Hey, sorry for the late update, stupid college responsabilities get in the way
First of all, I have changed the first three chapters a bit to a way that i like them more and think it makes them more interesting, nothing big has changed so for those who have already read them there is no need to reread them
Second, I will definitely finish this, but college will get in the way again, I'm sure, so dont worry if it takes me some time to update, it doesnt mean im giving up on the story
And lastly, i would seriously love some reviews, i wont even mind that much if they are bad reviews, im a big girl, i can take them, and constructive criticism will always be welcome
ok then, on with the story
The first lesson:
It's 9 am on a Monday morning during my precious summer vacations and what better place to be right now than in front of fatass's house about to have our first private class? Why on earth did I agree for it to be on this ungodly hour again? And why the hell on his house? Oh, yeah, I remember that one, I really don't want to subject my family to his narrow and racist mind. We would never hear the end of it with my dear mother.
I finally gather the courage to ring the bell of hell. I strongly fight the voice in my head screaming 'BAIL! BAIIIIIL!' and wait not so patiently for the door to be answered.
As usual, it's Cartman's mum who opens the door "Oh, hello, Kyle!" She greets merrily and opens the door for me to enter "Right on time, my sweetums is waiting upstairs in his room" I smirk at the stupid name as I follow her to Cartman's room.
"Eric" She knocks the door and opens it "Your friend is here to begin the class. Oh" We find Cartman practically passed out in his bed. He has a his regular red jacket on but instead of his everyday pants, he's still wearing his PJ's. Apparently, the fatass fell asleep while changing, that stupid asshole.
His mum approaches the bed and gently shakes him "Wake up, Eric" She says softly "Kyle is here" She only gets a grunt out of him. God dammit, what a waste of time.
"That's ok Mrs. Cartman" I tell her "I'll handle it from here"
"Oh, ok then" She smiles at me "I'll make you both some toasts and tea" She leaves the room.
Once she's out of sight, I near the bed and kick the fatass in the side "ARGH!" He wakes up and falls from the bed on his ass. He looks confused at first, but then spots me and yells "What the fuck, Jew?!" He gets up slowly.
"We have the stupid class fatass" I retort angrily "Remember?"
"Aw, fuck" He seems to have forgotten, the idiot "Why, God, why so early?" He complains.
"So you don't ruin that much of my day, fatboy" I explain as I sit down on the chair at his desk.
He growls annoyed as he places another chair next to mine and sits down heavily "Ok, Jew, where do we start the nightmare?"
"Show me the class notes you have of the year, I don't care how lame they are, I just wanna see if you have actually grasped anything at all this year"
"Class notes?" He snorts "I don't do that shit, Kahl, I have a life"
"You don't have any notes? In a whole year you have no notes at all?" I say exhasperatedly.
"No, Kahl, I don't. See unlike you, I'm not a nerd" He sneers.
"Shut the fuck up" Damn this sucks ass "And what is that supposed to mean anyway? Stan and Kenny take some notes too. They are so nerd, now aren't they?"
"Yes! You're all a bunch of nerdos with no life!"
"Says the dude making up for his shitty grades during the summer in fucking fourth year" I mutter angrily. Before he can aswer that I continue "Never mind, I brought mine" I take my math folder out of my bag.
"Dude!" His eyes widen "That's only math?!" He points at my folder.
"Yes, Cartman, this is only math" I say through gritted teeth "Reason why I don't do bad at school"
"Fucking nerdo" He says in a low voice, but loud enough so he's sure that I hear it. Chances are I will commit murder before the summer is over with.
"Ok, Cartman" I breath deeply to calm myself "Do you remember anything of the multiplication tables?"
"Not a thing" He answers bluntly.
"Brilliant" I nod "What's three times four?" Silence "Two times five?" More silence "Fantastic" I sigh.
"Isn't it?" Cartman nods.
"No, seriously, how ever do you live with you retardedness?" I say pleasantly.
"As long as I'm no filthy Jew or tree-hugging hippy, life is good enough" He states. I roll my eyes.
"Oh yes, life seems to be working wonders for you" I go through my notes until I find the page with all the tables written one by one. I hand the page over to Cartman "Here fatass. You have to learn all these for Thursday"
"Thursday?!"
"Yes! Thursday!" God dammit, what a lame ass! "Ok, what about fractions? You remember what those are about?"
"Maybe" He says uncertainly "What were those again?"
I close my eyes and take a deep breath "One fourth? Three fifths?"
"Oh, yeah those, I remember something about them" He nods.
"Good" I open my eyes again and turn the page in my folder to a blank page and write down a three fourth "Can you tell me which is the denominator?"
"The what?"
Twenty dollars a class, twenty dollars a class, twenty dollars a class. I focus on that thought to fight the urge to punch the retard facing me right now "Fractions consist of two numbers. The top number is called the 'numerator'. The bottom number is called the 'denominator'" I explain as slowly and patiently as I can.
"Uh huh" He seems to be following me for now.
"Now addition and subtraction is quite simple in fractions when we have the same denominator. The number on the bottom that is" I remind him when I see him looking puzzled "You only have to add or substract the numbers on the top, the numerators, and leave the number on the bottom just as they are"
"Why do you keep calling them like that?" Cartman asks sounding annoyed "Numerators and nominators, or whatever they are called, it's just making everything more complicated!"
"Because that's what they are called Cartman!" I reply loudly "And they might use that vocabulary on the test and if you don't know what those words mean then you'll be screwed up!"
"But it's stupid and confusing!" He pounds his fist on the desk, making my pencil fall off it.
"No! You are stupid and that's why it's confusing to you!" I bend over to look for my pencil.
"Goddammit, stop treating me like an idiot, you fucking Jew!" He yells in anger.
"Why not? It's exactly what you are, an idiot for having to make up for this stupid shit during the summer!" I find the damn pencil and get back up again to throw Cartman a dirty look.
"It's not my fault, you damn hippie! Mr. Garrison is the one who-!" There's a knock on the door that interrupts us and Mrs. Cartman comes in looking worried.
"Um, I have breakfast ready" She is indeed carrying a tray with toasts and tea "Is everything alright?"
"Yes, sorry, Mrs. Cartman, we were just having a little argument" I explain quickly "It's nothing" Cartman glowers at me in obvious disagreement.
"Oh, ok then" She leaves the tray on the desk next to my folder "Call me if you need anything, please"
"Yes, thank you, Mrs. Cartman" She smiles and leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
"I can't have any more classes from you, Jew" Cartman states with determination while he takes a bite from his toast "I can't tolerate it"
I stare at him for a moment in which I wonder a bit more at his stupidity "Oh, yeah? Then what are you gonna do about this tests? Or are you accepting the idea that you are gonna have to be held back a year?"
"No!" He fumes "I'm gonna study on my own, thank you"
"Oh, right, with all of your vast knowledge and capacity in studying, your dedication to school and your commitment to anything that requires any kind of effort, is that correct?" I give him a smile full of sarcasm.
"Yes!" He seethes.
"Cartman" I now say in all seriousness "You have to trust me, you wont be able to do this on your own, you really wont. And..." I pause to think about what I'm about to say. It's kind of risky to say it, but I can't possibly get him to to believe me in any other way. So I take a deep breath and say "And no, I'm not saying you wont be able to do it on your own because you are stupid" I look at him intently, trying to convey my sincerity with my gaze. He looks back just as hard, completely silent "I hate saying this, and listen closely because I'm not repeating myself and will deny ever having said this from now on in any future" I grip my pencil "I don't think you are that stupid"
He opens his mouth to rave and prove my point wrong, I'm sure, but I continue before he can say anything "I don't think it's stupidity that has you in this situation" I say calmly "It's even worse than that, as a matter of fact" I nod at his puzzled look "It is complete and absolute lazyness and lameness that you suffer from, Cartman"
"Shut the fuck up, Kyle" He utters in a very low, very menacing voice.
"No, Cartman" I press on "Someone has to tell you this. I'm telling you now what you will realize anyway in more or less ten years from now on your own if you continue being this way. But by then the chances to change will be practically non existent" I finally take my tea and drink "What you have is both better and worse than stupidity. Better because it is treatable. You don't have to be lazy and lame forever, you can change and become someone who is actually worthy. But it is worse because it depends on you. If you were stupid you wouldn't be able to do anything about it, you can't aquire that, it would take all responsability out of you"
"So what you are saying is that if I was stupid it wouldn't be my fault, but being 'lame and lazy', like you say, is all my fault?" Cartman asks just as calmly as me, but I can see the rage in his eyes.
"Yes" I confirm "There are other factors too, I'm sure, but it's mostly your fault"
"Do you know how badly I wanna kick your ass right now?"
"I can imagine" I smile completey undisturbed "So the thing is, it is only up to you to change this situation. No one else can make you stop being lazy and lame. Not even grounding you for months. There's no forcing that" He tries to speak up again but once again I interrupt because I already know what he's thinking "Yes, I know, if this is the case then why the hell can't you study on your own, correct?" He grunts in resentful agreement "Well, I'm afraid that such isn't the case for you. Your lazyness and lameness is way too advanced to get out of them on your own. You need help. A lot. You're never gonna manage it without some imposed discipline and coercion"
"This is fucking BULLSHIT!!" Cartman finally explodes, getting up from his chair, making it fall over in the process "Just because you are using all big words doesn't mean that you are right! I can do it all on my own!"
"No" I say loudly and clearly, looking at him in the eye "You can't. And you know it perfectly well, if only because you know that it is of no benefit for me to lie to you in this situation, since we both know 20 dollars a class is nowhere near enough money for me to actually want to be subjected to this torture"
He breathes heavily, his anger still there but slowly fading "So why the fuck are you here, you filthy Jew?" He whispers.
I snort "Because I'm the retard here, as usual. Because fucking God up there doesn't even know why, but I care. If I just walk away right now, if I give up so fast just because you are being the asshole you are every fucking day of the year and not appreciating what we all are doing in here for you and your worthless existence, I will feel guilty later. I know it. I'm just dumb like that. It wont be the right thing to do, I will have to watch your pitiful self repeating a silly school year and it will kill me. I have to help you now. If only for the memory of the time we were friend-ly"
"God, you are such a fag" Cartman mutters in thought. He seems to be taking in everything I said.
"And you are such a douche" I retort readily. He flips me off almost automatically.
After what felt like an eternity, he makes up his mind "Fine, god dammit, fine! If we have to do this, then let's fucking do it already" He sits back down, resigned.
"That's the spirit" I say in mocking optmism.
"I hate you so much"
"No more than I hate you, fatass"
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If I could get some reviews I would be soooooo happy :D