Dean doesn't know what the day is, the month or even the year is right now as he feels white hot pain lash through his body. Blackness surrounds him and he moans reaching out into nothing feeling cool hands clasp around his wrist.

"Cas" he moaned feeling fear strike his heart as he panicked opening his eyes to see concerned faces looking down at him. "Cas? Where-where's my…Where's my Cas?"

"Mr Winchester, my name is Maria and you are at the hospital" a soothing voice said calming him down as he struggled to sit up.

"Where's Cas?" he shouted up at her as she pushed him back down.

"Mr Winchester, we must insist you calm down"

A sharp pain struck the side of his head and he groaned feeling nausea stir inside him, Maria noticed shoving a brown bowl under his mouth as he vomited into it. She rubbed his back gently as he finished falling back down.

"How do you know my name?"

"The paramedics took your phone off you and made a few calls to what they hoped where family members"

"Are they…"

"They are in the waiting room, do you remember what happened?" she asked.

Dean closed his eyes still tasting the acidic taste of sick in his mouth and nodded slowly. "Something hit us"

"A truck skidded on an icy patch when breaking and it slammed right into you"

"How long have I been out?"

"Around four hours, you've remained unscathed a few bruises and cuts and a nasty bump on the head but you're lucky" she said scribbling notes down on her board. "But try not to sleep, you may have concussion"

"Castiel…my husband, where is he? Is he okay? He isn't…" he said trailing off when his words choked him.

Maria glanced up towards the doors and moved towards him resting a hand on his arm.

"Your husband took more of the impact and has suffered severe head trauma and massive amounts of blood loss" she said sympathetically. "He's in a coma"

"What?" he breathed sitting up and wincing a little at the pain in his ribs and stared up at her. "Is he okay though?"

"He's stable"

"I need to see him" Dean said getting out of the bed. "Take me to him right now, I'll live"

Maria frowned at him roaming an eye over him before nodding him and leading him to a private room down the hall. Dean peered in and swallowed hard seeing him lying there surrounded by machines and unconscious. He saw white gauze covering his forehead and frowned walking over and ignoring Maria's protests he peeked under it to see a large gash in his forehead.

"It's not deep but it will scar"

"Like that freaking Harry Potter" he murmured stroking a hand down his cheek. "Baby, can you hear me?"

Castiel remained still breathing in and out as he breathed through a breathing tube in his nose.

"Your family is in the waiting room" she reminded him and he nodded bending down and pressing a kiss to his lips.

"I'll be right back" he murmured. "I love you"

Dean nodded at her as he looked back to Castiel feeling fear creep into his heart as he exited the room and headed towards the waiting room to see Sam, Ellen, Bobby, Jo waiting for him.

"Dean" Sam said jumping up and placing two big hands on his shoulders. "I got a call from a paramedic to say you and Cas have been in a car accident"

"Yeah" he said wincing a little until Sam noticed and removed his hands. "I'm alright but, Cas is in…he's in a coma"

Ellen looked to Bobby who patted her on the shoulder leaning against her gently.

"Is he going to be alright?" Jo said squeezing his hand.

"Who knows" he murmured softly. "But I really hope so"

"He'll be fine, son" Bobby said gently and Dean glanced up to him with a nod.

"I'm going back to him" Dean muttered turning his back on them feeling like he was in a daze or a dream. He swallowed thickly walking back to the room and dropped down on the seat clasping his hand kissing his knuckles gently.

"Please wake the hell up" he murmured squeezing his hand. "The joke is over now"

Dean rested his lips against his knuckles and closed his eyes feeling waves of sickness overcome him and watched him sleep.

A hand touched his shoulder and he glanced up to see Sam by his side.

"Do Balthazar and Gabriel know?"

"I don't think so…could you…?" he said patting his phone and pulling it out surprised. Sam nodded taking it off him and dialling Gabriel's number.

"Yo!" Gabriel said happily.

"Gabriel, it's Sam here" Sam said walking out of the room and back into the waiting room meeting the curious expressions of his family.

"Sam? What's up?" he said surprised.

"It's Castiel and Dean" he said simply listening to the silence at the end for a long minute.

"What's happened?" Gabriel whispered.

"They had a car accident, Castiel's in a coma" he murmured softly turning his back on them all and listening to the quickening breath of Gabriel.

"What the hell…I spoke to him this morning!" he said shouting now.

"It was a couple of hours ago now, Dean was out cold and I couldn't get to you"

"How is Dean?"

"A few bumps and bruises but he's okay, Cas has a head trauma" he said scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I can't believe this" he whispered and the jumped up grabbing his bag. "I'm leaving on the first flight and try and get hold of that wanker, Balthazar"

"We'll see you soon" Sam said softly. "I'm sure he'll be fine"

Gabriel stood up straight and licked his lips nodding. "I know, he's a fighter, always has been"

Sam heard the click of the phone and the dial tone before dropping the phone from his ear turning to Ellen who smiled sadly at him.

"Gabe is on his way"

"Good, he'll need his brothers"

Sam nodded looking away from her exhaling a held in breath wondering how to say the words.

"What if he doesn't make it? What if he doesn't wake up?"

"Hey! You can't think like that" Ellen said pointing a warning finger at him. "Dean needs us right now and you can't go spouting all that talk"

"Dean won't be able to cope" Sam said in a tiny voice.

Ellen sighed and nodded bringing him into a tight hug. "I know but he'll wake up, he'll do it for Dean"

Sam nodded hugging her back gently and let go of her to return back to Dean who was praying inwardly for the first time in 10 years.

~0~

Dean didn't know what was happening outside or inside as he stared at Castiel for what was the 10,000th time watching his progress. It had been a week now and there was no sign of him awaking him for his coma, doctors and nurses were constantly telling him not to worry and let his body heal so he can wake up. They allowed him to sleep in the bed next to him as long as no one needed it and thankfully they hadn't.

A knock on the door startled him and he looked up to see Gabriel and Balthazar walking in holding a white bag.

"What's that?" he murmured sitting up looking over to him.

"Not for nothing but you look like shit" Balthazar murmured looking him up and down. Dean now supported fine stubble, his eyes were tired and had black bags underneath and his clothes were rumpled.

"My husband and your brother is in coma" he snapped.

Balthazar looked away from him walking to the other side of the bed staring down at him as Gabriel took out some smelling oils handing it over to him.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Seeing if our Cassie responds to smelling oils" Balthazar said with a smile uncorking it and holding it over his nose. Dean waited with baited breath but they got no reaction.

"Damn" Balthazar said straightening up.

"You should get cleaned up" Gabriel said looking over to him.

"I don't want to leave him"

"I know but, Deano, you're stinking out the room" he said wrinkling his nose. "If anything happens, we'll call"

Dean sighed pushing himself up and pointed a warning finger at both of them. "Any change at all and you call me"

Balthazar rolled his eyes turning to look out the window when Dean flipped him the finger and kissed Castiel's forehead. Over the years there had been no love lost between Dean and Balthazar, their arguments often resolved Dean's hatred for the older and protective brother.

"I'll be right back" he murmured stroking his cheek before turning on his heel and heading back home for a shower and a shave.

The taxi back was daunting as he missed his car and wondered how the progress was back at the yard with Bobby but pushed it away as he paid the driver. He opened the front door and was greeted by a very excited Phoebe and a concerned Sam.

"Thanks for this" Dean murmured bending down and stroking Phoebe who whined under his touch. "Hey girl, are you missing us?"

"She's been fine and I think so, she keeps sleeping in your room" Sam said wiping his hands on a tea towel. "How is he?"

"Balthazar and Gabriel are watching over him while I shower"

"You do smell" Sam said with a smirk for him.

Dean smiled but it didn't reach his eyes as he threw the ball for Phoebe and walked up the stairs. Sam sighed watching her and smiling when she came to his feet.

"They'll be home soon" he said looking up the stairs.

Dean sighed entering the room raking his hands through his hair feeling like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He dropped down on the bed burying his face into Castiel's pillow inhaling the shampoo and faint smell of his aftershave groaning gently.

"Please wake up" he murmured turning his face feeling his heart ache in longing. He would do anything to see those blue eyes staring up at him again, Dean moved throwing off his clothes and wrapping a towel around his waist as he headed into the shower. He felt an old bang when he thought of last week and his eyes burned furiously.

"We should have never left the house" he whispered turning on the shower. All he wanted was Castiel awake, alive, and talking to him all over again and all he had was a comatose husband. His guilt didn't weaken it only grew stronger as he felt it over Castiel and now Sam who was staying on to look after the dog and him ignoring his personal studies. Sam refused to go back claiming he would be okay for his upcoming exam in a few weeks and his first and only priority right now was his family.

Dean scrubbed hard and positioned his face under the water feeling the warmth numb his aching head and looked down with a sigh. He wasn't a religious man and after the death of both parents he chose to believe there was no God but that didn't stop him praying.

"Come on, I'm believing just this once and you're ignoring me here!" he hissed a prayer staring up at the white ceiling. "You want me to believe? Then you bring him back, I love him far too much to let him go and you do your fucking job!"

Dean grabbed the razor shaving off his stubble feeling angrier by the minute and only got the satisfaction he deserved when he finished and threw the mirror against the wall. It smashed hard against the wall and he sighed feeling a trickle of relief flowing through him.

"Dean?" Sam said knocking on the door alarmed.

"It's alright, Sammy, I've just…I smashed a mirror" he murmured. "Got myself about 7 years bad luck though"

Sam let his forehead rest against the panel of the door in his own relief. Dean wrapped a towel around his waist and opened it up to see a startled Sam.

"You mind?" Dean said annoyed when he shuffled back and darted away back downstairs. Dean quickly dried and threw on a pair of clean clothes and grabbed his keys heading back downstairs.

"You want anything to eat?"

"Nah" he murmured wrinkling his nose and greeting Phoebe who jumped up at him barking loudly.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll be home soon" he said scratching behind her ear. "Be good"

She jumped down running into the kitchen and he smiled amused before looking up to Sam who nodded at him.

"I'll be back tomorrow, thanks for this Sam"

"You're my brother" he said simply with a shrug. "You need me"

"Yeah" he said with a nod opening the door and dialling a number for a taxi back to the hospital feeling something new settling in his stomach and he hoped it might be hope.

~0~

It was 9pm when Dean settled back into his chair reading some book one of the nurses gave to him out of interest. It was quiet on the ward and the occasional nurse would come into to check his meds and his machines saying a quick "hello" and leaving out the door.

He sighed looking over to him and cursed his new feeling of hope again; he wasn't waking up anytime soon. He took his phone out to see three new messages from, Gabriel, Ellen, and Sam all asking for any information. Dean sighed putting it on the side next to him turning back to his book not seeing the reason to text back and tell them nothing had changed, nothing would change.

Castiel felt like he was swimming in treacle, everything hurt all over and his head sparked pain occasionally. All he wanted to do is open his eyes and he couldn't seem to do that. He sighed reaching out and heard what sounded like a scuffle and something tugging on his hand.

He moaned reaching out for something, anything, but found nothing as he struggled to open his eyes but to what?

Dean didn't notice his hand twitching the first time but when Castiel hit him gently reaching out he leaped out of his feet throwing the book down clasping his hand.

"Cas? Baby?" he said when he moaned turning his head. "Okay…nurse"

Dean dropped his hand darting towards the door and finding the nurse at her station.

"I think he's waking up!" he shouted at her as she jumped up alarmed heading towards him.

The nurse entered to see him tossing his head back and forth still not awake.

"It may be a nightmare" she murmured resting a hand on his forehead. "Castiel? Castiel, if you can hear me open your eyes"

Castiel heard the strange unknown voice and opened his eyes carefully to see a blur of colour and two faces staring back at him. He groaned feeling a pain in the centre of his forehead scream back to life.

Dean's relief flooded through him as Castiel stared between them confused.

"Castiel, my name is Maria, I am one of nurses here in Lawrence Memorial Hospital, do you remember what happened to you?" she said to him.

"My head really hurts" he said in a croaky voice. Dean circled the bed staring at him as he took in the fact he was actually awake and looked up at the ceiling.

"Thank you" he mouthed and glanced back to Castiel who was still staring at the nurse.

"You were in a car accident, Castiel, you suffered some severe head trauma and you've been in a coma for a week now"

"Was anyone else hurt, doctor?" he said looking up at Dean who blinked at him.

"What?"

Castiel's brow furrowed and he glanced at the nurse who was also frowning at him.

"I asked if anyone else was hurt, where was I when this happened?" he asked swallowing hard. Dean looked up at the nurse in horror as she circled the bed pushing Dean out of the way.

"Okay, Castiel, look at me and only me. I want you to answer a few questions for me"

Castiel nodded slowly feeling his panic rise inside him, why couldn't he remember the accident, who were these people around him and why did he hurt so much?

"What is your name?"

"Castiel Novak" he whispered back at her.

Dean blinked startled and slowly shook his head, he forgot the added, "Winchester" in his name.

"How old are you?"

"I'm…26?" he whispered back up to her brow furrowed.

"Okay, good, now Castiel what was the last thing you remember"

"I don't know"

"Do you remember the accident?"

"No"

"What can you remember?"

"Nothing" he said his voice cracking.

Maria turned to look at Dean for a moment before turning back to Castiel.

"That gentleman over there, do you know who he is?"

Castiel turned his head towards the man and shook his head slowly.

"No, who is he?" he murmured up to her.

Dean stepped forward feeling a tremor run over him as he stared down into those blue eyes and his heart, stomach, lungs and every organ in his body dropped down to his feet when he saw no recognition, no love, and no relief.

"Cas, it's me"

Castiel shook his head looking towards Maria and back up to Dean.

"Who are you?"

Dean covered his mouth backing away looking to Maria who looked back to him shocked.

"Tell me this is some sort of sick, fucked up, joke" he hissed at her.

"I need the doctor" she said running out of the room. He stared after her before turning towards Castiel who looked so scared and so vulnerable in the bed staring at him with frightened eyes. Dean didn't know how to feel, he was so numb, so in shock and so in denial as he walked over and sat down heavily on the chair. Castiel backed away from him in bed alarmed as Dean moved forward.

"I'm Dean Winchester, Cas, I'm your husband" he said staring into those eyes, those eyes he had prayed and wished so hard to see and he got his wish but not all of it.

"My husband" he murmured and shook his head. "But I don't know who you are"

"You do" Dean said pointing at his hand and grabbing it gently holding it up to show him the wedding ring.

Castiel inhaled sharply staring at the ring and back to Dean shaking his head.

"But I don't know who you are…who the hell are you?" he shouted at him alarmed moving far away from him.

Dean jumped up needing to get out of there as the doctor came in and he shoved him away speeding down the hall rounding the corner breathing hard. He turned breathing out slowly leaning against the cold wall and feeling his heart slam against his rib cage again and again. A hot sweat rose over him on his skin as Castiel' words screamed in his ears.

"Who the hell are you!"

He kicked the wall angrily over and over again before giving up and falling back against the opposite side of the wall breathing hard. His foot ached and he felt exhausted as he brought his hand up staring at the wedding ring on his finger.

"Mr Winchester?" Maria said standing over him as he stared at the wedding ring.

"He doesn't remember me" he said in a dull voice.

"It seems Mr Novak has suffered some memory loss due to his head trauma" she said softly and looking at him when he stood up.

"Memory loss?"

"Yes, he doesn't seem to remember anything right now but it will slowly come back to him"

"How bad is it?" he whispered.

"We won't know till we run further tests but from what we know now, it's severe"

"How severe?" he murmured gripping the back of his neck.

"He has no memory of you, the car accident, and no memory of the last years of his life"

"Nothing?"

"He mentioned a name"

"What name?" he said leaning towards her.

"Gabriel" she said with a shrug.

Dean inhaled staring down the corridor and nodded. "He would remember only his brother…will he get them back?"

"It depends…"

"What does that mean!" he shouted at her getting alarmed looks from doctors and patients still awake.

"It will take time! Memory and the brain are a precious thing, Mr Winchester, your husband has been through an ordeal that I am afraid has affected him mentally and physically" Maria said placing a hand on his shoulder ignoring when Dean attempted to shove it off. "You need to be there for him, he may or may not remember in time but you need to give him that"

Dean nodded feeling the burn of emotion in his throat and eyes. "I know"

Castiel sat in the empty room staring at the gold band on his finger confused. Where did it come from? Who was that man? He shifted uncomfortable when he saw the man who called himself, Dean, walk in and smile at him softly.

"Hey, Cas" he murmured sitting down exhaling his breath. "I know you can't remember me right now but…we're married and we have been for six years"

"Six years?" he breathed horrified staring down at the ring. "How is that possible?"

"What is the last thing you remember?"

Castiel closed his eyes seeing the scene before him. "I'm younger I think and I'm with two men…I remember the names, Gabriel and Balthazar, we're in the middle of the country"

Dean felt realisation flood through him and he swallowed nodding. "You took a trip in school for two week with your brothers"

"Yes, it feels like yesterday" he murmured looking down at his gown and picking at it confused. "I have no memory of you, sir"

Dean felt a shudder run through him and fought back his nausea as he looked back up at him and shook his head.

"Dean, you have to call me, Dean" he said sharply and softened his tone when Castiel backed away from him.

"I'm Dean, okay? We're together, Cas, we have been for a long time and I don't…I don't understand how you can just forget six years of your life but remember a trip before we met?" he said in a desperate tone clutching his hair looking down at the bed. "I'm so fucking in love with you and…do you feel anything at all for me?"

Castiel swallowed shaking his head and feeling a wave of sadness when Dean moaned pressing his hands over his eyes. It was silent and awkward for Castiel as he fingered twisting the ring on his finger.

Dean stared down at the white bedding for a long minute before looking up to Castiel's wet eyes as he cried silently.

"Cas?"

"I don't know who I am" he sobbed looking over to him. "I don't know how I got here, I don't know who you are and you claim to be my husband, we're married, and I don't-I don't…" he said trailing off as his tears coated his throat.

Dean climbed onto the bed slowly taking him into his arms and sighing in relief when Castiel allowed it sobbing into his shoulder.

"I'm here, I'll always be here and I'm going to fix this like I always do" he whispered into his hair. "You will remember"

Castiel didn't know how to feel as he cried into the strangers shoulder letting him hold him and listened to his words not knowing whether to trust him and had never felt so afraid in his life or what he could remember.

This was just the beginning.

A/N: It's like an angst festival here.

Anyway, reviews please! Tell me if you like it or not? I have the feeling people don't like it…