EPOV
"I-I'm not sure if that would be such a good idea," I said. My control around humans so far had been incredibly good, but nonetheless I wasn't willing to take any chances around my best friend's wife and unborn child. Besides, Marie thought I was dead. What would she say if I suddenly walked into her home, looking perfectly healthy, if not a little pale?
"You don't have to stay for long," Jacob assured me. "It's just," he hesitated, "I've missed you, Ed. I haven't had anyone who didn't already know what I was thinking to talk to since you've gone. When we phase, the whole pack knows what I'm thinking and everything I've ever thought. They won't be too happy, I suppose, when they find I've invited a vampire into my home," he smiled.
It was hard to resist giving in. I, too, had been quite lonely since my change. It's not that Carlisle wasn't a good companion, but I'd missed my old life. Sometimes it was hard not to mourn for everything I'd left behind. But, at least I was not dead. And my parents were already gone, so they could not mourn my death.
"Can she come out here?" I asked. "At least, at first. It will be easier in the open, where her scent isn't so enclosed. Besides," I cracked a smile, "I don't know if I could handle such an overload of your repulsing smell on my senses."
"Ha, ha! Good to have you back, Eddy! I'll go get her."
As I concentrated even further on blocking the minds of those around me, I closed my eyes once again. Blocking others became easier and easier every time I attempted it. It was especially easy if there were not many people around. Having two people to block was much easier than having an entire room full.
Her scent hit me the second she stepped outside, followed by Jacob. My eyes snapped open, and I saw Jacob's hands covering her eyes. But I wasn't focused on that because my mind was otherwise occupied with the overload my senses were taking. From outside, I had no idea how amazing Marie smelled. Her blood smelled like freshly picked roses, or some other type of flower. Her scent, however, didn't distract me long, for I found myself looking at her whole form.
To say she was beautiful would be an understatement. Her chocolate brown hair was worn down, falling freely around her shoulders and hanging just below her shoulders. In a yellow, floral sundress, it was easy to see where her stomach was swelling with the life of another, adding the ethereal glow that surrounded her. Seeing her from a window and seeing her full-on were two completely different experiences. Immediately, I was jealous that Jacob got to claim such a beautiful angel.
As Jake removed his hands from her eyes, I watched intently as she took me in. Instead of the surprise I was expecting to see cross her face, she broke into a smile that left me breathless.
"Edward!" she yelled, stepping forth to embrace me in a loose hug. Jacob tensed, and I felt my back stiffen. Never had I been so close to a human, especially one that I found so breathtakingly exquisite. But I was surprised that her blood did not call to me as strongly as others that I hadn't come nearly as close to.
"You remember me?" I asked when she'd released me and stepped back into the arms of her husband.
"Of course! You were the cutest boy in school!" She smiled brightly. "And you were always so nice to me. Jacob's told me so much about how you two used to be so close." Her smile faltered a bit. "I was devastated when Jake came to me after your death. But I supposed it was for the best! After all, your parents were already gone so I thought it would be awful if you were left alone to suffer through their loss."
I was taken aback by her honesty. She knew I'd died? But then how did she think I was standing here before her? Almost as if reading my mind, she said, "I know all about werewolves and vampires, of course. Vampires are much easier to spot than wolves, so I recognized what you were immediately."
"Then why did you hug me?"
"Because, silly!" She looked up to smile at Jacob. "My husband would never have let us meet if he thought you were going to eat me. He would never put us in danger." Her hands came to rest on her abdomen as she said 'us' and her smile brightened even more if physically possible. The entire situation was very confusing, to say the least.
"She's something, isn't she?" Jake asked. I nodded, unaware of anything else to say. When I'd known her, Marie hadn't been quite so bold. It was like she was a different person, but I guess she was now. After all, she was three years older, married, and pregnant. Not all things can stay the same as I can.
We chatted for a while more, and Marie asked about my lifestyle and all I'd done since I was changed. It felt more than uncomfortable to be discussing such matters so casually with her, as if she talked to vampires everyday. The admiration on Jacob's face was clear to see, and I looked away whenever I caught him staring at her, granting him privacy.
My curiosity got the better of me, unfortunately, and I couldn't help but release the block I'd had on the two, if only for a moment. Jake's thoughts were filled with nothing but Marie, and I felt like I was interrupting a private moment between the two of them when he wrapped his arms tighter around her and buried his face in her hair while she chattered on, still talking to me about how she ended up in Forks as a schoolteacher.
"I just love kids!" she enthused. "The way their minds are so innocent, and so open to learning new things." It's what I'll miss most about teaching.
So she wasn't planning to teach anymore? "Won't you continue teaching after you've given birth?" I asked, just to confirm what her thoughts had already told me.
"Oh, of course! I couldn't stand to be alive and not be able to teach." Of course, teaching isn't the same now. The need to leave overcomes the need to teach.
Leave!? Where did she plan on going?
"Of course," I mumbled, putting the block back up. I had no more interest in hearing her thoughts. They all seemed to lead somewhere I was determined to stay away from. "Well, I should be going, then. It's twilight, and I'm sure you two are starving. Especially you, Marie, what with having two people to feed." I smiled at her and watched as she smiled back, although the light that had been in her eyes earlier was now gone.
"Oh, please say you'll come back tomorrow!" Marie begged.
Jacob nodded, although hesitantly. "We enjoyed your company. And I've even gotten used to how awful you smell."
I hesitated for a moment. What would Carlisle think of me returning once I told him of my encounter today? It would be nice to come back, and I'd missed having others to talk to. Surely Carlisle would not be upset with me for talking to people who already knew what I was. So I agreed, and then sped off to return home and tell Carlisle all about the day I'd had.
"Edward?" Esme's concerned voice brought me out of my reverie.
"Yes, Esme?"
I just wanted to check on you. Your siblings are worried, and Alice told me something about a girl at school.She spoke in her mind, knowing it was just as good as speaking aloud, and much easier should she want to have a chance at a private conversation.
"She looks like Marie and smells like a goddess, that's all."
Oh, Edward. Marie...?
I nodded, unable to say anything else and knowing at the same time that I didn't need to. Just the name made Esme understand almost everything.
The others are worried about you, dear.
"Tell them I'm sorry for my earlier behavior, will you?"
Of course.
"Still, I'd rather be alone right now, if you don't mind." Esme sighed, and I turned to look at her for the fist time since she'd entered my room. Her eyes were thick with emotion, worry, and I felt a pang of guilt knowing I was what had caused it. Nonetheless, I couldn't help it.
If you wish. I'll tell the others not to bother you. But, please, dear, Carlisle and I are always here if you need to talk. About...anything.
I gave a curt nod, then watched wordlessly as she turned and left. I wanted to be alone with my memories...
The next day I returned, after a long lecture from Carlisle on keeping our secret safe. I listened as he talked, and assured him that nothing would go wrong. Jacob was a friend, and although we were now natural enemies, we had a past that neither of us could forget that allowed us to overlook that.
Rather than sneak around back again, I decided to chance it and knock on the door. Being invited in would definitely be harder that yesterday, but I was confident that I could manage. And not even the thirstiest vampire would ever attack anyone that smelled as terrible as Jacob did.
As soon as I knocked, I heard the soft sound of footsteps, too light to belong to anyone but Marie, and I smiled when she opened the door. "Hello, Edward! I've been expecting you all day, come in."
She moved aside and I stepped inside of the house, comforted by how small and homey it was. Marie led me into the living room and instructed me to sit on the couch. She promised that she would be right back. I let down the block that I'd put up when I walked in and was happy to hear that her thoughts were normal again, busy with thoughts of what she wanted to eat for lunch and a song she'd heard on the radio that she couldn't stop singing. Relaxed, I put the block back up.
When she returned, she carried a tray filled with fruit, toast, and what appeared to be eggs. Forgetting who I was around, I used my vampire speed to grab the tray from her and set it on the table, and all before she could even realize what was happening I was back on the couch.
"Well," she gasped, frozen where she stood.
"I apologize," I bowed my head, "I just wanted to help you." For some strange reason, since I'd seen Marie yesterday there was this strange current that seemed to be pulling me that continued to grow stronger and stronger. There was an overwhelming urge to protect the young women that stood before me, no matter what. It was all very strange, and a feeling that I was unaccustomed to.
"Do not worry, Edward. You just startled me; I will be fine."
She sat down across from me and smiled as she grabbed an apple and bit into it. "Jacob had to go away on business," she said, answering the question that I'd been too preoccupied to ask.
"Business?" My voice was tight, and suddenly I was tense. Being alone with Marie, a human, did not seem safe to me. It was extremely dangerous, and aside from that it was not appropriate to be alone with another man's wife in his own house.
Marie sighed. "Jacob's work sometimes requires that he travel. He's told me what he does numerous times but I never remember because it's do dull! Whenever he is not working, he is busy with pack matters since he's second in command, so it gets lonely sometimes. That's why I asked you to come back yesterday. Jacob had just been telling me before you arrived that he had to go away again. I have to admit I was a little afraid he wouldn't approve of you coming back while he was away, but he trusts you. My, does he trust you!
"You should have heard him talking about you once you left last night, Edward." She smiled brightly at me and placed a grape in her mouth before continuing. "There is no doubt in my mind that you two were almost like brothers at one time. The way he values your friendship struck me as bizarre, at first; he doesn't even talk about his pack brothers the way he talked about you. But then he told me about how you were the only one who talked to him, at first, because of how he looked. That's one of the things I hate here," she frowned. "People think that I shouldn't have married him, just because he's Native American. That is also why we live on the border. The elders down in La Push don't want me living there, and folks in Forks don't want Jacob living there. It's all so incredibly stupid! Why should it matter? We love each other. But..."
The way she trailed off left me waiting for more, but I didn't want to be impolite and pry. Her eyes seemed so sad, too. It hurt to see her in such obvious pain, but I didn't know what to do. And then, as suddenly as it had come, the sadness left and her smile returned.
"Enough of that, though! We can talk about that later. Please, tell me about this Carlisle that you mentioned yesterday while I eat. I've been so lonely without any friends here, and now it seems I've found one. If Jacob can share," she winked.
Just as she asked, I told her about Carlisle and his history, and of how he was now a doctor. She listened intently, rarely stopping me to ask questions. It was nice being able to talk to her, and I found myself loosening up.
Days passed, and Jacob still hadn't returned. Everyday at twilight, I would leave Marie and return early the next morning. Eventually, Marie explained that Jacob probably wouldn't be back for another week or two. She told me how she used to entertain herself while he was gone, and we would play cards and checkers, just enjoying each other's company. The more time we spent together, the closer our bond became.
But unlike the usual bond between male and female, this was something entirely different. I had no romantic feelings for Marie, and on the rare occasion in which I would loosen my block to read her mind, I saw that she had no romantic feelings for me. Instead, it was as if Marie was my younger sister and I had to do everything to make sure that she was happy, or I would not be. Whenever she needed anything, I made it so that she had it. Her pregnancy was progressing lovely, and it seemed like each day she glowed more and more.
While the rest of her glowed, however, her eyes became more dull with each passing day. At first, I assumed that it was just because she missed Jacob, and I swore to myself that I would not intrude upon her thoughts to find out. It would be rude, and I felt that until I told her I could read her thoughts I had no right to do so.
One late afternoon after I'd gone hunting, I continued on to Marie's as usual. Tomorrow, Jacob would be returning. I could not wait to see my old friend, but I wanted to inform Marie that I would not be coming back tomorrow because I wanted her husband to have a nice homecoming. I planned to tell her that I promised to return the next day, though.
When I knocked on the door and no one answered, I was immediately worried. Marie never left the house and I'd made sure just yesterday that she had enough food to nourish herself. No sounds came from inside, and there was an intense feeling that told me something was not right. Carefully, I let my block fall.
Not much longer, and it will all be overMarie's thoughts came to me. The pills should work soon. I'm already getting tired. Please, Dear God, forgive me. Let Jacob know I'm not doing this to hurt him; it's just something I have to do. I can't have this baby.
Without a second thought, I broke the lock on the door and ran inside and up the stairs to where I heard Marie's irregular breathing. She lay sprawled out on a bed, eyes closed and her skin deathly pale. A glass of water sat on the table next to the bed, as well as a bottle of pills. Torturously slow, I could hear her heartbeat continue to slow in pace, and I cried out in pain.
"Marie!" I was at her side instantly, shaking her gently, trying not to break her. "Marie, open your eyes! What have you done!?"
Edward? He's here? But he sounds so sad. Why is he so sad? Isn't everything okay now?
"Edward?" her voice sounded tiny and small, not like the woman I'd grown to know who was so sure of herself, so confident. Now, she sounded like a small girl calling out for help.
"I'm here, I'm here. Marie, what have you done?! Tell me what you've done," I commanded, trying not to let the desperation in my voice seep out.
The note. I should have written him one as well, but it's too late now. I'm so weak. It's so hard to talk.
"I love you, Edward," she whispered. "And Jacob, too. Tell him that, for me?"
"No!" I cried. "No! You can tell him yourself when he gets here tomorrow." I kneeled at her bedside, my face inches from hers. "Just open your eyes for me, please. Take my hand and open your eyes." Her hand was clammy, and her pulse quickly losing speed. But the grip wasn't as weak as I expected and for that I was thankful. Maybe this could be reversed. Slowly—painfully, excruciatingly slow—she opened her eyes, and for once I finally saw complete peace. It broke my heart.
He's so beautiful. One day, he will make someone as happy as he's made me these past weeks. And he'll forget me, and be loved like he deserves to be loved. Like Jacob loved me. Only this girl will love Edward back like I couldn't love Jake.
"Tell him?" she repeated. "Swear you'll tell him."
Unable to bear it any longer, I nodded. I couldn't deny her anything. And seeing the peace in her eyes, like she was free once and for all, was all it took for me to break down.
"Goodbye, Edward."
Tearless sobs racked my frame, and while I was unable to look at her, I never once let go of her hand. Not even when I felt her hand loosen around mine, and her heart beat stop once and for all. Soon, I could not even hear that small drumming sound—the almost, and now, non-existent heartbeat—that belonged to Jacob's now-dead child.
Not aware of anything but Marie, of the paleness of her skin, of the small smile that remained on her lips; I scooped her up in my arms and held her. I stroked her long hair and continued to sob as the warmth left her body for good. My thoughts filled with images of her running around with a little black-haired girl in a place so beautiful and bright that a monster like me would never be allowed in.
The sun fell, and I remained. It wasn't until I'd regained some form of sanity that I was able to remember the note she'd mentioned, and was able to lay her gently onto her bed once more. On the table with the very substances that had caused her death was an envelope with Jacob's name etched into it perfectly. With trembling hands, I picked it up and opened it, afraid of what I would find.
Dear Jacob,
If you're reading this then you know now what I've done. Please, please forgive me,
Jake. I had to do this, it was the only way. I loved you. I still love you, and will forever,
even in death. But you must know that it just wasn't the right kind of love. I loved you
the way that a sister loves her brother. From the first day I met you, I was comfortable.
I have always felt safe in your presence, and secure in you love. However, I was trapped,
Jacob, with no way out. This life that we had wasn't for me. The child growing inside me
was more yours than mine. It was just another reminder that I didn't love you like I should.
Had I stayed, and given birth, I would have loved the child more than anything in the entire
world. More than you, more than my own life even. But I wouldn't be able to show it the kind
of love that should be between a man and a woman, because I never experienced that kind of love.
I didn't want my child to grow up in a place like that. Because if I'd stayed with you, Jacob,
I know that I wouldn't have been happy. Eventually, I would have left. And taken our child with
us. But I would have no where to go. My family has abandoned me for choosing you, and I don't
regret that because you were my best friend and at one point I really did love you like I should
have. But it has made things so much harder, and would have made things harder for our child,
as well. All that I can say now is sorry. I'm sorry, Jacob. I truly am. Just know I love you, but it
wasn't the right kind anymore. I'm happy now. I'm in a better place. And Edward has made the
last few weeks bearable for me. Know that I haven't been lonely, and that he had no idea what I was
planning. Be there for each other, because Edward cares about you. Natural enemies has nothing
over best friends, especially when you can help each other grow stronger.
All my love,
Your Wife
I read the letter over and over, not comprehending anything. It was impossible. Marie had not killed herself. I was just in a horrible, horrible dream. There was no way I had watched her die, unable to do anything but wish time could turn back. But I knew that it was all true, and that this was her suicide note, confirming everything. Jacob would return tomorrow to find her, and he would read the letter and blame himself, I was sure of it. How could he not? I was blaming myself even as I read the letter.
If I hadn't been so concerned with her privacy, I would have read her thoughts. I could have stopped this from happening. Had I done something sooner, had I been honest with her and open, then Marie would not be dead right now, and neither would her unborn baby.
My thoughts turned to my friend, and I sobbed even more for him. I couldn't let him find her like this. He would blame himself, and it would tear him apart from the inside out until there was nothing left for him. I'd already lost one person important to me; I could not lose two. So I stuffed the letter Marie had written in my pocket and searched around for a new piece of paper and a pen.
Dear Jacob,
Forgive me. She loved you more than anything. Believe what
ever you like, but I truly am sorry. For her sake, stay and continue
on like you know she would have wanted you to.
Edward
Replacing her note in the envelope with mine, I sealed it once more and laid it on the bed next to her body. Then I cleared the glass of water and empty pill bottle, erasing the traces of evidence. What I did next was almost unimaginable. As carefully as I could, making sure her heart really was no longer beating, I raised her wrist to my lips. And bit.
Careful not to drink any of her blood, I created two perfect half-moons on each of her wrists, making it appear as if I had killed her. The ultimate self-sacrifice. I was so overcome with grief that the scent that filled the room had no effect on me whatsoever. Night had come and gone, and Jacob would be here soon. I would make sure to be gone when he arrived, but I just wanted to watch her as long as I could. How could I have missed how sad she was? Why hadn't she told me?
With a kiss upon her head, and a soft peck on her cold lips, I whispered my love to her and then fled home to Carlisle. It was time to leave.
And that was how it ended.
Now, do you see? Edward and Marie were just as close as friends could be. I don't think I described that all too well, though, you know? But anyway, if you don't review, I might just stpo the story all together. I mean, really. I didn't even get a review telling me how bad last chapter sucked. I don't care if you don't like it, review! So at least I know SOMEONE out there read it. Thanks!