Title: Picking Up the Pieces Chapter 4
Author: Dawn
Summary: Spike finds something to live for when he thinks that there is nothing left. S/D friendship
Spoilers: Takes place after "As You Were." AU after that.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Joss owns everything but here lately I feel like I know his characters better than he does.
Distribution: Anywhere but please ask first.
Feedback: It's what got me off my butt to write this fourth chapter.
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Awareness was slow in coming and when it finally arrived Spike wished someone would knock him unconscious, again. His whole body felt as if it had been hit by a truck and then said truck had backed over him just to be sure. But worse than his broken ribs and leg was the blazing pain in his skull. He moaned and tried to lift his hands to massage his temples but his arms weren't obeying the slightest command. But someone else was there to understand what he needed. He felt tiny hands at the sides of his head and they began to rub in soft, gentle circles just above his ears. He would have sighed in pleasure if the rest of his body hadn't been clamoring for him to notice its pain too.
He slowly opened his eyes and was met with an impish grin and relieved blue eyes. Dawn. He tried to smile back just to reassure her but it seemed his face wasn't working either.
"Do you need something for the pain? I think there's some old pain medicine of Mom's from when she was sick. I could get it for you." He finally convinced one of his arms to reach up and take her hand in his.
"S'ok sweet bit. Won't work anyway. No circulation. Just got to grimace and bear it." She gripped his hand firmly; as if trying to convey to him just how worried she had been in that single touch.
"Are you hungry? Buffy got blood before she had to go to work. We've been taking shifts."
Good God, how long had he been here?
"You were out for 3 days. Buffy was beginning to worry. She even called Giles. Big step considering she hasn't quite forgiven him for leaving yet. So do you need some?"
"Not hungry right now pigeon. Hurts too much. Just need to sleep."
"No. Buffy said that you had to drink blood to get better. That's why she was so freaked out. We couldn't get you to eat anything. We just knew any second you were gonna go poof." Spike laced his finger with hers and pulled her around till she was sitting beside him. He needed to be able to see her. She looked okay so the fight must have ended in their favor. He couldn't remember much after his head had been slammed into the wall.
"You and big sis okay? None of the nasties got a piece of her did they?"
"No, she's fine. Dusted all eight in record time. I've never seen her like that. Spike, what happened? I mean, I know you were outnumbered but I've seen you take on at least that many bad guys before and come out with a grin. What was different?" He closed his eyes and contemplated whether or not he should tell her what he suspected. Would she tell Buffy? Would Buffy stake him right away or wait for him to screw up? No, she would keep his secret and he'd know if he could trust her by the reaction to his news.
"The chip." She looked confused for a moment and then realization struck her.
"I don't get it. How do you know it doesn't work? They were vampires. You've always been able to fight them." She hadn't pulled away and the look of fear he'd expected to appear in her eyes had yet to show itself. She loved him too much for her own good.
"When the big one ran my head into the wall the chip went all wonky. It hurt to hit them. Just as if they were human. Hurt long enough for them to rearrange my innards. Then my head went numb and that little electric hum I can always here in my noggin stopped. So I figure the chip must have gotten fried somehow. I mean, I haven't tried it out or anything, it's just a theory." He could see the wheels turning in her head.
"And if you dare ask me to test it out on you I'll beat you senseless regardless if it still works and zaps the top of my head off." Her shoulders slumped as her plan was thwarted before she could even suggest it.
"I could call Xander. You could test it out on him." She said brightly. He would have laughed if he hadn't started coughing and clutching his protesting ribs.
"Don't think I would be able to stop myself from pummeling him to death once I got started." She nodded her head in understanding.
"Well our weekend was blown. Hard to paint a room with a broken leg and cracked ribs." Dawn said with mock indignation. Spike quelled the urge to laugh and smiled instead. He took a quick look down and confirmed that he did in fact have broken ribs and the mentioned broken leg. Lucky for him his whole body hurt equally so there was no one pain over all the rest.
Most of the bruises were fading though so that was a good sign that his vampire healing was still a go even without the blood. But he knew the bones would never mend if he didn't have some soon. He forced his body into an upright position under much protest from the younger Summers.
"Bloody hell," he hissed under his breath as he set his feet on the floor.
"Spike, what the hell do you think you're doing!" He looked up with the parental look of "watch you language" and then stood up shakily favoring his injured limb.
"I'm going home." She actually looked quite funny with that stunned "Spike is so stupid" look on her face.
"Are you insane? You can't go home. You can't even walk! This first demon to run into you would tear you to bits! You can't just leave all by yourself!" He turned from the bottom of the steps gripping the rail for support.
"Well then I suggest you help me." She huffed in frustration when she realized that it was useless. He was even more stubborn than Buffy if that was possible and she knew that once he'd made up his mind there was no changing it. She grabbed his arm and began the arduous journey up the basement steps and left him sitting on the couch in the den while she grabbed her discarded overnight bag.
"Couldn't we have at least called a cab?" she complained as they made their way awkwardly down Rovello Drive.
"Yeah and you could explain why you're out with a man twice your age in the middle of the night who has no reflection in the rearview mirror." He hated that he had to lean on her so much but his leg was killing him, no pun intended. She was surprisingly strong though and other than the cab comment she bore his weight without complaint.
They finally reached the apartment and Dawn dug around in her jean pocket for the key. She got the door open and helped Spike into his room.
"You want a shower before you get in the bed? I know you've got to feel all grimy from the blood." As tired as he was it did sound appealing. Dawn got everything set up for him. She turned on the shower and got it steaming hot. She hung a towel close so he wouldn't have to reach for it. She laid out a T-shirt (white this time) and a pair of black silk pajama bottoms, a gift from her, and laid them on his bed.
"OK, everything's set. If you need me to wash your back just holler," she grinned on her way out of the door. Spike was so shocked he couldn't even think of a witty comeback.
The hot water felt like heaven. His body didn't really register temperature unless it was extreme. He could feel himself warming to it. The water was tinged red for a full minute before it finally ran clear. He washed off and washed his hair being careful of the extremely sore spot on the side of his skull. He'd have to deal with all of those implications later. He knew the minute Buffy found out his time with Dawn would be over. The only reason she let him within ten feet of her sister now was because she knew he couldn't hurt her even if he wanted to, which was absurd. He'd turn to dust before he'd hurt his Bit and Buffy bloody well knew it.
He realized he'd been in the shower for quite a while and that Dawn was probably worried enough to come check on him so he turned it off. He opened the door and found his towel hanging right next to it. He stopped for a moment just to wonder at the fact that there was someone in this world that loved him and cared enough to do such a seemingly insignificant thing for him. He shook his head and grabbed the terrycloth. He secured it around his waist once he'd dried off and stepped into his bedroom. Dawn was sitting propped up again the headboard looking worriedly at the door.
"God, I thought you'd drowned or fallen and hit your head or something." Her voice was strained.
"Sorry. Took a bit longer than I meant to." He reached for the T-shirt and tried to drag it over his head. He winced and put his arm down. His ribs hurt like the devil. He could here the sheets whisper as Dawn moved closer. She took the shirt out of his hands and grabbing the neck she pushed it over his tousled blond curls and helped him put his arms through. She pulled it down till it covered his chest and sat back on her heels to look at the finished product.
"There. See if you'd just asked to begin with your ribs wouldn't be hating you right now." He glowered at her and held up the pants. She shrieked and left the room in a flash. He couldn't help but chuckle as he dropped the towel and carefully pulled them on. He sat on the bed and pulled himself up to the pillow. A few minutes later a timid knock sounded at the door and Dawn appeared with a mug of warm blood.
"Sorry it's not human. Buffy won't let me go to Willie's by myself."
"Good." He sipped the lukewarm liquid and then gulped the whole thing down. He saw the disgusted look on Dawn's face when he sat the cup down.
"I don't care how often I see you do that I will never get used to it." Spike grinned and lay back on the pillow.
"You gonna be okay?" She asked concerned.
He opened his eyes and starred at the amazing person standing beside of him.
"Yeah, bit. I think I am." She ran her fingers through his soft blond hair, leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. She picked up the empty mug and left the room turning off the light as she went. That strange warm feeling in his chest was disconcerting. It had taken him a while to get used to Dawn's random acts of affection. And he'd been away from her so long while he and Buffy had been going through their "shag each other senseless" stage that it surprised him once again. Buffy was so taciturn in her ability to show emotion that it had quite shocked him at first how free Dawn was with hers. She would often hug him or hold his hand or give him quick pecks on the cheek. It made him extremely uncomfortable until he realized there was no ulterior motive to it. It was just Dawn. She did not try to temper her feelings for people the way Buffy had learned to. Her face and expressions were an open book. If she loved you, you knew it and if she didn't then you'd better watch out.
Spike sighed and finally drifted off to sleep.
Dawn woke so suddenly she fell off the couch. She groaned aloud as she sat up and nearly had a heart attack when she saw the sunlight creeping around the heavy drapes in the living room. Buffy was gonna kill her. She jumped up and raced down the hall to Spike's room. He was still sleeping so she penned him a quick note and left it on the nightstand by his bed along with another mug full of warm blood. She ran all the way home. She only slowed when she got to her own front door. She inserted the key and pushed slowly. The house was quiet. Well, it was until Buffy came around the corner from the dining room.
"Dawn Summers! Where have you been? I have been up since I got home from work worried sick about you. I come in here to Spike gone and you missing! Where were you?" Buffy's hands were placed firmly on her hips and for just a moment Dawn could have sworn she was channeling their mother. She closed the door with a soft click and leaned against it. She was dead tired and bone weary. All she wanted was a shower and her bed, not necessarily in that order.
"I was at Spike's."
"And why was Spike at Spike's? He had no business even getting up! He was half dead!"
"You said he was all right!"
"Well I lied!" Buffy yelled.
"Is everything okay down here?" Both girls looked up at a bleary-eyed Willow who stood at the top of the stairs.
"Yes!" they both shouted in unison.
"Great." Willow turned and went back to bed.
"Dawn, do you know how dangerous it was to move him as injured as he was?"
"You try making Spike not do something he's set his mind to and see how far you get," Dawn said defensively. Buffy opened her mouth and realized her little sister knew the vampire pretty well.
"Fine. He made you take him home. You could have called."
"I would have but after his shower and getting him to bed I was exhausted and I."
"His what?" Dawn rolled her eyes and started for the stairs.
"Give it a rest Buffy. Spike never has any intention of taking advantage of me, ever. Not that I would mind." She realized what she'd just said and hurried to cover. "But he sees no other woman but you. Not to mention he's like my brother or something so eww gross." She hoped that would put her sister's overactive imagination to rest. It seemed to do the trick.
"Well, next time you know you're gonna be out all night at least call me first. And I don't mean on a date so get that hopeful expression off your face. I meant when you're at Spike's." Buffy ran shaking fingers through her already messy hair and took a deep calming breath. She finally asked what she had been dying to all along.
"How is he?" Dawn couldn't hide her grin.
"He's okay. Most of the bruises are gone and after some blood and sleep the bones should be back to normal. His head however." Oops. Best not to tell Buffy about that just yet.
"His head?" Dawn stuttered and tried to think up something, anything.
"Yeah, his head got banged up pretty bad. Heck of a headache he said. But he was sleeping okay when I left. I'm gonna hit the sack if it's okay with you. I'm spent." Without another word she turned and ran up the stairs to her room. She was asleep in seconds.
Buffy stood at the bottom of the steps and looked around the empty room. It should have been her. She should have been the one to help him with his shower and into bed and baby him with warm blood and.. She shook her head to clear such thoughts. Again she had to tell herself that this is what she wanted. She had wanted him out of her life and he was, mostly. But every time Dawn came home with stories about the things they had done or something funny Spike had said it cut a little deeper each time. She missed him. It was as simple as that. But she didn't miss the way they had been. She missed something they had never had. She missed what Dawn had with him. An easiness, a friendship and a knowing that he would never fail her. She pushed her hair out of her face and forced herself not to burst into tears, again.
Spike was sleeping rather peacefully when someone began knocking on his bedroom door. He tried to drown out the noise by pulling the pillow over his head but they just kept doing it.
"Sod off!" he yelled, sticking his head out from under the pillow for only a moment. He heard the click as the door was opened. He peeked just out of curiosity and was not surprised to see Dawn there with her backpack slung over her shoulder.
"I guess you must be feeling better if you can yell at me." She said coming over and plopping down on the bed next to him. A grunt was her only response.
"What's with the bag? Don't tell me you actually made it to school today."
She gave it a glance and sat it down on the floor.
"No, I slept all day. I left Buffy a note that I was gonna stay here tonight and catch the bus in the morning. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, it's all right unless Big Sis gets a notion to have the Wicca do a locater spell for you." Dawn just shrugged and scooted back further on the bed.
"She would never do that. She knows that you don't want her to know where you live and no matter how bad she may have treated you she'd still have this weird honor thing about going against your wishes."
"Yeah, I get that. Bloody hero types." He scoffed.
Dawn finally encouraged (or nagged) him to get up and come in the den so they could at least watch TV together. She set him up on the couch with a throw (as if he could get any colder) and another mug of blood. She was determined to mother him to death and he let her because she needed to do it. They watched this and that until the sun had set and it grew darker. Dawn fell asleep with her feet in his lap and her head on a pillow.
Spike didn't know when he stopped watching the tube and started watching her. She was an extraordinary girl. At times, Spike thought she must be the strongest of all of them. So much had been placed on her thin shoulders and even with a hysterical break down or two she had adjusted and gone on. He knew it had been difficult on her when Buffy died. Their summer together after her sister's death had been a healing time for both of them. And they'd both been thrown back into turmoil when Buffy had suddenly been not dead. He'd been so shocked that he hadn't noticed Dawn fade into the background. He hadn't even realized she was screaming silently for help until the fateful birthday party. In so many ways she reminded him of Joyce. A strong, comforting presence not always seen but always there.
"Oh, mum. You'd be so proud of her." He whispered into the empty room.
Again Dawn woke to the sun slithering around the drawn curtains. She pushed herself up off the couch and yawned. At some point Spike had thrown the blanket over her and gone to bed. She glanced at the clock on the VCR and nearly panicked. She had thirty minutes to get ready and make the bus. She tried to be quiet as she changed in the bathroom and quickly brushed her teeth. She checked in on Spike quickly before leaving to find him fast asleep. She grabbed her bag and headed out the door.
By 5:00 p.m. Spike was worried. By 6:00 p.m. Spike was well beyond worried. He had never panicked before so he didn't know if this is what it felt like but since he'd never had this feeling before this had to be it. He walked repeatedly from him room to the front door and kept looking out the peep hole to be sure she wasn't there yet. By 6:30 he couldn't stand it anymore. Dawn had told him she was coming over right after school. That should have been 2 hours ago at least. He was going to have to swallow his pride and go to Buffy's house. He waited till the sun had gone completely down before taking his motorcycle and heading for the school. He searched the grounds and knew there couldn't be anyone there. The place was deserted. He got back on his bike and rode the familiar streets to Buffy's home. He raced into the driveway and skidded to a stop leaving a black mark halfway up the cement. He jumped off and ran to the door.
Buffy heard the banging from kitchen. She had just finished washing up the supper dishes when it started. She ran to the door and threw it open. Her heart leapt up in her throat when she saw Spike standing on her doorstep.
"Spike?" she wasn't questioning if it was really him just that he was really here. But he wasn't even looking at her. He was looking past her into the house.
"Is she here?" Buffy was so shocked to see him his question took a minute to register.
"What?"
"Is she here? Is Dawn here?" Buffy's heart that had been in her throat was now at her feet and frozen with fear. Her head was shaking the negative before she could even get the words out of her mouth.
"No. She told me she was going to your place after school? She's not there?" She knew how stupid that sounded the minute the words left her mouth. "No moron, Spike is here scared to death because Dawn is sitting on his sofa eating chips," she chided herself. Spike just gave her a look and turned away.
"Hey! Where are you going?" She yelled to his back. He swung around and stomped back up the door.
"I'm gonna go find Dawn. You can carry on as usual." She actually shrank away from him as is he'd punched her. Then the anger and rage set in.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She grabbed his leather-clad arm and swung him to face her.
"It means you've gotten accustomed to life without her, Slayer." Ugh, she hated when he called her that. "It means she would rather live with, and I quote, 'an evil, disgusting thing' than her own sister. She feels like it makes your life easier. And whether or not you notice she's doing it that's exactly what she's doing. Trying to make your life easier by removing herself from it." Buffy was frozen in place. She couldn't even muster tears. She was too horrified by the words coming out of his mouth. And even more horrified to realize that was exactly what her little sister was doing. Shaking the thoughts from her head she looked up into his piercing blue eyes.
"I'm coming with you."
"No."
"No?" she couldn't believe him.
"No. It's better if we split up. You go to her chums. Call 'em; knock on their doors whatever. Just see if she's there or when they last saw her. I'll hit the underbelly. I'm more likely to get info without the Slayer by my side. I'll check back here in a couple of hours to see if you found anything." With that he did walk away. He revved the bike and tore out of the driveway.
Shaking away feelings of guilt and self-recrimination, Buffy sprinted to the kitchen to start calling around.
Author: Dawn
Summary: Spike finds something to live for when he thinks that there is nothing left. S/D friendship
Spoilers: Takes place after "As You Were." AU after that.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Joss owns everything but here lately I feel like I know his characters better than he does.
Distribution: Anywhere but please ask first.
Feedback: It's what got me off my butt to write this fourth chapter.
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Awareness was slow in coming and when it finally arrived Spike wished someone would knock him unconscious, again. His whole body felt as if it had been hit by a truck and then said truck had backed over him just to be sure. But worse than his broken ribs and leg was the blazing pain in his skull. He moaned and tried to lift his hands to massage his temples but his arms weren't obeying the slightest command. But someone else was there to understand what he needed. He felt tiny hands at the sides of his head and they began to rub in soft, gentle circles just above his ears. He would have sighed in pleasure if the rest of his body hadn't been clamoring for him to notice its pain too.
He slowly opened his eyes and was met with an impish grin and relieved blue eyes. Dawn. He tried to smile back just to reassure her but it seemed his face wasn't working either.
"Do you need something for the pain? I think there's some old pain medicine of Mom's from when she was sick. I could get it for you." He finally convinced one of his arms to reach up and take her hand in his.
"S'ok sweet bit. Won't work anyway. No circulation. Just got to grimace and bear it." She gripped his hand firmly; as if trying to convey to him just how worried she had been in that single touch.
"Are you hungry? Buffy got blood before she had to go to work. We've been taking shifts."
Good God, how long had he been here?
"You were out for 3 days. Buffy was beginning to worry. She even called Giles. Big step considering she hasn't quite forgiven him for leaving yet. So do you need some?"
"Not hungry right now pigeon. Hurts too much. Just need to sleep."
"No. Buffy said that you had to drink blood to get better. That's why she was so freaked out. We couldn't get you to eat anything. We just knew any second you were gonna go poof." Spike laced his finger with hers and pulled her around till she was sitting beside him. He needed to be able to see her. She looked okay so the fight must have ended in their favor. He couldn't remember much after his head had been slammed into the wall.
"You and big sis okay? None of the nasties got a piece of her did they?"
"No, she's fine. Dusted all eight in record time. I've never seen her like that. Spike, what happened? I mean, I know you were outnumbered but I've seen you take on at least that many bad guys before and come out with a grin. What was different?" He closed his eyes and contemplated whether or not he should tell her what he suspected. Would she tell Buffy? Would Buffy stake him right away or wait for him to screw up? No, she would keep his secret and he'd know if he could trust her by the reaction to his news.
"The chip." She looked confused for a moment and then realization struck her.
"I don't get it. How do you know it doesn't work? They were vampires. You've always been able to fight them." She hadn't pulled away and the look of fear he'd expected to appear in her eyes had yet to show itself. She loved him too much for her own good.
"When the big one ran my head into the wall the chip went all wonky. It hurt to hit them. Just as if they were human. Hurt long enough for them to rearrange my innards. Then my head went numb and that little electric hum I can always here in my noggin stopped. So I figure the chip must have gotten fried somehow. I mean, I haven't tried it out or anything, it's just a theory." He could see the wheels turning in her head.
"And if you dare ask me to test it out on you I'll beat you senseless regardless if it still works and zaps the top of my head off." Her shoulders slumped as her plan was thwarted before she could even suggest it.
"I could call Xander. You could test it out on him." She said brightly. He would have laughed if he hadn't started coughing and clutching his protesting ribs.
"Don't think I would be able to stop myself from pummeling him to death once I got started." She nodded her head in understanding.
"Well our weekend was blown. Hard to paint a room with a broken leg and cracked ribs." Dawn said with mock indignation. Spike quelled the urge to laugh and smiled instead. He took a quick look down and confirmed that he did in fact have broken ribs and the mentioned broken leg. Lucky for him his whole body hurt equally so there was no one pain over all the rest.
Most of the bruises were fading though so that was a good sign that his vampire healing was still a go even without the blood. But he knew the bones would never mend if he didn't have some soon. He forced his body into an upright position under much protest from the younger Summers.
"Bloody hell," he hissed under his breath as he set his feet on the floor.
"Spike, what the hell do you think you're doing!" He looked up with the parental look of "watch you language" and then stood up shakily favoring his injured limb.
"I'm going home." She actually looked quite funny with that stunned "Spike is so stupid" look on her face.
"Are you insane? You can't go home. You can't even walk! This first demon to run into you would tear you to bits! You can't just leave all by yourself!" He turned from the bottom of the steps gripping the rail for support.
"Well then I suggest you help me." She huffed in frustration when she realized that it was useless. He was even more stubborn than Buffy if that was possible and she knew that once he'd made up his mind there was no changing it. She grabbed his arm and began the arduous journey up the basement steps and left him sitting on the couch in the den while she grabbed her discarded overnight bag.
"Couldn't we have at least called a cab?" she complained as they made their way awkwardly down Rovello Drive.
"Yeah and you could explain why you're out with a man twice your age in the middle of the night who has no reflection in the rearview mirror." He hated that he had to lean on her so much but his leg was killing him, no pun intended. She was surprisingly strong though and other than the cab comment she bore his weight without complaint.
They finally reached the apartment and Dawn dug around in her jean pocket for the key. She got the door open and helped Spike into his room.
"You want a shower before you get in the bed? I know you've got to feel all grimy from the blood." As tired as he was it did sound appealing. Dawn got everything set up for him. She turned on the shower and got it steaming hot. She hung a towel close so he wouldn't have to reach for it. She laid out a T-shirt (white this time) and a pair of black silk pajama bottoms, a gift from her, and laid them on his bed.
"OK, everything's set. If you need me to wash your back just holler," she grinned on her way out of the door. Spike was so shocked he couldn't even think of a witty comeback.
The hot water felt like heaven. His body didn't really register temperature unless it was extreme. He could feel himself warming to it. The water was tinged red for a full minute before it finally ran clear. He washed off and washed his hair being careful of the extremely sore spot on the side of his skull. He'd have to deal with all of those implications later. He knew the minute Buffy found out his time with Dawn would be over. The only reason she let him within ten feet of her sister now was because she knew he couldn't hurt her even if he wanted to, which was absurd. He'd turn to dust before he'd hurt his Bit and Buffy bloody well knew it.
He realized he'd been in the shower for quite a while and that Dawn was probably worried enough to come check on him so he turned it off. He opened the door and found his towel hanging right next to it. He stopped for a moment just to wonder at the fact that there was someone in this world that loved him and cared enough to do such a seemingly insignificant thing for him. He shook his head and grabbed the terrycloth. He secured it around his waist once he'd dried off and stepped into his bedroom. Dawn was sitting propped up again the headboard looking worriedly at the door.
"God, I thought you'd drowned or fallen and hit your head or something." Her voice was strained.
"Sorry. Took a bit longer than I meant to." He reached for the T-shirt and tried to drag it over his head. He winced and put his arm down. His ribs hurt like the devil. He could here the sheets whisper as Dawn moved closer. She took the shirt out of his hands and grabbing the neck she pushed it over his tousled blond curls and helped him put his arms through. She pulled it down till it covered his chest and sat back on her heels to look at the finished product.
"There. See if you'd just asked to begin with your ribs wouldn't be hating you right now." He glowered at her and held up the pants. She shrieked and left the room in a flash. He couldn't help but chuckle as he dropped the towel and carefully pulled them on. He sat on the bed and pulled himself up to the pillow. A few minutes later a timid knock sounded at the door and Dawn appeared with a mug of warm blood.
"Sorry it's not human. Buffy won't let me go to Willie's by myself."
"Good." He sipped the lukewarm liquid and then gulped the whole thing down. He saw the disgusted look on Dawn's face when he sat the cup down.
"I don't care how often I see you do that I will never get used to it." Spike grinned and lay back on the pillow.
"You gonna be okay?" She asked concerned.
He opened his eyes and starred at the amazing person standing beside of him.
"Yeah, bit. I think I am." She ran her fingers through his soft blond hair, leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. She picked up the empty mug and left the room turning off the light as she went. That strange warm feeling in his chest was disconcerting. It had taken him a while to get used to Dawn's random acts of affection. And he'd been away from her so long while he and Buffy had been going through their "shag each other senseless" stage that it surprised him once again. Buffy was so taciturn in her ability to show emotion that it had quite shocked him at first how free Dawn was with hers. She would often hug him or hold his hand or give him quick pecks on the cheek. It made him extremely uncomfortable until he realized there was no ulterior motive to it. It was just Dawn. She did not try to temper her feelings for people the way Buffy had learned to. Her face and expressions were an open book. If she loved you, you knew it and if she didn't then you'd better watch out.
Spike sighed and finally drifted off to sleep.
Dawn woke so suddenly she fell off the couch. She groaned aloud as she sat up and nearly had a heart attack when she saw the sunlight creeping around the heavy drapes in the living room. Buffy was gonna kill her. She jumped up and raced down the hall to Spike's room. He was still sleeping so she penned him a quick note and left it on the nightstand by his bed along with another mug full of warm blood. She ran all the way home. She only slowed when she got to her own front door. She inserted the key and pushed slowly. The house was quiet. Well, it was until Buffy came around the corner from the dining room.
"Dawn Summers! Where have you been? I have been up since I got home from work worried sick about you. I come in here to Spike gone and you missing! Where were you?" Buffy's hands were placed firmly on her hips and for just a moment Dawn could have sworn she was channeling their mother. She closed the door with a soft click and leaned against it. She was dead tired and bone weary. All she wanted was a shower and her bed, not necessarily in that order.
"I was at Spike's."
"And why was Spike at Spike's? He had no business even getting up! He was half dead!"
"You said he was all right!"
"Well I lied!" Buffy yelled.
"Is everything okay down here?" Both girls looked up at a bleary-eyed Willow who stood at the top of the stairs.
"Yes!" they both shouted in unison.
"Great." Willow turned and went back to bed.
"Dawn, do you know how dangerous it was to move him as injured as he was?"
"You try making Spike not do something he's set his mind to and see how far you get," Dawn said defensively. Buffy opened her mouth and realized her little sister knew the vampire pretty well.
"Fine. He made you take him home. You could have called."
"I would have but after his shower and getting him to bed I was exhausted and I."
"His what?" Dawn rolled her eyes and started for the stairs.
"Give it a rest Buffy. Spike never has any intention of taking advantage of me, ever. Not that I would mind." She realized what she'd just said and hurried to cover. "But he sees no other woman but you. Not to mention he's like my brother or something so eww gross." She hoped that would put her sister's overactive imagination to rest. It seemed to do the trick.
"Well, next time you know you're gonna be out all night at least call me first. And I don't mean on a date so get that hopeful expression off your face. I meant when you're at Spike's." Buffy ran shaking fingers through her already messy hair and took a deep calming breath. She finally asked what she had been dying to all along.
"How is he?" Dawn couldn't hide her grin.
"He's okay. Most of the bruises are gone and after some blood and sleep the bones should be back to normal. His head however." Oops. Best not to tell Buffy about that just yet.
"His head?" Dawn stuttered and tried to think up something, anything.
"Yeah, his head got banged up pretty bad. Heck of a headache he said. But he was sleeping okay when I left. I'm gonna hit the sack if it's okay with you. I'm spent." Without another word she turned and ran up the stairs to her room. She was asleep in seconds.
Buffy stood at the bottom of the steps and looked around the empty room. It should have been her. She should have been the one to help him with his shower and into bed and baby him with warm blood and.. She shook her head to clear such thoughts. Again she had to tell herself that this is what she wanted. She had wanted him out of her life and he was, mostly. But every time Dawn came home with stories about the things they had done or something funny Spike had said it cut a little deeper each time. She missed him. It was as simple as that. But she didn't miss the way they had been. She missed something they had never had. She missed what Dawn had with him. An easiness, a friendship and a knowing that he would never fail her. She pushed her hair out of her face and forced herself not to burst into tears, again.
Spike was sleeping rather peacefully when someone began knocking on his bedroom door. He tried to drown out the noise by pulling the pillow over his head but they just kept doing it.
"Sod off!" he yelled, sticking his head out from under the pillow for only a moment. He heard the click as the door was opened. He peeked just out of curiosity and was not surprised to see Dawn there with her backpack slung over her shoulder.
"I guess you must be feeling better if you can yell at me." She said coming over and plopping down on the bed next to him. A grunt was her only response.
"What's with the bag? Don't tell me you actually made it to school today."
She gave it a glance and sat it down on the floor.
"No, I slept all day. I left Buffy a note that I was gonna stay here tonight and catch the bus in the morning. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, it's all right unless Big Sis gets a notion to have the Wicca do a locater spell for you." Dawn just shrugged and scooted back further on the bed.
"She would never do that. She knows that you don't want her to know where you live and no matter how bad she may have treated you she'd still have this weird honor thing about going against your wishes."
"Yeah, I get that. Bloody hero types." He scoffed.
Dawn finally encouraged (or nagged) him to get up and come in the den so they could at least watch TV together. She set him up on the couch with a throw (as if he could get any colder) and another mug of blood. She was determined to mother him to death and he let her because she needed to do it. They watched this and that until the sun had set and it grew darker. Dawn fell asleep with her feet in his lap and her head on a pillow.
Spike didn't know when he stopped watching the tube and started watching her. She was an extraordinary girl. At times, Spike thought she must be the strongest of all of them. So much had been placed on her thin shoulders and even with a hysterical break down or two she had adjusted and gone on. He knew it had been difficult on her when Buffy died. Their summer together after her sister's death had been a healing time for both of them. And they'd both been thrown back into turmoil when Buffy had suddenly been not dead. He'd been so shocked that he hadn't noticed Dawn fade into the background. He hadn't even realized she was screaming silently for help until the fateful birthday party. In so many ways she reminded him of Joyce. A strong, comforting presence not always seen but always there.
"Oh, mum. You'd be so proud of her." He whispered into the empty room.
Again Dawn woke to the sun slithering around the drawn curtains. She pushed herself up off the couch and yawned. At some point Spike had thrown the blanket over her and gone to bed. She glanced at the clock on the VCR and nearly panicked. She had thirty minutes to get ready and make the bus. She tried to be quiet as she changed in the bathroom and quickly brushed her teeth. She checked in on Spike quickly before leaving to find him fast asleep. She grabbed her bag and headed out the door.
By 5:00 p.m. Spike was worried. By 6:00 p.m. Spike was well beyond worried. He had never panicked before so he didn't know if this is what it felt like but since he'd never had this feeling before this had to be it. He walked repeatedly from him room to the front door and kept looking out the peep hole to be sure she wasn't there yet. By 6:30 he couldn't stand it anymore. Dawn had told him she was coming over right after school. That should have been 2 hours ago at least. He was going to have to swallow his pride and go to Buffy's house. He waited till the sun had gone completely down before taking his motorcycle and heading for the school. He searched the grounds and knew there couldn't be anyone there. The place was deserted. He got back on his bike and rode the familiar streets to Buffy's home. He raced into the driveway and skidded to a stop leaving a black mark halfway up the cement. He jumped off and ran to the door.
Buffy heard the banging from kitchen. She had just finished washing up the supper dishes when it started. She ran to the door and threw it open. Her heart leapt up in her throat when she saw Spike standing on her doorstep.
"Spike?" she wasn't questioning if it was really him just that he was really here. But he wasn't even looking at her. He was looking past her into the house.
"Is she here?" Buffy was so shocked to see him his question took a minute to register.
"What?"
"Is she here? Is Dawn here?" Buffy's heart that had been in her throat was now at her feet and frozen with fear. Her head was shaking the negative before she could even get the words out of her mouth.
"No. She told me she was going to your place after school? She's not there?" She knew how stupid that sounded the minute the words left her mouth. "No moron, Spike is here scared to death because Dawn is sitting on his sofa eating chips," she chided herself. Spike just gave her a look and turned away.
"Hey! Where are you going?" She yelled to his back. He swung around and stomped back up the door.
"I'm gonna go find Dawn. You can carry on as usual." She actually shrank away from him as is he'd punched her. Then the anger and rage set in.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She grabbed his leather-clad arm and swung him to face her.
"It means you've gotten accustomed to life without her, Slayer." Ugh, she hated when he called her that. "It means she would rather live with, and I quote, 'an evil, disgusting thing' than her own sister. She feels like it makes your life easier. And whether or not you notice she's doing it that's exactly what she's doing. Trying to make your life easier by removing herself from it." Buffy was frozen in place. She couldn't even muster tears. She was too horrified by the words coming out of his mouth. And even more horrified to realize that was exactly what her little sister was doing. Shaking the thoughts from her head she looked up into his piercing blue eyes.
"I'm coming with you."
"No."
"No?" she couldn't believe him.
"No. It's better if we split up. You go to her chums. Call 'em; knock on their doors whatever. Just see if she's there or when they last saw her. I'll hit the underbelly. I'm more likely to get info without the Slayer by my side. I'll check back here in a couple of hours to see if you found anything." With that he did walk away. He revved the bike and tore out of the driveway.
Shaking away feelings of guilt and self-recrimination, Buffy sprinted to the kitchen to start calling around.