign that prohibited pets. "No dogs allowed, see?"
Taking another deep breath to regain his bearings, he muttered, "Just shut up and order already."
"Sure, Mayora."
"Oi, who's mayora—"
"Yo, lady! Give me three bowls of katsudon, two bowls of unadon" The first spoonful of the mayodon was violently coughed out of the vice-commander. "and for the ramen, one bowl of each flavor. Oh, and for the dessert-"
Kondo finds a crime scene when he opens the door to Toshi's room.
The vice-commander is sprawled on the floor, with empty cigarette boxes scattered all around him. To prevent his dear old friend from going somewhere far, far away, he grabs the man and shakes him, screaming in his face for him to wake up. Hijikata weakly raises one hand.
"Kondo-san… burn me… kewpie mayo… in… the… afterlife… Remember, Kewpie…" Saying his last words, Hijikata lets his head fall. Despite the commander's vigorous shaking, he never opens his eyes again. Naturally, it led to more tears, and more gross sobbing on Kondo's part.
"T-Toshiiiiii!"
"It was about time." As if he has been reciting the words for a long time, Sougo waltzes into the room and shakes his head, looking almost reproachful at his dead vice-commander. The act is convincing, until he looks at Hijikata with a face that's desperately trying not to smile.
"Sougo! Call the ambulance, quick!"
"Sorry, Kondo-san, but I think he's already gone." Placing a free hand on Kondo's shoulder, he solemnly says, "Let's just let him rest in peace."
Sougo takes out some weeds from his back pocket and puts it on the supposedly dead Mayora's chest before wiping away some imaginary tears. "My condolences. They were your favourite flowers, weren't they…"
While Kondo quietly prays for his vice-commander who is supposed to be dead, the Sadist does not miss the chance to talk. "I think I know why he ended up like this," the boy begins as innocently as he can. It gets the commander's attention, and he tries to suppress his smirk. "Don't tell anyone, Kondo-san, but, the princess; I saw her putting poison into his bottle this morning."
"R-really?"
"Yeah. In order to avenge my fellow policeman, I'll take care of her in his stead. It's extremely dangerous, but I'll do my best." The fight that Sougo and the princess is completely forgotten by Kondo in his throes of sorrow, and he nods without thinking.
"Be careful, Sougo. Avenge Toshi!" Giving a bow, the Sadist excuses himself and leaves the room.
Although Hijikata is rendered unconscious, he, upon hearing the entire conversation, sees through the boy's plan when Kondo barely suspects a thing. In his semi-conscious dream, he chases after the voice of the Sadist through fields of mayonnaise, desperately attempting to stop him.
"Stop him, Kondo-san!" He begs, and the gorilla standing in front of him grunts and scratches its butt. What will he do now? And what the hell were the 'flowers' that the kid scattered all over him? Oi! Leaving him with no choice, the Mayora continues to plow through the field. Yet, as he runs, it's like the boy is getting further and further away…
SOUGOOOOOOOOO!
AN: … C-come on, it's only been like, what, ten days since Valentines'? I-I'm trying, right? (Go ahead and wallop me with bamboos, guys. Really sorry bout' that.)
Thankfully, my beta-reader stopped me from procrastinating further and she had also told me that I should really stop promising to update soon Oops. Um, so I guess you can expect to see the chapter in the future (maybe soon, maybe never—I'm kidding not really) Thanks for reading, as always!