I opened my eyes to quiet. I looked around and saw a nurse was pulling up some data and she noticed me awake. She smiled and checked my vitals.
"Feeling better?"
She said in a heavily accented voice.
I nodded and then got up. I checked my data pad and noticed I had a class I was teaching in an hour. I grinned; life never stops even if we want it to. I cleaned up and dressed. I couldn't seem to get the energy to braid my hair so I clipped it back, but left most of it loose. I hoped I would not get in trouble for being out of regulations, but was too tired to truly care.
This showed a lot about my state of mind. I walked to the classroom and as the door hissed open, I was relieved to find the class still empty.
I set up my touch board and sat. Several Cadets walked in talking about a hard exam. I heard male laughter and I knew it was Kirk. He was flirting with a green skinned Cadet. I bit back a laugh. McCoy was behind them, lost in whatever he was reading. As if sensing me he looked up. Some of the strain on his face eased at seeing me here. I nodded at him and waited for all the Cadets to sit down. Once there was quiet I began.
"What is the purpose of this class?"
I looked around and noticed no one offered a word.
Many nicknamed this class social grace, but it was a cultural class for learning about others so that we did not insult or hurt with our actions and words. I gave a soft smile.
"We are ripples and everything we do touches others whether we know it or not. We have to monitor our own actions, and ourselves. There are many cultures out there and some vastly different than our own. As officers of the federation, we can either cause peace or war."
I told them to open their holo books to a specific page.
I talked for about thirty minutes about Klingon's and their culture. Things were tense, to say the least, between the Federation and the Klingon's at this time. The bell chimed and class was over. I watched the cadet's file out. McCoy came up to me and his eyes scanned me.
Always the doctor, I laughed.
"I am fine McCoy, stop worrying about me"
I was lying but he did not need to know that. He had too much on his plate. He shook his head.
"Not buying it, but, we will talk later, oh feisty one."
I rolled my eyes as he spoke knowing it would make him grin.
He did, then left laughing. I stood there in the now empty classroom. What was I going to do? I could not force a vision, nor could I try to delve deeper into this one and find out more about it. How could I receive such a vision and not know how to stop it?
A vicious headache slammed into me as I tried to replay the vision. I had known better but could not stop myself. I gripped the chair and fought to breathe.
I heard the door hiss open and knew it was Spock.
A groan filled my lungs.
Why was that whenever I was the most vulnerable that blasted Vulcan seemed to show?
"I sensed you are hurting that is why I came. Does that answer your question?"
My head snapped up and I knew my eyes where flashing anger.
"Stop reading my thoughts, Vulcan."
I was not used to anyone getting around my mind shield; he was the first since I had taught myself how to guard my thoughts. How he was able to conceive such an action confused me.
So I voiced this.
"Why does my mind shield not stop you?"
He tilted his head and folded his hands in front of him. His movements where calm and very graceful. I could not help but appreciate the way he moved. No movement seemed rushed or wasted.
"To correct the first, I can not help but sense your thoughts, it has been something that has intrigued me since I meet you. As for the second, I am not all together sure. I know Betazoid's to have very strong mind shield and I can sense yours but for some reason it does not stop me from hearing your thoughts."
Something whispered in me, mother had told me once a long time ago.
That 'only the one who was designed…'
I broke off that thought forcefully.
No way was I going to even allow that thought to finish itself in my mind. I leaned back and looked at this man in front of me. I studied him trying to understand this pull.
He was taller than most men with very black hair cut in the normal Vulcan style. He had a very aristocratic face. With had high slashing cheekbones and a full mouth. His eyes were mostly brown with slight hints of yellow. They where an odd, striking color. Almost whiskey colored if it had not been for the deeper brown flecks. His body frame lent to being lean, but when he moved a certain way I could tell he had muscle mass on him. In a smooth movement he stood up as straight as he could and then held still. He knew I was examining him and allowed this for some reason. His hands fascinated me, I must admit. They were long and tapered. Whenever he used them it was in a graceful, almost musical way. My eyes traveled back to his face and I could swear he had a very male look on his face.
"Are you done? Did I pass?"
His voice was calm but I could sense a trace of humor underlying it.
The impulse to kiss him just to stun him shocked me. I have never wanted to kiss anyone. I had flirted with the idea when I had my crush on McCoy, but I was young and very naive at the time. I was no longer this naive. I had never kissed a man or been kissed.
I took a step closer to him and watched that eyebrow of his raise at my action.
"And if I said yes Spock? What would you say?"
My hand move without thought and touched his hand that he had placed on the chair neck to me
What the heck was I doing? My God was I flirting with a Vulcan? Had my brain taken a leave of absence without my permission?
I waited for him to say something cold and logical after all that was what Vulcan's were known for. Instead he did something that shocked me. His eyes flickered to my lips. I felt my breath catch as heat rolled through me.
I sucked in a deep breath, becoming light headed. Would he kiss me? I did not think Vulcan's felt passion.
"Once again you are assuming about what you know little about."
His voice was very deep now and I felt myself tremble.
My com shrilled loudly in the room and I jumped back fast. I was flushed and felt bare. I pulled my hand off his and reached for my com.
"Yes?"
My voice was low and almost shaky sounding.
"Allora?"
My mother's voice rang out.
What timing she had!
"I am here, mom, did you need something?"
"Yes I need to talk you now. It is important."
I felt relief rush through me.
"Of course I'll be right there."
I gathered up my touch board and went to rush out afraid to look at Spock, afraid of what I would see or what I would not see
His hand shot out gripping my arm and stopped my actions.
"This is not over… we need to talk."
I looked at his hand on my arm as he spoke and fought my reaction to his touch.
"Why can't you be emotionally empty like other Vulcans?"
His head snapped back and in that instance I hated myself. There was no reason to be so horrible to him.
I felt a tear roll down my cheek at my meanness.
"Oh God, Spock, I am so sorry."
He started to withdraw from me, but I stopped him. My hand touched his face. This was a rare action for me and we both knew it.
"You unbalance me, Spock, and God help me, but that scares me."
I slowly let my hand slip from his face almost in a caress.
His eyes looked deep into mine.
"It would be illogical to let fear control you, Allora."
His use of my name vibrated through me.
"I know Spock, trust me, I know, but it is not illogical to have fear. Sometimes we use that fear to protect ourselves."
His eyes continued to look at me calmly and I forced my self to finish.
"Am I forgiven for my stupidity?"
He almost smiled; almost.
"Yes, but you are not stupid. I find those that feel strongly sometimes lash out to protect themselves, and yes, before you deny it, Allora, you feel strongly. What I do not understand is why you think I would hurt you?"
My mind flickered back to when I was fourteen.
"Because, Spock, I have trusted once before and it almost killed me."
With that I left as fast as I could. Who had I become? Since my fifteenth birthday I had been in control of my emotions. I had trained and trained till I was shielded and guarded. Why now, of all times, and with him of all men, was this happening to me? Then another question whispered in my head. Was I strong enough to handle this? I walked through the Academy lost in my own thoughts.