Who Are You? Wait, Who Am I?
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it.
I know it's been awhile, but I finally graduated last Friday! Go to school for 13 years, and all you get is a piece of paper with your name on it. I'm feeling ripped-off. I figured I should get this chapter up before I start my summer college class. Math + Summer = Fun. NOT!
Raphael woke up the next morning, wondering why he was feeling so depressed. He slowly rose up and stretched his burly arms. Raphael yawned, roughly rubbing his eyes. He had gotten no sleep last night. His dreams had been filled with images of Mikey screaming in pain as Raphael beat him repeatedly with a metal pipe. He had thought that he had gotten over those dreams. For weeks after that incident, Raphael had had recurring nightmares about what would have happened if Leo hadn't stopped him in time. At first, he had tried to hide the terrible nightmares that plagued him every night.
Soon everyone noticed that Raphael appeared exhausted and that he wouldn't go anywhere near Mikey during training sessions. It got to the point where Raphael completely avoided his little brother. Leo and Don had noticed their brother's unusual behavior, but Splinter told them to let Raphael solve his problems on his own. It was only after Mikey pelted Raphael with paint-filled balloons and Raphael didn't even yell at him that everyone realized that something was seriously wrong. After much persuasion, Splinter had finally gotten Raphael to share his dreams. Raphael reluctantly told his family about how he kept dreaming of himself actually killing Mikey, and how everyone else had shunned him and kicked him out of the lair.
Now the events of the previous day hit Raphael. His little brother was afraid of him. Part of Raphael wanted to just crawl back in his hammock, but another part of him knew it was best to get it over with. Maybe Mikey wouldn't remember any of it. Raphael snorted as he walked out his room. He doubted he would be that lucky. Raphael entered the kitchen and saw that Leo and Don were already eating breakfast. Leo was the first one to notice him standing by the doorway.
"Raph," Leo exclaimed, standing up, "I didn't think you'd be up already after..." He trailed off awkwardly, "You want something to eat?"
Raphael shrugged, "I'll take some cereal." No one said anything as Raphael prepared his breakfast, but he could sense them staring at him. "So where's Mikey?" Raphael asked, trying to act casually as he spooned some Cheerios in his mouth.
"He's with Master Splinter in the training room," Don replied, buttering a piece of toast, "He's hoping meditation will help clear Mikey's mind." Raphael nodded vaguely, pouring some more milk in his bowl. Maybe if he acted like nothing had happened, everyone would just forget about it. Raphael groaned mentally as Leo cleared his throat. Here comes the speech, Raphael thought.
"About yesterday-" Leo began.
"Forget about it, Fearless," Raphael said, hoping his brother would get the hint, " He remembers who you are. That's great." He laughed tonelessly, "At least he knows who I am."
Don stood up and gently placed a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder. "It's common for amnesiac victims to have sudden flashbacks triggered by certain sounds or images." He sighed when he saw his brothers staring blankly at him, "In other words, sparring with Raph probably caused Mikey to remember what happened that day."
"How do I get 'em ta remember somethin' good about me?" Raphael asked, pushing his cereal away and resting his head in his hands.
"Just try to be nice to him, and no losing your temper," Don said, a hint of anger slightly traceable in his voice.
"I got it," Raphael sighed, "Trust me, I learned my lesson."
The three turtles looked up as their youngest brother entered the kitchen. "Hey, Ron and Cheeko," he said cheerfully, not noticing Raphael, "What's for breakfast, or is it dinner?"
"Just cereal and toast, since the rest of us can't cook," Don said.
"Cool," Mikey said, pulling his chair back. He froze as he saw Raphael for the first time. Time seemed to freeze as Don and Leo looked nervously at their younger brothers.
"Hey, Mikey," Raphael said, smiling awkwardly at his little brother, "How you doin'?"
Mikey said nothing, but everyone could see the fear growing in his eyes. He gazed fearfully at Raphael for another second before quickly running out the room.
"Raph-" Leo said uncertainly, sadly watching Raphael stare after his little brother with a crushed look on his face. For a moment, it looked as if Raphael would either burst out in tears or start screaming. However, he just stood up silently and left the kitchen.
"Now what?" Leo asked. Don didn't answer.
For the rest of the day, Mikey refused to go anywhere near Raphael, who was determined to make his little brother trust him again. Leo and Don watched flabbergasted as their normally aggressive brother seemed to turn into the perfect son, offering to do chores and taking orders without any complaints. Despite forgetting their names occasionally, Mikey seemed to have recovered all his memories, easily talking about when he became the Battle Nexus Champion, or the time he used Don's bo staff to unclog the toilet.
However, it soon became obvious that there were gaps in Mikey's memories, and everyone knew who was in those missing pieces. Don said that repressing memories of Raphael was his way of dealing with the trauma, but even he was worried. Other than the pipe incident, Mikey seemed to have no recollection of Raphael. As far as he was concerned, Raphael was out to kill him. It was almost pathetic how desperate Raphael was to get Mikey to remember anything good about him. If Leo didn't know any better, he would have sworn that Raphael had been possessed by another life form.
The irony of it was that before Raphael wanted Mikey to leave him alone, and now he refused to leave his little brother's side. This seemed to convince Mikey farther that Raphael was out to get him, and he became even more afraid of his brother. To his family's surprise, Raphael never lost his temper or even expressed his frustrations, but he could only contain himself for so long.
Splinter had managed to convince Mikey to sit with the rest of them during dinner, but it didn't go unnoticed that he chose the seat furthest away from Raphael. The tension was almost tangible as their pizza was silently eaten.
"That's it!" Raphael shouted, as he slammed his fist on the table, startling everyone, "Come on, Mikey," He said, turning to his little brother, who was watching him nervously, "You've gotta remember me! Sure, I wasn't always nice ta ya, but don't cha remember the good times we had?"
He gazed at his little brother with a desperate pleading in his eyes that no one had ever seen before. Hell had officially frozen over. Leo opened his mouth, but closed it again when Master Splinter gave him a look that clearly said, Let your brothers deal with this on their own.
"I'm not hungry anymore," Mikey mumbled, quickly leaving the room.
"Raph, wait-" Leo said, as Raphael started to run after his little brother.
"No, Leo," Raphael said, turning around at the doorway, "This ends now."
Raphael knew that acting this carelessly wasn't going to help, but he had ran out of ideas. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were. Even though he would never admit it, Raphael missed how Mikey would constantly tease him, which would eventually lead to playful fighting. In a way, he was closer to Mikey than any of his other brothers. When he was stressed or angry, Raphael could always count on Mikey to get his mind off his troubles.
Raphael grabbed Mikey's arm, as he tried to flee to his room. Mikey shrieked and tried to close the door, but Raphael quickly stopped it from slamming with his foot.
"Mikey, I just wanna talk to ya," Raphael said, letting go of his brother, who backed into his room fearfully.
"J-just get away from me," Mikey stuttered, looking terrified, "I know it was you who did this to me."
"I lost control," Raphael choked, blinking away the tears unexpectedly welling in his eyes, "I'll always regret it. How many times do I have ta say I'm sorry?" Raphael sighed, suddenly feeling tired, "Remember how ya always used ta come to me when you had a nightmare? Or how you followed me everywhere, wantin' ta be just like me? Truth is, Mikey, you're my best friend. Can't cha trust me?"
For a long moment, Raphael and Mikey just stared at each other silently. Raphael thought he saw something soften in his little brother's gaze, but then he shook his head.
"No," He whispered, "I can't trust you."