Thankyou everyone sooo much for their reviews last chapter. I'm seriously really happy! Hopefully now I've tried adding more chapters I haven't ruined it, but we'll see.
Her troubles turned worse during the night, and it was then that Brennan knew.
The medication wasn't working.
She wasn't getting any better.
She was going to die.
No, she tried to consult herself, but she knew that her argument was feeble. She could feel herself getting weaker every moment. She felt drained, both pysically and mentally. She had no appetite, but even so she couldn't eat. She was wasting away, a fate that had always scared her.
The only thing that scared her.
She had never told anyone, but whenever she looked at a body, rotting or stuffed in a bag, she was afraid that she might someday end up like that. She knew many people wanted her to stop her work, and would quite gladly kill her, and though she would put on a brave face, inside she was actually scared that it might happen to her. She knew she would die one way, but she wanted a long life.
A life with Booth.
But here she was. Stuck in a hospital. This isn't how she wanted to go. She would have rathered dying nobly, trying to stop a murderer. But no, the circumstances had turned against her, and now she was dying of stomach cancer.
How boring. How unoriginal. How could she tell Booth, the only person who could really support her? She couldn't. She would live with the decision forever, regretting it every day. But she couldn't bring herself to say it, to drop the bomb. What would she do? Hi, Booth. I'm dying of a stomach cancer. Just thought you should know. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.
She didn't know what to do. A feeling that rarely occured in her life.
She thought about the day before. He had said he loved her. He loved her more then anything in this world. Brennan knew that he had meant that, and that was something that filled her heart. Someone actually loved her, and he wasn't lying.
She wasn't used to the feeling.
She had heard the sweetness in his voice. She wanted to hear it again, for him to say once more how he felt. For him to say it like he meant it.
He came in the room as soon as visiting hours were allowed. He greeted her, and then dragged the plastic chair over to the side of her bed, in the same gesture as the previous day.
Brennan was glad he didn't come bearing gifts.
He started with small talk; the weather, the hospital food, anything apart from the concept of love. But Brennan wasn't very responsive, and Booth soon gave up, thinking that he could avoid the subject no longer.
"Booth," she asked, more forceful then gentle. "I need to ask you something." It wasn't a question. It was Brennan being in charge, once again. "You said you love me."
"I do," he said, trying to sound convincing, thinking she was having second thoughts.
"I know that. Why do you do it?"
"What? You're not making much sense, not that that isn't unusual for me but-"
"You've saved my life multiple times, protected me in every situation. Why? What am I worth?"
Booth put his head down. She was always difficult. "You are worth my life, Bones. I would give you the world in a heartbeat. I would do anything to keep you alive. You're the only girl I ever gave all of my love to. I couldn't live with myself if I let you die."
He sat silently, and it was then that Brennan felt something, a force of electricity between them. It was at that moment that she truly believed in love at first sight. She had seen Booth many times before, of course, but she truly loved him. In that moment, she wanted to have a future with her partner, wanted to do everything she had dreamed of with him. She wanted to rin her hands over his thick muscles, to whisper into his ear how much she loved him. And she wanted to hear it back.
She let her mind wander. She was brought back to reality when Booth spoke up.
"And what about you?"
"What do you mean? I've never saved your life."
"I'm pretty sure that's not the case, but that's not my question. What would you do for me?"
She thought about it. There were many things she wanted to say, but she needed something that summed it all up.
"I would die for you, Seeley Booth," she whispered. Little did he know how ironic those words were.
He reached forward, and stroked her cheek. She felt it burn under his palm. "And I would take a bullet for you," he said. "If anything happens to you, I will die. If anything happens to you, I would take a bullet. I would do anything to keep you safe," he promised.
She nearly cried out in protest. He had just promised that he would kill himself if anything happened to her. He couldn't have him dying just because of her. And she knew he would honour his promise. She had to make him break the promise.
But how could she? His eyes, so determined, so oblivious to any argument about the matter. She was speechless.
"Booth," she choked out, her voice catching. "You can't say that."
"I can," he argued. "And I will. You are my life now, and I can't live it without you."
"You have to..." she whispered.
She nearly smacked herself on the head. She had just blurted out that something was wrong. She knew he would question it. But his look, that beautiful jawline, the staggered stubble, had drawn her in, made her oblivious to her secret. And now she would pay the price.
He searched in her eyes. "What's wrong? You have to tell me, Bones. Maybe I can help."
She looked down, averting his eyes. She shook her head. Noone, or nothing, could help her now.
She had to tell him. But she couldn't. "I'm sick," she said simply.
"Why did you ask me those things? What I would do for you?"
"I wanted to hear it one last time."
He straightened up. "What's going on, Tempe," he asked sternly. "You say you're sick. But then you just said that I have to live my life without you, that you wanted to hear me say I love you one last time. I might be a bit slow on some things but this is as clear as water. Something's really wrong, Bones. And you need to tell me." He was trying to be soft yet demanding at the same time.
She could see no alternative route. She had to tell him. He wouldn't leave her alone unless she did.
She varied it slightly, though, not telling him the full extent of the illness.
"I have cancer. And I'm getting better, but I just wanted to hear you say you love me. I didn't want to worry you." Okay, so she varied it a lot. But she wanted him to believe she would be fine. Otherwise he would be a nervous wreck worrying about her every minute of the day.
"You should have told me," he said kindly, taking her face in his hands.
"I didn't want to scare you," she said. He was unleashing all his charm on her, and she was finding it hard to breathe. And then a sharp ripping pain ran through her. She doubled over, unable to stop herself.
"Bones?! What's wrong?! I'll get the doctor!"
"No," she wheezed. "I'm fine."
"Yeah, right. And I'm running for congress."
"Don't call the doctor. It'll be over soon."
Booth still looked like he was going to argue, but found it best to do as she said. Soon she was sitting up normally again. Worry was etched into Booth's face.
"You see?" she said, trying to laugh. "This is why I didn't tell you."
He didn't find it very funny. "I'll be with you every step of the way. Know that."
"No, Booth. You can't. I don't want you getting involved if something turns bad."
"What do you mean?" he asked, a frown forming.
"If I don't get better..." which she wasn't..."I don't want you to do anything stupid. Promise me."
"Ok, but it's going to be hard."
She groaned. "I'm just going to..." she pointed towards the bathroom door, and jumped out of bed. She spent the next few minutes in the bathroom. She threw up more, nothing but blood. She was starting to get really worried – she wasn't getting any better. The medication was doing absolutely nothing.
She stood up from the toilet, and then stumbled. The room spun around her. She reached out, planning to grab anything; the sink, the toilet, the wall. But her hands touched nothing but empty air. She crumpled to the ground, unable to stand any longer. A fire spread through her on impact, and she clutched her stomach. Its contents heaved up through her throat and she retched, blood spilling onto the floor. It caught in her throat, and she started choking.
Her airway stayed blocked. She couldn't breathe. She tried to call to Booth for help, but she couldn't get any air in her lungs. The white flashed behind her eyes, and she bent over in pain. She coughed more, trying to free her throat, but nothing came. She rolled over, the lack of air starting to get to her.
The room darkened, and the pain was swept away into a sea of white.
Slight cliffie. Sorry, I love cliffhangers. That's why a lot of chapters in my stories end with them. Please review - I'll love you! Ha ha seriously, though, please.
Thanks for reading!