Disclaimer
Vocaloid and anything that relates to it belongs to their own respective creators, I own nothing but my story ;)
Any vocaloid songs mentioned in this fic belongs to their respective creators (thank you for creating such awesome songs!) except if mentioned otherwise. In this story, I put half of the lyric from the song 'Love is War' (Koi wa Sensou) composed by ryo and produced by supercell! awesome!
Author's Note:
Uwaaahh! it's been such a long time! *bows to my readers* This time I put the author's note first because I would like to express my gratitude to my readers and followers who've put up with my story! Thank you for those who waited for more chapters and I'm really sorry that I haven't updated for such a long time!
Just when I was about to work on chapter 4 (a.k.a this chapter), suddenly work piled up at the office and at one point, I had to even spend a night there to finish my work *mouth bubbles* so to make up for the long wait, I rolled my sleeve up and wrote a long chapter for you! :D
And so, without further ado!
A Stage Just For You
Chapter IV - Decisions, Resolutions
Exactly one month had passed ever since Eri found the boy vocaloid left abandoned in a dark, cramped alleyway and saved him from his demise despite her strong dislike toward vocaloids. Everything went as normal as usual for Eri and her friends even with the addition of another vocaloid put under Eri's care. During that month, both Negimaru and Kayoko made sure that they kept a thorough assessment toward Eri's health and condition.
The boy vocaloid introduced himself as Len, Kagamine Len to the group. Ever since the procedure, Len has been living together with Eri and Miku in Eri's apartment. They had to clean up one vacant room that had previously been filled with junks of all kinds, mainly vocaloid equipments' boxes before the room was ready to be filled in with furnitures. The boy had adapted well; although he was still oblivious about lots of things, he proved himself to be a quick learner. There had only one single problem; and that ever since Len had had opened his eyes, he had never been let to sing.
This had often made the boy vocaloid tossed and turned on top of his new bed at night, he want to sing so badly, he wanted to clear his doubts lingering upon his mind . But that apparently had not only becoming Len's problem. Eri too knew, that sooner or later the boy vocaloid would nag her about it. 'All vocaloids are like that, all they care about is singing' she had thought. But she had kept pushing and pushing the thought even further that no solution was thought up until one day, two days, three.. and suddenly it has already been a month, the day after would be Eri and Miku's first appearance after their one month absence.
Eri and Miku's absence was considered to be too much for their fans. They are after all, the most anticipated vocaloid pair expected to make performance in public at least several times a month. And their first come-back performance was highly anticipated that that night, the vocalodome was filled with more people than usual.
These people crowd the dome-shaped building constructed almost entirely from translucent vibraglass (which is yet another invention of Future Media Research and Technology Institute) that promotes the quality of vocaloid's voice and other musical instruments for the purpose of holding various performances from various vocaloids. Vocalodome has the capability to accommodate thousands of audience inside. It also has the most advanced stage technology unrivaled by other vocaloid concert stages in other region.
One full-month without any activities from the two had motivated their fans to write letter. Hundreds or perhaps thousands of fan-mail wishing her health (Decided to hide the fact that Eri had been paired with yet another vocaloid, she had been absence from the public under the pretense of being physically unwell from the lack of rest) of course, the mail had been previously screened and selected by the employee of the show agency where Eri was in.
"Hundreds of mail keeps coming everyday when you were sick, Eri!" said the particular employee in-charge of the task, "You sure are loved by your fans" she handed one of the letters to Eri.
"Yeah..." Eri said blandly as she tore open the letter in turqouise envelope and paper. There was a picture of Miku inside, scribbled doodles of the vocaloid smiling with blushes on each of its cheek and lots of heart around it. Eri didn't bother reading the letter as she shoved it to Miku instead, "Here, it's yours... I'm gonna go get some snack for m'self" Eri said lazily as she left the room followed by Len, leaving Miku in the room to deal with stacks of letters.
"You didn't seem too excited, those were a lot of letters addressed to you" Len said cheerfully, both her hands rested behind his head as they both tread along the winding hallway. Eri glanced at Len for a moment.
"Meh.." she shrugged, "I pretty much know the content already"
"You do?" Len seemed amused, "but how?"
"If you've received roughly that amount of letter on daily basis, you've bound to find some patterns of the message they want to deliver" Eri turned to her side to look behind the glass that constructs the vocalodome. Down there was a sea of turqouise lights coming from the mass of people who had bought or brought their lightstick. Yeah.. Not only those letters... those people, most of them were looking for Miku; their idol. Eri smiled bitterly, I'm only needed by these people because they need to see their idol sing for them.. who's the master and who's the puppet now?
"Whoah! All of them were cheering for Miku?" it was Len's turn to look beyond the glass. His mouth wide open as he was mesmerized by the thousands of flickering turqouise light, "But wait..." Len squinted and he seemed like he was looking for something before he turned back to Eri, "Why weren't anyone cheering for you?"
Eri was surprised if not a little bit nervous. She had never thought that anyone, let alone a few days old boy-vocaloid would bring that up. She had enough of that boy vocaloid, she had enough of vocaloids, and she had enough with everything. But still, she felt that she could not escape her fate of being a vocaloid user.
"It's not your bus..." Before Eri finished her words, she was interupted by Len who clenched his hand and brought it up to his chest.
"Hah! I guess it slipped those people's little mind who is it behind Miku's performance eh?" Len then turned to Eri and winked, "Don't worry then! I'll be that one person ehh... vocaloid? ehh.." he shook his head in frustration and continued, "Whatever it is I am, I'll be that one between those thousands who cheers for you!" Afterwards, he made a "peace" sign with his fingers.
Eri fell silent. She said nothing nor do anything for a few minutes. Len finally felt the chill of the empty hallway that is too silent in contrast of the ruckuss made outside. Everything felt awkward for the boy vocaloid until he faintly heard someone snickering.
"That..." Despite trying her best to hide it, Eri's snicker was a little too obvious, "was cheesy!" she covered her mouth, but her eyes couldn't hide her smile, "That was the cheesiest I've ever heard"
Len was unsure of how he should react. He was so annoyed that his heartfelt speech was considered cheesy. But he was also a little glad that that could broke through Eri's icy front. He enjoyed in one way or another, the other side of her he had never seen and one he doubt a lot of people have seen. He had thought one month ago, that Eri was an unfriendly person and he had trouble trying to befriend her. The boy vocaloid really hoped that this event could bring them somehow closer.
"Meanie! I meant every word I said!" Len puffed his cheek.
"Yes yes, my bad..." Eri took a deep breath to calm herself down, and patted the boy vocaloid's back, "Let's go.. I still want my snack..." she walked on, "I.. wouldn't want something with cheese though" She glanced toward Len.
"That's awful!" Len hurried behind her.
The vocalodome was filled with anticipating crowd both inside and outside the facility, there were buzzing sounds of excitement coming from them. Those who were lucky enough to secure a seat inside the facility could fully experience the "magical" show of vocaloid performance with better view and; most importantly, sound quality. While those who had to watch from outside the facility could satisfy their desire of watching their idol inside the transparent dome as hundreds of amplifiers installed at the gaps between the vibraglasses would deliver the sound inside to be enjoyed by those outside.
As the countdown to the start of the show had dropped to minutes, the backstage were frantic. Stage crew run yet another round of last check of everything. Musicians, ready at their respective places on-stage, made sure that their equipments were finely tuned, tricky parts of the song mastered, and even though they had never rehearsed together with the star herself, they all knew that the vocaloid diva would tackle the performance as amazingly as she always been. She is a vocaloid after all!
In contrast with the mish-mash of people running, screaming, and playing music instruments in the back stage area, the vocaloid user's room was made as relaxing as possible. The walls were covered with sound-reducing materials except for the side of the room that faces the stage which was made entirely from soundproof glass. This would enable the vocaloid user to be able to take a good view of their vocaloid performing on-stage. A set of comfortable sofas, all sorts of french pastries and two cups of hot tea on top of a coffee table were set in the middle of the room, but Eri knew she wouldn't had a chance on indulging herself on all those. She knew her place; a single armchair backing away the entire room, facing the wall of glass toward the stage.
*munch munch* "Oh yum! this is so good! this one too! yummm! but that one before was my favorite I guess.." Len, sitting comfortably on one of the couch was helping himself on the french pastries originally prepared for Eri. *slurrrpp* "yuck! tea is bitter! I better add more sugar" He reached for the sugar cubes when he realized Eri was observing him, rather amused.
"Oh..." Len giggled sheepishly, baring his teeth, "Sorry, do you want some?" He handed Eri a chocolate éclair which the latter accepted doubtfully.
"I didn't know vocaloids could eat" Eri was amused. Len stopped eating for a while and stared at Eri with the same amount of amusement plastered on his face.
"I didn't know vocaloids can't eat" He looked at a piece of small pastry between Eri's fingers, "Aren't you gonna eat that?"
"I... Actually have never eaten anything provided here..." Eri shifted her gaze from Len to her chocolate éclair and back to Len.
"No way! Are you serious!?" Len was obviously surprised, "All these tasty things? but why?"
"Well..." The chocolate in Eri's pastry started to melt, staining her fingers. Eri put down the éclair back onto the large plate which almost half of what was inside has already been devoured by Len and she wiped her finger clean with a tissue, "Because I'm sure to me, they would taste like poison".
Len gasped, he threw the small choux créme he was holding back to the plate in an abrupt manner, "You're trying to say that there's poison inside these little cakes?"
Eri was amused yet once again, her eyes widened in astonishment, "No! that was only a figure of speech... it's not that there's poison inside these pastries"
Len released a deep breath of relief, "Well come to think of it, you DID took the trouble of buying your own snack..." Suddenly it became dark and a static sound was heard inside the room. Len jumped, "what's that?"
Eri looked at her watch, "Oh it's about time" The light on the stage was already dimmed, as well as in the user's room to hide the user's presence from the audience for the whole concert. The only light source were those coming from thousands of tiny lightsticks brought by the audience, and the illumination from the limelight hovering about.
Eri took her seat on the armchair while the static sound stopped and there was an announcement coming from the speaker placed at the three sides of the room.
'Attention user(s), beginning contact test procedure in T minus 10... ... ...'
Eri closed her eyes and concentrated as the countdown continued,
'5... 4... 3... 2... 1...'
And immediately, flashes of simple symbol consists of a triangle, square, a circle and a cross mark appeared inside Eri's mind. This is where it is tricky for vocaloid users; they have to sync both mind so that the two of them could act as one. In this process is when the plasma inside the vocaloid reacts and sends signals to the part of it circulating inside the user's vein. This reaction would create a mental image of hazy simple symbols that the user has to match by picturing the same symbols but more clearly in their mind, and immediately according to the beat and rhythm of the song. If the user messes up, the same goes to the vocaloid.
But Eri did not seem to worry. In fact, she did not show any slightest concern toward everything. She finished the contact test immediately without any trouble; this is confirmed when Miku's singing voice was heard from the speaker.
"Contact test succeeded~" Miku said in a cheerful sing-song voice.
"Contact established" Eri replied, in a rather flat, unamused tone.
'Vocaloid-User contact confirmed' the automated announcement continued, 'Welcome to the vocalodome, user Mitsuaki Eri, Vocaloid unit Hatsune Miku.'
"Yeah yeah... blah blah... I've heard those lines times and times and times.." Eri rolled her eyes, "Can't we just start and get it over with?" But the announcement went on.
Miku's voice was heard from the speaker again, "Oh cut them some slack Ecchan, you know it's an automated system, it's not like they could understand you" she giggled.
"Whatever" Eri retorted.
'Good luck,'
The announcement paused for a moment,
and enjoy.
Enjoy. Bah! If any part of the announcement Eri find as the most ridiculous it was that particular part where the announcer wishes her to enjoy the performance. I don't see; I've never seen any part where I could enjoy myself. And she shut her eyes; falling back to rest on the armchair.
The stage area was pitch black. Everything seemed to be engulfed in an eternal darkness. There was only buzzing sound of the fans waited eagerly for their idol to reveal herself onstage, it was rather quiet for a place filled with thousands of audience. When, faintly, the intro music plays, the crowd went ecstatic. The music got louder and louder as colorful but dim lights were lit, revealing the musicians playing their instruments skillfully. And finally, appearing on stage, basking on the limelight, enjoying the full attention of the audiences, was the vocaloid diva, Hatsune Miku.
She greeted the audience while the background music was playing a rather angsty tune, "What's up everyone!"
The audience went crazy; they screamed and cheer at the top of their lungs and soon enough, they chanted Miku's name in unison.
"It's been a month and Miku has been missing you all" Miku clenched one of his palm and brought it to her cheek, making a gesture of wiping imaginary tears, "but today, we meet again and Miku get to sing you one song! that makes me very happy!" she winked; the audience got even wilder, "This song was especially written for all those love-warriors out there!"
Miku held the microphone attached to her headphone and she began to sing. Slowly her body began to emit light, and the floor below her ascended. The floor was an ordinary stage technology not to mention it is plain looking. But its appearance was not the main issue as vocaloids could generate any illusion they want. And now, the plain ascending floor was seen by the audience as a rising tower with four gigantic megaphones revolving on top of it.
"There's nowhere for it to go anymore, the heat of this love"
ahhh...! Out of nowhere, a megaphone appeared in Miku's hand.
Inside the user's room, Eri was still closing her eyes, listening on to Miku's singing voice from the speaker inside the room. Meanwhile, Len was watching Miku's performance. He was literally glued to the glass-wall, his eyes sparkled.
The grey clouds, the monochrome clamor
The sunlight casts a shadow, the twilight changes color
The megaphone that was in Miku's hand dissolved, turned into a flock of bird, zooming across the audience. Miku started to dance, her body swayed, and her feet stomping according to the rhythm of her song. Everything did not escape Len's eyes. He captured every detail in amusement, and listening to Miku's singing voice generated a sensation similar to human when they have chills running across their skin.
Ah! the world blurs; even so, will I still love you?
I know this - but what should I do?
How can I, what should I...
What an idiot... I am
As it gotten near to the chorus, the music intensified. The audience was rapturous, and the atmosphere, all the excitement, had gotten Len drunk. So this is what vocaloid can do when they sing... Slowly, without him realizing it, his body began to emit yellowish glow. His heart palpitating and his breathing heavy. His vision became blurry, and he felt slightly lightheaded. But strangely he felt good, he felt really really good.
Let's go, this is war
Just seeing you so happy...!
Ardent love is a sin...
Eri started to feel uneasy. She felt like something blocking her contact with Miku. It seemed like the symbols were slipping away from the grasps of her mind each time.
Miku as well noticed the disturbance. Her voice became shaky and she felt like she missed several notes although the audience thought that it was part of the song and did not realize what had happened at all.
...I'll show you my feelings!"
Utilizing the few moments where the music filled in the gap before the next verse started, Miku sent a distress signal to Eri; her first distress signal throughout her entire performance with Eri.
Eri opened her eyes but quickly shut it again. It was bright inside the room, and the light pierced Eri's eyes which has previously been accustomed to the darkness. Slowly Eri squinted, she could see nothing but yellow light everywhere. She felt as if she was lost in the sea of light enveloping herself.
"What happened?" There was a panic in her voice, which was drowned by the sound of the music playing from the speaker. The next verse was about to began, but her connection to Miku has already broken.
Out on the stage, everything became dark once again. The ascending tower and the megaphones, the birds and the shimmering dark clouds disappeared, leaving a trail of glittery stars that hastily faded as the audience's attention were caught on something else.
High above them, coming from the window of the user's room was bright yellow light and silhouette of a little boy in its midst. Cameras that were focused on Miku shifted its direction, and every inch of the dome's vibraglass displayed the projection of the little boy who then, opened his mouth. Miku's eyes widened. No! Eri! She thought to herself.
Inside the user's room, Eri was still fumbling her way. She was trying to make the most of what she could remember of the interior of the room and locate Len's position before she heard a faint singing voice. It came out as whisper in the beginning, and as it grew louder and louder, so did Eri's body grew weaker and weaker.
"Len!" Eri tried to call to no avail. She felt dizzy, and eventually she dropped to her feet, "Len! Please!" She yelled in desperation, "where are you!?" Eri coughed as it got even more difficult for her to breathe, she took one deep breath and let everything out in one desperate attempt, "LEN!" she shouted at the top of her lungs.
Suddenly the light began to change in colour. The blinding yellow light turned to various shades of blue, pink, orange, purple, and any colour imaginable. Slowly those lights stirred, and, like hundreds of tailed comets, they moved together in perfect sync, with the center of everything was Eri and Len. The boy vocaloid was still singing with his eyes closed, his expression very peaceful and he was smiling.
Eri's eyes widened before the view; For a few moments, she felt as if she was isolated in a different world, and everything else was forgotten. How beautiful! Eri thought to herself, and her mind wandered to a not so distant past; a question rose up in her mind, Did.. Kaoru experienced something like this as well back then...? With Miku? A sharp pain stung her heart, If it was like this with them too, Trembling, Eri stood up from where she fell down on the floor, Kaoru you ugly jerk! She limped toward Len as she felt her body became heavier with every step she took.
Len felt something cold touching his cheek, creeping up to the nape of his neck. He slowly opened his eyes and he saw Eri mouthed I'm sorry to him before one of her hand suddenly cupped his mouth, stopping him from singing even further. The lights instantly disappeared, and Len was taken aback. Then, everything returned to him in a flurry details. The room, the stage behind the glass wall, Miku who was no longer on the stage, Eri slumping toward him, and lastly the loud banging coming from the door.
"Over there..." Eri whispered to Len, pointing at the small gap at the corner of the room, she noticed that Len was agitated, he was in the verge of tears looking straight to Eri's eyes, his hands too, trembling. Eri took one of his hand and squeezed it gently, "you'll be okay" She smiled.
"Mitsuaki Eri! Are you allright!" After a few difficult attempts, the vocalodome staffs managed to broke through the door. They found Eri lying down on the floor, gasping for air.
"Oh my God! Medic! someone call the medic! hurry!" Said the man who broke the door, he ran to Eri's side while the other staff hurriedly to the intercom and dialed the medic.
Miku was with them. She observed the room, her eyes kept looking for one particular boy vocaloid who she couldn't find anywhere.
"Miku!" one of the vocalodome staffs shouted, "Mitsuaki Eri needs you!"
The medic arrived at the same time when Miku got to Eri's side. As the medic staff put on an oxygen mask to her, Eri could only eyed Miku and shifted her gaze to a particular spot at the corner of the room. Miku's eyes followed Eri's gaze and she suddenly understands. She looked back to Eri and nodded.
"I'm sorry Miku, we need you to move away for now... we're going to take Eri to the medic room" One of the staffs rest his hand on Miku's shoulder and gently pulled her away from Eri. She watched as Eri was being taken away. As soon as nobody else was inside the room, she shut the door.
Miku walked to the corner of the room, beside the potted plant, behind the sofa, and there he found Len, perfectly hidden in the corner where no one would notice in the midst of the panic. He held his knees tight and buried his face inside.
"Len-kun?" Miku called out to him.
Len gasped, he jerked his head upward. His expression gradually changed from fear to relief as he reached and hugged Miku, he cried on her waist.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!..." He said, unable to say anything else, Len kept crying while chanting I'm sorry the whole time.
"Yes, what is it, Miku?" Negimaru turned his bedlights on and reached his clock. The digital digits kept flashing the number 00:30. He sat up abruptly after a few minutes listening to the girl vocaloid across the phone, "Stay where you are! I'll be there with Kayo immediately".
"Negi! don't forget the stabilizer!" Kayoko shouted from the garage as she dumped a set of equipments into the backseat of the car.
"Damn it! At these kind of times!" Negimaru rushed back into the building. While Kayoko went into the car and started it. She rode it out of the garage, and as soon as Negimaru went out with a briefcase, they switched place and Negimaru stepped on the gas.
It was silent in the car. Negimaru was concentrating on speeding up the car, he honked everytime there was another car trying to cut his path, made a sharp turn everywhere due to his speed, and once he almost crashed into another car.
"Negi! calm down!" Kayoko shouted at him, "Listen! Ecchan need us! Who would be beside her when both of us dead or arrested?"
"You're right..." Negimaru took a deep breath, "There's no time for those things.."
Len had stopped crying and was now sitting at one of the steps behind the vocalodome's back alley door. He was still hugging his knees, his chin rested on them. Occasionally he glanced to Miku who stood leaning on the wall beside him. She had not said anything yet ever since she found him inside the users room.
"Len-kun..." Without turning to the boy vocaloid, Miku called him.
"Y..yes..?" Len stuttered, he was glad that Miku would speak to him but at the same time was scared of what she would say. It was he after all, who ruined everything for both Eri and Miku.
"One human could not support two vocaloids singing at once" She said, "When we sing, we consumed our human's energy"
"So that's why Eri collapsed...?" Len squeezed his knees even harder.
Miku nodded, "It must be too much for her back then.." She turned to Len and ruffled his hair, "But it's allright" she smiled, "You're just months old... there are a lot of things in this world that you don't know yet"
Len nodded weakly. He knew that Miku was only trying to make him feel better, but his guilt was still torturing him nonetheless.
"But more importantly, Len.." Miku continued, "When did you practice the song you sang back then...? I've never seen you practice or anything?"
"Huh?" Len was confused, "I've never practiced anything..." He took a moment to think before he continued, "And if I did practice something, you guys must've known it, didn't you?"
"What? but then... I don't understand!" Miku shook her head, "You didn't compose the song yet? you didn't establish any connection with Ecchan? you didn't do anything?"
Len was overwhelmed by the barrage of questions he received from Miku, "Uh... no, no, and uh... no, I don't think so.." Len shrugged, "That song back then came out of my mind just like that..." He turned to Miku, "I guess... I got carried away with the hype and it suddenly happened..." He blushed, admitting his faulty action.
"Impossible..." Miku whispered to herself.
Suddenly Miku's phone rung. she immediately answered it. It seemed that Negimaru and Kayoko had arrived at the vocalodome. Miku told them where she and Len was, and not long after, both Negimaru and Kayoko appeared from the back alley door. Negimaru looked down toward Len, and he immediately knelt down.
"Is Ecchan allright? Where is she?" He grabbed the boy vocaloid's shoulders and shook them, his expression unreadable. Negimaru freaked Len so much that he couldn't find it in his words, any answer to give the vocaloid technician.
"Calm down, Negi..." Miku held Negimaru by his arm and looked straight into his eyes, " Ecchan is most likely in the user's ward now.."
Negimaru loosened his grip on Len and he slowly backed away, "Sorry... I lost my cool"
Len nodded weakly, unsure.
Kayoko squeezed Negimaru's hand, "Listen.. why don't you get the guys in the car, and I'll go get Ecchan..."
"Right.. right.. I'll do that" Negimaru squeezed a spot between his eyes before he took a deep breath, took Miku and Len by their shoulders and guided them away.
Kayoko watched them walked away. As soon as the three of them were far enough, she took a deep breath and released a heavy sigh. She ran a hand through her long hair that was let loose since she had rushed and did not have any chance to tie it up.
"Maybe I should have the 'talk' with Ecchan..." Her face turned to frown.
The group were back at Eri's apartment. Negimaru took care of the vocaloids while Kayoko took Eri who was still feeling a little dizzy to her bedroom. She assisted Eri up until the latter was tucked safely into bed. It was decided that night upon everyone's consent, that Kayoko would stay at Eri's. Kayoko was more than delighted to stay, she need to watch over her friend until she was convinced that Eri was healthy enough. But that was not her only intention.
Kayoko had been worried over something for the past two years; something only her friend, who was now sleeping soundly, comfortably in her room. Back then she knew she had to give her friend some time to recover herself, but two years had been enough time, and Kayoko had waited long enough. She had planned to have a little discussion with her although circumstances had never given them some private time alone, and now she had found the perfect timing to finally have that discussion.
Perhaps tomorrow She thought.
Inbetween her sleep, Eri smelled something nice. Something's frying she thought, Smells like... sweet? dough..? Slowly, she opened her eyes to the ceiling above her. It was dark around her, with only the soft light coming from the bubbling green and magenta lava lamps on the table at both sides of her bed. She took the watch on the table to her right, and looked at the blinking numbers;
"9 o'clock... Surprisingly early..." Eri sat on her bed and leaned on the headboard. She looked around a little bit, on her room. It was more than decent according to Eri, it was spacious, its floor was covered with soft gray carpet which she had it regularly cleaned, and the big window on the side of the room which was now covered with cream-colored wool curtains ensured that the room had enough share of the sunlight.
What perhaps stood out from the room was the massive collection of archaeology books, lined up inside classic-style wooden bookcases that does not match the whole interior. Eri got up from her bed and took the remote hanging by the headboard of her bed. With that remote, she could control everything in the room, from opening the curtain, locking and open the lock on the door, to turning the lamps on or off. And after she finished doing so, she went to the bookcases and her eyes browsed through the books inside.
She stopped at the one titled 'Human Origins' and flipped the page nonchalantly until she reached one bookmarked page. She stared that page long enough, caressing some section of it. Her expression was something in-between smiling and doleful. Suddenly she heard someone knocking her door. She closed the book in a hurry and put it back in the bookcase.
"Just a minute!" she shouted as she rushed to open the door.
It turned out that Len was the one who knocked on Eri's door. He brought with him a tray that was covered with quite a large napkin.
"Len?" Eri looked at the boy vocaloid who was having difficulties with the tray.
"Um... morning.." He greeted, avoiding any eye contact with Eri, "I thought you'd be hungry" he lifted the tray up.
Eri lifted the napkin that felt a bit warm a little to peek at what's inside. There were three stacks of potato pancakes, with sour cream and slices of bacon, also a glass of orange juice.
"Who made all these..?" She asked, putting the napkin back to its place.
Len flinched a little, "Well... Kayoko stayed overnight, and..." he fidgeted, "And I helped her with cooking this morning"
"Kayoko's here?" Eri took the tray from Len, "then let's have breakfast together with her" She walked to the dining room, Len following her.
Eri lived in quite an upscale apartment in town. The place had been given to her by the top managers of the vocalodome as a compensation for her performances that had attracted so much people that they managed to haul profits one could only imagine in their wildest dreams. However, Eri knew that the apartment had never been for her all along.
A she walked past the hallway to the dining room, she couldn't help but to look forth to the metallic double-door at the end of the corridor; Behind those doors, was a room twice as big as Eri's that made up the majority of the apartment unit. Inside, was various equipments, machines, and tools to accomodate vocaloids with their necessary maintenance. That room was Miku's; that room was the reason the unit had been given to Eri.
"Good morning!" said a cheerful voice that took Eri away from her daydream. Miku was standing in front of her, her face just a few inches from Eri, she was smiling brightly.
"What the hell!" Eri jerked, almost dropping the tray she was holding.
"Ecchan you're up and about!" Miku hugged her, she hung her arms around Eri's neck.
"Hey hey stop it! you'll make me drop my breakfast!"
Miku pulled away, "Sorry Ecchan, it's just that... I was worried when everything went chaotic yesterday, I'm so relieved to see you're okay!"
Eri sighed and shook her head, she walked on to the dining room. There, Kayoko was sitting at the table, reading the news through her tablet accompanied by a cup of hot black coffee.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Kayoko looked away from her tablet, locking the screen.
"I must be on the news..." Eri put her tray down and sat down. She began eating, Len and Miku sat at the table as well.
"Well... since you already guessed it..." Kayoko unlocked her tablet and pushed it toward Eri. A news website was opened, and on it was a headline written in bold, 'MUSICAL PERFORMANCE GONE AWRY'. Eri looked at the page a little, scrolling it down and saw what she feared.
A recording of what the news described as 'another vocaloid? a mysterious light seen coming from the user's room' was embedded onto the web-page. Eri played the video with a distressed look on her face. Len, sitting beside Eri, couldn't help but took a glance at the video and felt VERY uncomfortable.
"That's not the only one apparently.." Kayoko said, sipping her coffee afterwards, "The surveillance camera in the user's room took a MUCH better view of what happened"
Eri pushed the tablet away, "I guess it's a bad idea looking at them while having breakfast.." Eri took another bite of her pancake and chew on it lazily.
Kayoko took the tablet from Eri and tapped on it randomly, "Well, what do you intend to do after this?"
Eri fell silent. She paused eating for a moment though, but she kept on afterwards. Kayoko grew impatient and pressured her for an answer.
"People has now discovered that you've hosted two vocaloids and soon after they'd demanded explanation" She said, "I even caught some reporters lurking around the area earlier this morning, I sent some of them off telling them you were still lying weakly in bed"
Eri did not respond, she continued sipping her orange juice casually.
"You know, Ecchan..." Kayoko started to lose her patience, "At this rate those guys would try to look for scoops from those close to you"
Eri nodded, "Yeah I know that..."
"Don't you care if they started chasing after me... or Negi...?"
Eri put her utensils down and looked at Kayoko, "What do you expect me to do then..?" She asked her, "'Yeah guys, I got another vocaloid, go ahead expose me even further, make news about it, and make me do additional performances' or 'no no, I don't have any vocaloids at all, what you all saw was just some bad magic trick being played upon your eyes, you should just forget about it! and hey look! hereeee's Miku!'" She ranted mockingly as she began to lose her temper.
Kayoko clenched her hands, she has been pushed over her edge, and she too, lost her temper, "Whatever crap you're going to give them, then give them! At least don't leave the decision hanging, that's a bad habit of yours! you always do everything on your whim!"
At that point, the two friends were practically arguing in high tone. Both Miku and Len looked at each other with worried expression, they wanted to somehow mediate the two but couldn't find any opening to interrupt them, and not that they have the courage too, for that matter.
At one extent, Eri snapped. She banged the table and stood up,"Why are you being so pushy anyway! Everything has nothing to do with you!"
Kayoko too, stood up, "Yes it has! And let me tell you why" she began, her voice trembled from releasing all her pent up emotions inside, "You have the convenience to mope and complain all the time, but you know what? when you were busy moping around, me and Negi, especially Negi who was tortured by his guilt, were trying our best to keep you from falling apart and yet!" She paused, "yet you won't stop falling apart!" Both girls were quiet afterwards, Kayoko caught her breath and continued,
"When it comes about you... Negi.. he's practically jumpy about it" She spoke softer, "Night and day, for the past two years... he had been straining himself so much, kept saying that it was his fault that you suffer" Kayoko looked at Eri, a little pool of tear has formed at the corner of her eyes, "He would practically put everything on the line for you, how do you think that makes me feel?"
Eri stared at Kayoko with a blank expression, "Good for you isn't it?" Kayoko's eyes widened listening to Eri's response, "That you can still worry over him...?" Eri looked away from Kayoko, her eyes too, welling up, her voice trembled, "As for me, the only left for me is.." She glanced to Miku who flinched upon meeting Eri's angry eyes, "Kaoru's hopes and dreams that I had to keep so that it lived on"
Kayoko clenched her teeth, she grabbed Eri hard by her shoulders and speak to her face, "Nobody's asking you to live Kaoru's life!" Kayoko growled, "He's dead, he won't be able to expect anything else from you! everything was your own damn stupid choice!"
Eri was shocked. Her mind felt hazy, as well as her vision became blurry. One by one, tears came rolling down her cheek uncontrollably.
Kayoko too, was shocked by her own words. She loosened her grip on Eri's shoulders, "Ecchan... I'm sorry... I.." She stopped abruptly as Eri pushed her away and hurried to the front door, grabbing her long coat on the way and went out.
"Ecchan!" Kayoko called her, but Eri's biggest concern did not seem to lie in stopping or going back to argue for now, so she ignored Kayoko even though she knew her best friend was calling for her a few moments before she banged the door close.
The atmosphere in the room was awkward. It was quiet and strangely chilly. Kayoko turned and look at both Miku and Len who were both sitting quite uncomfortably on their chairs. They had been the passive listeners that had to endure the drama happened before them.
Kayoko let out a deep heavy sigh, she slumped to her chair and clasped her hands together on the table. She rested her forehead on her clasped hands and while doing so, she apologized to the two vocaloids for the hassle both she and Eri caused. And after a short while, she too began sobbing. Miku stood up from her seat and took Kayoko by her arms, trying to comfort her down.
While Len only watched everything. She watched how Miku was able to calm Kayoko down, and was now on her way to make some tea for her. He looked up to the fellow vocaloid for being able to find her own place in the group; she was helpful compared to him, he thought. Len clenched both his hands.
So far, Len only has singing in his mind. It was the most important thing for the boy vocaloid, he was created for that exact purpose. But now, Len was not so sure. He felt like there are more to it for vocaloids than just singing. Why do vocaloids sing? is it just because they are created for that? why do they create songs, why do they establish connections with humans?
Len had seen thousands of people back at the vocalodome who cheered for Miku. Everyone anticipated her singing, because it brought happiness to those people. Miku sing beautifully so that those people can be happy, and because those people are happy, she can sing beautifully. That's why she had been able to secure her place between everyone. And at that exact moment of realization, Len rose from his seat, toppling the chair in the process and ran out of the apartment.
"Len!" Miku shouted as she noticed the boy vocaloid rushed out, "Kayo-chan! I'll go chase him!" Miku put down the teapot in her hand to the table. And as she turned to follow the boy vocaloid, Kayoko stopped her.
"No, Miku!" She grabbed Miku's hand, "Let it be..."
Reluctant, Miku came to a halt. She clenched her hand and lift it up her chest, "I hope everything's allright.." She said solemnly.
Eri was looking at the vast, blue sky above her. She tilted her head up that it dizzied her a little bit, but she liked doing that because at certain angle, the only thing she could see was only the blue sky with patches of fluffy white clouds here and there. She was sitting down on the rooftop floor, hugging her knees. Her tears was still flowing no matter how much she had rubbed her eyes, and no matter how hard she had tried to stop them.
Her mind was drawing a blank. There was no Kayoko inside, there was no Negimaru, there were no vocaloids; it was only her and the big, blue sky above her. She closed her eyes and felt the gentle breeze playing mischievously with her hair.
"I wish everything could be as empty as this... don't you agree?" Eri spoke to the wind as another tears streamed down her face, she was not bothered by the fact that it was such a strange gesture to be done. She felt terrible nonetheless and doing this seemed to comfort her a little.
Suddenly she felt someone sitting down beside her. She opened her eyes and turned to her side at the smiling Len,
"But it will be lonely if everything was empty don't you think?" He said, in an attempt to cheer Eri up.
Eri hurriedly rub her eyes, "How did you know I was here?"
"Well to be honest I don't know" Len pouted, he scratched his head, "I mean.. you went ahead of me, and you're gone once I went outside, so.. I tried to follow my feelings instead of thinking about it"
"What was that..." Eri seemed to be skeptical, "following your feeling?" She waved both her hands, "Oh whatever... I don't really care what's what anymore" She hugged her knees again and rested her chin on them. She looked like she was about to cry again, but she tried hard not to that her nails were digging up on the flesh of her knees.
"Eri...san" Len hesitated, he looked at Eri's trembling hands, "You can cry if you're sad..." He shifted, turned away from her, "I'll even look away if you feel embarassed"
Eri was astounded, he looked at the boy vocaloid who was now turning his back on her. There was a strange feeling of being completely open and vulnerable whenever she was near him, it was like she couldn't hide her feelings,
"I shouldn't cry" Eri mumbled.
"But why...?" Len asked, still turning his back to her,
"Well.. it's.." Eri was quite unsure herself as to why she shouldn't cry despite all the suffocating grief, but she told the boy vocaloid something that she had been telling herself too, "Because I've to be strong..."
Len turned to look at the girl, looking straight at her puffy eyes, a pair of dark brown orb welled up in tears that she had continuously tried to hold back, "But why should you be strong?"
"Why...?" Eri felt like her eyes were captured, she couldn't turn them away from the pair of uncannily brilliant blue eyes that were looking straight at her, "Because... because..."
Unable to find anything in her mind to answer the boy vocaloid, instead tears streamed down her face uncontrollably from her eyes. Eri sunk her head into her knees and started sobbing quite loudly. Suddenly she felt the rushes of emotions she thought she had killed long ago, flowing violently. A great amount of pressure tightened her chest that she found it hard to breathe as she times and times gasping for air in-between her sobs.
Both Len and Eri sat together until Eri finally calmed herself down a little. She was still wiping her eyes dry while Len was still sitting beside her. He turned his back on Eri again, giving the older woman some privacy so that she could let
"Kaoru.. was my professor..." Her voice still trembled, Eri suddenly speak to Len.
Len turned to look at Eri. He could see that as though she seemed like she was looking at the blue sky above, but her eyes were looking deep into the past. Her expression was a heart-wrenching blend of grief and of love at the mention of the name Kaoru.
"Well..." Eri began, "I was a university student.. I took archaeology as my major" She fiddled the end of her coat, "I always love archaelogy... dwelling into the past to look into the future, I thought it was kinda cool"
Len looked up archaeology in his database. Len was knowledgeable for a vocaloid, but not all of those knowledge was stored into his memories. Some were still tucked up inside his database unit, and he had to retrieve the information in order to learn about them.
"So you're into stones and uh... preserving decaying dead bodies? Len looked at Eri in disbelief.
For the first time ever since Eri had last remembered, she laughed. She laughed so hard, which she found to be the strangest thing to do after she had cried so much only moments before, "silly! archaeology isn't only about those things"
Len scratched the back of his head, "I might need more research on that" he blushed.
"Anyway..." Eri continued, smiling fondly as she reminisced, "Kaoru was young and good looking, not to mention he was really smart too back then" she giggled.
Something in the boy vocaloid's system might have gone wrong, he thought, for he felt like he skipped a single beat. Eri in front of her seemed to be very... womanly. With her cheek flushed and her eyes puffed out from her crying before, she seemed different from the usual ice-cold, emotionless Eri he knew of only a month ago.
"I guess.. I fell in love with him almost instantly" Eri told him, she was now seemed to be a little flustered, "and by some odd fortune, my feelings were reciprocated".
Len felt a sudden tightness on his chest, he secretly clenched his hands. He realized that this Kaoru was the one who had been able to draw out every expression out of Eri; not only anger or sadness, but also fondness and love. Len did not understand why, but he felt like he couldn't bear every tale Eri told about herself and Kaoru. How they had used to secretly looked at each other in the class, the secret notes they used to send to each other, secret meetings they used to had, and more importantly, the secret book they both had shared, which was now sitting in one of Eri's bookcases in her room. The world had seem like it exists only for the two back then; it had been the perfect world, and Len was tormented by that fact for some reason he himself did not understand. Perhaps, he thought, that he should have himself checked by Negi.
"And one day Negi appeared with Miku" Eri seemed dejected all of a sudden, "Negi had been Kaoru's childhood friend, as well as one of the professors in the Future Media Research and Technology Institute that deals with vocaloids"
"What was he doing with Miku back then?" Len was curious.
"Who knows? All I know is that one day he shown us Miku's ability, and Kaoru..." Eri paused, "Kaoru seemed to be quite taken by her" she smiled bitterly.
"We had fun with Miku in the beginning but then, she became the reason we grew apart each day as Kaoru was strangely fixated upon her" Eri bit her lips, "And.. at one point, we lost each other"
"Oh.. I'm sorry..." Was what slipped out of Len's lips. But strangely enough, his heart leapt. Len felt the pressure he had felt earlier decreasing and he found it to be a bit easier to breathe.
Eri shook her head, "One day he asked me to meet up with him" she continued, "I figured he would end everything that day " She took a deep breath before continuing, "And when I got to the meeting spot..."
"W..what happened?" Len anticipated,
"Everything happened in such a slow sequence..." Eri shut her eyes and frowned, her brows knitted, "Miku and Kaoru hand in hand.. a car, heading their way, and Kaoru.. who covered Miku with his body"
Len was strucked by revelation. He had always thought that Eri's hostility toward vocaloids despite being a vocaloid user was something uncanny and that although he himself is a vocaloid, he always find that she was more gentle toward him than she has always been toward Miku. Now he finally understood.
"Kaoru was rushed to the hospital, but eventually..." Eri didn't finish her sentence, she covered her mouth with her hand, "But until his last moment.. There has always been Miku in his heart" Eri remembered how she took Kaoru's trembling, cold hand as he whispered with his diminishing voice, those words that had hurt her greatly. One last message from her beloved who had shared so many laughs and tears together was, "Protect Miku... he said to me... with that regretful look in his face" Eri said with great disdain in her voice.
"And that's why you took Miku to be your vocaloid?" Len's expression saddened,
Eri nodded, "the day after his funeral, I asked Negi to pair Miku up with me but the procedure went awry and I almost died on the table"
Len gulped, "that was scary"
Eri laughed a little, "Yeah... I thought so too, but I have my good friends by my side, and that gave me a little bit of courage" Eri was reminded of her dear friends who had been there for her when she went through hell. She remembered then, her fight with Kayoko that has just happened. She reflected on herself and felt a pang of guilt running across her back. Perhaps she truly had been weighing her dear friends down with her burden all this time, she thought.
"And did you quit your university because of that?" Len glanced at Eri.
Eri shook her head in disagreement, "The faculty decided to expel me because they found out about my relationship with Kaoru" Eri was clearly still bitter about her expulsion.
"What?! but Kaoru had gone by that time!" Len suddenly realized that he had slipped his words, he covered his mouth with his hands, "Sorry, I didn't mean to.."
"They didn't care that Kaoru was gone" Eri smiled, she ruffled the boy vocaloid's hair, "Losing Kaoru and ultimately losing archaeology, I was so lost I couldn't help but to turn to realizing Kaoru's dream to 'protect Miku'" Eri released a deep heavy sigh in her frustration, "Who knew, that Miku could be very successful like this, and I.. just like Kayo said, am living Kaoru's life instead of my own self."
Len could not believe everything he had heard. He had thought that Eri was a grumpy and cold person. He had never thought that everything was only a cover up, not in an attempt to hide anything, but in an attempt to stay strong. By putting a cold front toward everyone, Eri had forced herself to move on when she was actually not ready yet.
"Eri-san..?" Len glanced at the woman beside him furtively, "I didn't know..."
"Of course you didn't!" Eri said to him, "You've just been here for a month haven't you?"
Len's disappointment at how little she knew about Eri was clearly noticeable. Eri tried to cheer him up, she patted his shoulder, "you shouldn't worry about it too much" she said, "For someone who knows me only a month, you're way further than anyone, even from Negi and Kayo back then"
Somehow that made Len felt better only a little. He knew more about Eri now, but there was something that he still find that he was inadequate with. Unexpectedly, Len stood up. He faced the big blue sky, his back toward Eri who squinted to see the silhouette of the boy vocaloid against the sun, "Len?"
"I've decided then!" He said to himself before turning to Eri. He knelt in front of her and inched toward the woman who was now perplexed and a little bit nervous.
"What what? decided what?" She lost her balance but immediately supported herself with her hands on both her sides.
"I've decided that you'd let me sing!" Len was certain now, that he had to have Negi perform a checkup on him, because at that time, he felt a sudden rush of excitement only from looking at Eri from a close distance.
"How come that's your decision?" Eri frowned,
Len shook his head, "It's not ONLY my decision, but I've decided on MY part" Len looked straight at Eri's eyes, he was smiling, "I've decided that I'd secure a place in your heart and I'll replace those pain you feel... no.. I'll erase them!"
Eri pushed Len away, she stood up abruptly, "I don't find such joke funny" she turned and was about to leave the place when she felt Len grabbed her by her hand.
"And I wasn't joking" The boy vocaloid put up a serious expression, "Eri-san! I've been thinking.." he involuntarily squeezed Eri's hand, "I might be just a life-form created for singing... but I want purpose no.. I need purpose! I need a reason why I must sing other than because I had been created to sing"
"Then go find your reason for all I care" Eri struggled to release her hand, but the boy vocaloid was a bit too strong for her despite his boyish appearance. His height measure up to only few centimetres shorter than the woman. Eri couldn't believe that this boy was the same one who had greedily gobbled french pastries in the user's room back in vocalodome. At that moment, she couldn't see the boyish innocence coming from the determined eyes of the boy vocaloid clad in yellow.
"But I've found it, the reason why I want to sing, and it's because I want to make you happy, Eri-san!" Eri stopped struggling, "Give me a chance... tell me YOUR decision" Len could feel Eri's fingers clenched, and for a few moment doubt enveloped him, but he braced himself.
"Make me happy... how could you say that easily..." Eri was downcasted for a moment before she lifted his head to look at Len, "Fine! I'll give you your chance, but you owe me one answer"
"And that is...?"
"Why me?"
Len fell silent. Eri's words were as spot on as a hunter's arrow aimed perfectly at an unaware prey, "It's you because... um.." Len gulped, he knew or rather he felt the answer but couldn't put it into words because he did not understand what that feeling he felt called. The database stored in his system does not covered the description of feelings and their name. His grip on Eri's hand loosened.
Eri sighed, "Just as I expected..." he shook her head lightly, "That's allright.. you don't need to answer it, I'll let you sing..." She said, turning her back to the boy vocaloid and walked toward the elevator.
"No!" Len barked, "I'll answer it! I will definitely answer it! I just need some time!" Len ran to the woman's side and entered the elevator with her, "You just wait and see!"
"Yes yes..." Eri brushed Len's words as she pushed the 'down' button. She took a glance at the boy vocaloid who was now fussing and grumbling; she found his boyish innocence back. Maybe it was just my imagination back then she thought, slowly shaking her head, What a mess you had left me in, Kaoru...But I won't clean it for you anymore... I've decided myself as well that I'd start living my own life again.