See disclaimers in chapter 1. Commentaries welcome.
Culmination
Chapter 4
The Decision
He closed the door behind him and tossed his keys on his kitchen table.
Well that's it for a while.
Hey, you finally have some time off.
Time off? If I want time off, I'll take it. Who needs a vacation?
You do!
No I don't.
Yes! You do. If you don't take this time, they'll become suspicious. Who ever heard of a cop refusing time off. Besides you've worked almost three years straight with only three "sick" days off. And even then you weren't 'sick.'
And when I was shot?
One day! You were checking out the warehouse the next night. Leaving Natalie asleep on the couch.
Natalie
You had the perfect opportunity to push your relationship.
What do you mean, relationship, I took advantage of her. I didn't even know her.
She let you kiss her. Repeatedly.
I pushed it. I tried to seduce her and…
She enjoyed it, and wanted more.
No, she was just trying to help me, that's what friends do.
But she could be more than a friend could. Tell her how you feel.
I can't.
Yes, you can.
I don't want to hurt her.
You love her!
Yes.
Then tell her!
I can't, I can't have that kind of relationship.
You could if you tried.
No! It's too dangerous.
For who?
For her. If I forgot myself for one moment, lost control, I could kill her in an instant.
You wouldn't.
I might.
So what then? You're trying to become mortal again. Yet you stand on the sidelines, letting your fear dictate your life.
It's not like that at all.
That's exactly how it is. You have to take the next step if you're ever going to cross back. You have to have Faith.
But what if I'm doing this for naught? She's never given any indication that she feels anything for me other than friendship.
How can you be so sure? Have you ever asked her? How will she ever know unless you tell her how you feel?
OK, what if I do? What if I tell her how I feel and she's not interested? Or worse yet, she tells me that I'm just experiencing an infatuation with my doctor? If that happens she may end up distancing herself. Or tell me she can no longer help me.
She wouldn't do that.
She might. I couldn't bear that.
Now you're using that as an excuse.
If she rejected me, left me… There would be no reason for going on.
That's all the more reason for telling her!
I can't take that risk.
Oh, and you would do better if she continued to remain "friends", but went on, married someone else, and had the family that should be yours?
No…
Then stop hiding. It's time you made something of your existence. Build a future filled with promise. This is the opportunity you need to leave a legacy of hope. Tell Natalie how you truly feel and go on from there. She loves you too. All it takes is Faith. You have more of that then you give yourself credit for.
Nick rubbed his face with both hands, walked to the refrigerator and opened the door. Without a second thought, he pulled the pitcher containing his protein supplement out and went to the cupboard. He filled a tall glass and drank the mixture.
He could do this, he would tell her. She wouldn't leave him. He had Faith.
I'll tell her. Tonight.
Why wait?
Why indeed?
Nick picked up the handset, a quick glance at his watch verified the time, and she'll have been home for some time by now. He dialed her number.
The answering machine picked up.
Before he could leave a message, the lift engaged.
It was her.
End Chapter4