Before I start with the funnies I want to apologize. I haven't been replying to a few reviews lately because something's wrong with the link. I click on it and it said 'cant be found' or something like that. Pfft. So for that I'm sorry but that wont stop me from thanking you here. So before we begin I want to thank: Binary and Trance, tarkatan, The NinjaVampire, Paritheikae, and Midnight Shadow Girl. Thank you guys! Now we can begin with the funnies. :-D
"Buggies? Why are there so many?" Scorpion demanded.
"People use them to put their purchased items in…we cant carry everything." Connie said while walking. "Come on, what are you waiting for?"
The characters reluctantly followed but remained defensive since they had no clue what to expect.
"So many people." One of them noted.
"Crap." Nick said when he walked in. "They changed it around again, I hate when they do that."
"They even moved the bathrooms." Connie pointed to the restroom area which was right near the entrance.
"Is there a problem Nicholas Hale?" Raiden asked.
"Yes…you keep calling me by my full name." he grunted. "Nah, it's just that it's not the same as it was; they rearranged everything again."
"Can we still get the tv?" Ermac questioned.
"Yes…but we have to find where they are now." Nick declared. "So, I got a plan; we'll split up. Half of you go with me and the other half with my sister."
Connie shot him a look. "Why? All we have to do is ask somebody."
Nick waved her comment off. "This is more fun. So I'll take-
"Kitana, Sonya, Jade and probably Raiden." Connie finished his sentence.
Nick grinned. "How'd you guess? Don't worry I've decided to take Ermac too…and you get everyone else."
She rolled her eyes. "How thoughtful of you. Hey…wait a minute will you? I have to use the bathroom really quick." She said as she headed in the restroom direction.
"Oh? Is someone conster-pated?" Nick bursted out laughing.
This time Connie refused to spare him immense pain. She kicked him between the legs hard.
"AHH!" he cried in pain and fell to the ground. "…my spaghetti and meatballs."
"I warned you, it's your own fault you big baboon." She growled and went into the bathroom.
The characters watched him struggle to get up, some of them laughed so hard they cried. The one that was laughing the hardest though was Johnny Cage.
Nick struggled to get up. "This is your fault."
Johnny looked baffled. "Mine fault?"
"Yeah…she's picking up your bad habits."
Johnny started laughing again. "Actually I punch, not kick."
"Right, about that…" Nick frowned. "please explain to me how a grown man does a split without hurting himself and holds that position long enough to punch someone and break bones that aren't even there. Please explain."
Johnny shrugged. "Easy…like this."
He proceeded to do the move on Nick. This time Nick did not cry out because it hurt to bad but he did fall again.
Scorpion, Lu Kang, and Jax started laughing again. Raiden just stared at Nick until he teleported somewhere else. Ermac watched Nick suffer too until Sub Zero started to leave and he followed. Lu Kang and Kung Lao decided to go on their own quest. The girls took pleasure in Nick's pain but for only a few minutes, then they began feeling bad. Eventually they chastised the guys and left. Scorpion immediately left when he saw the bus driver walking in and when the bus driver saw him he took off running. Jax grew tired of standing there so he went in search of Sonya as did Johnny. Smoke, the last one there, eventually just walked off on his own.
When Connie walked back and saw Nick still on the floor she sucked her teeth.
"I didn't kick you that hard. Get up you big baby." She claimed and then looked around. "Uh…where is everybody?"
Nick struggled to get up once more. "They left…and it was a good thing to; if they were still here I'd mali-whoop them."
"We have to find them." Connie said.
"GET OVER HERE!" Scorpions voice could be heard from the left side of the store.
"FOR THE SHOALIN!" Kung Lao's voice could be heard from the other side.
"I'll go this way." Connie started in the direction of Kung Lao's voice.
"Dang…are you sure? Scorpions just a little too angry for me." But Connie was already gone.
Nick headed in the direction but he was in no hurry. He walked for a few minutes and went past the men's clothing. When he was in the women's section he saw a bunch of women staring at somebody. Nick assumed it was Scorpion and he was surprised to see Ermac and Sub Zero…trying on clothes.
"Their staring again Sub Zero." Ermac growled.
"It's because their jealous." Sub Zero claimed.
Nick ran over to them and his eyes bulged out of his head when he saw Ermac in a pink bra and pink mini skirt. Sub Zero was wearing some skinny jeans and he was bursting through the seams.
"Are you guys out of you fire-trucking mind?" he hissed. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Trying on clothes." Ermac said and then made an orange shirt fLaot over to Nick. "This would look nice on you."
Nick snatched it and threw it on the ground. "No it wouldn't! Are you aware that these are female clothes?"
"How do I look?" Sub Zero ignored his question.
Nick facepalmed. "Disturbing and loony, now get out of those clothes before security comes."
"What is security going to do? They cant touch us."
Nick sighed. "Remember our little chat? How to act at Wal-Mart? Yeah…this is not normal!"
"Yes…normal people try on clothes. We were just following the women's example." Sub Zero explained.
"What? Why not follow the guys' example? Look…I'll get you clothes if that's what you want…but you have to get out of those." He pointed to their absurd attire.
"Anything?" Ermac asked clutching some socks with kittens on them.
Nick growled and slapped the socks out of his hands. "Yes…if it's jeans you want, jeans you get. Baggy jeans…ripped jeans…jeans with chains…I don't care, just not skinny jeans!"
"Their whispering." Ermac grew frustrated as he watched the women staring at them.
"No!" Nick jumped in front of him. "No more breaking peoples hips…even though that was hilarious." He chuckled to himself.
"Fine." Sub Zero said and ripped off the skinny jeans.
Nick stared at him. "Question…how did you even get into those?"
Ermac ripped his attire off too and threw the ripped articles of clothing on the ground.
"Wow…you guys are aware that this stuff is not free right?" Nick asked.
"Here comes security now." A woman said louder than intended.
Surprisingly Lu Kang walked up with a security guard suit on. "What seems to be the problem?"
Nick looked him up and down. "Uh…Lu Kang? What are you doing?"
"I was called over here to handle a situation but I don't see a problem. Was there a fight?" he asked casually.
"Why are you dressed like that?" Ermac asked.
"Oh, I'm the new security guard." He explained. "My boss said just a temp, whatever that is."
"They offered you a job? Are you serious? I've been applying here for months!" Nick yelled angrily.
"What'd you take the offer for? We shouldn't be here long." Sub Zero said.
"They said this was normal…and were supposed to act normal at Wal-Mart, right Nick?" Lu Kang said.
"…yeah, but not that normal. We don't have time for you to be working; after we get the tv were out of here."
"Well you'll have to pick me up after work."
"Lu Kang if you're not with us when we leave then that's your lost because I'm not coming back here."
"You're a chump." Lu Kang mumbled. "Get this place cleaned up and be gone."
"What? Did I just hear you say chump?" Nick got into his fighting position "Bring it on Lu Kang, I'm going to choke slam you!"
"Is that a threat?" Lu Kang grinned. "Guards we have a 406 code red, back up immediately Three suspects are threatening me."
Nick stood still for a moment and then pushed Ermac and Sub Zero. "Run!"
Lu Kang didn't pursue them, he just grinned and watched them run. Sub Zero and Ermac followed Nick as he ran into a different section.
Meanwhile Connie found Kung Lao in the fruit sectiom but she was baffled when she saw the situation. Kung Lao was in a circle of swooning girls and he was grinning like Nick.
"You wanna see a trick?" he asked.
The girls nodded in unison.
Kung Lao stepped out of the circle and grabbed a cantaloupe out of the big bin. He then threw it up in the air and in the next second threw his hat. Kung Lao's hat sliced through it two times but you could barely see it. Then, after catching the hat, he threw it on the ground on its side so that it rolled. It cut through the fruit just as it hit the floor. In the end the fruit split into 6 even pieces.
"Anybody want any fruit?" he walked over and picked the cantaloupe up along with his hat.
"Wow." The girls said in unison again.
"What is really going on here?" Connie asked after a few seconds. "Alright, scram! Get out of here you little bimbos! Shoo!"
The girls quickly dispersed as they saw the fury in Connie's eyes. Kung Lao ate some of his fruit and walked over to her.
"What's wrong Conster-pated?" he asked as he put his arm around her shoulders. "I'm just chilling with some beautiful girls."
"…what did you just call me?" She did a double take at him.
He let her go. "Want some fruit babe?"
"Babe?" She shook her head and took a step back. "Uh, Kung Lao, yeah, I think you're taking this normal thing a little too far."
He shrugged. "I don't…you guys told us to be normal and showed us how and now I'm doing it."
"My brother is a nitwit, be yourself."
"I would but…This Is Sparta!" he yelled.
Connie facepalmed but before she said anything else she noticed Smoke heading towards them. A little girl was following him and Smoke didn't look like he was happy about it.
"Why?" the little girl asked for the umpteenth time.
"My hair is white because of stress…and it's people like you that stress me out!" Smoke shouted and walked faster.
The little girl picked up her pace as well. "Why?"
"Because you wont shut up."
"Why?"
"Because you have a problem," he growled and shook his fist "but I have the solution."
"Smoke what are you doing?" Connie asked when he got close enough.
"I was trying to find you and your brother but in the process this girl wouldn't leave me alone."
"Why?" she asked again.
Smoke threw his hands up. "I cant take it anymore!" He put his hands on her and shook/vibrated really fast until she flew back.
Connie was shocked. "Oh my-
"Goofy goobers?" Kung Lao finished her sentence.
Out of habit she punched him and then hissed. "Smoke you cant do that!"
"Why?" he mimicked the little girl and then laughed.
"No you didn't just push my daughter!" A woman yelled.
"That's why." Kung Lao said.
Smoke turned around and then instantly got beat repeatedly by the woman with her purse.
"I hate you! I hate you! How dare you hit her! You look just like my ex-husband, Josh!"
"What?" Smoke shouted.
Just then Lu Kang came up in his security guard suit. He grabbed the woman and pulled her off of Smoke.
"That's enough, break it up." He demanded. "Go on about your business lady or else."
She put up a struggle. "We had 4 wonderful years Josh, 4! How can you just cheat on me? Is that the hussy? I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you!"
Connie started for her. "What did you call me?"
Lu Kang pushed Connie back and then the lady. "I said go. Do you want me to bring you in?"
She glared at all of them and then pointed at Smoke. "Josh…I'll get you."
"I'm not your ex-husband!" he yelled.
The lady left and Smoke dusted himself off. Kung Lao was still laughing and Connie sighed. Lu Kang crossed his arms.
"Lu Kang…why does your shirt say Wal-Mart Security?" Connie asked after analyzing him and his attire.
"I thought it'd be obvious; I work here."
"How?" Connie asked, baffled.
"They offered me a job and I took it."
"Dang, I've been applying here for a while." She sighed. "What would make you take the job? We have to go soon."
"I'll tell you the same thing I told your brother, I'm trying to be normal."
"Normal, that's whats up!" Kung Lao held his hand up for a high five.
Lu Kang just stared at his hand and watched Kung Lao let it drop to his side.
"You know where my brother is? Take us to him; after we find everyone we need to get out of here."
Lu Kang shook his head. "Find him yourself, I don't get off until 8."
Connie snapped her head at him. "What? Lu Kang we don't have time to play games."
"I'm not playing." He spoke and then headed in his own direction.
Connie was baffled and unable to speak for a few seconds. Then she sighed and grabbed Kung Lao's arm.
"Come on. I don't have the patience to deal with him now; we'll find him later."
They headed deeper into the food aisles. Meanwhile Nick had just entered the music section and spotted Kitana poking curiously at a set of headphones plugged up.
"Hey Kitana, what are you doing?" Nick strolled over to her, forgetting about Sub Zero and Ermac who were still following him.
"It's talking…and it's very angry; it's screaming about something." She said.
Nick laughed. "No, those are just headphones, they allow you to listen to music.
"Oh." Kitana said but she didn't really understand. "This music is angry?"
Nick listened to the music for a few seconds. "No I think it's heavy metal or something…I don't listen to it often…it makes me feel like I'm dying."
Kitana nodded and listened to it more until Nick changed the station.
"It changed." She noted.
"Yeah, I changed it to country." Nick told her. "I don't listen to that either…it makes me feel like I'm dying slowly."
Kitana gave him a strange look but then changed the station herself.
"What is this?"
"Rap/Hip-Hop…it makes me feel like I'm dying quickly."
Nick changed it again before Kitana could speak. It stopped on a station that had songs in a different language.
Kitana scrunched up her face. "What are they saying?"
Nick shrugged. "I don't know, I think it's in Chinese…I don't listen to it…it makes me feel like I'm dying crazily."
"Does everything make you feel like you're dying?" Kitana finally asked.
Nick laughed. "Nah, I'm just talking. I do that sometimes, half the time I don't even know what I'm talking about." He changed the station again. "This is…my jam!"
Without warning Nick took a step back and began dancing and singing. "All my Single Ladies! All my Single Ladies! If you like it then you should've put a ring on it!" Nick began doing moves that belonged on a pole and Kitana, Ermac, and Sub Zero watched him like he belonged in an asylum.
"I could care less what you think! I'm up on him, he's up on me, don't pay him any attention!"
"I TOLD YOU THAT YOU'D RUE THE DAY YOU MESSED WITH SCORPION!"
Nick stopped immediately. "Uh-oh…I'll be back. Stay here."
With that Nick ran off to find the spectra but as he entered the shoe department he saw Sonya and Jade trying them on.
"Girls and shoes…I just don't get it." He said as he walked over to them. "How are my 2 lovely brides-to-be doing?"
Sonya ignored his question and quickly turned to him with huge disco shoes on. "How do I look?"
Nick watched her as she tried to keep from falling. "Hmm…they're not your type…but you know what? Shoes and clothes are so out of style in my world…I say we should all just strip down and be free."
Jade sucked her teeth. "I say you should think again. We may not be from this world Nicholas Hale but were not stupid."
Nick began tugging at his hair again. "What is so hard about saying Nick? Is it the Ni…or the ick?"
"NOW I HAVE YOU!"
Nick looked at them. "I expect an answer when I come back."
"Where are you going?"
"To get that spectra that burned my floor." Nick grumbled. "Can I have a hug before I go?"
"No." Jade said immediately.
Nick nodded. "I see how you want to act but it wont be for long…everybody loves the Nick." He turned to Sonya. "And you babe? I can have a hug right?"
"You can hug me…I cant promise that when the embrace ends you'll still have all your limbs…but you can hug me if you want."
"…unfortunately I need my arms and legs so I'll pass on the hug. Stay here though, I'll be back."
With that Nick was off. As he ran he soon found himself in the sports section. Near the baseballs stood Scorpion a few feet from the bus driver hiding behind a security guard. (Not Lu Kang this time)
Out of breath Nick asked but trailed off. "Scorpion what are you…"
"Taste my spear mortal, I told you that you'd rue the day."
"See! I told you he was trying to kill me! Help, please!" he urged the guard.
The guard looked Scorpion up and down. "Nah, you're just paranoid. He looks like he just wants to talk."
"Yeah, with his fists!"
The security guard shook his head. "Like I said, paranoid."
Scorpion took a step closer. "Move out of my way and I will spare your life." He said to the guard.
"See?" The bus driver asked the guard but he was staring at the baseball gloves.
Nick jumped in front of Scorpion. "Okay, remember our normal talk?"
"I have no interest in nagging and or hitting on them Nicholas Hale."
"No…no, me neither." He said "Look, I'm trying to help you guys out by spending my parents hard earned money and this is how you repay me? The least you could do is not kill people."
Nick made the puppy dog eyes. Scorpion stared at Nick for a few seconds…and then pushed him out the way and proceeded to bring Hell fire up and burn the bus driver.
"Ah! Oh! Help! AHH!" he cried.
"Hey are you dancing?" the security guard asked. "You're pretty good. Is that tap dancing or the latest hip hop move?"
"I'm not-ow!-dancing-yah!-I'm jumping-ah!-do you not see the fire?" the bus driver yelled.
Nick facepalmed. "I see the guilt trick doesn't work on you…looks like we'll have to do things the hard way." He cleared his throat. "Oh my goofy goobers! Is that Sub Zero behind you mocking your every move?"
"I will kill that Lin Kuei!" he spun around…but there was nobody behind him.
"Hand me that please." Scorpion heard Nick say.
He spun back around to face Nick but was greeted with a blow to the head.
"Batters up!" Nick yelled before he clocked him with the bat.
Scorpion fell back and hit the floor. The bus driver stood in awe but the guard wasn't paying attention. Nick put the bat back and then grabbed Scorpion.
"Sorry about that…he has anger issues…have a good day." Nick said and then struggled to drag Scorpion away.
"Did you just see that?"
The guard turned around to face the bus driver. "Nah, what happened? Were you dancing again?"
I know…a sucky place to end the chapter but it was getting a little long and I was getting a little impatient. This chapter didn't seem as funny to me…if you feel the same way sorry; my teachers are beating the life out of me with the homework. They wait until the end of the year to triple the load. –rolls eyes- Anyway read and review! I want to know your thoughts! Good or bad…but preferably good!