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The Adventures of Steam Funk: Ch. 4
The three of us, Pinkie Pie, the Doctor, and myself, were sitting in the main control room of the TARDIS. We were discussing my fake life for my new pony-sona and running by almost every possible scenario that I would face so I wouldn't be caught off guard by somepony asking me, "When did you get your cutie mark?" and things along those lines.
"Alright. Well what about Fillydelphia? It sounds like Philadelphia, and that's near New York." I asked. Pinkie and the Doctor nodded their heads in agreement.
"Yeah, I think that's your best bet because you don't have a Manehattan accent and you aren't rich and snobby like the ponies are in Canterlot." The Doctor said, deep in thought, trying to think of anything we hadn't gone over yet.
"Oh! What about if somepony asks you why you don't like going to Los Pegasus?" Pinkie Pie blurted out.
I thought for a moment and then snapped my fingers and looked at her.
"My cousin had a tragic experience there and I've been terrified of it ever since." I answered, confident in my response.
Pinkie giggled. "This is fun! I should create a fake identity for myself!"
I looked over at the Doctor.
"Do you have a secret pony identity? I asked him. He looked back and smiled.
"You may have heard of a pony called 'Time Turner'." He responded.
"I knew it!" I shouted out. I always had a hunch, along with almost everyone else, that Time Turner was the Doctor. "So what's your story as a pony? I asked, seeing if I could get anymore information out of him. The Doctor looked at me and began to speak.
"Well, one day I was traveling along in the TARDIS and she discovered a rip in the universe. I was badly injured at the time, so I tried regenerating, but the TARDIS stopped me and then lost all power. She had crashed into something and then afterwards regained power. I was finally able to regenerate, but I didn't regenerate into my normal Time Lord form, but instead into Time Turner. I looked at the TARDIS's locator and realized we were in another universe. Not your average parallel universe, but an actual separate universe with its own parallels. I stepped outside and found another pony you might know. Her name was Derpy Hooves. She offered me a place to stay and the TARDIS had to map the new universe anyway, so I stayed with her at her house. I lived there for two years and while I was there I also met one of the Wonderbolts. The team leader actually."
"Spitfire." I said, finishing his sentence. He looked at me and then continued.
"Yes, Spitfire. She was glorious and I felt very attracted to her, but after being with Derpy, I had also developed feelings for her as well. I loved them equally."
"So what did you do?"
"Geez! You can't let me finish can you?!" He said to me, obviously annoyed and emotional. He continued.
"After the whole teaming together of villains and us stopping them, I had to regenerate again and this time I became Sandy Time. I ended up bringing both the mares with me on a few escapades and I eventually brought them back. And that's what's happened up until now." He said, shedding a small tear.
I was going to ask him what he was talking about with the "teaming together of the villains", but I decided against it. Although this story sounded very similar to my friend's, The Idealist 33, story on Fanfiction. I'd have to tell him when I got back that he was more accurate than he knew. Pinkie Pie just sat there, taking it all in and for once, not talking. We all just looked at each other, not saying anything. That is until the inevitable happened.
"Well those life stories sound a lot better than mine!" The pink mare shouted. "I mean, I had to work on a rock farm, where no one smiled or had fun or... ANYTHING! Just breaking rocks all day long. But one particular day, I was working and a beautiful rainbow came across the sk-"
"Yeah, I know." I said, cutting her off.
She looked at me and I instantly felt ashamed for being so rude. But that wasn't what she was focused on.
"How do you know? I know for sure I never told you. Unless I somehow got into the spiked punch and I told you while I was under the influence!" She said, starting to blush. "Please tell me I didn't tell you anything embarrassing!" She added.
"Pinkie Pie, it's okay. You didn't get into the spiked punch. I know because, um... the Doctor told me." I said, trying to calm her down and cover for myself.
The Doctor shot a wild glare at me, but I ignored him. Pinkie was eyeing me like she did to Applejack when they were throwing a surprise party for her and AJ was trying to hide it with "construction". She stared at me for a few moments longer before responding.
"Oh! That makes sense. I was starting to get worried that you were some kind of weird, mutated being that could read minds!" She exclaimed, almost as dramatic as Rarity. She was doing pretty good until she broke out laughing at her absurd idea. "Geez! What in the hay was I thinking?" She said between laughs, rolling on the floor.
The Doctor looked at her.
"Well, certain species can communicate on a telepathic level. For example, the Ood can talk to each other just by thinking." He said in a matter-of-fact tone.
Pinkie stopped laughing. She stood up and looked at the Doctor and then at me.
"But... you can't read minds, right?" She asked me.
I chuckled and and said to her, "No Pinkie. I can't read minds. You have nothing to worry about."
She put a hoof to her forehead and acted like she was wiping sweat off.
"Whew! Well that's a relief. All of that laughing has made me thirsty. You guys want anything while I go get something to drink?" She asked the Doctor and I.
"Yes please." I said and the Doctor responded with a simple "nah".
"Okie dokie lokie!" She said as she bounced through one of the doorways and down the hall.
As soon as the sound of her hoofsteps couldn't be heard, the Doctor instantly lit up.
"What was that?! Why did you drag me into your whole "conspiracy"?" He half asked, half whispered because of the fact Pinkie Pie had a tendency to appear out of nowhere. I looked at him, bewildered.
"Conspiracy? What makes you think it's a conspiracy? All I did was use you for a little help. It's not that big of a deal." I countered.
"Well you've got to warn me about those kinds of things."
"How am I supposed to warn you when she's right the-" I got cut off short by the pink mare walking back into the room with two glasses of lemonade.
"Hope you like lemonade Sammy. It was all I could find. It was either this or that spiked punch I mentioned earlier." She said, smiling and laughing at her joke. I also chuckled.
"Thanks. Lemonade is fine. Besides, I'm not much of a drinker." I answered, not even being at the legal drinking age yet. She must have thought the same thing as she laughed at my joke.
The Doctor kept a glare on when looking at me. I didn't understand what the big deal was. He did stuff way worse than this all of the time and he never even THOUGHT to tell someone before hand. Let alone even plan it to begin with. He just made the plan up as he went along. But I had to admit, it usually worked to his benefit. I took a sip of my lemonade and took my eyes off the Doctor.
Pinkie, who was now sitting next to me, was sipping on her drink through a straw. The Doctor stood up and started to walk away.
"Where are you going?" I asked him.
"To check and see if the molecular structure of the flesh has materialized yet."
"English please!" I yelled to him as he made his way down the hallway.
"I'm going to see if the flesh is done!" He yelled back as his footsteps faded. Pinkie looked at me after a couple seconds.
"You made him angry, didn't you?" She asked. I looked at her and shrugged.
"I guess. It wasn't even that big of a deal."
"Well, the Doctor is a strange man."
"Yeah, I know."
"But don't worry about it. He usually gets over things like this pretty fast." She said, comforting me. "Unless you're a Dalek. He REALLY hates those guys." She added.
I laughed at her joke but stopped as I heard running coming down the hall. The Doctor came flying into the room.
"It's done!" He exclaimed and took back off down the hall. Pinkie and I looked at each other and quickly followed him until we finally came upon the room that the flesh was in. As we walked in, the Doctor was standing at the control panel, tapping away at it. He then quickly glanced back and noticed we were standing there.
"Ah! Alright. Are you ready Sam?" He asked me. I gave him a confused look.
"Forgive me, but ready for what exactly?" I said, answering his question with a question. He turned all the way around this time and looked at me with a huge grin.
"Well to test out your pony body." As he said this, I realized that there was a big curtain surrounding the spot where the vat of flesh used to be. I started to get excited as well.
"You betcha!" I responded, as eager as ever. I walked over to the curtain and started to pull it away.
"Ah! No!" The Doctor shouted. He pointed over to the round table from earlier. "You're going to experience it first hand." He added and then started guiding me over to the platform. He motioned for me to get up on it. I did as he wished and laid back against the upright table. The Doctor then started to strap me in and tell me what was going to happen.
"Now you shouldn't feel any pain, just a sort of numbness. That's because your senses are being stimulated until the wireless hook up to your pony body is complete. Then, you should pass out and wake up a few seconds later in your pony body. Now trust me, walking on four legs takes a moment to get used to, so when you first get up, just take it slow." He said as he secured the last strap.
I started to feel nervous. All of the restraints seemed almost like I was on some sort of torture device. But it was too late to back down. The Doctor had already gotten back over to the control panel.
"Alright, on the count of three!" He shouted to me from across the room.
I nodded my head, letting him know I was ready.
"One!" He yelled.
I closed my eyes. This was it. The moment when I get to live the dream.
"Two!"
When I get to become my OC and do the unthinkable.
"Three!"
When I get to go... to Equestria!
There was a loud whirring and then, nothing. Everything was dark. I couldn't feel anything, I couldn't hear anything. There was justnothing. I tried to open my eyes, but it felt like I was drained of all my energy, so I just laid there. I strained to gather any information of my surroundings. Again, I found nothing. But then, I felt something. Like a gentle beat on my cheek. Then I started to hear a noise.
"S-"
"Wha-?" I managed to barely whisper out.
"S-m."
"Who is that?" I asked, now with more force.
"Sam!"
"Ah!" I yelled as I shot up to a sitting position.
I looked around. I was inside some kind of tub with Pinkie Pie to my left and the Doctor on my right.
"Woah, this is one killer headache." I said as I raised a hand to my head. There was only one problem though. I didn't have hands. I had hooves. At first, I started to panic, but then the Doctor started to talk.
"Relax. It's okay. You're in the TARDIS and you're in your pony body. Remember?"
I slowly looked at him and nodded my head.
"Mind-transfer memory loss. That's why you started panicking. But now you remember, everything's good. Don't worry, it's normal and it isn't permanent." The Doctor explained.
I breathed a sigh of relief. As my thoughts slowly returned, my panic was quickly replaced with excitement. I scanned the room.
"Where's a mirror? I want to see what I look like!" I exclaimed.
Pinkie was already prepared and wheeled over a full-body mirror. I looked into it and then at the pony staring back at me. I looked just like my OC! It was amazing. I looked at the Doctor and then at Pinkie Pie. I reached out and pulled them in for a hug, forcing both of them to awkwardly lean towards me.
"Oh! I can't thank you guys enough!" I shouted.
The Doctor mumbled something, muffled by my new, dark red coat of fur.
"What?" I asked. He then started rapidly tapping me with his hand and pointing to his head.
"Oh, sorry." I said and I let go. The Doctor pulled away and took a few breaths. After he steadied himself, he spoke.
"Not a problem. Just, please don't do that again." I looked down to hide my embarrassment.
"Well still, this is amazing. What can I do to repay you guys?" I asked.
"Just stay out of trouble, okay? I don't want to have to come save you while I'm with the Ponds. It's our annual reunion." The Doctor said.
This surprised me. Last time I knew, Amy and Rory Pond were sent back in time by a weeping angel and the time period they were stuck in was corrupted, so the Doctor couldn't go save them.
"How can you do that? Aren't they trapped after the weeping angel incident?" I asked. The Doctor just smiled.
"I have my ways." He said deviously. I snickered and then realized something. Pinkie Pie was still leaning into me, even after I let go of her. The Doctor and I just stared at her in silence. She realized no one was talking and looked up.
"Um..." was all she could say. "I can explain." She quickly added, trying to come up with an excuse.
"Wait. Don't make this any more weird by trying to cover for yourself. Just pretend it didn't happen." I said, trying to not make the situation more awkward. She nodded and smiled, glad that she didn't have to explain herself. I just let it pass because it was Pinkie Pie, and Pinkie Pie does what Pinkie Pie does.
"There's just one thing we need to go over before you head off into the world of Equestria." The Doctor said. I looked at him, waiting for him to tell me. He just sat there in silence, looking off into space. I cleared my throat to get his attention.
"Oh, sorry. Just... thinking." He said, looking back at me. "What were we talking about?" He asked. I sighed.
"Something that we need to go over before I go to Equestria." I answered, reminding him.
"Ah yes! Unicorn magic!" He exclaimed.
I instantly felt excited. This was the thing I was the most eager to try. Being able to cast spells and move things without actually touching them. Who wouldn't want to do that?
"Alright! Let's do it!" I shouted, but the Doctor quickly regained my attention.
"Now listen, unicorn magic is difficult to use. It takes time and practice to do. So don't get discouraged if you don't get it immediately." He warned me. I nodded and calmed myself, doing my best to act professional. The Doctor reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an apple.
"Now the levitation spell is the easiest and most useful of spells. So to start your basic training, I want you to lift this apple with you magic." He explained. I looked at him confused.
"Now how am I supposed to do that?" I asked him.
"Every spell requires you to do something different for it to work. For the levitation spell to work, all you need to do is concentrate and imagine this apple floating. Your unicorn magic will naturally fill in the blank and make it happen in reality." The Doctor explained.
I nodded and took "aim". I looked at the apple that the Doctor was holding in the palm of his hand. I focused on it rising out of his hand and stared at the red fruit. After about 15 seconds of nothing happening, I let out a sigh of air from holding my breath, as if that would've help.
"No, you can't focus on it rising out if rising out of my hand. You need to imagine it rising out of my hand." He explained. I nodded, slowed my breathing, and this time, closed my eyes. I pictured the Doctor's hand and the apple in it. Then in my imagination, the apple slowly started to rise out of his hand. Off in the distance I heard the tinkling noise of unicorn magic and a voice. As the apple slowly rose higher and higher, the voice became louder. Soon enough, I realized that the voice was the Doctor's.
"Sam!" My eyes shot open. Darn it! The apple was still in his hand.
"Um... Sam?" The Doctor said. "Could you please put me down?" I turned my focus off of the apple and realized that the Doctor was floating in the air.
"Am I doing this?" I asked him.
"Yes, so could you please put me down?" He asked, sounding a bit annoyed.
"Oops. Yeah, sorry." I said and imagined him floating back down to the ground. After this thought process, I heard a *THUD* followed by the Doctor moaning. I opened my eyes and saw him lying on the ground. I quickly ran over to him with Pinkie Pie right behind me.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" I asked him, feeling bad for basically dropping him from five feet in the air.
"Yeah, it's okay. It's not your fault. Your unicorn magic isn't developed enough to do things with detail. It just does what you want it to do in the easiest way possible." He said, not groaning now as much as he was.
"But since we got that out of the way, how about we land this puppy and get you going on Equestria?" He asked and then got up and took off down the hallway again. We followed him all the way back to the main control room of the TARDIS. Once there, he started flipping more switches and spinning a knob or two here and there.
After the show of lights and the Doctor running about, doing his thing, he came back in front of me and Pinkie Pie. With one elegant wave of his arm, he pressed a button on the dash board and the TARDIS's engines were heard again. Then a few seconds later, there was a *THUD*. We had landed.
The three of us headed for the door of the TARDIS, with me leading. I stopped in front of the exit and took a deep breath. My dream of visiting Equestria shall soon be accomplished. I reached out with my hoof and pushed the door open.
I stepped outside and looked around at my surroundings. It didn't look like I thought it would. It wasn't as colorful. Were we in the Everfree Forest or something? Then, there was a rustling in a bush near us. All of our attention was turned towards the source of the sound. We were ready to do battle with whatever was there.
After what seemed to be hours of waiting, the beast showed itself. It was a dog. The three of us let out a sigh of relief as the dog ran up to us. But there was something particular about it. It had no nose.
"Whoops! This is Barcelona!" The Doctor exclaimed as he turned around and made his way back onto the TARDIS. Pinkie and I followed him, laughing at the ridiculous dog we had just witnessed.
"Sorry about that." The Doctor said, apologizing for the inconvenience. "But seriously this time, next stop, Equestria!" He yelled and we were off, yet again.
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Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, or Doctor Who. Steam Funk is an OC made by me. I incorporated the main plot of The Idealist 33's story, Doctor Whooves?, into my story with full permission from the author.