I took the window seat again. Marcus didn't seem to mind. "Now, I think it's your turn," he told me.
He was right, but where to begin? How about the beginning? "Well, I was born on La Push reservation and before long my parents inflicted a little brother upon me. His name is Seth." I pointed to the snoring man two seats down. "I lived on the reservation until two years ago when I moved to Seattle." I shrugged.
He gave me a look that told me I wasn't getting away with as little as that. "You mentioned one who wasn't meant for you." He stroked my arm and I shivered. "I think there is a lot you are neglecting to tell me."
So I told him about Sam. Then I told him about Emily. "I still loved them both so much. Seeing them together was a stabbing pain at every turn. And in the pack, there was no escaping it. I was so glad when I was able to leave with Jacob."
"Jacob?" he asked, looking to where he sat.
"Yeah. When Bella came back from her honeymoon very pregnant, Sam wanted to stop the baby from being born. Jake wouldn't agree to that. They had the equivalent of an Alpha pissing match and split the pack. Seth went with Jake, and eventually, I did too."
"There are two packs?" he asked.
"There were. A couple years ago, when Aro came for Ness, they put the pack back together under Jacob as Alpha. That was right before I left La Push. I couldn't be in the same pack as Sam again. I couldn't bear to see his son." I took a deep breath, fighting tears. Levi was the most gorgeous baby I had ever seen. I only saw him once. I started classes that winter. I couldn't stay. I couldn't handle it. It was the baby that should have been mine. Should have been mine and Sam's. Instead I had no baby, no hope of a baby, and she had everything I had ever wanted.
"Leah?" Marcus voice saying my name soothed my hurt. His cold hand on my cheek chilled the heat from my tears.
"I can't have children," I told him frankly. "My cycles are, disrupted, by the shape-shifting. I have another reason to be envious." The tears brimmed again. I felt his cold lips on my face now, on my eyes. I thought my tears froze in place.
"I won't say I understand, but I know this troubled Didyme as well. She often wished for a child."
I nodded and remembered what Jake knew about the blonde, Rosalie. "Some think the imprint was designed to assist us in finding more suitable mates, stronger offspring. I thought I didn't imprint because I was wrong – because I can't procreate." I shifted in my seat; this was an uncomfortable subject.
"Perhaps that is true. Perhaps you can yet have what you desire."
I looked my question into his eyes. Was he suggesting... But I still wasn't, right. Not really.
"Tell me more. Tell me about your family, your parents."
I leaned back and started to tell him more about my childhood, my dad before he died. Mom and Charlie. I was yawning frequently by the time I got that far. "I'm so-o-o-orry," I said over another yawn. "I don't think I can keep my eyes open any longer."
"Sleep then. You can tell me more when you wake." He put his arm around me, cold as always and shifted my head to his shoulder. I shuffled a few times, unable to get comfortable. He was very hard and very cold. Finally I dug a pillow out of the seat back. He laughed as I finally settled myself. "Sweet dreams, Leah," he wished me, kissing the top of my head.
I heard snips of conversation while I slept, never fully waking.
"Yes? And hunting more often increased that tolerance?" That was Marcus.
"Increases, but never really builds it. That took time. A long time. I'm still not as good at it as the others." That was another male vampire.
"And likely longer in my case as I have even more years to unlearn than you. This bodes well for Chelsea and Renata. They are not nearly as old as Suplicia and I." He sighed. "Suplicia. I do hope she finds some sort of comfort."
Then later: "It's in the other directory. Yes, there. Scroll down. That one. I think you might find it helpful. You've found the perfect mate for this. She understands addictions very well. She will have many strategies to assist you." Another male vampire, different from the first.
"Yes, thank you." That was Marcus again. "I'm not sure if I chose her or she chose me. I am not surprised she has everything I need." I felt ice on my scalp and drifted under again.
When I finally did wake Marcus was reading one of my books. "Mmm?" I asked, opening my eyes at last.
"Ah, you're awake. We're landing soon. Have you given any more thought to what we will do when we arrive?" Marcus asked.
I blinked several times. How much thinking did he expect me to do while I slept? "No, just dreams," I said stupidly.
"Of course," he said, shaking his head. "I'm not used to sleep." He closed the book and put it back in my bag. "Edward suggested I might want to read your paper. It was enlightening. Are you planning to return to class and submit it?"
"Edward?" I still wasn't firing on all cylinders.
"Yes. He thought your assessment of addictions might inform me as to what I will be facing." He looked into my eyes again. He looked fuzzy. I blinked slowly and opened my eyes wider. "You're still tired. Let me get you something." He pressed the button for an attendant.
"Yes?" she asked seconds later when she arrived, smiling broadly at Marcus. He smiled back and I tightened my jaw.
"Black coffee, please," I said in a clipped tone. She scowled at me and I scowled right back. I know for a fact that I am scarier than you missy, I thought. She bowed to my alpha bitchiness and gave me my brew. I inhaled it deeply and sighed. That was the stuff. I sipped slowly.
"Okay, I can think again. When we get back," I murmured over my cup. "I figured I would empty my apartment and we would head somewhere remote. Either within Washington State or maybe into Canada. Tons of empty areas there." I sipped again and looked to him, what did he think of that plan?
"You aren't going to finish your classes?" he asked.
I shook my head. "No offence, but I shudder to think about you learning your new diet in the middle of a city. I don't think I'd even want you near Forks right away."
"No offence taken. I merely thought, where you had put so much time into this..." He didn't finish.
"It's fine. I didn't really expect I'd be cut out for social work anyway. I'm not nearly compassionate enough," I snorted. "I have learned what I needed for myself. If I need to learn more for you, there's correspondence."
"Not compassionate?" he said wonderingly.
I smirked. "You haven't seen me around other people. I'm not exactly the friendliest girl around." I leaned back and took another sip of the dark brown, hot, elixir of wakefulness. Mmmm coffee. Why did I work in a pizza joint? I was made to be a barrista. Right, because then I'd have to actually be friendly to customers. They don't really care who make their pie.
"I think I'm becoming envious of that cup," Marcus said watching me intently.
I laughed. "Really?" I quirked an eyebrow. Then I put my lips to the rim again, filled my mouth and rolled it with my tongue, closing my eyes. I could feel him watching me.
The cup was suddenly replaced by a cold hand and all the heat in my mouth was being sucked away by cold lips. His tongue was running along mine and the little coffee that remained underneath instantly chilled. Then he backed away. I took a deep breath when he did and opened my eyes again.
"I'm not a fan of iced coffee," I told him. "Well, I didn't used to be." I swallowed and reached out for my cup which he still held.
"Are you planning to tempt me again?" he asked, moving to hover inches from my face.
I smiled and took another tantalizing sip. Again his mouth cooled the liquid in mine and I chuckled as I swallowed this time.
"I'll let you enjoy your drink in peace," he said, leaning back in his seat but turning his head to watch me.
I sipped more normally now and reached for my laptop. He pulled it out and handed it to me. What was I going to tell Doug? This was going to be the crappiest 'see ya' of my life. Granted, I hadn't dumped that many guys, but by email? I loathed myself.
Doug,
This family thing turned into a full situation. I'm not even going to make it back for class. I'm so sorry I won't see you to tell you this in person. Thanks so much for the invites, the company, and the friendship. If I ever do see you again, don't hate me for this. It sucks, I know.
Hoping I DO see you again,
Leah.
Yeah, that was pretty shitty. I hit send.
"A friend?" Marcus asked and I realized he was reading over my shoulder.
"Yes. Not a really close one, but one who doesn't know everything about me. I don't really have a way of telling him where I'm going or why. It's a crappy thing to do to a friend." I closed the lid and leaned over to put the computer away.
When I straightened up arms were wrapping around my neck from behind. I almost threw whoever it was over the seat before she spoke. "Goodbye, Leah. We're running as soon as we land so I wanted to say it now." It was Jacob's little freak. What had gotten into that girl? She did the same to Marcus, but at least he'd had some warning. "I know everything is going to work out great for the two of you."
"Freak," I muttered very quietly as she ran back to her own seat.
Marcus smiled. Of course, he had heard me. I rolled my eyes. "Now you know what I meant about compassion. I must be the polar opposite of your Didyme," I said with a laugh now. "She made everyone happy, and I am great at pissing them off!" I laughed harder now. "It's my talent." I was choking on my laughter. Someone was laughing in the row ahead of us and I stood to see who. Who was daring not only to agree with me but find it funny? Edward. You shut your trap, Cullen. I thought snidely, but that just set me off in more giggles as it supported my earlier assessment.
He did stop laughing, but I was willing to bet he was still smirking and fighting back snorts. Marcus was smiling, too. "I don't believe you," he told me.
"You will," I chuckled. "You will." I rose to use the washroom one last time before we landed in Seattle.
Seth snagged me on my way back to my seat. "What's this I hear about you taking off entirely?" he asked.
"Yeah, well, easiest to learn control where there is the least temptation, right? You want to dry out an alcoholic, you lock him up somewhere where there isn't any booze. I don't want to go far. And it's not like I won't keep in touch. I'll call you and Mom all the time. I'm sure we'll set up in some tiny town and I'll have a post box or something." I hugged him now. "I'm not running out on you."
"Yeah," he said unconvincingly. "Not like I need babysitting anymore anyway."
"Wrong. You need more. I'm just hoping you finally find a girlfriend to do that instead of me. Twenty years is more than long enough for me, thank you." I smirked at him. He blew a raspberry on my cheek and I slugged him in the gut.
"Ooof. Take care of yourself, Leah. We're racing once we hit the ground to make the wedding."
"I heard. Tell Mom I'll call once we find a place to stop, but not to worry if she doesn't hear from me for a week or so."
"Right. And Leah?" he said as I started to talk away. "You know you still stink right?" He got another shot for that.
Jacob stopped me before I sat down too. "I just wanted to thank you again for coming, Leah. I know we have really messed up your life on you. Not once or twice either." He hugged me and I froze. Why was he hugging me? "Good-bye, Leah."
"Yeah, see ya, Jake," I said awkwardly and patted his back. I smiled when he backed up, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't quite right. It mustn't have been because he laughed at me. I just moved back to my seat and belted up before the steward got snippy with me. We were landing any minute now.
"Good luck, Leah!" I heard shouted from one of the guys down the row. Other passengers were starting to grumble.
"Take care, beeyatch!" Embry called. I flipped him off.
"See ya, Leah!" That was Quil. He had really perked up once we were over the US. I just waved to them all.
"Piss off everyone around you?" Marcus asked.
"Shut up," I complained but smiled as I sat back in my seat.