This chapter earns the M rating, for what I'm going to call 'attempted (mind)rape.' Mmm... it's less squicky than the implications of old-style vampire fiction?

The game series doesn't go into what it's like for Zero to be the source of the virus, and then finding out that he has to go into hibernation, or else curing the virus outside him will do nothing, he'll just infect another poor Sigma. The evil that he tries to destroy lurks inside him, and he can't destroy it, not even by letting himself be destroyed.

His body isn't his, it's a vessel for someone else's will, a will that seeks to destroy everything Zero cares about. Who knows when it will take his mind away from him as well? Think about what that would do to anyone, but especially someone like Zero, who has made it his purpose to kill mavericks, who has watched countless people suffer and die (including Iris) because of what he was made, because of what was done to him and his body before he was even turned on. Consider that level of violation.

While the intent of the programming was to violate X on that level, thankfully it didn't work, and the various psychological and social things that make sexual assault so devastating a way to permanently damage humans don't apply to reploids.

And thus, the world was saved, yet despite orders it wasn't long before enough 'slips' were made with the intercom on, when X wasn't there, for Zero to put two and two together and demand the truth from someone more than happy to give it to him.

Which left X to do damage control, after being woken from a sound sleep after a very, very long shift. Virus research was urgent, but just because he could work several days without actually sleeping didn't mean it was a good idea for him to do that. It took a long time for it to cause him to slip up, but they needed to figure this out and he did his best thinking in dreams.

So he wasn't exactly pleased to be woken up from one of those dreams, that fled as soon as he was given the news, and have to pull on his armor (they wouldn't allow him into Zero's containment unarmed) and teleport to base.

Really, he was grateful that disciplining the hunter who had told Zero this and the doctor who should have told him to shut up was going to be left to Sigma, because otherwise X would have given them a piece of his mind and he tried not to yield to those impulses. Whenever he got really angry at someone he was always left speechless for awhile, practically resorting to name-calling if he could get anything out at all, but when it had time to simmer, like while he was fumbling around trying to avoid waking up Dr. Cain in the next room, he had time to think up things to say, which he would then regret.

Zero had sprouted wings somehow, another mysterious capability for the list. A capability Case Zero didn't know about and hadn't used, thankfully. They weren't even built into the armor, since they'd disarmed Zero, or tried to. Apparently, like the claws, he could use them without it. When he arrived, X saw that Zero had pushed the left side of one of the cabinets away from the wall so that it was at an angle to it, creating a triangle that couldn't be seen from the observation room. X didn't know if Zero knew there were cameras watching from other angles. Perhaps he'd guessed and just wasn't thinking about it right now, or the cover wasn't to keep them from seeing Zero but to keep Zero from seeing them and the hatred there must have been in that hunter's eyes.

The wings made an effective barricade, at least psychologically. X couldn't see any part of Zero but them, the way they were wrapped around him, making him theoretically protected by walls on all sides.

Actually, it was no defense at all. The cabinets weren't especially sturdy for just this reason, and a charged shot would probably go right through the wings, if not for long. Zero self-repaired key areas fast, and when someone was airborne, wings were obviously vital.

"Zero, I know I've said this before, but it isn't your fault." No answer. X wondered why he'd expected one, really. "Yes, it was your body, and you feel you should have had more self control." The reasons Zero argued that it was All His Fault, among a few others.

It was too early in the… afternoon, technically, for this. Why couldn't they have done this to Zero at night? Zero was a bit more awake then, and X was effectively a night owl too, at the moment.

Frankly, he wasn't awake enough to argue with Zero, and Zero was probably in no state to be argued with, so X just gave up and decided to take the direct approach. "Zero? Let me in."

The wings twitched.

"Let me in," X repeated, letting just a little edge slip out. He'd already chosen the easy way to handle this, and he really didn't need Zero to make things difficult.

The wings opened, and X saw Zero kneeling there, back against the angle formed by the wall and cabinet. He went in and crouched down, allowing the wings to close back around him, like automatic doors. There was light in here, both from the top and the odd almost track-lighting striped on Zero's wings. X really did wonder why Zero's wings were… bioluminescent, effectively, since Zero was a living thing. It seemed an odd design choice.

But that wasn't why he was here. He was here to crouch down, finding a way to be comfortable sort of half on and half off Zero's lap, and wrap his arms around him.

It said something about Zero's programming, as well as emotional state, that Zero didn't argue. Zero, by personality, wasn't a touchy-feely person, and he was obviously afraid of getting close to others, in case he killed them and turned them into a zombie. Yet he leaned his head against X's shoulder and pulled his wings in a little tighter, as if to hold him here, instead of pushing him away, even if it was a few long seconds before his own arms crept up to wrap around X.

Alright.

Now, since there were no further objections, he was going back to sleep, and so was Zero if he knew what was good for him.

Actually, X liked sleeping. True, he had been in that capsule for a century, and he might have gotten sick of it after three times as long as he was supposed to be in there, but Dr. Light had taken great care in programming everything. It had simply been a very nice, very long dream. Timeless.

The first time he'd woken up had been very surprising, but he'd also met Dr. Cain and made his first friend. He'd met other people for the first time, begun to explore this world.

So waking up was also a wonderful thing. Lying there writing down notes or reading, in the sunlight that came in through his window. If he left it long enough, the patch of sunlight would spread to cover the entire futon he used at the house that had been built in Japan, near the site of Dr. Light's lab. It was extremely nice, with a good book or some research material, and he could even do a conference call without getting up out of the sun, if it was Dr. Cain or he turned the video off. Unlike his brother Rock, he wasn't solar-powered, but thinking that maybe Rock had spent mornings like this too sometimes was nice. It made him feel a little more connected to his family.

The first time X woke up, he wasn't alone. Dr. Cain had been standing over the capsule, hovering in case he needed help getting up.

This was only the second time he'd woken up with someone actually holding him. The second time he'd woken up with Zero holding him, specifically. And this time he hadn't fallen asleep knowing that zombies were staring at him hungrily and he might get eaten in his sleep.

It was a very nice thing, he decided, to wake up with someone there. Knowing that he hadn't been alone the entire time. The way he'd woken up the first time to discover that all of his family was dead. There had been no one watching over him, over the capsule.

According to his internal clock, it was thirty minutes before sunset, which was time to get ready these days. Stirring in Zero's arms, testing Zero's willingness to let go and what his odds were of slipping out without waking Zero up (but that wasn't fair, really. Zero should get to wake up like this) got a response from the sleeping… vampire.

X had to use the word, really. The fangs, the body clock, the bat wings. There was really no way around it.

The way Zero nuzzled at X's neck in his sleep was kind of cute. The first meal of the night was the most important for Zero, and tended to determine his mood for the rest of the evening. The longer it took him to become sated, the higher the threat level, perhaps? Even if it was a few days before he was in any danger of starting to lose track of reality and, judging from last time, a week before he lost it, although obviously no one was going to risk that.

The entire thing made him think of breakfast in bed, really. It was a pity Zero couldn't get out and meet people, because it really was very cute and there were people who liked the idea of vampires.

X was entirely unsurprised that, after a bit of nuzzling, when X pressed his neck against Zero's mouth a bit, giving permission, Zero's fangs slid in.

The way Zero purred was still very cute…

Oh.

My.

This was the first time X had let Zero actually bite since he had returned. He'd reported on the mental effects, obviously, but there were plenty of other tests to run before he opened that kettle of worms. If X had thought all this through he wouldn't have decided why not, since the mission was to keep Zero from being too depressed and feeding the way he was meant to feed could only help, but then he'd given himself permission to stop thinking and, well, it was a lazy warm morning, wrapped in wings instead of sheets. He was simply too comfortable to boot up quickly or be properly paranoid.

This time, there was no paralyzing disorientation: X blamed that on some venom in the hair, if not the virus itself.

This time, it wasn't the status system that got cracked. X had expected that same 'this is really nice' feeling. It would have fit well with the entire good morning theme. Hopefully Zero would have thought it was an especially nice way to start the day too, and would have been too busy trying to figure out what the hell X thought he was doing, given what Zero was and the whole situation, to focus on guilt tripping.

So he would have had Zero in a good mood and thoroughly off-balance. And Sigma thought 'Dad' had no tactical sense… Really. He might not be his famous older brother, but he wasn't completely helpless.

Except this was… unexpected.

Maybe the other sensation was for prey, and this was for people who Zero happened to find in his bed?

Not that they were actually in a bed. Or that reploids usually did this in a bed, anyway. Sheets tore and mattresses were too easy to kick through. Yes, having sex in the traditional human style (or as close as reploids could come, anyway) was probably a good way to rack up thousands of zenny in bills for the replacement furniture, if people were enthusiastic about it.

Not that X was in a position to move, much less writhe, when his sexual system was suddenly switched on, no, kicked into high gear. He really wasn't in a position to do more than gasp for breath, coolant system suddenly entirely inadequate.

Gasps turned to panting, but he vetoed anything that might sound like soft moans as his body brushed the dust off an unused system and the strain decreased. The pleasure didn't, no: X's arms and legs tightened around Zero as he took another slow swallow and there was nothing to do but push against those fangs and hold on for dear life, dimly wondering if Zero's creator had read the kind of trashy vampire romance novels mentioned in the book on vampires X had dug up looking for clues to either Zero's condition or his creator's psychology. Because this was very, very nice, but also cliché and excessive.

Very, very excessive… Also very, very good, but Zero was probably going to hate himself and Sigma was going to kill him. X, not Zero, for getting himself in this position.

Although it was a little hard to regret anything but the fact he was wearing his armor, so Zero's arms weren't actually touching his skin, and he knew the wings would be far more velvety if armor didn't lower tactile sensitivity drastically so people didn't feel too much pain when they were shot.

The cracked system was producing all sorts of… just pleasure, inside his head, registered as phantom touches to places no one could actually touch, but Zero's tongue was sort of licking at his neck, the fangs were a piercing delight, and there could have been cool velvet caressing his back, warm arms around him, a strong body… if not for these barriers.

He really hadn't thought he was capable of moving, of doing anything with his arms but clutching at Zero's back, that shift bunched up in his fingers, but he found himself clumsily undoing his armor catches. Closer. More open. That was the purpose of this one, in the same way the other one told the victim to just relax instead of struggling. That one made them hold still, this one…

If X was anyone else, if he wasn't so perfectly aware of everything that was going on in his mind, the virus would have been able to hit the psychological switches for obsessive love unopposed. It still hit them, and hit them hard, but it was simple enough for X to remember that it wasn't real and restore the original settings. It was a very good thing that oversight was an automatic process, as close as he came to a subconscious one, because otherwise he would have been far too distracted to check. This really was devastatingly effective, and it was hard to believe it was happening, because who would program something like this?

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to set Zero up with someone. This kind of mind control capability? Because this wasn't just fiddling with his inputs like the first time Zero drained him: this was a real attempt to break into and alter his thoughts. It was a very good thing X had taken leave of his senses last night, because otherwise they might have asked for a volunteer for Zero to feed on, for the data on how it worked and the chance to observe his systems, and a reploid wouldn't be able to fight off this kind of control. Doing that to someone's heart was disgusting, and Zero would have blamed himself, not just his systems.

He was getting really, really irritated, and his fingers dug into Zero's back now, tugging him close. X could have vetoed the urge to take off his armor immediately, instead of removing one or two of the more annoying pieces, but he knew his own mind. He'd wanted to go along with this, and now he was really angry at himself, because he'd basically let this programming set Zero up to molest him, or that was how Zero might see it no matter what X said. Really, it was more X taking advantage of Zero, because X was the one who was awake and had a chance of stopping it, even though a multi-pronged systems attack like this wasn't giving him a lot of options. Zero was having no say in this whatsoever.

He was angry with himself more than Zero's creator, X thought. He also shouldn't be angry about the fact he was having to think when something like this was happening. He was going to have to feel guilty about this in the morning, or rather the evening. Thank goodness Zero didn't have to... X very much hoped that he wasn't awake yet, that he wasn't watching while his systems did something, ignoring what he wanted. X was going to have to recheck every single one his settings manually, just to be paranoid and reassure Dr. Cain and Sigma, too. And then Zero might be afraid, from now on, that every bit of kindness X showed him was because of mind control, and… And this was probably being caught on camera, too, despite the shield of the wings. Wonderful. Simply wonderful.

And he couldn't break himself loose and force Zero awake because it was wonderful. This was just as damnably effective as the nausea Zero's systems used to keep X incapacitated while Case Zero saw him as prey even though X could fight off the mind control. No, partially because of what he had to do to fight off the mind control.

Keeping the virus from controlling his emotions and actions was keeping him from exercising self-control, since every time his systems overrode the virus' attempts to control him, they restored the default reactions, meaning his conscious mind couldn't override them, either. He'd try to get self-control, then the virus would try, then his systems would override everything and he was back to square one, the base reactions to stimuli. Even though, intellectually, he knew that there was more to this than just how it felt…

He might have felt something about Zero, for Zero, those last trembling instants even without the virus' interference, but because of the virus he couldn't let himself, and it was even more a frustration, being denied something wonderful, than succeeding in pushing away from Zero before the drain finished and the cascade hit would have been.

As he shut down audio output to keep himself from making any noises that would be caught on camera and make this any worse he felt almost territorial, wanted to grab Zero's face and seize his lips, mark them somehow, make Zero see him, see that this was about them, not about Zero's creator or the virus, the onlookers or anything else. What if Zero didn't want this, though? What if that made him blame X for this?

No, he should take responsibility. He deserved any blame he had coming to him. He should have found some way to put a stop to this even if his systems were going haywire because this was important and it was Zero who was going to suffer the consequences of this, not X. He knew very well who everyone would blame unless, and perhaps even if, X made his position very clear.

Part of him really did want to do that by kicking the cabinet out of the way so that he could push Zero down to the ground, but he doubted he had the skills to kiss Zero senseless or anything like that. It would be extremely out of character for him to start shooting cameras, either, not to mention the risk of setting something off and blowing them all sky-high.

Self-control or no self-control, he was very lucky that the afterglow somehow managed to restore that golden morning calm. The fact that he finally understood what people were talking about when they talked about wanting to kill something receded, eroded by this relaxing tide and awareness of the body around his. It was very hard to hate anyone on a bright, warm summer morning. Unless they were trying to force you out of bed for something ridiculous.

If it weren't for the attempted mind control and Zero's systems (so help him, if he ever got his hands on Zero's builder!), this was really a very nice way to wake up. It made him wish that he had Zero's ability to purr. He settled for letting out a slow, even breath and cuddling up closer to Zero.

Zero had just been jarred out of a very nice dream by someone squeezing him a little tightly (a combination of the virus trying to get X to come closer to Zero and X really, really wanting to strangle Zero's builder) and the realization that it was actually happening. "What… X?" Why was X here, like the first time Zero woke up able to think? He'd gotten the impression that wasn't going to happen again, and that was fine, he knew he wasn't safe.

They were testing out all kinds of things, but X's nanites were the only thing they were sure would let Zero feel full. If he killed X, he could spend the rest of eternity mad and starving, and he'd deserve it.

X ignored him, humming a bit, just softly.

"X?" Was he alright? What had just happened?

"That was very nice." X leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, eyes still closed, knowing without looking that Zero was staring and blinking.

"…X?" The movement forced Zero to recognize that X was around a third naked.

"I am sorry that happened. I hope you're not angry with me?" X asked, or rather yawned, taking shameless advantage of the fact Dr. Light had designed him to look like he was late teens at the oldest. He did cute quite well, when he wanted to.

"…What?" Why on earth would Zero be angry with him? For putting himself in danger by getting this close to Zero.

"Then can we please talk about this in the morning?" They both knew X meant later at night, compensating for Zero's warped body clock.

"…Sure?" Whatever X wanted. It was kind of hard to say no when X looked sleepy, and pathetic, and winsome, all cuddled up to Zero, who was very nicely full, and warm and aware X was the reason why. He was almost certainly the reason X seemed so very… relaxed, with what could only be described as bedroom eyes, and comfortable himself. Satisfied, in fact, which Zero was aware should bother him, since he knew his systems did weird things to people and he didn't want X to end up a zombie, it was just that X seemed anything but bothered and… He'd never noticed how pretty X was. Actually, of the two of them, maybe X was the one who really looked like a female model. Not that there was anything wrong with this. He'd never seen X unarmored, even partially. Soft, warm, trusting and… pretty. It made him blush, and want to look away to hide the blush, but that would have meant looking away from X and X was already cuddling up to him again, eyes closed, so he wouldn't see.

So he watched him sleep, quiet and amazed. There was really nothing else he could do, except nuzzle X's hair a few times, trying not to wake him and blushing again at the soft little sounds of appreciation.

"Did I ever tell you about what it was like the first time you fed from me?" That was where X decided to start, after putting his armor back on. Zero was helpful enough to use his wings to sweep it into grabbing range so X could do so without leaving Zero's lap quite yet.

"You said that it didn't hurt." Although he'd thought some of that had to be X humoring him. Now, though, he wondered.

"Your systems cracked my situational awareness. You made me feel as though…" X paused, remembering and looking for words. Zero studied the feelings that appeared on his face, at the memory, reassured. "I was safe. Despite the zombies." And the predator. "Like a warm, lazy morning, with family and nowhere else I had to be. I was aware that it was tampering, but a normal reploid wouldn't have been. Even so, it was very peaceful. A very nice thing to fall asleep to."

"You mean black out." Drained of 'blood.'

"No, I was drained, but it was sleep, not unconsciousness." X paused. "You've probably noticed that I fall asleep easily." In a corner of the observation booth, so he'd be there if they needed him. "It's not really a design defect, but it's an unavoidable consequence of the fact I had to be kept asleep for thirty years." It would have been all kinds of bad if he'd started fighting to wake up.

"That makes sense." Zero had just put it down to X being far too trusting, sleeping there where Zero could see him, especially after the first time they'd captured him, when he was growing so very hungry.

X considered explaining why he'd come by today next, to start that scene off, but that would remind Zero of all the people he'd killed, and that was the last thing he wanted to do right then. So, if he couldn't tell Zero why he'd chosen to fall asleep there, where to start without drawing attention to the gap?

No, he'd just omit the entire thing about X falling asleep in Zero's arms because Zero had needed a hug. "This time, well, it was rather different. When we repaired you this time, you seemed surprised that something was missing, and made room on the table. I think you were surprised that you'd woken up both full and alone. Your less sophisticated intelligence was expecting whoever had fed you to come rejoin you, I think." And Zero had said that he wanted someone with him, when he woke up. "So I should have realized that your body might handle pacifying prey differently from, well, showing thanks to someone who had fed you willingly." A bedmate.

"You're saying my body thought you were my…" lover?

"Well, it fits." X shrugged. "That was what the emotional aspect was suggesting, too. The first pacification method worked by causing…" the prey? Victim? "The source to feel certain emotions towards you. Trust. This one tried to cause emotions appropriate in a lover."

"It tried to make you fall in love with me?"

Thank goodness that Zero was saying 'it' had instead of thinking that he had. "Yes. Don't worry, it didn't work. I'm aware of my mental state, I just changed everything back. It was irritating more than anything." X grimaced at the memory, like he'd bitten something sour. "But I don't think you should bite anyone else like that. Not unless you're already in a relationship. It's a good thing we discovered this now."

"I guess." Zero would rather they'd never found out about it. That it didn't exist. It was one more thing about his design that was just sick.

"It's a pity, though."

Wait, was X implying…

So, of course, that was when X left to go find out who he had to do what to in order to make them keep quiet about the whole thing.

Zero had only been here a little over two weeks, total, but he'd already noticed that X was aware of the disarming effect being nice and considerate had on people, since X, Sigma and Dr. Cain were trading off dealing with the people who came in determined to get answers, willing to, wanting to, dissect or even kill Zero again in the process.

It wasn't even a snow job. X was always trying to be helpful, really, in those cases, and that was probably why it worked. He was on their side as much as Zero's. They'd often lost people, and they really did want to solve the mystery. Zero wanted the mystery to be solved, so more power to them.

Still, he'd seen it often enough to realize that X leaving after dropping a bombshell like implying that X wouldn't mind falling in love with him wasn't normal. Normally, when X dropped a bombshell he was always trying to do it gently, and make sure people were okay afterwards. He wouldn't have used it as heavy artillery unless he was trying to deal with something else. Like trying to make very sure Zero knew that X was ok with what had happened. Very ok.

X had revealed something like that about himself, a vulnerability like that, and it didn't matter to him, his own feelings and the risk of being rejected didn't matter to him, not compared to Zero's feelings. To making sure someone was okay, even a monster.

Zero would already have laid down his life for X. Obviously. It wasn't as though he wouldn't come back, and twice now, it was Sigma that brought him back here, X that fed him and brought him back to... gave him sanity. This body he hated was barely any price at all, to preserve his chance to escape the hunger. The substitute nanites just didn't feel the way X's did, didn't taste the same. It would take even longer now for them to find out if they weren't enough, if they were still missing something. Because X had fed him, and Zero's systems had done... something, and X still wanted to protect him. Was still willing to feed him.

Was there anything he wouldn't do, to preserve that?

A monster like him?