Their plan, it seemed, had been for nothing.
Eren informed Mikasa and Armin about his dream at lunch the next day.
"Why would he do that?" Armin asked through a mouthful of sandwich.
"Maybe he did it so I wouldn't have to remember..." Eren paused, "all that."
"But now you've remembered. And he feigned ignorance," Mikasa put in.
"The world we lived in, we all lived in, it was terrible. I watched my mother be eaten by a monster right in front of me. I can still remember the crack of her bones breaking in its mouth and the blood droplets that flew through the air. I can always see it. Those damned things—the Titans—took everything from us. They killed our friends, our family, our comrades. And in the end they killed us, too."
Mikasa and Armin blanched.
"I think, maybe, he thinks that even though I can remember, he can still keep the worst away from me by staying away."
"How can we convince him?" Armin asked.
"I think... only I can do that," Eren admitted. "He must think that he did nothing good for me, that it was his fault that I—"
The looming maw of a giant. A scream, so far away. And then nothing.
"Never mind. Just—I need to tell him. That I loved him, that I still do. That that will never, ever change."
"If this is your only chance," Mikasa said, "then do it Eren. Do it."
Levi Heichou... I'm coming. I swear it.
...
Levi didn't like to admit it, but his resolve was weakening, just a little bit.
"Leeeevviiiii," came an irritatingly familiar voice.
He did not look up. "What is it Hanji," Levi said, wording it as a statement instead of a question.
"You've been sitting looking gloomy for three hours now," she replied.
"Go finish your PhD in rock science or whatever the hell you waste your time doing."
Hanji sighed fondly, which irritated him to no bounds. "You're vexed, Levi. Thus, you're acting considerably more grumpy than usual."
"Fuck off, Hanji."
"See. Do some cleaning to clear your mind. That always helps you doesn't it?"
As much as he hated to admit it, that actually didn't sound like a bad idea.
As it turned out, cleaning did clear his mind. Levi mopped the floor of his kitchen, methodically dipping the mop in a bucket of soapy water.
He felt as though, somehow, his whole body was rejecting his decision. His heart ached to see Eren again, to touch him, to feel him. To know he was still alive. He longed to taste his lips once more, like those stolen moments a whole lifetime ago. He longed to look into his eyes, green and blue and gold all at the same time. Feelings were something he tried his hardest to quell, but as he did that, they only grew more and more. It was intoxicating. It drowned him. He could not surface in the ocean that was his feelings for Eren Jaeger. And he hated it.
And yet, he'd sworn to himself that he would make every decision without regrets. However, that was all he was starting to feel.
For once in his life, Levi Ackerman did not know what to do.
...
"How will we find him?" Eren asked despairingly.
"We'll help," Armin replied. Mikasa raised her eyebrows as if to say, will we?
"You will?" It would certainly be easier to track down Levi if there were two others on the case.
"First off—what's his name?"
Eren had forgotten that they didn't know. That they didn't remember everything he did. His knowledge, he thought, was a lonely thing.
"It's Levi."
"Levi what?"
"What do you mean?"
"We need to know his last name if we're going to track him down."
Eren paused for a second, considering. He had to tell them if there was going to be any chance of finding Levi. "Levi Ackerman," he said carefully, watching Mikasa's expression change.
"What do you mean?" she asked. "Your soulmate and I... we're related?"
Well, there went the chance that Mikasa possibly knew him.
"No—I mean, yes. You aren't siblings or anything, we'll you'd probably know that, but you're... some kind of cousins. I think."
"Oh," Mikasa said, obviously disliking that fact. "I've never heard of a relation called Levi."
Thought so.
"Armin? Have you heard of any... Levi Ackermans?"
"Actually," Armin began. "I might know something. On Saturday, the day you met your soulmate, an upcoming author of science books named Hanji Zoe came to do a signing. She brought a friend with her. He was introduced as Levi and he didn't speak at all, only glared at me a few times. It was kind of unnerving. Does that sound anything like your soulmate?"
"That was him, for sure," Eren said, a hopeful smile beginning to cross his face. "If we can find Squad Leader Hanji, then we can find Levi Heichou."
"What do you mean... Squad leader? Heichou?" Armin asked, confused.
"Oh," Eren said, realising his mistake. "That was... that was what they were back then." He kept forgetting Mikasa and Armin didn't know. If only they could find their soulmates, too.
No, it was for the best they couldn't remember. It would only hurt them.
...
Eren, Mikasa, and Armin arrived at the bookshop Armin worked at.
"In here, I'm sure we'll find contact information for Hanji Zoe, and through her, we can arrange a meeting with your soulmate. If all goes well."
Eren nodded. It was a good plan B. Hopefully it would work and he would get to see Levi.
They went inside, the bookshop's interior the same as ever. One of Armin's coworkers stood behind the desk, looking a little bored.
Annie, Eren thought her name was.
"Annie, I was wondering, where can I find the information on all the authors we've had and are having for signings? I need to check something."
"It's on the computer," Annie replied. "In the folder "authors". You should at least know that if you work here."
"I've only been working here for a month," Armin muttered. "Thanks Annie."
Hope was beginning to well up in Eren. Things were going well.
Armin walked over in the direction of the back room, disappearing behind its door seconds later.
"Let's go, Mikasa," Eren said to his adopted sister. She said nothing.
Looking at her, he noticed she wasn't moving. She was frozen, in some kind of shock, her eyes as wide as they could open.
"Mikasa?" he asked again worriedly.
Eren glanced over to Annie, but his gaze lasted longer than he thought it would. Annie bore a mirrored look of horror.
"Eren," Mikasa whispered. "I remember everything."
...
Mikasa Ackerman had never wanted a soulmate.
Every time the thought popped into her mind, she would reject it instantly. She had Eren. He was enough. She had Armin, too.
She had no need for a destined lover from some far off world.
But then, on that day, while searching for Eren's soulmate (ironic, wasn't it?) she'd crossed eyes with someone from another life.
And she'd remembered.
She'd remembered how her parents had been murdered in front of her eyes.
How Eren and her had killed the men who'd done it, and in the instance of a moment, something had awoken inside her.
How Eren's mother was eaten by one of those things right in front of their eyes. It had happened again
And again.
And again.
Until it had been ripped away from her one last time, and that had been enough to kill her.
The funny thing was, Mikasa's memories had been awoken when she'd caught sight of one of the enemy.
Annie.
In the past world, Mikasa did not remember loving Annie for a second. And yet, it was what she felt the world was pushing onto her. She did not want it.
Mikasa Ackerman did not live Annie Leonhardt. She was sure of it.