CH: 4
It had been about four months since Hera's death and Sharon was still learning to negotiate the day-to-day without her. Adama's visits had stopped for several weeks and Sharon had begun to think that he would only come to see her if the cylons returned. Then, one afternoon, Adama showed up on the other side of her glass cell. Sharon walked over and picked up the receiver.
"Been a long time, Admiral," Sharon said. "So is this a social visit or do you need something from me?"
"I spoke to Helo," Adama said. "He told me you'd accepted that Hera's death wasn't murder."
Sharon nodded her head. "I still think there's someone to blame," Sharon said. "I just don't think it's you."
"So who have you placed the blame on?" Adama asked. "Roslin or President Baltar?"
Sharon swore she saw Adama cringe when he addressed Baltar as the president. "Myself," Sharon said. "I'm the one who was supposed to protect Hera; keep her safe. I failed."
"I thought the same thing after my son died," Adama said. "I spent months questioning my own actions, wondering what I could've done differently." Adama sighed. "But eventually, I came to accept that Zak's death was an accident. It's a part of life that we all have to deal with."
"Maybe your son's death was an accident, but Hera's wasn't," Sharon said. "I didn't protect her. I put myself at risk so many times and…I'm the reason Hera wasn't strong enough to survive."
"Did you love her?" Adama asked.
Sharon was taken aback by the question. "More than anything," Sharon whispered.
"Did you come here, to Galactica, to keep her safe?" Adama asked.
"Yes," Sharon said.
"Then you did all you could do," Adama said.
"But…the attack…" Sharon said, referring to the attempted rape.
"Wasn't your fault," Adama said, cutting her off. "Cottle was right. What happened to you was unforgivable and it should've been prevented." Adama looked down for a moment. "I take responsibility for my part in that," he said. "This is my ship."
Sharon was silent for a moment. Adama had never spoken to her like this before. He was so open, so raw. She saw the sorrow in his eyes over what had happened to her and her daughter.
"The responsibility was mine," Sharon said. "Hera was my daughter and I should've kept her safe."
"Your daughter didn't die because you didn't protect her," Adama said. "She died because she was human." Adama must have seen the shock on Sharon's face. "And like all human life," he continued, "Hera's came to an end."
Sharon felt the wetness on her cheeks as tears began to flood from her eyes.
"It was good to see you, Admiral," Sharon said, voice breaking.
"I'll come by again tomorrow," Adama said.
[scene break
And he did. Adama began to visit Sharon on a regular basis. As he began to spend more time with her, Adama noticed that Sharon's life was pretty monotonous. So, he arranged for Sharon's cell to be decorated with a few luxury items. She was given a very large, leather couch and a coffee table. Her single metal chair was replaced with a larger, more comfortable one. And, to help with her boredom, Sharon was given a rather large collection of books to keep on her new end table. Sharon did not know where the furniture had come from, but she knew the books were given to her straight out of the Admiral's personal collection. But the best part about the new conditions Adama had set for her was that Sharon was no longer forced to communicate with her visitors through a telephone. Adama allowed her visitors, which mainly consisted of himself and Helo, to enter Sharon's cell. There was still a guard posted inside the brig at all times, making it impossible for Sharon and Helo to have complete privacy, but Sharon was not about to complain. She was delighted to be able to sit with other people and talk without having to shout through a speaker.
One afternoon, about a week after her cell had been remodeled, Adama came to visit her. As he entered her cell, Sharon could see that he had something in his hand. Adama sat down next to Sharon on her new couch and handed her the photograph he was carrying. Sharon stared down at the picture. It was taken on the day she had arrived on Galactica; or, the day Sharon Valerii had. In the photo, she was happy, maybe as happy as she had ever been. She was surrounded by the rest of the crew; a part of them. Sharon looked up at Adama to see that he had been watching her reaction to the photograph.
"Why did you bring me this?" Sharon asked.
"Do you remember that day?" Adama asked.
"Yes," Sharon said.
"But that wasn't you," Adama said. "That was another Sharon; the one who shot me."
"Yes," Sharon said.
"You once told me that you were different," Adama said. "That you and she were two separate people."
"We are," Sharon said.
"I trusted her," Adama said. Sharon detected a trace of sorrow in the Admiral's voice. "I trusted her and she betrayed me; betrayed all of us."
"And you're wondering if that will happen again." It was not a question.
"Most of the people in this Fleet don't trust you because of what you are," Adama said, continuing. "Because you're a cylon, a machine." Adama looked down at the photograph. "But she was more than that to me. She was a person, a member of my crew."
"She mattered to you," Sharon said.
"Yes, she did," Adama said. "I want to believe that you told me the truth; that you are different. I want to believe that because I have seen you help this Fleet. I have seen you protect the people you care about." Adama looked up to meet her gaze. "I want to look past what you are."
"But every time you try, you see her," Sharon said, finishing his thought. "You see the woman who betrayed you."
"It will take a long time before I can see anything else," Adama said.
"I'm not going anywhere," Sharon said.
Adama nodded. "That was a good day," he said, looking at the photograph once more. With that, he walked out of the brig and left Sharon alone with her thoughts.