Ok, I realize I have no real idea what goes on around a ranch. Please forgive me for not being a real cowgirl. I would if I could though! … Brian twin! I'm sensing an epic adventure there!

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Zack was rudely awakened the next morning by someone crawling into his cab uninvited.

"Rise and shine Zack!"

Zack's systems booted up quickly as AJ slammed his door closed and rubbed her hands together trying to keep them warm in the early morning chill.

"What the pit do you think you're doing?! It isn't even light out!" Zack snapped grumpily, he wanted to get back to recharge.

"That's the whole point! We have a lot of work to do and we can't waste a moment of daylight."

"Oh no no no no no! I didn't sign up for work. Now if you'll kindly get lost I have a recharge cycle to get back to.… AHHH!! Hey what was that?!"

AJ turned her key in the ignition and Zack's engine roared to life, shattering the super early morning quiet.

"Hey hey hey! Knock that slag off!" Zack protested when AJ put him in drive and started pressing the gas pedal with her foot and the alien robot started moving forward slowly.

"Get moving!" AJ demanded. "We have chores to do!"

"NO!" Zack's brakes squealed as the pick up truck lurched to a hard stop. "I'm not done recharging so you go do YOUR chores YOURSELF!"

AJ glared at her truck's dashboard and stomped on the gas petal. The engine revved loudly but still didn't move.

"Zack this isn't a game! Get your tailpipe in gear!"

"I didn't come across light years of space and through countless galaxies to help you with chores. Get a tractor for that!"

"Old Zack WAS my tractor!" AJ snapped as she gave the steering wheel a hard jerk to the left and right. "You killed him so YOU have to take his place!"

"Not on your spark! That was an accident! You can't blame me!"

"Well if you want I can get my butt to Detroit and tell those other robots what a pain you are! Would you like that?"

Zack grumbled to himself. The last thing he wanted or needed right now was tipping off the Autobots that he was on Earth. They must know about the prison break by now and Zack was in no shape to take on a group of Autobots, no matter how untrained they might be.

"FINE! Whatever you energon sucking sharkitcon! I'll help with your slagging chores!"

"Don't complain! You just have to haul stuff around; I have to do the hard work!"

Begrudgingly, Zack let AJ "drive" him to whatever work she had planned for him and he was NOT looking forward to it. He hadn't escaped a maximum security prison, cheated death and didn't get killed by a mysterious angry fem to end up on a backwater organic mud ball to do a human's bidding.

The early morning hours where easy. AJ had to feed animals around the ranch which only required Zack to haul various types of "food" around in the bed of his new altmode. Around noon they had to pick up hay from out in the fields and bring it in to store in the barn. Which was then AJ realized that the last two stalls in the barn where crushed and old Zack was still laying there in ruins. She slightly panicked then when she realized that her parents might see the damage and quote; "freak out." Whatever that meant. New Zack proved to be quite useful besides just being a tractor. He easily lifted up the old pick up and got it out of the way. This let AJ have access to repair the stalls as best she could. While the human was occupied, Zack carefully hefted the hay bales up to the loft of the barn. Which considering his size was so easy it was nearly laughable. The only real problem was his claws. They kept cutting the string tied around the bales or slicing the hay in half, but after the first few tries he adapted and soon the razor sharp weapons were not a problem. With the most time consuming chore out of the way AJ decided to take a break from her repair work. The pair took a rest at the human's favorite spot. Down one of the ranch's tails, far away from her house, was a beautiful orchard of trees that would shade both of them if Zack sat down. The black pick up casually settled himself with his back to a particularly sturdy tree and relaxed as AJ snacked on her lunch.

"I thought you said I was going to have to work?" Zack drawled.

"That WAS work for some of us." AJ said through a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly.

"Huh. That wasn't so bad."

Zack offlined his red optics with a sigh. His cool metal claws moved lightly on the earth's surface scraping up organic dirt that actually felt rather enjoyable. A breeze rustled by and sent the leaves fluttering on their branches. The strange new noise was pleasant and soothing, and nearly lulled the black mech into recharge. Perhaps this planet wasn't so bad after all. Just as Zack was starting to nod off something appeared on the fringes of his scanners. It was small but moving fast. He amplified his audios in the direction the object was coming and there was definitely something coming their way.

"Do you hear that?" Zack asked quickly going to his personal red alert.

"Yeah…" AJ said as she put her hand to her ear. "It sounds like a motorcycle or something. That's weird… there's nothing out that way but sand and a new crater from your crash landing. OH SHIT! You don't think it's the government come to cover you up do you?!"

AJ jumped up and waved her arms at Zack.

"Move move move HIDE!! It's the Men in Black! They'll erase my memory and take you away!!"

"What are you babbling about?" Zack snorted.

"Just hide!" AJ ordered.

Confused at what "men in black" where Zack quickly disappeared deeper into the trees. A few moments later Zack could see that it was a human on a strange two wheeled vehicle; AJ had called it a "motorcycle," what an odd thing to call it. The human on the motorcycle slowed down when they saw AJ. They waved and came to a stop a few feet away from her.

"Hi!"

The motorcycle human killed the engine and took off its helmet. AJ was surprised to see that is was a girl. She didn't know men in black could be girls. The other looked a little older then her as she shook out her short black hair and dismounted the bike.

"You live around here?" The new girl asked.

"I… um… yes."

"Well hi!" The black haired girl said with a bright smile. "I'm Jess. Nice to meet you."

She extended her hand and AJ shook it rather confused. This wasn't how the MIB acted in the movies. Her blue-green eyes had no dark sunglasses coving them and she didn't wear a dark suit. In fact she was wearing pretty normal looking clothes.

"I'm… AJ."

"Well AJ, I've got a question for you. Maybe you can answer it for me. No one else seems too."

Jess set her black helmet down at her feet while Zack carefully watched her from the shadows of the trees.

"Do you know about that wicked looking crater?" Jess hooked a thumb over her shoulder. "Its a few miles that way, out in the middle of nowhere. About a mile long and pretty damn deep?"

"Oh… uh… yeah. A meteorite strike a couple of days ago. Big explosion. Saw it from the house. I was nowhere near it."

"Oh, well I was wondering, with you living nearby and all, if anything… strange… happened around the crater."

Zack's optics narrowed, this new human knew something about him. He didn't like it. How did she know about his landing and why was she looking for him? Who's side was she on?

"Umm… nothing like that! Nothing at all! I haven't been near the thing!"

"If you haven't been near it… umm… how would you know nothing strange has happened?"

"W-well!" AJ quickly back tracked. "I was just there a few hours ago! Nothing strange! Nope! Not at all!"

Jess gave AJ a skeptical look and bit her lower lip thinking.

"Nothing strange?" She seemed unconvinced.

"Nope! Nothing at all!"

"You know…" Jess said reaching into her pocket. "I have something you should see…"

"OH GOD!" AJ threw up her hands over her face. "Please don't Neuralyzer me! I won't tell anyone you're MIB!"

"MIB? As in Men in Black? Kid I think you watch too many movies."

Jess pulled something purple out of her pocket and presented it to AJ.

"Does this look familiar to you at all?"

AJ looked at the purple thing and found whatever it was looked like a face. It wasn't a very friendly looking face at all; it looked like it was glaring at her.

"DECEPTICON SYMPATHIZER!"

Jess and AJ both screamed as Zack roared and lunged out of his hiding spot. The big black mech quickly extended his claws and brought them down around the new human female that had the Decepticon insignia. Jess fell to the floor looking up at those red eyes absolutely terrified.

"Sweet JESUS cheese and crackers!" She yelped as she found herself in a very sharp prison.

Zack turned to AJ who was picking herself up and trying to scramble away.

"AJ! Get to safety! YOU!" He roared turning his attention back his captive. "Where did you get that!?"

"H-holy crap! It's you!" Jess said as she took a deep breath. "I've been looking for you!"

"You had better start talking human or you had better start praying to a higher power!"

Zack closed his finger claws closer together making Jess stand if she didn't want to be sliced open.

"Easy there big guy easy!" Jess yelled as she avoided the claws that were closing in on her. "I'm NOT a Decepticon sympathizer!"

"Then how did you get that insignia?!"

"Ahh! Hey watch my ride will ya!" Jess said motioning to the motorcycle that Zack's large foot was very close to stepping on.

"TALK human!" Zack snarled.

"Ok ok ok! Geeze! She never told me you'd been this mean!"

"She?" Zack snapped. "Whose "she?"

"Well if you'd give me a second to pick my heart up off the floor I'd tell you! Damn you just gave me a heart attack! Give a girl a second!"

With shaky hands Jess pulled another insignia out of her pocket, this one was red.

"There is that better?! I'm an AUTOBOT supporter! Hear me? AUTOBOT!"

Zack kept glaring and didn't release her. Jess huffed as she stuffed both insignias back into her jacket.

"Holy cow you are way more jumpy then I was lead to believe! And now that my heart is beating again, Wildfire sent me to get you ok? W-I-L-D-F-I-R-E!"

"I'm not deaf." Zack snorted.

"Well I'm sorry if I want to make sure you get all the facts right so we don't have to repeat this misunderstanding. Can you let me go now?"

Zack thought about it a moment and then finally retracted his claws. Jess sighed with a shoulder slump relieved to be alive.

"You scared ten years off my life!"

"I'll do more than that if you don't explain yourself!"

"Wait wait wait time out!" AJ interrupted holding up her hands in a "T" shape. "You know ANOTHER alien robot?"

"I sure do!" Jess told her, happy to be dealing with someone her own size.

"Why isn't Wildfire here herself?" Zack snapped.

"Geeze! Relax!" Jess said calmly. "She would have but she's getting her wings patched up. She sent me instead to get you up to speed on Earth, but it looks like you've already found someone for that. Thanks for talking care of him for me AJ."

Zack grumbled something about being abused and not needing a human to take care of him.

"No problem! It was fun! So tell me, what are the other robots like?"

"PISH!" Jess snorted as she put her hands on her hips. "Which one? All six of them are a pain in my butt. Not to mention the Dino-bots! You won't think it but they all get themselves in so much trouble! Never a minute's peace!"

"WHOA! There are six of them?! What are Dino-bots?! Are those like DINOSAUR ROBOTS?!"

"Well I have seven counting this guy here." Jess casually pointed over her shoulder at Zack. "Not counting the Dinobots. Oh. Sorry. I didn't catch your name there big guy what with the heart attack and all."

"Zack! He's name is Zack!" AJ said brightly, happy to fill in the stranger.

"Zack?" Jess cocked an eyebrow at the Cybertronian.

"Long story," Zack grumbled. "Don't ask."

"Well… Zack… it's nice to finally meet you. I'm Jess. Well Jessy, but call me Jess."

Jess extended her hand towards the large robot. Zack was excited that he knew the human custom she was offering. With a better understanding of the ritual this time around Zack carefully extended a single claw for Jess to shake.

"I'm Zack."

"Jess, Zack. Zack, Jess." AJ formally introduced. "Now let's hear about those other robots!"

Jess leaned up against a tree and began her story. Wildfire hadn't told her how much Zack knew about the events on Earth so she started at the very beginning. AJ sat enchanted with her head in her hands listing intently. Zack kept one audio on the story and one listing for a sign of Wildfire, or Primus forbid, the Decepticons. Jess explained things as best she could for AJ, like the "Great Wars," the All Spark, Autobots Decepticons and how a rag tag repair crew ended up on Earth fifty years ago. She told them all about Megatron, Starscream and his clones (which is who Zack guessed had shot them down) and all the other events in-between leading up to the resent space bridge fiasco and losing Blurr and Omega Supreme to some random point in space. Zack optics blinked nervously. He was one of the very, very few survivors of the enormous mech and he was not eager to see the death machine again. Thank everything holy that he was gone for good.

"And that's about all I know. After the space bridge exploded Wildfire told me to lay low back home in California while she went to get something. I just didn't know that something was going to be you." Jess said looking up at Zack.

"Well neither did I." Zack corrected.

"Ok ok, so you told me about all the bots in Detroit, but you haven't told me anything about your Wildfire! What's she like?"

"Hmm… well," Jess said tapping her chin in thought. "She's… different from the other bots and…"

"A homicidal, anger issue ridden, sick, twisted, sadistic psychopath?" Zack offered.

"Well I was going to say wicked badass."

"Until she drops you into a star and leaves you to die…" Zack mumbled to himself.

"What was that?" AJ asked.

"Nothing."

"It's hard to explain Wildfire; I'll let her make a first impression when she gets here."

"Should I be worried?" AJ inquired after that little bit of information from Zack.

"Nothing to worry about, Fire loves humans. She'll definitely be excided to meet you too so…" Jess said looking up at the sky and the sun sinking towards the horizon. "How about I meet you guys here tomorrow at three-ish?"

"If Zack helps me with my chores again like today that shouldn't be a problem." AJ concurred. "But… do you have a place to stay? If you need you can stay in the barn with Zack."

Jess looked up at Zack who looked back down at her.

"No it's ok. I've got a place where I'll less likely be squished on accident."

"What do you mean I'M staying in the barn?" Zack snapped.

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Zack found out later why he was staying in the barn. A rainstorm washed over the plains of Texas that night. Zack stayed nice and dry in his new home. AJ had assured him over and over that rain on Earth was harmless (though she failed to tell him about hail). The soft pattering on the roof made a nice melody to fall in to recharge too as Zack turned off his systems.

Morning came swiftly and brought new discoveries with it. First of which was mud, a discovery Zack was not fond of. Dirt plus water did not equal a happy Zack. The mud got caught in his tire treds and got kicked up under his wheel wells. Now he was going to have to find a way to get a wash on a planet with no wash racks. The next discovery was how green everything was and how clean the air seemed. Plants that looked terminated yesterday where fully back online and green. The air was crisp and clean in his intakes which he thanked both Primus AND the Allspark for. The amount of dirt in the atmosphere was possessor freezing and his air filter was getting clogged. The animals even smelled better to his olfactory sensors, he guessed the rain had washed them. Good. They smelled horrible.

The mud did make chores more time consuming. At one point Zack got his back tires stuck in a puddle of the sticky substance and made AJ swear that she would never speak of that humiliation again. AJ was still giggling every time Zack went out of his way to avoid deep looking puddles. A little after the three o'clock meeting time Zack and AJ where going slowly to avoid splashing mud more than they already had on their way back to the grove of trees. Jess was already waiting for them when the meeting spot came into view. AJ let out a whistle when she saw what the dark haired stranger was leaning on.

"Holy crap!" AJ said out loud. "That's a classic Mustang! Oh man, those haven't been around for YEARS! I've never seen one in person before!"

Zack came to a stop and AJ very nearly leapt from the driver's seat. Jess smiled and gave a little wave. AJ came to a stop before the sports car and gaped like it was something holy. Its red body glittered in the sunlight and the black flames shone like shear perfection.

"Where did you find a car like this?!"

"I've had her a while." Jess gave the car's hood a good pat.

Jess then smiled a sly little smile and pushed herself off the car as she waved AJ closer.

"The paint is like glass. Go on and get a closer look."

AJ held her breath and stepped up to the car.

"I've never touched a classic car before!" She breathed. "Can I?"

"Of course."

AJ held back a squeal of excitement as she laid her hands on the incredibly expensive, incredibly rare car. Jess wasn't lying. The paint WAS like glass.

"Beautiful!" AJ breathed.

"Thanks. You're not so bad yourself."

AJ jumped back startled as the car spoke with a similar electronic voice as Zack. Before the human could ask "what was that?!" the sports car before her transformed. Doors shifted and the chassis split at several points. Gears and joints changed and moved. They rearranged themselves into a bipedal robot. Zack transformed as well out of shear instinct.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that." Jess smirked.

Zack watched as the other Cybertronion stood. Her battle mask retracted as well as the red visor to reveal a pair of piecing blue optics. It was the same fem that had sprung him from the prison asteroid. Wildfire knelt down in front of a still stunned AJ.

"So Jess tells me you're the one who took care of my friend for me, you have my thanks."

Wildfire was the one to hold out her hand for AJ to shake.

"S-sure. No problem. Zack, you didn't tell me your girlfriend was so cool looking!"

Wildfire gave the black mech a confused look. Zack shot back a "don't ask" glare in response.

"She's NOT my "girlfriend." Zack spat.

"Whoa, touchy much Zack?" AJ asked.

Zack shook his head. This was not going to end well for him. It never ended well for a mech if they were surrounded by fems.

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And yes, it never ends well for Zack…

Well all the players have met! Now the GOOD parts begins!

Holy shit… I was just thinking as I finish editing this… AJ just totally violated Zack twice!! Once with the crawling inside him against his will. That's rape. And then she shoves her key in his ignition?! That's rape two! OH HOLY CRAP! Driving a car = RAPE!!