"Okay, Ms. Hill, a technician will be up to the room shortly." The concierge said. Maria paid little to no attention as she was busy staring at Phil Coulson.
"Alright, thanks." She muttered absently and headed into the shop for some food for the Avengers. Natasha and Clint were already in the shop to help carry things the things back. Maria realized that this was a good thing. Had it been anyone else like Bruce or Tony...
"Fanboy's here." Maria said under her breath. Clint shrugged and Maria made the S.H.I.E.L.D. accepted ASL sign for 'Coulson'. Both Natasha and Clint's jaws dropped.
"No way." Clint shook his head. "No way is that possible."
"He's got his two kids with him." Maria whispered.
"Kids or not..." Clint trailed off.
"Yeah, what if one of the others sees him?" Natasha said quietly.
"If Bucky or Sam sees him, it wouldn't be a problem." Clint reasoned. "They don't know him. But if Tony, Thor, Bruce or Cap-especially Cap-sees him then we better call Houston as we're gonna have a problem on our hands."
"Let's not worry about that now." Maria said to the two calm looking assassins who were no doubt panicking on the inside. "Let's just worry about supplies."
Maria made a mental list of what she might need. First, Thor. "Alright, Thor will eat anything as long as you pair it with coffee." Maria picked up a Darth Vader cookie and walked over to the coffee machine to make a coffee for Thor.
"Tony will eat chips if he's desperate." Natasha said, picking up a bag of Lays. "Bruce told me that Tony eats them when he's down in the lab because he can just pick at them."
"Cap likes sandwiches." Clint said. "Bacon is awesome." He took a deep breath. "So bacon sandwich it is for Cap. And another one for Sam since he's Cap's sidekick or whatever he is."
"He's a friend. I'd say Bucky's more his sidekick." Natasha said. "I don't really know what he likes."
"Then get him a plain cheese sandwich." Clint shrugged and Natasha picked up a cheese sandwich.
"That leaves Bruce." Maria said.
"Get him a salad." Clint smiled. "He's vegetarian. Vegetarians eat salad."
"They eat other things besides salad, Clint."
"Whoa! Who died and made Tasha Queen of the Vegetarians?!" Clint laughed. Maria and Natasha looked on at him, unamused.
"Let's get him some chips too." Natasha suggested.
"Pringles?" Clint asked, his hand hovering over a small carton of the famous potato chips.
"Why not?" Natasha shrugged. "I mean, Tony's getting Lays, why not give Bruce Pringles." Clint grabbed the carton and they went to pay.
"Hang on! Drinks!" Natasha said and went to the fridge. She came away with as many bottles of water as she could carry and let them all fall on the counter.
"Clint, you're gonna have to go the shop next door for a plastic bag or two." Maria said.
"On it, Chief." Clint nodded and ran out the small food shop.
"Don't call me Chief." Maria muttered under her breath.
"Should we get cupcakes?" Natasha asked.
"No, I think we got enough here..." Maria began.
"Let me rephrase that." Natasha said sternly. "We're getting cupcakes."
It was easier getting a plastic bag than Clint anticipated. He was on his way back to Maria and Natasha when he heard something that stopped him dead in his tracks.
"Unca Clint!"
"Kids, be quiet!"
Clint turned around to see Phil Coulson with his children, looking at a sheet of paper and accompanied by a bellhop.
"Uh... Sir." Clint addressed Phil nervously.
"No need for formalities, Clint. This is Disney World." Phil looked at the archer up and down. "So you're staying here too, then."
Clint nodded. "Two weeks, Phil."
"The others still don't know I'm alive now, I hope."
"Thor, Bruce, Tony and Cap don't and Sam and Bucky don't even know who you are." Clint confirmed.
"Sam and Bucky?"
"Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes."
"Wait-Bucky Barnes?" Phil choked in surprise. "The Winter Soldier?"
"Yeah. He's an Avenger now."
"Wow. You die and then go away for four years and this happens." Phil shook his head.
"So how are you enjoying fatherhood? Novelty worn off yet?" Clint asked.
"Clint, it's hard." Phil ran his hand through what was left of his hair. "I can't deny that."
"And I see they're costing you a fortune."
"Oh no, I wanted this." Phil smiled. "I'm usually too busy with my work as a computer programmer," He emphasized. "That I don't spend too much time with my kids. This vacation is my attempt to correct that."
"He does biz-niss." Phil's daughter Dana said innocently.
"That's right." Phil patted his daughter on the head.
"Not told them about S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Clint raised his eyebrow.
"S.H.I.E.L.D. is the program Daddy makes." Dana smiled up at Clint.
"CLINT!" Maria shouted. "How long does it take to get a bag..." She emerged from the small food shop.
"Hello, Maria." Phil smiled.
"Hi, Aunt Maria!" Phil's kids said together.
"Are you and Unca Clint seeing each other?" Phil's son Max blurted out.
"No. No we're not!" Maria and Clint said defensively.
"And Phil, as much as you're my father figure and one of my closest friends, I have to go get back to the guys now."
"Yeah, I know how Tony can be." Phil rubbed the back of his neck.
"Come on, Clint." Maria said, grabbing Clint's free arm and pulled him back into the shop.
Maria, Natasha and Clint were walking to their hotel rooms with their items-sans Thor's coffee-now in the plastic bag.
"I can't believe Coulson's here." Natasha said after a long period of silence.
"Part of me still can't believe he's not dead now." Clint muttered. "He's alive, Tasha. He had trouble telling us that."
"Grow up. We've known for the past three years, Clint. He didn't have to tell us." She shrugged. "We're both S.H.I.E.L.D. Level 7."
"Still." Clint shrugged.
"He didn't tell you because of the really cruel nature of Project T.A.H.I.T.I." Maria said. "He never actually went to Tahiti." She inhaled deeply because she knew that though they knew that Phil lived, neither Clint or Natasha knew what had happened to him. "He had his memories altered. He was half alive, begging for death, but Fury never gave up on him. The 'drug'" She did quotation marks in the air. "That saved him is called GH-325. And it's only for use on... Dead or dying Avengers."
"Well..." Clint's eyes widened and his face paled. "Good to know there's a contingency plan. Y'know? In case someone disembowels me, stabs me, shoots me or whatever."
They walked in silence past the swimming pool. Clint and Natasha couldn't help but to crane their necks to see it.
"Clint, did you pack your swimming trunks?" Natasha asked.
"I sure did. Did you pack your bikini?"
"No." Natasha answered. "I packed my swim suit."
"Damn. I'm going there when we've had our snacks." Clint said.
"Oh no you're not." Maria said. "We're sticking together."
"Not fair." Clint huffed.
"Yes fair." Maria said.
"So we can't go swimming?"
"Oh no, we can. Just not today."
Natasha grunted. She felt Maria was being unreasonable. "It's only six in the evening, Maria." Maria sighed. "This is in case the others see Coulson, isn't it?"
"No, it isn't." Maria said as they approached their hotel building very far from the main reception, but close to one of the resort shuttle stations. Perhaps they should've taken it.
"What is it then?"
"It is what it is, now suck it up." Maria ordered. "We're gonna have snacks and go to bed early because according to you two" She pointed at Clint and Natasha. "We've to be at the Magic Kingdom by eight."
"Do you want to do the 7 Dwarfs Mine Train or not?" Natasha folded her arms sullenly.
"I could care less, but for the next two weeks, I'm with you." Maria grunted. "I don't know why I volunteered for this shit. Fury should've sent Agent fucking anyone but me."
They stopped outside a door and heard loud noises and muffled voices. "Fuck me, what are they doing now?" Maria sighed as she raised her wrist and touched her MagicBand on the door. When she opened it, she half expected the remaining Avengers to be squabbling with each other. What she didn't expect was them to be taking sides. Bruce and Thor sided with Tony and Bucky and Sam with Steve.
"Well at least I was never in show-business." Tony spat. "The star-spangled man with a plan!"
"You may never have been in show-business, but you don't have to be!" Steve scowled. "Your private life is splattered all over the tabloids! You're practically an alcoholic!" He shouted, waving Thor's copy of Us Weekly in Tony's face.
"According to the studies today, you should be an alcoholic or at least suffering from some sort of PTSD like your good friend Winter Soldier." Tony raised his voice. "But no! You're perfect in every fucking way!"
"I may be a war veteran," Steve began. "And it might not seem so great for you because I never once profited of civilian casualties."
"Fuck you." Tony's eyes narrowed. "Your precious Howard started making those weapons. I only continued. At least I fucking changed."
"At least Howard loved me." Steve crossed his arms smugly. This lasted all but a second as Maria, Clint and Natasha could only look on in shock as Tony tackled Steve to the ground and punched him in the face. Steve then began hitting Tony.
"Civil War! Civil War!" Bruce, Thor, Sam and Bucky cried out.
"Take that back!" Tony growled.
"Never!" Steve shouted. "Benedict Cumberbatch is the better Sherlock Holmes!"
"Fuck you!" Tony shouted as Bruce and Thor pulled Tony off Steve.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Maria shouted. "Tell me how this started."
"I'd rather not do that..." Tony grunted.
"Not a question, Stark." Maria snapped.
"He insulted my father." Tony said under his breath.
"And?" Maria turned to Steve. "Did you?"
"I only did it because he said I was a disgrace as a soldier."
"And I only said that because he said I don't deserve my Iron Man armor."
"And I only said that because he said that I'm 'nothing but a lab rat'."
"And I said that..."
"Alright!" Maria raised her hands. "No more." She turned to Bucky and Sam. "When did you start taking sides?"
"When Tony called Steve the worst Human Torch." Sam said.
Maria turned to Bruce and Thor. "And you?"
"When Steve called Tony a pathetic alcoholic." Bruce said.
"That's right. I'm not an alcoholic." Tony whined. "I'm a drunk. There's a difference."
"Tony, Steve, go to your rooms." Maria inhaled deeply. "I feel like I'm your mother rather than your boss."
"But-but..." They protested.
Maria growled at them and they each left Maria's hotel room.
"And you four," She began, looking at Bruce, Thor, Bucky and Sam. "No taking sides."
They all looked at the floor, sheepishly.
"We brought snacks, by the way." Maria clicked her fingers and Natasha came forward and handed Thor his coffee.
Clint tipped all the snacks from the bag out on the table. "The Lays are Tony's and one of the bacon sandwiches is Steve's." He explained. "The other one is for Sam and the cheese one is Bucky's."
"I'm guessing the salad is mine..." Bruce sighed.
"And the Pringles." Clint smiled. "The Darth Vader cookie is for you, Thor. You like Star Wars, right?"
"Indeed." Thor smiled, picking up the black iced cookie. "I enjoyed it very much when I watched it with Jane. This is a most wondrous baked treat. Many thanks to you, Bird Man."
"It's Clint... We've been over this before." Clint whined.
"There's also cupcakes." Natasha said cheerfully. "Three choc chip, three double choc chip and three blueberry."
"And a bottled water." Clint added.
"So who's the popcorn, the Cheetos and the trail mix for?" Bucky asked as he poked the bag of trail mix. "And for that matter, why does the trail mix have Chip and Dale on it?"
"To answer the first question, the trail mix is mine." Clint said, snatching the trail mix from Bucky. "And it's got Chip and Dale on it because this is Disney World."
"The popcorn's mine." Natasha said. "The Cheetos are Maria's."
"Now everyone choose a cupcake, pick up a water and get the fucking hell out of my room."
About an hour or so later-though it might have been an hour and a half-Maria picked up the bacon sandwich, one of the spare cupcakes and a water and left her room. She walked two doors down and knocked on the door. Steve answered it. She could see he still had a black eye, but it was in the latest stage of healing.
"Hey, Steve." She said. "I brought food."
"Come in." He said and stepped away from the door to let Maria in. She lay the food down on his table.
"Where's Bucky?" She asked.
"In the bathroom." Steve replied. "He's having a bath. Apparently it's easier on his arm than a shower." He shrugged.
"Sorry that I had to throw you out earlier." Maria said softly. "But you and Stark are just arguing too much for my liking. And that's what we aim to correct by sending you guys here and having you spend pretty much all your time with each other-except for sleep of course-"
"Clint and Natasha went to the pool." Steve blurted out. "Is this blueberry?" He asked, pointing at the cupcake.
"They what?!"
"They went down to the pool." Steve repeated, taking a bite out of the cupcake. "Wow. This is good." He mumbled with his mouth full.
Maria's phone began to ring.
"You gonna get that?"
"Agent Hill." Maria winced. Although this was work for her, she didn't want it to feel like it was work. But what if it was Fury calling her?
"Maria! It's Natasha Romanoff here." Natasha's voice dripped with false cheerfulness.
"Natasha." Maria said coldly.
"So uh... We got a problem."
"How bad is it?" Maria asked in monotone.
"Erm... Pretty bad." Natasha said sheepishly. "It's Clint."
"I know you're at the pool. Stay there, I'll be there in around fifteen minutes." Maria hung up, not giving Natasha the chance to respond.
True to her word, Maria arrived at the main pool area in quarter of an hour after dropping Tony's food off at his and Bruce's hotel room which was directly under hers. She was greeted by a dry Natasha wearing a black swimsuit and goggles and a wet Clint wearing purple swimming trunks and flip flops.
"What's happened here, then?" Maria asked sternly, folding her arms.
"Clint jumped into the water."
"So I see." Maria said, tensing up further.
"He had his... You know." Natasha whispered sheepishly. "He forgot to take them out before jumping in the water."
"Clint, you didn't..."
"He can't hear you." Natasha sighed. "Water damage."
"Back to your hotel room." Maria said. "Don't make me repeat it."
"Actually, I think you're going to have to for Clint..." Maria's stare hardened. "Okay. Going now." Natasha grabbed Clint's wrist and they both walked away from the pool with their heads down while Maria marched behind them, carrying their items.
"So you have got spare hearing aids for Clint?" Maria asked Tony, in her second visit of the hour to his hotel room.
"Yeah, but they're not the fancy little in ear S.H.I.E.L.D. ones that he usually has." Tony said, producing a small, hard black box from his suitcase. "They're just your average looking ones that I've been tinkering with."
"How powerful are they?" Maria asked.
"Powerful enough that he'll be able to hear us close to normal." Tony said as he opened the box to show Maria the two average looking, purple behind the ear hearing aids that he'd been working on.
"They're purple." Maria noted.
"And isn't that Bird Brain's favorite color?" Tony asked.
"Yeah." Maria nodded. "I just wasn't aware that hearing aids came in purple."
"They come in whatever color you want." Tony closed the box and handed it to Maria.
"Thanks, Tony."
"No problem Boss."
Maria lay her head down on her pillow and checked the time on her phone. 20:18. Damn. So early. But she felt so drained. And this wasn't even the first day! How would she feel over the next two weeks, being the only responsible adult of a group of eight bickering superheroes while trying to keep them away from their "dead" handler-who was staying at the exact same resort as they were, because of course he was.
One thing was certain; this was going to be a long two weeks.
A/N: Magic Kingdom next chapter! Yay! More of the Coulson clan next chapter! Double yay! And I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my team, the Muddogs, for notching up their first win of the season yesterday and more importantly, my teammate Joe, who scored the first field goal in Muddogs history! (We're well into our 8th season as a team now.) Yay!
So Clint and Natasha now know Coulson's staying at the same resort. What will they do with this information? I can imagine-especially after the end of Winter Soldier-that they know of Coulson's resurrection, but not quite the exact circumstance surrounding it. And I promise, the story won't hit dark like that again. Probably.
If you have any ideas of any rides they should go on, shows they should see, characters they should meet, things they should eat and/or places they should eat at, suggest it. And don't worry, I've already got It's A Small World all planned out.