Erik
Honestly, I am surprised. Utterly surprised. I am speechless about two things the most so far. At first, I thought, being surrounded by other people will give Erik a lot more headaches, and much more serious ones. I have to admit, I am trying to close others out of our personal spaces mostly, as I always pay for first class cabins on the train to avoid some unpleasant companion, but I am still surrounded by people if we have to walk on the streets or rent rooms for the night, but contrary to my usual way of handling crowds, I haven't had those nasty headaches yet in these past five days of the journey. The most I had was some grumpiness and bad mood, and some jealousy from time to time, especially when I heard others discussing half loudly how a beautiful young lady like Juti could marry such an ugly old man like me, of course it never helps to lift my spirits… but Juti can.
Even if I am in a bad mood she can cheer me up, and I tend to ignore other people's remarks better than when I was alone. I am sure it is because Juti always makes up excuses about why other people give me remarks. She mostly says they are jealous. Jealous of my talents, of our love, that they have bad relationships with their partner and they are jealous to see two people in love. She might be right in a way, most middle- aged French couples talk to each other in a manner it is painful to listen to for a long time. I don't mind some painful teasing, but these I hear are mostly insults. I would never openly insult Juti. Not even after twenty or thirty years of marriage. I am so happy to have her as a wife that I can't imagine to get tired of being married to her to the level of complete bitterness regarding our relationship, not ever. I had felt bitterness over everything so far in my life, but Juti starts to teach me to see the light in the shadows again. Once, I was much more optimistic, in my childhood and youth, but my life and constant hatred made me sarcastic and full of hatred towards mankind… but just as I imagined, once someone… just one person starts to love me and I will be capable of love, I will be a better person… I hoped, secretly hoped but did not dare to believe it was possible. Yet it is.
Secondly, I thought such a long and tiring journey would suck out all my energy and I would handle travelling much worse, as I am old, much older than Juti, and I always feared she will always run forward and never wait for me to get in her heels. Sometimes I was afraid she will get lost in crowd, like a child you don't pay enough attention to, and so I tried to hold her hand firmly, but I realized it sometimes gave her pain, which made me feel sorry for her, so I learned to relax and just let her come beside me, or I gently held her arm. No tragedies happened, and she has much empathy not to make me run after her… even if I was more tired. But I am not. I feel like I am full of energy, just like in my youth, just as I was in my mid-twenties when I was travelling through Persia and all Europe… I imagined all my joints will be in pain, just as they were in Paris sometimes, and that I won't be able to keep up her tempo, but it is rather I walk too fast compared to her sometimes. How is that possible?
Maybe having a much younger wife makes you younger? I so enjoy to teach her things, to show her the landscape, to tell her stories and interesting facts not linked to my earlier life and she so loves to listen to me… and I catch myself playing silly games with her, thumb wars, clapping with her to silly little rhymes on the train, and I usually act like a boy, mostly. I noticed to have a childish and immature side even in my older Parisian days, and it came out usually when I used sarcasm against the Daroga, but nowadays I have to realize my childish side is present more so than I'd have imagined and it is not only about insulting people. On the contrary. I don't feel like insulting… most of the people nowadays, not when I have Juti's charming smile to look at.
She is such a sweet girl, always keeping me entertained and loving on me, and she started reading me a book out loud, it is called "The Hobbit" by J.R.R Tolkien. I have to admit I like it much, especially because she is so excited about reading it to me. She reads it on her phone, cuddling to my side while we are in a room for the night. This is our little intimate activity before going to sleep every day. We are almost at the end but her phone just lost all the power. She is a bit of sad about it… until she finds out I can help her problem. I plan to do it as a surprise for her… she needs to realize this century is much more livable and less obscurantist than she'd think.
One thing I don't understand: why Juti hates the new mask so much? She is a little trickster, she keeps hiding it when I am asleep so I have to spend long minutes to search for it in the morning and there was a time we were late for a train for the reason I wasn't able to find it (even though the places she comes up with hiding it at are quite laughably simple, she had made extra efforts that morning which, I need to admit, outsmarted my logic for once…). I can't understand why she wants to see an ugly skull face with a transparent fake nose more than a handsome mask which makes me look like everybody else. Why must she make people stare at me…? Does she want to make me immune to strange glances? I doubt it will ever happen, but she is quite persistent in making me accept my features. She says remarks won't hurt so much if I love myself. I think she has some truth in what she says, but I believe we would need to make up some compromises in this aspect.
Other than that, I have nothing to complain about, for once in my life. Everyday problems, and annoying little things don't affect my mood so easily and heavily than they did before. Every little happening which was out of my daily routine used to give me discomfort and sometimes… (mostly) fits of rage, but now I don't even seem to give a damn about some minor mishaps.
Is it possible to get cured of two and a half decades long depression in one years' time?
Juti's POV:
It was a long day again, we were travelling all day and when we arrived to the inn, I was just happy to get in our room. I wanted to do nothing, just relax beside Erik, but he looked to be very excited about something and he, contrary to his usual way of acting, could not stay in one place. I also found it strange how he bought half a dozen of lemons at a local market before we were heading to the inn we were staying at. Lemons. Nothing else. As we arrived to our room, he excitedly unpacked them on the end table next to the bed and I rolled my eyes in total cluelessness.
- What are we planning to do? – I asked, hoping he will explain it, but he was merely smiling. – Are you so thirsty? – I went on.
- No. – He shook his head. – We are not having lemonade if this is what you are asking.
- Then?
- Surprise. – He kept smiling.
I shrugged, examining his mad scientist behavior. It amused me to see he was inserting nails and screws into a lemon.
- Now it is screwed. – I stated in English, which made him chuckle.
- It is, by the means you can no longer eat it. But once you find out what I want, you will be happy, and thankful you have your little husband with you.
- Are you making an instrument? – I scratched my head.
- No. – He laughed out. – It is not about music, but science.
I sat down on the bed to examine what he was doing, and when he caught my phone, suddenly I remembered back to a video I saw on Youtube a few years back, in which a lemon was used to charge a cell phone.
- It wasn't hoax?! – I gasped. – It… it was real?
- Lemon batteries are indeed real, my dear. – He smiled, showing the screen which showed the icon that my phone really started charging.
- Oh, Erik, you are a God-gifted genius and I love you! – I jumped in his arms, and kissed him on the cheeks numerous times.
- Oh ho, Erik did not expect such an emotional outburst for a lemon battery, but he is happy to know he caused such a bliss to his little wife. – He kissed my forehead with a smile.
- I did not know it was already a thing… - I looked at him in awe.
- It is already a thing in the past 100 years, my love, experiments are using lemon juice and salt water to create electricity since 1800.
- Did you not invent it? – I pointed at the lemons.
- Not everything is invented by Erik, my dear, he is only using others inventions many times, or working to make them better.
- Maybe you think me silly now. – I blushed, being a bit of ashamed of not knowing such a thing. I sometimes felt so uneducated compared to Erik, no matter how much I loved to read in general, I was never good or interested at scientific subjects at all, and I always felt ashamed of my extremely limited knowledge of that field, especially me, the child of the future, and now it comes out Erik and his contemporary people know a lot more of a thing "of the future" I just kept using without knowing it at all.
- Don't be ashamed of things you may not know. – Erik stroke my hair. – The matter is just walk with your eyes open and do your best to learn something new every day. Accept new things, and learn from old masters. That way you can't go wrong.
- I used to think earlier centuries were much less developed than… mine.
- All young people think the elders know nothing modern because the young improve old inventions. Yet they don't realize the thing they "invent" was already existing.
He laughed out and kissed me again. I was so happy and felt Erik was always able to explain me everything the way I could understand and relate to it.
Though I had to face there were things in which we still did not agree. It wouldn't be a problem in itself, as there are always things even a couple disagrees in, but there were a bit too much of them in our relationship, and they were a bit too crucial subjects: working, children, and Erik's masks.
Regarding the "working" part I mean he was trying to save e from literally everything. I got used to him being a total gentleman and not letting me carry any heavy things, and I could agree with that part as well, because he was mostly considering my health issues with my eyes. Good. But the fact he was considering to hire a maid once we returned to Paris did bother me a lot.
- Why do you want to hire a maid? – I frowned after he announced it to me during relaxing in the evening in bed.
- Because it is a big house with lots of work, and I don't feel like doing housework any longer. I was a bachelor for at least 30 years, I have enough of laundry and cleaning the toilet.
- And what I am for then?
- Do you think I would let you do such things?
- Why? The gold ring won't slip off of my finger if I clean, I like to clean.
- Wives of higher than a certain social rank will never do housework. You should know it by at least your books of this time period.
- But I am not a baroness. You told me we were no aristocrats.
- Upper middle class. – He informed shortly. – And you may believe me that no wife of a doctor, lawyer or an architect would hand wash her husband's shirts. All of them have maids to do it for them. And I am an architect, technically, or a businessman. Choose which one you like. You are the wife of an upper middle class man, and you ought to act like your rank indicates it and not clean the floors of your apartment on your hands and knees like a Cinderella.
- And do you honestly like the thought that a stranger girl is going to wash your undergarments? – I frowned. – I'd hate if someone I don't know touched my intimate objects.
- It is common here. – He shrugged. – I don't see the problem. I am not going to interact with her, her opinion and thoughts matter nothing to me.
- If you don't like housework, why did you not hire someone earlier?
- Under the Opera? – He pointed at me sarcastically. – That would have been a nice scenario.
- No, I mean before.
- I had servants in Persia. It was a much welcome change that I was saved from the activities I always disliked to do.
- But if I am not even allowed to take care of you and act like a wife, then what is my use at all?
- Erik can easily take care of himself. I have already told you I did not search for a maid. I married you because I love you. And it is a bit of pitiful if a woman can only imagine housework of her main use. You are clearly not made for standing by the stove all day.
- But then what should I do?
- The things you were doing up until this point as well. – He pointed out. – Play the piano. Compose. Learn languages. Read. Enjoy life.
- You might be right. But do you promise you will let me become a mother once?
- Yes, we adopt a child once. – He nodded gracefully. – I promised.
- Great. – I grinned. – You will teach him to everything.
- Yes, and when he turns old enough I send him to a boarding school far from Paris and he is only coming home in school holidays.
- Erik! – I gasped, hoping he was only kidding. I had to realize he wasn't.
- It is a common practice. – He shrugged.
- I am not adopting a child just to send him away and make him spend half of the year away from us.
- He is going to spend the other half of the year with us, isn't it enough?
- We are going to discuss it further once we adopted him. – I sighed, seeing he won't listen this time. – But… now it comes to mind, if we hire a maid it means you… you have to wear a mask at home as well?
- For the time she comes, yes.
- Damn!
- Language.
- I hate your mask.
- Why? – He asked desperately. – Why do you hate it so much, reason it a t least!
- It looks nothing like you!
- It is the POINT of it.
- I know but I feel like I am walking with a total stranger unless you speak.
- Juti. Please. That girl is only coming once a week. One day of seven. You can bear that, can't you?
- If I must… - I sighed.
- What if I make another mask? – He offered in a placatory gesture.
- I don't know. – I admitted. – If it looks more like you…
- It should not look like me, but… well, we will find something out. – He kissed my forehead. – Is Erik's little wife still angry at Erik?
- I wasn't even angry, but… in some things we disagree too sharply.
- I guess… if we have a maid that comes just once a week, it is not bothering Juti, does it?
- No. – I smiled. – You know… I am actually happy I don't have to clean windows. – I chuckled. – I am afraid of climbing on a ladder.
- I know. – He kissed my neck playfully. – And Erik doesn't want your delicate little pianist hands, so white, so fragile, to bathe in dirty water and get dry of the chemicals. They don't deserve such a rough treatment, my lady. – He picked up my hand and examined it with such a loving glance I could nearly cry of being so touched. He gently kissed my hand, then looked up at me with love.
- And does it mean you hire a cook too? – I asked.
- No. – He shook his head. – I like to cook for you and myself, it is not a big deal.
- We are a strange couple. – I admitted with a short laugh.
- True, but I like it as it is. – He lay down comfortably with a yawn.
- Me too. – I smiled and snuggled up against him to sleep. I was happy we weren't fighting this time. Even if we disagree, we can make up compromises.
In the middle of the night I suddenly felt I was tossed away and Erik jumped up from the bed, and in the next moment I felt his bony hand gripping and shaking my shoulder in hurry.
- Juti… Juti, wake up!
- Whaaaa… what happened? – I yawned, blinking sleepily. He never woke me up so vehemently at night.
- The mask! – He sat me up in excitement and turned me to face him.
- What mask…? – I really needed some time to realize what he was talking about.
- Listen dear, Erik found out the solution. You once showed me a picture of a man wearing only a mask on one side of his face.
- Yes. – I nodded.
- And you said it was Erik.
- Yes, the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, you know. But you want to wear a half mask?
- Of course not. It isn't helping too much, is it? – He shook his head. – No. But you said the other side of his face was Erik's real face, was it?
- Yes.
- Do you associate that voice with the character of Erik?
- If I have to picture you with a… normal face than yes. – I nodded.
- Great. – He kissed my forehead and helped me back on my pillow then lay back beside me. – I found the solution, I think.
I smiled as I lay my head back down on Erik's chest and he hugged me close to himself. Maybe that new mask won't be so alien…?