A/N: The holidays and different time zones have made it challenging to connect with my beta up to now. So if my punctuation suddenly seems better, that's because La Moonlight Lily is back to help me look good! Thank you so much, my dear 3
Mei remained rooted to the spot after Kakashi's rejection and hasty exit. At first, she thought his irritability stemmed from too little sleep and the round trip by train between their villages the day before. However, his behavior hinted at a deeper problem, and she couldn't help feeling that she was the source somehow.
It didn't appear to be something he was prepared to discuss, either.
Mei's need to protect herself from further hurt urged her to act, and she went into Kakashi's bedroom to gather her things to leave. She dressed quickly and quietly as she surveyed the room for any other belongings she'd unpacked while he had been away that morning. She realized her toothbrush and hairbrush were in the bathroom where he had shut himself in.
Pulling her suitcase behind her, Mei quietly walked to his kitchen and the door that led out of his apartment. On the table behind the box of pastries lay the scroll that Kakashi had used to seal the ornaments she'd purchased, and the sight of it stopped her in her tracks.
Kakashi had traveled all the way to Kirigakure to face her, proving he cared for her. The thought calmed Mei as she lowered herself to sit at his table and she curled her fingers around the scroll. She held it in her lap as she chastised herself for wanting to run away without a word to him about it. There had to be a reason for his sudden change in behavior towards her. She could understand needing time to sift through his emotions himself; she'd done just that the day before. Leaving would deny him the opportunity to explain himself.
She heard the bathroom door open and Kakashi's steps as he walked to his bedroom. "Mei!" he yelled as he ran to the kitchen where he didn't know she still sat.
He stopped when he saw her and leaned against the doorframe, visibly relieved. Mei's heart fluttered; she was glad she hadn't left. Kakashi's reaction was worth staying for, and it reassured her.
"I was afraid you'd left." His voice seemed quieter than usual, especially after shouting her name.
"I almost did." Mei met his eyes. "I'm glad I didn't, but I'm still afraid of whatever it is that's bothering you."
Kakashi flinched a little when she said she was afraid, and Mei didn't miss that. Something was weighing on him, and she was encouraged to offer the plan she had been forming after her temper had cooled.
"I'm sure that all the inns in Konoha are booked for the holiday. I'm going to see Lord Seventh and discreetly ask to be given a guestroom in the Hokage Tower."
Kakashi tilted his head to rest it against the doorframe, but his eyes didn't leave hers. "I've ruined the holiday for us." The defeat in his voice, his quickness to blame himself, was so unlike the Rokudaime Hokage as she had come to know him. It made Mei's chest ache.
"You haven't ruined anything Kakashi. Truth be told, I'm still a little shaken by the doubts I had yesterday. I do not doubt you," she was quick to amend her statement and pursed her lips while she gathered her thoughts.
"I don't blame you for second-guessing… whatever this is between us," she waved the hand that didn't hold the scroll between them as she spoke, "after I've said there are things in my past that I'm unwilling to share. I would be suspicious of me too." Mei let her hand fall with a weak laugh. "I just want to give you a little time and space away from me to think, and I don't want to be on the receiving end of your frustration while you sort it out."
"I don't want," Kakashi began but stopped himself. He closed his eyes and exhaled audibly through his nose. He opened his eyes to meet hers and crossed the room to where she sat.
His knees made a popping sound as he crouched down in front of her. "I am trying to make sense of something. But I assure you," he covered her free hand with his, "it has nothing to do with your past."
Mei looked down at their hands and turned hers over to press her palm to his. She looked up at him again when he lifted his other hand to pull his mask down.
"Whatever this is between us," Kakashi repeated her words, "is important to me. I'm not as worried about the past as I am about the future. I'm sorry for how I acted when I came back."
He cupped Mei's face with his free hand. "I don't want you to feel like you have to leave to give me space. I don't want you to leave at all, but I'll respect your decision if that's what you would prefer."
"You don't want me to leave?" Mei asked, searching his eyes.
"I don't want you to leave," Kakashi replied without hesitation. "I know that I'm asking a lot of you to be patient with me while I resolve this on my own, but I can promise you that I won't take it out on you again." He squeezed her hand before adding, "and I don't want to change our holiday plans either, Mei."
Mei searched his eyes once more before lowering hers to her lap. She gazed at the scroll she held while she considered her options.
She didn't want to leave, especially after their plans had already changed once. The previous day had worn her out, and Mei supposed she was still sensitive from it. She didn't know if she would be up to the challenge of remaining so near to Kakashi physically while his mind was elsewhere, but if she left, she knew she would drive herself crazy overanalyzing and worrying by herself in a guestroom. Her mind made up, she lifted her eyes to Kakashi's again and nodded. "I'll stay."
"Thank you." Kakashi smoothed his thumb over her cheek and stood up and away from her so she could stand as well. Mei set the scroll down on the table again and pulled her suitcase behind her to his bedroom once more.
She brought it on top of the bed and opened it again. Mei wanted to unpack and feel settled, but after Kakashi's annoyance at her rummaging through his cupboards to make coffee, she was nervous about intruding on his space.
Pushing aside the stubborn, fleeting thought that she'd made the wrong decision she unpacked only those items that needed to be hung up. Mei retrieved her toothbrush and hairbrush from his bathroom and closed them away along with the rest of her toiletries, her other garments, and the gift she'd finished wrapping before their rushed departure from Kirigakure the night before.
She poked her head out to the hallway and found Kakashi still standing in the kitchen. He was gazing at the floor, one hand stuffed in a pocket and the fingers of the other tugging lightly at the mask bunched around his neck. Mei cleared her throat to catch his attention gently, and he looked up at her. "I have a couple of things I'd like to hang up if that's alright?" she asked.
"Sure, there are spare hangers in the closet. Help yourself."
"Ok," Mei whispered to herself as she turned back to her task. For a man that was so upset by a woman invading his kitchen, Kakashi was strangely open and inviting about his bedroom closet. She opened the closet door wondering why women had been dubbed the moodiest of the sexes and looked inside.
There were two rows of neatly hung garments within. The rod furthest from her supported trousers and two yukatas, while the one nearest to her was where he hung his shirts and vests. His articles of clothing were organized by color: pea green, dark blue, grey and black. It made Mei think of a somber sort of rainbow as she reached for two spare hangers that had been neatly pushed to one side.
Mei threaded the hangers through the straps of the two dresses she'd brought and carried them to the closet where she hung them neatly apart from his other clothes on the rack in front. She checked to make sure they hung above the floor of the closet and found a small, brightly wrapped package with her name on it next to a few pairs of shoes.
Mei smiled at it and resisted the urge to shake it and guess at what he had chosen for her gift. She closed the closet door and leaned against it. With her ability to be patient with him renewed, she pushed herself away from the closet and returned to the kitchen where he stood.
Kakashi drew in a quick breath and dropped his hand from his mask when she entered. "Ready to go look for a tree?"
"Actually, I meant it when I said we didn't have to hurry and find one." Mei picked up her cup that she'd abandoned earlier and poured the now-cold coffee down the drain. She poured a fresh cup from the pot she had brewed and turned to face him again.
"I really am worn out from yesterday. Would it be alright if we just sat still for a day?" She eyed him cautiously as she blew on her coffee before taking a sip from it. "I wouldn't mind curling up with a book, taking a hot bath later and ordering dinner in. We have time tomorrow before we're expected at dinner with your friends, right?"
Kakashi's shoulders relaxed, and his eyes brightened. It seemed that having a quiet day agreed with him, too. "We do have time tomorrow." He smiled as he shrugged his vest off.
Encouraged that he was relaxing a bit, Mei returned his smile. "You have quite a collection of books in the other room. Would you mind if I just chose one for myself then? I'll stay out of your hair after that."
Kakashi's spine stiffened. He went pale before scratching at the back of his head. "I'd better help you navigate my collection." He coughed. "Or we could make a quick trip to the Konoha Library."