"Attention students," Principal Li announced at the next day's school assembly. "I know we are all excited to begin another morning here at...Lawndale High."
"I think I'm already in mourning," Daria said to Jane.
"And now, please welcome our ambassadors of alpaca," Li chortled, "The Fashion Club, as they make a special announcement."
There was muted applause as the four girls strode confidently onstage. Ms. Li grudgingly gave up the podium.
"Thank you," Sandi said with faux-sincerity. "We, the Fashion Club, would like to remind all our fans and admirers here..."
"Not to put their lunch up their noses?" Jane finished.
"...That as trendsetters and role models for all students, we were greatly looking forward to our obligatory role in the Lawndale High Community Involvement Project beginning next week," Sandi lied. "However, we regret to announce that we must withdraw from the project due to some...um...challenges now being dealt with by our club Vice President, Quinn Morgendorffer."
Quinn eagerly leaned in front of her to reach the microphone. "I'm a psychopath now!"
The sound of Daria slapping her own forehead could be heard throughout the auditorium.
"The school psychologist still has to run a diagnostic or whatever, but lately I've really been going mental and stuff. So don't mind me if I do anything strange! My head may be a little funny, but it's not like I'm a brain. And remember, you too can overcome your mental problems if you look your best from the outside in. Thanks!"
Much louder applause erupted in the room.
"Daria? Do you know anything about this?" Jane asked.
"Too much, Jane. Too much."
Ms. Barch walked into the science lab after lunch that day to get ready for the next lesson. As she rummaged grumpily around in her desk, arranging papers and wondering which MALE students she would target today, something distracted her.
She heard noises from the storage room. Whimpering. Crying. The sounds of animals in pain. And underneath it all, a girl's mocking laughter...
The science teacher's pace quickened to match her heartbeat. Something was wrong. She had to get to that room.
She broke into a run and burst through the door. "What in the name of Goddess is going on in here?!"
Quinn stood completely still, facing the wall where all the cages were. Now she slowly turned around, gesturing to the gruesome scene with a strange look on her face.
"What do you think, Ms. Barch?" asked Quinn. "I'm torturing them. Psychopaths don't feel anything for others and some of them torture small animals when they're young. Didn't you know that?"
"What? T...torturing?!" Barch took a shaky step forward and switched on the light.
"Well, DUH," Quinn said impatiently. "Just look at the outfits I made them wear!"
Clothes. All the animals were dressed in their own little clothes, none matching and all highly unfashionable, huddled in their cages and mewling for help.
Quinn sighed. "You have NO idea how hard it is to put a turtleneck on a real turtle. But I did it for science."
Barch screamed.