A/N: I don't know how this one was longer than Wrath, but w/e. This isn't the best one I had, but it sort of worked for the character. I do go on a random Chair tangent, but I somehow managed to actually connect it to the point I was trying to make. Which only means one thing: getting closer to more relevent topics that appear at the end.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl. Or Chuck Bass (sigh). If I did, he would tone down the angst for a few seconds.

Gluttony

Serena Van der Woodsen

Serena was used to the lifestyle of over indulgence. She was from the Upper East Side, for God's sake. But no one could over indulge like Serena could. When she returned from boarding school she had convinced herself that she was retired from the lifestyle.

Serena was done with drinking. She didn't go to bars anymore when she was obviously 15 but was let in anyway. She wasn't suddenly pressed with the urge to jump on tables and start dancing. She wouldn't go out on Thanksgiving and do shots with the sad people who had nowhere else to go.

She was done with meaningless sex. She was done with blacking out and waking up in some random guy's hotel room. She had ruined her relationship with her best friend because of over indulging in sex. She had ruined her friendship with her best friend's boyfriend by indulgence.

She was done with Georgina Sparks, who had leaded her on this destructive path. Or so she thought. When Georgina returned, Serena's world was turned on her head.

She thought she was on the right track. She had a stable boyfriend, no matter how judgmental he may be. Her relationship with Blair was back to where it was supposed to be. Serena had feared, however, that her somewhat judging persona that was developing was a result of Judgment itself Dan Humphrey.

She couldn't help but be aghast at Blair's own relationship that was developing with Upper East Side's resident bad boy, Chuck Bass. And she couldn't help but feel hurt when Blair called her jealous. Time was, Serena would have jumped at the chance to add another guy to her list of "banged." This hurt, because she knew that it was true. Months ago, it's exactly what she would have done.

Serena should have seen it, but Blair was only so defensive because that's what she did when she cared for something. When Blair thought something was in danger of being taken from her, she struck back with ten times the force she was hit with.

So when Georgina Sparks entered her life, Serena couldn't help but revert into herself. She hadn't any idea what could be done. This was the Georgina who brought the devil out in her.

Serena did the only thing she could think to do when put under pressure like this. She relieved herself by committing herself back to the lifestyle. She over indulged in partying. The only reason she did this was to protect what she loved. Georgina threatened her the only way she knew how. If Dan found out about Serena's scandalous past, who knew what he would do. Serena couldn't let go of the one thing that kept her grounded.

Suddenly, Blair's actions seemed so clear now. Her best friend was clinging to the one thing that she knew. Chuck was exactly like her. Serena was surprised that she hadn't seen it before. They were both manipulative schemers, but they knew each other better than anyone.

Serena could not even begin to suspect what was going on inside of Blair's head. She could not unlock the mystery. Chuck seemed to have it down. He seemed to understand her emotions and actions as well as his own.

Serena couldn't help but think of how right they were for each other. Chuck was the only one who could handle an essence like Blair. He could actually take care of her. He could take her bitchiness, he even reveled in it. He understood her insecurities, and could make her feel worthy, like she was.

It went both ways, not that Serena cared about Chuck. But her step brother was a complex person, no matter who many people thought he was two dimensional. All he wanted was a father's love. That was why he searched for contact in the most physical way. Blair knew exactly what the neglect was like.

If Blair could trust Chuck to such a degree, Serena knew that she could too. She knew that he was known for keeping his mouth shut when need be, and being able to control any situation. He delivered.

That didn't stop Serena from continually falling for the same traps. She realized this proved one thing. Serena really hadn't changed like she thought. She really hadn't changed like she wanted to. She belonged in this world. She belonged in the Upper East Side. No amount of writers from Brooklyn could change that. Serena found that she could not stop over indulging.