Here is the chapter in which Booth gets ready to confront Bones about all the impotency nonsense, and just why Junior is having problems saluting. This is a short bridge chapter for this story as I have been in the hospital for roughly five weeks now dealing with some cardiac issues, but I wanted to at least add something to it. I wanted it to be a blend of the serious with the humorous, so I hope this one works.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Booth was suiting up for his showdown with Bones. He'd heard some absolutely horrifying news that morning from an ecstatic Bones. Justice League, which, shock of shocks, just so happens to have Wonder Woman playing a prominent role, was hitting the local theaters in three days and Bones, bless her evil, maniacal little head, blissfully announced that she'd purchased three months of daily tickets online for the both of them, the first showing being, you guessed it, the good old midnight sneak peek that just frosted his cajones the last time. She'd also let him know that the results of his medical exam had come in (funny how they called her right away and ignored his sorry ass!) and there was no real physical reason for his sudden impotence (God he hated that word!), so if Junior wasn't back up to snuff and saluting to beat all Hell in three days it was Viagra time!
After almost spewing his morning coffee all over the place when he'd heard the joyous news he'd immediately gotten on the horn with Hodgins and demanded an update. Naturally the Bug Man was slow as molasses on this most important of projects, so he'd ripped the poor guy a new one and demanded a redoubling of efforts or Billy was going to be getting a little call from a concerned citizen (namely a highly decorated, high ranking FBI Special Agent who is also a former Army Ranger) who had his Baby Girl's best interests at heart. Maybe that would light a fire under Hodgins ass and he'd get on the stick! If Junior had to suffer the ignominy of needing Viagra, then the King of the Lab was going to be getting some new body art courtesy of that great equalizer Billy!
Now he was in his Man Cave getting ready to have a little chat with Bones. Looking around he smiled. He loved his Man Cave. Bones had been so relieved that he'd come back from the dead, so to speak, that she had had designed, and contracted to have built, his very own Man Cave. His last Man Cave had been a sickly four by six foot closet with a couple of autographed Flyer's posters and a couple of select Philly's pictures to ooh and awe over from the doorway (the plans for the glorious man cave in the previous house had bit the dust when it became apparent that there wasn't enough room for it and her Anthropologist's Cave, Bones having demanded in no uncertain terms that her sanctum sanctorum had total priority over all other hideaways!). This damn thing was absolutely palatial! Leather and wood furnishings! Sports memorabilia and autographed goodies from all his favorite teams and athletes! Full sized wet bar! 160 inch flat screen, wall mounted 4K Ultra-HD LED TV with 3D capability! Mini hot dog stand and bun warmer! Fully wired surround sound! The latest in gaming systems! She'd even put in his beloved stadium seats! And the best part? She had put a gold plated sign on the door labeling the room Booth's Man Cave! Bones, being Bones, had, given her literal mindedness, stated that the title meant what it said, therefor no girls or women allowed, and she enforced it, even on herself. It was so glorious that he'd had to pinch himself several times to convince himself it was real! That's why he was there right then. He was slipping back on his clothes in order to face Bones and he didn't want her getting suspicious too soon. He did a mental check on what he'd put on underneath his clothes:
Military grade body armor? Check. Bones still had that damn cannon of hers, after all!
Industrial strength polymer cup? Check. He did a double check on that one in case Bones decided to try and do some serious damage to Junior and the Boys.
Steel knee braces? Check. If Bones decided to take him out at the knees he was well guarded.
Back brace? Check. No sense winding up in traction!
Heavy duty military issue reinforced combat boots? Check. Need to make sure the old footsies/tootsies are safe and sound, after all. Bones knew all his physical weaknesses!
Heavy duty wrist braces? Check. He'd seen what she could do to a suspects wrists when she was pissed!
He'd seriously considered some riot gear with a Kevlar helmet and face shield, but decided that he could take a bit of a risk. Instead he was going to face her like a man. Yep! All suited up with the latest in body protection and ready to receive some punishment. Let's face it, though. Bones had turned Junior and the Boys into insubordinate soldiers and he wanted to make it clear that enough was enough. Of course, laying down the law with Bones was a Fool's Errand, but there was no way any little blue pills were going to invade the Booth & Bones Happy Home! Not on his watch! Taking one last mental inventory he nodded his head and opened the door of his Man Cave.
"Bones!" he called out. "We need to talk!"
A/N: Short, I know, but my health is not allowing me to do a great deal at the moment. I hope to be able to continue this story soon. Thank you for all those who have continued reading this one! Gregg.