"This time we have to make sure our pairing isn't cute or sexy at all" Proclaimed Kim. Becca looked slightly disappointed but nodded. "The point of this story is hilarious crack pairings but we keep making the weird pairings adorable and it needs to stop."
"Ok." Becca pondered, "What is a pairing that is in no way cute, sexy or even vaguely normal?"
"I was thinking that we should write about Near next because we just wrote about Mello." Kim stretched and flexed her fingers of the keyboard of the laptop.
"Who would be disturbing with Near? Oh! Oh! I've got it! Ryuk!"
"Becca, this is why we're friends."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once upon a time there was a boy and a death god. The boy was very smart and the death god liked the boy because he was interesting. They went on many adventures. Then one day the boy died.
The death god was bored without the boy. There was nothing fun to do.
So the death god found the man who had killed his boy. He asked him,
"Why did you kill my boy, man?"
The man said,
"I did it because he was trying to kill my friends."
So the death god went to one of the man's friends and he asked,
"Why did my boy try to kill you?"
And the man's friend said,
"Because we were working for the detective."
So the death god went looking for the detective. The detective was very mysterious and hard to find so the death god asked the people he met if they knew the detective. None of the people knew the detective until one said,
"The detective lives in that big house over there."
So the death go went to the big house. The big house was full of children so he asked one of the children,
"Have you seen the detective?"
And the child said,
"He is there." And the child pointed to another boy who sat alone wearing white. The death god talked to the boy detective and he asked,
"Why did you kill my boy?"
The boy detective said,
"Because that is what I do." And the death god decided that this was a very interesting job that would not be boring at all.
So the death god stayed with the boy detective whose job was not boring. The boy detective was very smart and the death god liked the boy because he was interesting.
The boy detective was very lonely. The boy had no mother or father or friends. But the death god was the boy's friend. The death god always stayed with the boy.
Years past and the boy turned into a man. The man turned into an old man. The death god still remained with the boy.
Sometimes the death god missed his old boy. He missed how that boy would get angry or get scared. But this new boy was more like him. He did not get scared or angry, he was just interested. And this boy had more apples.
One day when the boy was a very old man he became very sick. The boy said to the death god,
"I am not interesting anymore." And the death god knew that the boy-who-was-an-old-man was going to die and then the death god would have to be lonely. They were both very lonely.
When the boy-who-was-old died the death god was very sad. He knew that he would live forever and never see his boy again. He knew he would be bored forever. He did not want to live forever. The death god was so sad he began to cry.
When the death god cried for his boy a miracle occurred. The old man was no more and the death god saw his boy standing before him.
"We are what is left behind." Said the boy-who-was-no-longer-an-old-man, "We are the ones who remember." And the boy took the death god's hand and together they walked away off of the world and into the sky.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We are so sick." Becca stared at the screen. "What is wrong with us?"
"How was that not intensely creepy?" Kim wondered aloud.
"It was, somehow it just sounded really sweet." Becca's eyes shone.
"This is a strange and wonderful power." Said Kim with an eager energy growing in her stomach. More needed to be written.