So we wandered around Ouran for a while. It was huge. You, reader, probably have an image of Ouran in your head. Now, multiply it by three, and you might be halfway there.

Ouran was ridiculously, selfishly big. On each window was a colorful picture which, when the sun hit it, would paint the room in its colors.

Sunako didn't mind the building. "I bet the basement is haunted," she told me with a twinge of fear in her voice.

Yes, Sunako was afraid of ghosts. We have had our fair share of ghosts, and each time they do something to Sunako, like possess her or something, and so by now it should be second nature to see a ghost. But she still had her fears, and that was fine.

We walked outside, following a smell that seemed like one from a fancy restaurant Auntie is always trying to make Sunako go to. I knew it was going to be their cafeteria. It kind of pissed me off.

We walked in and the smell hit us full-force. It was good, actually. Sunako drooled onto my arm.

There was no one in the cafeteria, save for a small group of boys looking at a newspaper and snacking. One of them was biting their thumb anxiously.

"Two copies!" he was crying. "Only two copies!"

Sunako ignored him as she walked to the counter. "What are you serving?" she asked.

The cafeteria worker turned to us and screamed, but her scream was soon stifled. "W-we're, umm, serv-serving, umm, duck as-as-as our, umm, set, uhh, set A, miss."

Sunako smiled. "I'll have that, then!"

"One-one-uh, yes, one moment, miss," replied the woman, who scurried away into another room.

The cafe was so silent, that all one could hear was the boy growling: "how can we possibly hope to keep our paper going longer than the end of this semester? No one's buying! Two copies, and those were bought by the two of you!"

Sunako wandered over, automatically going over to help the sounds of the distressed boys.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

The three looked up at her and screamed, but stopped when they saw they had nothing to fear, other than looks. I saw that the three were not handsome, and so Sunako was fine.

"We're not able to sell our paper," one of them said. He had chin-length brown hair and glasses, and he was the only one sitting down. A boy with a bowl haircut sat to his right, and a clean-cut boy to his left.

"Why not?"

The boy sitting was silent, and so the boy with the bowl haircut said, "our paper has all gossip. No one's gonna buy it, sir, you know that."

"Yes, exactly!" the other standing boy urged. "Let's make a change!"

"Shut up!" the boss of the three growled, and the other two fell silent. It was obvious there was something more important than just a school paper on their minds, but it was impossible to tell what.

Sunako frowned. "You should listen to them. They really want to help you, you know. Take their advice. I'm sure if you made good, honest articles, everyone would be interested-"

"No one would be interested! Not with that host club around!" the long-haired one yelled.

Hey, don't yell at her!

He couldn't hear me, and continued. "Don't poke your nose around where it's not needed!"

Sunako only stared at him with sad, naive eyes. Then, she walked away. "Fine; if you don't want my opinion, I won't give it to you. Good luck with your failing paper."

At that moment, the cafeteria worker stuck her head out and called, "M-miss, your duck is-" Sunako turned to the cafeteria worker, who finished her words quickly "-its ready hurry please and it's on the house thank you!" and she dashed back into the kitchen, leaving the tray of steaming duck on the counter.

Sunako waddled over to the tray of fancy duck and grasped it in both hands. She then brought it over to the table closest to the counter and set it down with an echoing clank!

She sat me on the chair next to her and began to eat.

"Uhhmmm, excuse me?"

Sunako turned, but I was at an angle so that I could not see who had called her.

"Will you buy one of our news papers?"

In the reflection of Sunako's eyes, I saw the long-haired boy from across the cafeteria.

"No!" Sunako objected. She turned sharply around and continued her meal.

There was a moment of silence, before we heard again, "Uhhmmm, excuse me?" These voices were different.

Sunako turned and I could see the reflections of the boys in her eyes. They were the other two.

"Will you... do you think you'll buy a newspaper?" the bowl-haircutted boy asked.

"Sure!" Sunako agreed. I wasn't surprised.

She fished in her pockets and pulled out some money and handed it to them in return for the paper. She opened it and set it on the table and read the headlines. Sunako's eyes looked up at me and she turned my body so that I could read too.

"Bankrupt families in Ouran?!"

Sunako turned the page.

"Forbidden romance between battling families: a modern Romeo and Juliette!"

Uninterestedly, Sunako flipped to the next page.

"Aliens running free in Kyoto!"

"Ohh!" she exclaimed as she chewed.

Reported over the weekend, supposed aliens in Kyoto city were out playing tag in the streets.

This is ridiculous. It's obviously fake.

"Shh! Hiroshi! I'm trying to read!" Sunako mumbled.

Our own Renge, close friend and manager of the host club, was shopping in Kyoto that night.

"Yes, I saw them!" Renge stated in fear. "They came out of nowhere! I ran away, and ruined my dress! They were green, with egg-shaped heads and long, slender bodies. They had no *censored* and they didn't have any clothes on."

Sunako took another bite of the duck and dropped some juice onto the page, staining the last sentences.

"They got me, even though I was running, and they took me onto their ship. It was circular and huge. When I got on, I thought they were going to take me away and experiment on me, but they were rather amiable. We just talked. They spoke both French and Japanese, and a few other languages. I recognized German and English, too. We talked in French. It was pretty cool, but I would never want to do it again!"

Alright, the description of the aliens' bodies sounds like it would come from that girl, but I highly doubt she knows what the word 'amiable' means, Sunako.

She ignored me and finished the duck. She placed the empty tray on the counter and grabbed me and the newspaper and left the cafe.

As soon as the doors opened, a loud and obnoxious chorus of "there you are!" rang out.

I looked up to see.... everybody.

"Let's go! Now!" Kyohei yelled, charging at us. He lifted Sunako with ease and raced toward the huge doors, with Yuki, Oda, and Ranmaru right behind him.

"No! You have to be hosts!" the twin boys screamed and chased us.

"Wait! Give the hostage back!" Renge was yelling as she ran past the twins and was soon match with the pace of Kyohei.

"Go away, crazy woman!" he commanded.

"No way!"

"Leave us alone!"

"No!"

"G-"Kyohei ran into the door and fell backwards into Oda, and the four of us went down with hard thumps!

Renge grabbed Sunako's wrist and pulled us a few feet away. We, once again, descended into the ground.

"Exactly how many of those things does this school have?" I heard Haruhi exclaim before the floor closed on top of us.

"No!" Kyohei jumped, just making it as the floor slitted closed, and landed on our platform so hard it cracked the marble.

"You're born hosts!" Renge exclaimed.

"I don't want to be a host!"

"Why?"

Sunako took me and turned around. We watched the floors change as we went down with no interest in the radiant beings' fight.

"I just don't!"

I knew he had had a hard life because of his looks. Women followed him all around. They left their husbands with silly hopes of becoming Kyohei's woman. He didn't need to be a host. He wanted to escape love, and easily-infatuated girls.

"Renge, stop," Sunako said softly without turning. "Let us go."

"But-"

"It's not fair, Renge." Sunako turned to her with a soft look in her eyes. "You should let people do as they please."

"I...." Renge looked down in shame. "Ok."