"This is interesting," said Ross J. Kelly.
"Well, it's not too surprising," I said. "It doesn't surprise me at all that BSFA agents would use the positions of their office for their own personal benefit."
I had gone to the office of Ross J. Kelly to tell him about my encounter with the BSFA agent Natalie the previous night. His office was in the TransAmerica pyramid in downtown San Francisco.
"Tell me about yourself," said Kelly.
So I did, and I told the truth.
"Well, I can't put you on the witness stand with a story like that," said the lawyer. "And if it were true, you'd be long gone before the trial starts in May."
"Did Conrad tell you about where he came from?"
"I can neither confirm nor deny that. But this does give me a defense. If the BSFA is arbitrarily denying people the privilege to date for selfish ends, then I might have a jury consider that possibility."
"How will you prove that that is what they did with Conrad and Jewel?"
"I don't have to. If I can show that what you're claiming is a regular occurrence in the BSFA, then the jury would doubt the charges against my clients."
Later, I met with Conrad in the bar where I work. It was not very busy, so I had time to talk to them. I served Conrad a Miller Genuine Draft.
"Did you tell him where you're from?" I asked.
"Yes, I did," said Conrad. "When he first heard it, he was going for an insanity plea."
"I understand. A couple of months ago I ended up in prison, and I told the warden I was from another universe, and the next day I end up in a mental institution. So, have you spoken to Jewel?"
"Only when meeting with our lawyer. Both of us are being monitored. I am sure they'll arrest us if they see us together."
"Listen, Conrad. I'm gonna look into this matter. See if there's anyone else willing to talk."
"Can you do that?"
"I'm a bartender; I speak to plenty of people. I leanred more from them about this world than when I researched it at the library."
"I'm glad you're willing to do that."
"I'm not long for this world, Conrad. This seems like a good way to pass the time."
It was time for me to act.
A young lady walked into a bar and ordered a drink. I got her drink, a mixture of Smirnoff vodka and raspberry juice.
"So tell me about yourself," I asked.
"Huh," she said.
"Well, it's not busy at the moment, and I like meeting new people."
So we talked and she told me some basics about herself.
"Have you ever heard of the BSFA?" I asked.
"Uh, yeah, they're those guys you have to report dating to."
After my shift was over, I went around to talk to women whom I've never met, hoping to see if they had any problems with the BSFA. I would offer to buy them drinks, using money I earn from tips. There was eighties music playing from a jukebox.
It was then that this lady I was talking to gave me the news.
"My ex-boyfriend was in the BSFA," she said. "After we broke up, he told me that I would never date in this town again."
"Can he do that?"
"Well, the BSFA requires couples to register before they could pursue a relationship. I've met some guys, but my applications keep getting turned down."
I decided to order her a Coors Light. "Will you be willing to swear to that in a deposition?" I asked.
"Huh?"
"I'm working with the attorney Ross J. Kelly, who is working on a case involving the BSFA. If you could deliver a sworn statement, maybe he can help you."
"What's his number?"
I went to the corner of the bar and looked through a Pacific Bell phone book. "Here it is," I said. "I think what they are doing is wrong and you can help."
The next day, I decided to pay a visit to the refugees' house in Walnut Creek. Conrad was at home, and he was putting a DVD into a Sony DVD player.
"What are you watching?" I asked.
"Back to the Future," he said. "It's a classic on this world as well as the one I lived on."
I spent the next two hours or so watching it. Basically, it is about a teenage boy who traveled back in time from 1985 to 1955. He screws up his parents' first meeting and he gets them back together. In the end, he drives the time machine into a nuclear blast at a nuclear test site and returns to his own time.
"My world's version is different," said Conrad. "For one thing, it was a lightning bolt that sent him back to the future, not a nuclear explosion."
"I've seen different versions of the same movie," I said. "But only the good ones. Listen, I want to search the Internet on the computer."
"For what?"
"To see if there had been any complaints about the BSFA."
"I'm sure there are complaints."
"I ran into a couple of people last night who had dating problems because the agency would not allow them. I'm sure this phenomenom isn't limited to San Francisco."
And so that is what I did. I went up to the study and turned on the Power Macintosh G4 and then opened the Netscape program which allowed me to access World Wide Web pages. And I looked for news events referring to the BSFA. I was an expert on research, as my friends and I would go to public libraries to research the worlds we visit. Conrad was standing behind me as I conducted my search.
Then I had luck. I read that some lawsuits were being filed against the BSFA. There were allegations of couples being rejected because of an agent's personal reasons. In some jurisdictions like Chicago, Illinois, there was a lawsuit alleging racial discrimination, because mixed couples were often rejected.
"You should save this," said Conrad. "Maybe our lawyer could use this. I wish I could call Jewel, but that would violate the court order and those BSFA guys might have a wiretap running."
"I could send Jewel a message." And that is what I did.
It was on February 23 that I went to the U.S. District Court in San Francisco, as a temporary aide to Ross J. Kelly, Esquire. Conrad and Jewel were with both of us.We went to a conference room where lawyers from opposing sides would meet.
I saw three people come in. Two of them I did not immediately recognize-but I recognized the woman who came with the two men.
and she recognized me.
"Colin," she said.
"You know that man?" asked one of the men.
"I ran into him in a nightclub."
"Colin here is a temporary aide to me," said Ross J. Kelly. "I've become busy recently and I decided to hire him for a while. And he's been very helpful."
The federal prosecutor introduced us to Supervising Agent Michael Hurley and Agent Natalie Nassau.
"We're willing to make a deal," said the prosecutor. "I have a lot of cases to handle, and two people who got frisky without permission is something I want to expedite quickly. The two of you can plead guilty to failure to register as a couple. You will both get probation, and you can see other people-just not each other."
"That's unfair," said Jewel.
"Federal court rules require full disclosure of all evidence in criminal cases," said Ross J. Kelly. "Your office was helpful in giving me the evidence for your case. I should return the favor and show you the evidence."
The lawyer gave the federal prosecutor some documents and statements.
"The BSFA has engaged in a pattern dfiscrimination and corruption. There are sworn affadavits from several Bay Area resaidents, and there are pending lawsuits against the agency filed in other cities like New York and Chicago."
"The trial isn't about them," said the prosecutor.
"Well, maybe my clients did fill out the forms but were not processed."
"You can't prove that."
"I don't have to. The evidence here will cast doubt."
"A trial could mean prison time for your clients," said the prosecutor. "Let's just make the deal so we can all move on."
"I suggest that you drop the indictment against Mr. Conrad and Miss Kilcher," said Ross J. Kelly.
"This is blackmail!"
"It's not blackmail," I said, inserting myself into the conversation. "We're not asking you to drop the charges or we go public with this. We're going public with this anyway."
"Listen you two!" shouted Natalie. "You don't know whom you're dealing with. We have power over your lives. We could make sure you never date in this town again! We could make sure you never date in any town again!"
I saw Supervising Agent Hurley look at Natalie with a glare, and she sat down.
"I wonder what the jury will think if they hear that little outburst," I said.
"you'll never prove it," said Natalie. "It's your word against ours."
"Except that this conference room is being monitored," said Jewel. "This isn't where clients meet privately with their attorneys. There is no attorney-client privilege here, and all conversations with criminal defendants-that's me and Conrad- are recorded."
"Let's make another deal," said tyhe prosecutor. "I will seek an injunction requiring the BSFA to register you two as long as you plead guilty to failing to register, which is a misdemeanor. You will be on probation for six months, and after that you're free."
"Why should they do that?" asked Ross J. Kelly. "They'll be acquitted once this evidence is shown. I was a prosecutor once, and I know an unwinnable case when I see one."
"Because until the matter is resolved, they are prohibited from seeing each other. They could be acquitted-but the trial might not end until fall, and they are under court order from being together. If you take my offer, they can be together this night."
Conrad and Jewel looked at each other. "We'll take it," said Jewel.
"I hope you won't go public with this," said Michael Hurley.
"Actually, now that I've seen evidence of criminal misconduct by federal law enforcement," said the prosecutor, "I'm going to have to act. I'll send this information to the attorney general's office."
"You can't be coming after us," said Natalie. "We're on the same team."
"I won't," replied the prosecutor. "It will be up to the attorney general. I do recommend you get a lawyer."
"I can't represent you two, since I will very likely be a witness against you," said Ross J. Kelly. "I can give you a referral."
Soon after that, the plea agreement was inked by the judge and Conrad and Jewel were released. They picked up the check reimbursing their bail and they were allowed to be together.
Saturday was the day I was to leave. I had quit my job, on good terms of course. I was at the refugees' house in Walnut Creek. Maggie Beckett, Angus Rickman, Wing, Diana Davis, Vladmir Jariabek, Alexander Hunt, Conrad Bennish, and Jewel Kilcher were there.
I told them all about my travels, and my life in El Segundo.I heard about their lives and their world.
"You know," said Wing, "the Chicago Cubs won the World Series from 1984 to 1995. On our world, they did not win since 1908."
"Who won last year's World Series?" I asked.
"It was the San Diego Padres," said Diana Davis. "I keep track of baseball."
At about 11 P.M., it was time for me to go. I stood a good distance from them to avoid taking them with me. I checked my supplies-Doritos chips, Fritos corn chips, and a bottle of water.
"Goodbye, Colin," said Conrad. "I'll never forget you."
"Thank you," said Jewel. "I hope you find your brother and his friends."
"I know they're alive," I said. "I have my sources."
And then I was gone from this world.
"Well, it's not too surprising," I said. "It doesn't surprise me at all that BSFA agents would use the positions of their office for their own personal benefit."
I had gone to the office of Ross J. Kelly to tell him about my encounter with the BSFA agent Natalie the previous night. His office was in the TransAmerica pyramid in downtown San Francisco.
"Tell me about yourself," said Kelly.
So I did, and I told the truth.
"Well, I can't put you on the witness stand with a story like that," said the lawyer. "And if it were true, you'd be long gone before the trial starts in May."
"Did Conrad tell you about where he came from?"
"I can neither confirm nor deny that. But this does give me a defense. If the BSFA is arbitrarily denying people the privilege to date for selfish ends, then I might have a jury consider that possibility."
"How will you prove that that is what they did with Conrad and Jewel?"
"I don't have to. If I can show that what you're claiming is a regular occurrence in the BSFA, then the jury would doubt the charges against my clients."
Later, I met with Conrad in the bar where I work. It was not very busy, so I had time to talk to them. I served Conrad a Miller Genuine Draft.
"Did you tell him where you're from?" I asked.
"Yes, I did," said Conrad. "When he first heard it, he was going for an insanity plea."
"I understand. A couple of months ago I ended up in prison, and I told the warden I was from another universe, and the next day I end up in a mental institution. So, have you spoken to Jewel?"
"Only when meeting with our lawyer. Both of us are being monitored. I am sure they'll arrest us if they see us together."
"Listen, Conrad. I'm gonna look into this matter. See if there's anyone else willing to talk."
"Can you do that?"
"I'm a bartender; I speak to plenty of people. I leanred more from them about this world than when I researched it at the library."
"I'm glad you're willing to do that."
"I'm not long for this world, Conrad. This seems like a good way to pass the time."
It was time for me to act.
A young lady walked into a bar and ordered a drink. I got her drink, a mixture of Smirnoff vodka and raspberry juice.
"So tell me about yourself," I asked.
"Huh," she said.
"Well, it's not busy at the moment, and I like meeting new people."
So we talked and she told me some basics about herself.
"Have you ever heard of the BSFA?" I asked.
"Uh, yeah, they're those guys you have to report dating to."
After my shift was over, I went around to talk to women whom I've never met, hoping to see if they had any problems with the BSFA. I would offer to buy them drinks, using money I earn from tips. There was eighties music playing from a jukebox.
It was then that this lady I was talking to gave me the news.
"My ex-boyfriend was in the BSFA," she said. "After we broke up, he told me that I would never date in this town again."
"Can he do that?"
"Well, the BSFA requires couples to register before they could pursue a relationship. I've met some guys, but my applications keep getting turned down."
I decided to order her a Coors Light. "Will you be willing to swear to that in a deposition?" I asked.
"Huh?"
"I'm working with the attorney Ross J. Kelly, who is working on a case involving the BSFA. If you could deliver a sworn statement, maybe he can help you."
"What's his number?"
I went to the corner of the bar and looked through a Pacific Bell phone book. "Here it is," I said. "I think what they are doing is wrong and you can help."
The next day, I decided to pay a visit to the refugees' house in Walnut Creek. Conrad was at home, and he was putting a DVD into a Sony DVD player.
"What are you watching?" I asked.
"Back to the Future," he said. "It's a classic on this world as well as the one I lived on."
I spent the next two hours or so watching it. Basically, it is about a teenage boy who traveled back in time from 1985 to 1955. He screws up his parents' first meeting and he gets them back together. In the end, he drives the time machine into a nuclear blast at a nuclear test site and returns to his own time.
"My world's version is different," said Conrad. "For one thing, it was a lightning bolt that sent him back to the future, not a nuclear explosion."
"I've seen different versions of the same movie," I said. "But only the good ones. Listen, I want to search the Internet on the computer."
"For what?"
"To see if there had been any complaints about the BSFA."
"I'm sure there are complaints."
"I ran into a couple of people last night who had dating problems because the agency would not allow them. I'm sure this phenomenom isn't limited to San Francisco."
And so that is what I did. I went up to the study and turned on the Power Macintosh G4 and then opened the Netscape program which allowed me to access World Wide Web pages. And I looked for news events referring to the BSFA. I was an expert on research, as my friends and I would go to public libraries to research the worlds we visit. Conrad was standing behind me as I conducted my search.
Then I had luck. I read that some lawsuits were being filed against the BSFA. There were allegations of couples being rejected because of an agent's personal reasons. In some jurisdictions like Chicago, Illinois, there was a lawsuit alleging racial discrimination, because mixed couples were often rejected.
"You should save this," said Conrad. "Maybe our lawyer could use this. I wish I could call Jewel, but that would violate the court order and those BSFA guys might have a wiretap running."
"I could send Jewel a message." And that is what I did.
It was on February 23 that I went to the U.S. District Court in San Francisco, as a temporary aide to Ross J. Kelly, Esquire. Conrad and Jewel were with both of us.We went to a conference room where lawyers from opposing sides would meet.
I saw three people come in. Two of them I did not immediately recognize-but I recognized the woman who came with the two men.
and she recognized me.
"Colin," she said.
"You know that man?" asked one of the men.
"I ran into him in a nightclub."
"Colin here is a temporary aide to me," said Ross J. Kelly. "I've become busy recently and I decided to hire him for a while. And he's been very helpful."
The federal prosecutor introduced us to Supervising Agent Michael Hurley and Agent Natalie Nassau.
"We're willing to make a deal," said the prosecutor. "I have a lot of cases to handle, and two people who got frisky without permission is something I want to expedite quickly. The two of you can plead guilty to failure to register as a couple. You will both get probation, and you can see other people-just not each other."
"That's unfair," said Jewel.
"Federal court rules require full disclosure of all evidence in criminal cases," said Ross J. Kelly. "Your office was helpful in giving me the evidence for your case. I should return the favor and show you the evidence."
The lawyer gave the federal prosecutor some documents and statements.
"The BSFA has engaged in a pattern dfiscrimination and corruption. There are sworn affadavits from several Bay Area resaidents, and there are pending lawsuits against the agency filed in other cities like New York and Chicago."
"The trial isn't about them," said the prosecutor.
"Well, maybe my clients did fill out the forms but were not processed."
"You can't prove that."
"I don't have to. The evidence here will cast doubt."
"A trial could mean prison time for your clients," said the prosecutor. "Let's just make the deal so we can all move on."
"I suggest that you drop the indictment against Mr. Conrad and Miss Kilcher," said Ross J. Kelly.
"This is blackmail!"
"It's not blackmail," I said, inserting myself into the conversation. "We're not asking you to drop the charges or we go public with this. We're going public with this anyway."
"Listen you two!" shouted Natalie. "You don't know whom you're dealing with. We have power over your lives. We could make sure you never date in this town again! We could make sure you never date in any town again!"
I saw Supervising Agent Hurley look at Natalie with a glare, and she sat down.
"I wonder what the jury will think if they hear that little outburst," I said.
"you'll never prove it," said Natalie. "It's your word against ours."
"Except that this conference room is being monitored," said Jewel. "This isn't where clients meet privately with their attorneys. There is no attorney-client privilege here, and all conversations with criminal defendants-that's me and Conrad- are recorded."
"Let's make another deal," said tyhe prosecutor. "I will seek an injunction requiring the BSFA to register you two as long as you plead guilty to failing to register, which is a misdemeanor. You will be on probation for six months, and after that you're free."
"Why should they do that?" asked Ross J. Kelly. "They'll be acquitted once this evidence is shown. I was a prosecutor once, and I know an unwinnable case when I see one."
"Because until the matter is resolved, they are prohibited from seeing each other. They could be acquitted-but the trial might not end until fall, and they are under court order from being together. If you take my offer, they can be together this night."
Conrad and Jewel looked at each other. "We'll take it," said Jewel.
"I hope you won't go public with this," said Michael Hurley.
"Actually, now that I've seen evidence of criminal misconduct by federal law enforcement," said the prosecutor, "I'm going to have to act. I'll send this information to the attorney general's office."
"You can't be coming after us," said Natalie. "We're on the same team."
"I won't," replied the prosecutor. "It will be up to the attorney general. I do recommend you get a lawyer."
"I can't represent you two, since I will very likely be a witness against you," said Ross J. Kelly. "I can give you a referral."
Soon after that, the plea agreement was inked by the judge and Conrad and Jewel were released. They picked up the check reimbursing their bail and they were allowed to be together.
Saturday was the day I was to leave. I had quit my job, on good terms of course. I was at the refugees' house in Walnut Creek. Maggie Beckett, Angus Rickman, Wing, Diana Davis, Vladmir Jariabek, Alexander Hunt, Conrad Bennish, and Jewel Kilcher were there.
I told them all about my travels, and my life in El Segundo.I heard about their lives and their world.
"You know," said Wing, "the Chicago Cubs won the World Series from 1984 to 1995. On our world, they did not win since 1908."
"Who won last year's World Series?" I asked.
"It was the San Diego Padres," said Diana Davis. "I keep track of baseball."
At about 11 P.M., it was time for me to go. I stood a good distance from them to avoid taking them with me. I checked my supplies-Doritos chips, Fritos corn chips, and a bottle of water.
"Goodbye, Colin," said Conrad. "I'll never forget you."
"Thank you," said Jewel. "I hope you find your brother and his friends."
"I know they're alive," I said. "I have my sources."
And then I was gone from this world.