Chapter 4

Lauren silently opened the front door hoping to escape to her room before all the questions started, she really wasn't in the mood for any form of discussion, verbal or otherwise. In all honesty she wanted to shut herself away in her room and cry. Unfortunately for Lauren it seemed her bad day was going to get worse, she was halfway up the stairs when her Dad appeared at the top of them with his arms folded. He raised his hand and made a turning motion with his finger "Not so quick young lady, your mums in the kitchen." Lauren stared at him "go on, we want to talk to you".

She pivoted on the step and plodded sullenly into the kitchen, finding her mum sat at the table, a glass of wine poised in her hands. "Lauren!" she gasped "Where have you been, I've been calling you! We were worried…"

She stayed in the doorway as Max walked past her and sat down, he said something to Tanya but Lauren couldn't understand as his mouth was obstructed. "Sit down babe…" he said turning back to her. "Please" he added when she still didn't move.

Reluctantly she did as she was asked and sat down, staring anxiously at her parents. Her dads hand reached across the table to take hers but she pulled it away and averted her teary gaze. "Darling talk to us, I'm sorry about earlier…about what I said, I forget sometimes" Tanya said, making sure Lauren could see her.

"I wish I could forget…" Lauren whispered "it's ok for you and Dad… you…can forget…bbb..utt I Ca..nnntt." she swiped at her eyes taking the tears away with the back of her hand. Her parents didn't say anything and she knew it's because they didn't know what to say. " Y…ou and Dddadd, ddont understand how hard this is…" the tears were falling more now as she was getting frustrated with herself as the ability to say the words that were in her mind became less simple.

"we do know Lauren…"

She shook her head at her father "no… you… don't."

Max stood up and moved to crouch by the side of her chair. He reached up and moved her hair away from her face and she automatically thought of Joey. "Babe, we know it's hard. We're so proud of how you handle this, you go on like nothing's wrong. So much so we sometimes do forget, you are no different to us than Abi and Oscar are, but we know that you sometimes need a little bit ore attention." She watched him speak to her softly and slowly, out of the whole family, her Dad was most understanding. "If we talk too quiet or too loud, too fast or slow, you have to tell us. If you cant see our lips then you have to say babe…"

"I…wish you…wo..uld…learn some sign language." She told him sadly.

Her mum interrupted "you told us not to bother…" she said pointedly "we don't need to, you can read lips very well."

"i…shouldn't have…to" Lauren said more tears building. "Can I go to my room now please?"

"yeah of course, you don't have to ask." Max told her, kissing her forehead gently, his shoulders slumping as he watched her leave, obviously very upset over something.

*JL*JL*JL*

Max stood outside Laurens door later that evening, he was still concerned about her, even more so since their conversation in the kitchen. He knocked on her door, but knew she probably wouldn't hear him, so he popped his head around and saw her sat on her bed, sketching away. He also noticed her hearing aid on the side table back in its case. He walked in cautiously and sat on her bed, she looked up as it dipped and saw him watching her with a smile. She quickly shut her sketch pad and drew her knees up under her chin. "Can we talk?" he asked making sure she could see him, he nodded to her hearing aid and she frowned shaking her head. "Why not?"

"NO" she said, surprising her father at the strength of her word.

He picked the case up and opened it, examining the little plastic insert. He knew she was watching him. He held it out to her and then put up 5 fingers. "5 minutes, that's all I'm asking". She snatched the aid from his hand and put it into her ear switching it on. "Thank you…"

"What…do you want…to talk…about?"

"Something else is going on with you babe, I need to know what, because I hate seeing you like this. Is it getting worse?" she shook her head "is it more painful?" again she shook her head. "okay, is it college? Has something happened at college?" This time she didn't say anything. "ok so it's college…we can get you some extra support if you need it"

"no…I don't need it" she told him with a sigh.

"Then what is it? Are you being bullied again? Because I can go to the college and talk to them and.."

"It's a boy ok." Lauren said interrupting his rant.

Max visibly relaxed "A boy?" Lauren nodded a small smile on her face "He hasn't got you into any trouble has he?"

Lauren giggled a little "No Dad…" again Max relaxed "He knows…" Lauren said after a few moments.

Max's eyes widened "You told him?"

"No, he discovered it…He doesn't seem bothered by it" her tears dripped again and Max saw her hold her sketch pad closer to her chest.

"Then what's the problem?" he asked not really understanding. Lauren looked down at her fingers gripping tightly to the sketch pad and then slowly lifted her eyes to meet her Dad's.

"What if the doctors can't do anything else Dad?" she cried, bursting into tears as all her emotion came flooring out.

Max put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her sobbing body into his arms. He held her tightly and ran his hand up and down her arm. After a few minutes he pulled back "you have to think positive babe…this time next month you might not need you're hearing aid anymore, but that shouldn't make a difference though Lauren. You say this boy wasn't bothered, then why are you?"

"I want to be able to hear him…Prop..erllll..y. His voice is dull and I want to hear him talk." She closed her eyes "I want to be able to hear him when he said my art was good…"

"He sounds like a good boy, go for it with him babe…" Max smiled

"You know I can't" she told him pointedly and Max gave her an understanding nod.

He kissed her gently on the cheek "Do what makes you happy Lauren…don't like anything and I mean anything hold you back." He left her room and Lauren took a deep breath, letting his words sink in. she opened her sketch book and stared down at the picture she'd drawn. She stared at his gorgeous face, smiling as the image filtered into her mind.

"Don't let anything hold you back" she whispered.

Poor Lauren, she seems to be having a bit of a rough day. She's feeling like she doesn't fit in the family and there's something stopping her taking things further with Joey, but what is it? back tomorrow :) xxx