Wherever You Go Chapter 4: Feb pt 2 and March, a twilight fanfic

Wherever You Go

Chapter 3- February part 2 and March

Sorry it took so long, my laptop literally wouldn't start and I had to start the chapter again on my new one. :( and I wasn't going to do a half arsed effort because I had to type it again. So it took a while cause I had to make sure it was up to par. That and school can be so stressful! Shout out to Kaptooya… my excuse for procrastination :P (totally worth it, even when I almost fail a test… shhhh *shifty eyes*)

It's a shorter one this time, but I was sick of making you wait, and I'm just so busy.

Plus that and I'm scheming to go to live at the zoo :P… just need to convince the olds. :P

Last Time

"Bella, I have something else to tell you." He whispered, unable to hide the pain in his eyes this time.

"You don't have too if your not ready Edward" I told him. He shook his head and stared out to sea, deciding whether to tell me or not yet.

"I have a girlfriend"

Friday February 20

Pulling out of his embrace proved difficult as I struggled to find the words to answer the shattering news he had just whispered into my hair. He had treated me like a princess since we had left the house and it seemed it was only to break my heart when I was already trying to recover from another heartbreak. As much as I had tried to fight the truth, I knew I still loved Jake, as much of a prick as he was. I couldn't look at Pru at the moment and she seemed to have no idea what I was angry about, even though I could see her texting him under her desk at school. I had contemplated calling her on it, but decided that it wasn't her fault, I was just looking for someone to blame other than myself, such is human nature.

I turned in Edward's arms, sighing, resigning myself to the fact that I was going to get hurt, and not caring. At the moment he was still nothing but a rebound, and a forbidden fling I had had over the past two months, but it was about to come to an end. I looked up at his face to see that his beautiful green eyes were hidden behind a shock of bronze hair. His eyes may have been covered, but the tear sliding down his cheek gave him away. I waited for him to talk again, running my hand through his hair, but letting the fringe he was using to try and hide from me remain over those ever-expressive eyes.

"Well I suppose the correct term would be had a girlfriend." He muttered after a while. I lifted an eyebrow questioningly as he finally caught my eye. The tears had cleared his eyes a little and the green had slightly changed to a bluey colour, yet another thing to add to the list of intriguing things about Edward Cullen.

"She died." he whispered not bothering to hide the tears that flowed silently from his eyes this time. I didn't say a word, but pulled him into my arms and held on for dear life.

"I'm telling you this for a reason Bella, I know we have been getting more involved with each other than we ever should have recently, I'm drawn to you Bella. I have tried keeping away but I'm not strong enough, I need you to keep me away. I cant have you going through the pain I am now, because I know it will be worse, because I know if I let myself fall, I will never fall again and I can't help but selfishly pray that you will too. That's why I'm warning you Bella, don't let me in, don't ever let me in. I don't want you getting hurt."

"Edward, I can't decide if I want to or not until I have the full story"

he just shook his head and pushed me away, walking back up towards his Volvo on top of the cliff face.

When I reached him, out of breath from the climb up he was staring off out to sea, a troubled look upon his beautiful features. I sighed dejectedly and clambered into the front seat of the car and turned the music up just how I knew he liked it.

We spent the car ride back singing along to the music, pretending that nothing had happened between us, knowing that as soon as we exited the car, we wouldn't talk again like we had been recently.

Even though Edward was the one who had told me to keep away, I knew it would be him that in forced what he had decided and sure enough nothing else was said between us as soon as we pulled up at the house, the music suddenly becoming a wall between us instead of something joining us together.

February 26, 2009

Dear Bella,

I know that our exchange on the cliffs has hurt you, and I know I was being a prick. I want to apologize for my behaviour, although everything I said still stands true.

I do hope that we can be friends; even if this is the only way we ever have a meaningful conversation. Maybe one day I will tell you the whole story, but you have to understand that I'm not ready to share everything with you just yet. I think that if I write it down it may be easier to talk to you without breaking down with worry about hurting you.

I don't think you understand how much you have come to mean to me in such a short time and such little exchange between us that actually made sense.

That day on the beach Bella, I know I hurt you and I apologize from the bottom of my heart for that. But Bella, you must understand that that day, that day was one of the most uplifting days of my life. A chance to be normal, a chance to have someone who knows nothing of my past, nothing of my future to spend time with, to talk to. This is why I haven't told you any more of my life. I had hoped to store you in my memory to look back on when times were bad, but then you turned up at the shack with my family and I pushed you away. I didn't want you ever to know anything else about me than the discussion we had had that day. I figured if I avoided you I could keep the memory safe, keep my newfound sanctuary from the world safe.

But you were there, you didn't leave, and I fell. And I fell hard. I know I shouldn't be sending you this, but every other time I have tried talking to you I have chickened out. I have even chickened out from posting this. I'm going to leave it somewhere for you to find, because if you don't it wont matter, at least I would have tried.

Tanya had cancer Bella, and she meant so much to me. But she holds nothing compared to you in my heart.

Part of me hopes that you never find this, and then the selfish part of me does, the selfish part of me hopes that you will forgive me.

I'm going to shut up now.

Look after my heart, I left it with you. That night on the cliff top.

Edward.

March 4 2009

Dear Edward.

I'm confused, but I think you know why.

I forgive you for what happened on the cliff.

And I feel the same way about you.

Bella.

March 19 2009

-Ugly duckling has logged on-

EC- Hey Bella

Ugly duckling- Edward, hey!

EC- I see you found my letter.

Ugly duckling- geez straight to the point! :P

EC- that's me. :P

Ugly duckling- so….

EC- so… what's with the Ugly Duckling?

Ugly duckling- it's a play on my last name, that and doesn't the ugly duckling turn out to be a beautiful swan?

EC- You already are the beautiful swan.

Ugly duckling- id shut up quick if I were you or I'll fall harder.

EC- sorry

Ugly duckling- no probs. ;-)

Are you still sticking to the whole cant be together thing? Cause it's too late for me to change my mind anyway.

EC- I wish you wouldn't say that Bella, it makes it so much harder.

Saturday March 28

"Ready to go Bella?" he asked.

"Yep, just let me grab my bag."

Edward was taking me out on a date. Talking to him recently had proven to both of us that it was pointless trying to fight it.

That still didn't stop the arguments and the constantly being confused as to what was going on between us.

The Volvo peeled away from the boarding house as we drove off.

"Where are we going?"

"Surprise!" he teased.

When we pulled up at the apartment I was confused.

He ran around to my door before I could even open it and opened it for me, holding on to my hand as we made our way through the door.

"Wait here" he said in the hallway, sliding silk around my eyes as a blindfold.

So we were eating in.

He was back moments later and led me down the hallway into the dining room. When he pulled the blindfold off I couldn't help but laugh. He had transformed the place, the table was pushed up against the wall and there was a giant beanbag on the floor, a domino's box on the floor in front of it, the big TV from the living room had been dragged into the corner and was paused at the start of the Breakfast Club, my favourite movie.

"This is BRILLIANT!" I laughed.

"Glad you like it" he said, wrapping his arms around me from behind and pulling me down onto his lap in the beanbag.

"I figured, we haven't really been all that traditional so far, so why not continue" I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Sounds good to me" I was surprised at how naturally we were acting around each other so soon, but decided not to question it.

After the movie was over and the pizza devoured I found my self comfortably still on Edward lap as I played with his hair. We hadn't kissed since February, and I was dying to kiss that crooked smile now, but had suddenly lost my nerve. He frowned as I pulled his hair up into a makeshift Mohawk giggling to myself at how funny he looked. I sighed when I realised that no matter what, he would still be the most gorgeous man alive.

"Bella, I'm ready"

I turned to look into his eyes, searching to see if he really was ready for this.

He started talking anyway.

"A few years ago, Bella, when my parents adopted me I had been in and out of hospital for ages, my real parents couldn't afford to pay the hospital bills anymore and abandoned me. They never found out what was wrong with me." He paused for a second, letting everything sink in.

"I met Tanya when I was in hospital, she had the same symptoms that I had. We bonded over that fact, but really we were completely different people."

"Half way through last year, Tanya died, completely out of the blue. She hadn't been too bad in a while, nothing had been bothering her, but I think it was stress. We had just had a fight and she left, upset, and I just let her drive off."

He was quiet for a minute, a blank expression on his face as he stared at the wall.

"She died in her sleep that night at her house, she had gone home to see her mother. If I hadn't been such a prick, and driven her out of the house, she might still be alive today Bella.

I wiped the tear off of his cheek before it could hit the floor

"The doctors have no idea how long I will live Bella. I could die any minute and there would be no warning. I don't want to hurt you Bella, and I never want to leave you once I make the commitment to stay."

My courage came back the second those words left his mouth, and a crashed my lips against his.

"Wherever you go, I will follow." I whispered in his ear.

"No Bella, you will not follow! Not till it's your time! Promise me!" I had known that he was going to say that.

"I love you Edward, I'll do anything for you." He took that as an 'I promise' and relaxed, kissing my forehead.

"I love you too"

Well, I know it's a shitty chapter after all, and short as, but I'm stressed, sick and exhausted. This is where it might start to get a little angsty… well what do you expect? Edward has an incurable disease, that no one knows what it is…

I have made a few changes to the plot of this now, I think I told you that last chapter…. So just a little warning… it might go a little supernatural… but its not going to be vampires. Something different… not even sure myself yet.

Aaaaanyway…

Pretty please with Rob AND Kellan AND Jackson on top review! :P

Ally