"Kissing"

I smiled at our four-year-old daughter in the rearview mirror as she clambored into her carseat, her seven-year-old brother following not far behind, weary and frayed at the edges from their long day at school.

"How was school, guys?" I asked, trying to bolster Caleb until he could get home and have a snack.

"Good," Caleb sighed, snapping his seatbelt into his booster seat.

"I saw something yucky on the playground," Ruby declared, as though she had seen something truly revolting.

"Oh yeah? What was it, Roo?"

"I saw one of the fifth grade girls kissing a boy." Ruby giggled as if it was the most insane thing she'd ever seen.

Caleb looked at me in amusement as I tried to contain a laugh. "Kissing a boy, huh?"

"Yeah. So yucky."

"Why was it yucky?"

"Because girls kiss girls and boys kiss boys," she said, as though that were the most obvious thing on earth.

I tried to fathom how Ruby had gotten this idea. Of course she was used to you and I kissing, but it was hard to believe that she'd never seen a man and a woman kiss in a casual context.

But then she added. "Boys and girls only kiss on TV. Or on the cheek if they're good friends."

Ruby's self-created logic was beyond amusing.

"That's not true, Ruby," Caleb said, patient as ever. "Grownups can kiss whoever they want."

"No, you have to pick one person forever," Ruby declared with certainty.

"Have you picked your person?" I asked her, eager to hear her response.

"No…" she said, slightly sad at the prospect.

"It's okay, Ruby," Caleb said. "It's because you're special and special people can only kiss other special people."

Ruby seemed to mull this over for a second, but I had to seize the opportunity to explain that human sexuality isn't so black and white.

"Caleb's right," I said. "Special people can only kiss other special people forever, if they want that. But it doesn't matter if you pick a boy or a girl. You can be special with any kind of special person."

Ruby frowned, so I continued. "Before I was with your Mama, I kissed boys and girls. If I had never met your Mama, I would still kiss boys and girls. It's okay to kiss whoever you want."

Ruby seemed alarmed at the prospect of me kissing anyone but you. "What about Mama?"

"Well, Mama kissed some boys too, but she likes kissing girls best. If she didn't marry me, she would only kiss girls."

Ruby's eyes seemed to settle, since at least something was black and white. "Well that's good," she said. "I hope they don't have germs."

The kids looked out their respective windows for a minute as we journeyed home before Ruby thought of something. "Hey, wait!" she protested. "Mama kisses Caleb!"

I smiled at her in the mirror. "Those are a different kind of kisses," I explained.

"Yeah, not the lovey-dovey kind," Caleb chimed in. "They're not the kind that means you want to go to the movies and hold hands the whole time."

Ruby settled back down in relief. "Kissing is confusing," she grumbled.

I giggled and said nothing, glancing back at Caleb who was smiling back at me in amusement.