July 18, Gestahlian year: 1988. Time of Balance and Conquest.
I was summoned to stand in front of the Emperor today. He had asked me to explain my actions from a few days past. I ask him in turn to explain what he meant because I did not understand the question. What actions? Could I have been committing subconscious felons while viewing the visions? Not only is that maddening, it is impossible, they are too quick. The Emperor informed me of one of my opponents from training being inflicted with serious burns. While he was telling me all this I suddenly remembered something quite, well to put it bluntly it was surprising and yet pondering. I purposely burnt my opponent. I remembered I got a strange need to test how much heat I could put into a single stream of flame. I thought about that soldier's burning body now being hosed and scrubbed. I thought about his screams he must admitting, that is if his vocal cords survived. My Emperor asked if it was a simple accident. I replied with honesty a "No."
"You willfully committed such wounds on a fellow soldier General Palazzo?" He asked me with more surprise then I was expecting from him.
"I admit it that I did, yes." I replied again with honesty. "I wished to experiment sir. To find out how hot and how long I could keep my fire going, but I needed a target. So there he was. Just standing there, not even moving. Hard as a stone. I did not want to be hit so, I threw my spell first. He did not even attempt to dodge it!"
"Do you feel any empathy or remorse for this?"
After he said that I stopped to think for a moment. I thought over his question quite a bit. I searched my feelings down to the last one. None of them matched what he had asked. I was almost startled. I caused an innocent man to spend the night, possibly the week in the infirmary. Why did I not even feel the smallest amount of guilt? I kept pondering this until Emperor Gestahl demanded an answer.
"No." I told him. "No sir, I do not. He was slow, weak. He should have been more aware. In battle you cannot just stand and prepare your next move. You must watch your enemy closely, and be ready to act in advance. It is simple. That soldier failed."
Gestahl stared at me. I knew the look. He knew I was right, but he would never admit it. He was going to say something else to make me seem guilty.
"Perhaps but what about that building in the city? If I recall the family of that soldier heard what you did and dropped their dirty dish water on you from their window."
I remembered this also. I was walking in the city, thinking over a failed strategy meeting. General Leo in his entire high and mighty ego told me my idea to weaken the targets with a nerve gas was to drastic, also adding that it was to much like most of my plans presently and it would not work. Everyone agreed, leaving me a laughing stock in front of my own men! I only wanted to let off my embarrassment and anger by going off by myself. Unbeknownst to me word had gone out of my "attack," on the burnt soldier. Coincidentally I walked right under the family of the man's kitchen window. They saw me and yelled "Monster," and threw a bucket of dirty water down on me! Anyone with eyes could see that I was not in a pleasant mood. So I threw a fireball through their window and used an earth spell to shake the building a little. Just to scare them, it was nothing that bad. But the screaming was terrible! You would think I killed one of them!
"That family attacked a head officer of you court. I was also defending myself and my rights as a citizen."
He just stared at me thoughtfully, and then let me be on my way.
"Do not let this happen again. My conquest cannot be impeded by your tantrums!"
"Of course, my lord."
I walked out of that room and pondered another thought which had just come to my mind. Why am I still under this man?