What Really Matters
Left your t-shirt in my room, still smells of you
and the picture you hung on the door lay smashed,
picture perfect
explains now, clearly
nothing left, but a memory
Automatic Loveletter- Make-Up Smeared Eyes
(A.N.): Well hello again ;). I must say all of your reviews made me smile, it was so hard to choose just one but I eventually managed to slap myself and get it done :P. The best review was from none other than melissaamary55 and that hilarious review is down at the bottom of this chapter. Here's chapter 4!
Enjoy :D...
(Disclaimer): It's safe to say that my name is not Stephenie Meyer and because of that I must announce that I don't own Twilight.
Chapter 4- Make-Up Smeared Eyes
"Bye Bells." Alice, Rose and Emmett called as they dropped me off at my house the next day.
"Bye guys." I waved them off from my doorway, my shopping from yesterday in hand.
I left my bags in the hallway as I shut the door and made my way to the kitchen.
"Dad." I shouted. No reply.
It was then that I saw the note that was stuck to the fridge...
Bells,
Harry Clearwater has fallen seriously ill, I don't know if you'll be at home tonight but I'll be at Harry's helping out. If you are home then I'm sorry for leaving you alone but I left you some money for a take out if you don't fancy cooking and I'll be home tomorrow afternoon sometime.
If you don't want to stay home alone tonight then you could always come over to Harry's, Billy is staying too as is Jacob. Both he and Leah have been asking when they're going to see you again.
Whatever you decide...
Love, Charlie
I'd have to ring and wish Harry well but I really didn't fancy going and staying over tonight. I didn't much, fancy staying home alone tonight either, Saturday night was always mine and Edward's movie night. It was my turn to choose and he'd always moan at me for choosing something girly or romantic but I knew he secretly loved them.
I sighed heavily and reached for the phone. After three rings someone picked up.
"Jakes vampire crematorium, you stake em and we'll bake em, how can I help?"
I burst into fits of giggles, it had been so long since I'd spoken to Jake and I'd forgotten that he always answered the phone like that.
"Ah Buffy, our loyal customer! How's life?" I could hear the grin in his voice.
"It is what it is Jakey, how are you? I've missed you!"
I genuinely had missed Jacob, he always managed to make me smile like this. He was brilliant.
"I am fabulous my dear Bella and I have to say I'd be lying if I said that I did not miss you."
"Well for that I am glad. Is my dad there... No don't put him on I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear that Harry's sick and I hope he gets better soon."
"You coming over tonight Honey Bee? Leah's crazy about seeing you too." He asked.
"No I'm not sorry. I just want to be on my own tonight. I don't suppose Charlie told you?"
"Aww Hells Bells and yeah he did, he wants us to spend time with you, cheer you up I think. If you want to of course."
"Oh I'd love that Jakey-poo, I missed you and Lee-lee a-hella-lotta but if we are meeting up to spend time together then I'd love it if you could meet my friends Alice and Rose, they're fantastical." I smiled.
"Oooh sounds juicy Honey Bee, shall we all meet up for a coffee tomorrow? You can call Alice and Rose and we'll meet you down in the good ole' Bottomless Cup Café in Port Angeles at twelve-ish."
"Sounds like a plan Jakey-poo. I'll see you then."
"Bye bye Honey Bee."
Jesus I loved Jake! He was like that, a single five minute conversation with him could lift your spirits no matter what mood you were in. The only problem now was that he was not here with me, neither was Alice.
This would be the first time that I'd been on my own since Edward had decided he wanted more than I could give him. There were no distractions from my thoughts, they were free to wander wherever they pleased.
I shook my head and picked my phone up again. It only took one ring before it was picked up this time.
"You've reached wonderland, Alice speaking."
"You answer the phone like that too!" I laughed.
"Like who and what?" Alice sounded so confused.
"My friend Jacob always answers the phone with something funny like that and so do you."
"Oh right! Who's Jacob and why haven't I heard about him before?" She giggled.
"Jake is an old friend his dad and Charlie are the best of friends, Charlie's also friends with Harry Clearwater who has a daughter around Jakes age, she's one of my friends too. I've not seen them in a while and I was going to meet up with them tomorrow at lunch. I wanted to know if you and Rose wanted to come too."
"Of course, a friend to you is a friend to me. Where and when?" She said in her sing song voice.
"That coffee shop in Port Angeles, The Bottomless Cup Café at around twelve."
"I shall see you then my lovely, would you like me to pass the message on to our dearest Rosalie?"
"Indeed I would Alice."
"Alright well I'll see you tomorrow but before I go, I have one thing to ask. How are you feeling?"
How are you feeling? The one question I had no idea how to answer. Did I lie? I was a terrible liar, Alice would see through me instantly. I didn't want to freak her out by telling her exactly how low I was feeling.
"I feel better than I did but I still feel crappy." I decided to sugar coat it a little and crossed my fingers in the hope she would believe me.
"Well I suppose that's a little better. Take care Bella, I'm only a phone call then a twenty minute drive away."
"Thank you Alice, bye."
"Bye Bells." She whispered as I hung up. I loved how much she cared but I didn't want her to constantly worry about me.
I decided to take the bags that I'd left in the hallway up to my room to unpack them but that's only a job that keeps the hands busy. Not the mind. I thought about Edward. Would he have been able to tell that I was lying, even on the phone?
I don't think this new Edward would but my old Edward would've. He'd be in his car on the way to my house, I'd steal one of his t-shirts and he would sit me in his lap and rock me back and forth, whispering beautiful things in my ear that would cheer me up.
I removed most of my old underwear that wasn't particularly nice any more and threw it into garbage bag. An old jumper was about to fall down the back of the drawers, I pulled at the sleeve until it landed in my lap and I realised just who's jumper this was.
I quickly pulled it over my head. It didn't smell like him, it smelt like me but it was his nonetheless.
This jumper was like Pandora's box, it opened up all the emotions that I'd held back these past few days. I missed him, so much. More than I should after what he'd done to me but that's not the Edward I saw in my head when my thoughts drifted to him. The Edward I saw was the one I fell in love with, the one that cared about me so much that he'd spent a whole year just trying to get me to open up after my mom died, the one that spent a whole year trying to stop me from living like a zombie.
Now I didn't have him and I didn't have my mom. All I wanted was to go back to when I was fourteen, to when my mom would wrap me up in her arms like she had done when I was a baby. She'd tell me stories about her life and she'd tell me everyday how much I meant to her. How I was her miracle. My mother couldn't have children but somehow, when she'd given up hope, she fell pregnant with me.
My world was crumbling around me once again. I just sincerely hoped that I could build it back up again. Or were there too many cracks now?
I dragged myself up onto my bed, kicked off my jeans and curled up into a ball under the covers with Edward's jumper on still. I was exhausted and soon drifted off into an uneasy sleep with dreams of things I'd never have.
I woke up in the morning with a pounding headache. Groaning, I dragged my sorry ass up and into my bathroom.
The mirror probably wasn't the best place for me to look. My hair was all over the place, a haystack as Edward used to call it, and my eyes were all puffy.
I shook my head, today was a new day and I was going out with my amazing old friends and my amazing new friends and I sure as Hell was gonna have a good time! No more dreary Bella from this day forward. I was strong and independent and I shouldn't be moping around because of one stupid guy, yes I did love said guy but he didn't love me, that was a given. So I should move on just like him and that is what I intended to do.
I had my shower and I got dressed, I wore my new purple underwear, my jeans, a black tank top, my silver flats and my jacket.
I curled my hair slightly and put a little bit of make-up on. I didn't usually wear it but this was a new turn, a new me and the new me was going to look nice.
By the time I was ready it was 11:40 and time for me to set off. I walked over to my C.D. Rack and pulled out my Lady Gaga C.D. I actually was in love with Lady Gaga and so what if she's not every body's cup of tea, she was mine and that's all that mattered.
I walked out to my mom's mini. I never usually drove since Edward used to always pick me up and drop me off wherever but I did love this mini. My mom had loved it too, she used to take me for trips to the ice cream parlour whenever Charlie was working late. We'd listen to 80's music and talk about anything and everything. When she died Charlie couldn't bring himself to sell it and so, gave it to me when I was old enough to drive.
I popped my C.D. In and drove off in the direction of Port Angeles. I felt so carefree, I could tell that this was a turning point in my life, a great one and I knew that my friends would be happy for me.
I pulled up into the parking lot and made my way to the little coffee shop, it was a surprisingly nice day and I could already see Jacob and Leah sitting at a table outside. They both stood up and waved like maniacs when they saw me.
"Honey Bee!" They both chorused as they enveloped me in a giant hug.
"Jakey-poo, Lee-lee! God I've missed you." I beamed as I took my seat across from them.
"We have missed you too Honey Bee and I have to say holy shizzle you are looking hella fine. What have we missed?" Leah appraised my outfit with a nod, as did Jake.
"Thank you ladies and I'm making a fresh start. I think one has been long overdue." I announced.
"Well I'll drink to that! Excuse me." Jake called to one of the waiters who came and took our order immediately.
"Where are your friends?" Leah asked.
"Here!" Alice yelled as she and Rose pulled up chairs next to me.
"Hey guys. Alice, Rose this is Jacob and Leah. Leah, Jacob this is Rose and Alice." I introduced my friends to each other.
"Oh it's lovely to meet you ladies, but please call me Jakey-poo and this right here is Lee-lee, Bella is Honey Bee and let me just say that you girls are all smoking! I must be the luckiest gay man here to have such lovely ladies. Maybe we'll attract more men." Jake winked.
"I love him Bella!" Alice gushed as Rose called the waiter over to take their order.
"I love him too, I love them both. Did you know that they both own a beauty salon along this row of shops? Yeah, it's called Bushwhackers." I grinned.
"I'm in love with the name." Rose laughed.
"It's our baby. We graduated from high school last year with just enough money saved to buy the place and now we've got it up and running properly, it's doing so well." Leah exclaimed proudly.
"Wow that sounds amazing, it's been so long since I've been to Port Angeles no wonder I haven't seen it." Alice said.
"Well we expect you to come and visit now you know it's here." Jake chuckled.
"Oh of course!" Alice and Rose agreed.
Just like that they hit it off. Alice and Rose were even given nicknames Alice was Ali-cat and Rose was Ro-roe. I loved how well we all gelled together. This was right.
"Honey Bee that hot guy over there is checking you out!" Jake leaned over and whispered, pointing to a tall, blonde who was sat with his coffee reading a book. He was strikingly good looking. Sandy blonde hair and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen.
I blushed when he caught me looking.
"Oh my gosh you have to go over and talk to him!" Rose encouraged.
"Do you really think?" I bit my lip.
"Yes!" They all practically screamed.
I stood up nervously and walked over to where he sat.
"Excuse me, I was just wondering what you were reading." I smiled shyly as his eyes met mine. He was even more handsome up close.
"Oh it's called 'Looking For Alaska' it's by John Green why?" His voice was husky and I liked it.
"You seem so engrossed I just wanted to know if it's any good." I put on my silkiest voice and prayed to God that whatever I was doing it was right.
"I'm enjoying it yes. May I ask you're name?" He smiled.
"My name's Bella."
"Beautiful, like yourself."
I blushed at his words.
"Your turn." I giggled.
"I'm James."
(A.N.): Oooooh and there you have it, chapter 4 and we have some lovely new characters. I hope you all don't think that James is going to turn into some nasty, woman-beating character because he's not. He shall be as polite as he is now all throughout his stay here in my story :).
Also, I sincerely hope no one is angry because I made Jacob gay it's just that he can be a lot more involved if he's gay. I hate Bella/Jacob couplings and if Bella's got James then adding Jacob to the mix as well as Edward will create a love square and let me tell you they're no where near as fun as love triangles ;D. Plus a gay best friend is what every lady needs.
Now, referring to my challenge in the previous chapter melissamary55 won however, two people got the sneak previews (not the same one) because they were both lovely reviews! Here is the review that showed how melissamary55 would get revenge if it was her in Bella's shoes and wasn't she right on the mark?
If I was in Bella's shoes I would move forward and show Edward that she could move on and don't show him weakness even if in the inside she feels horrible but like I said, don't show weakness in front of him and also show him what he is missing.
Thank you and review!
Love you darlings :D...
-XColourOfAngelsX-