Bella's POV.

7 months later

We were sitting alone together. I had to make something for myself before I starved to death. I went into the kitchen and started getting ingredients and washed some knifes carefully.. Jasper rushed to my side and kissed my shoulder. Smiling at me he wrapped his arms around my waist and settled his head on my shoulder. " How can you stand eating that garbage? He pointed to the raw chicken.

" Humans have to eat too." I laughed. I poured a small ounce of hand sanitizer on my hands before cleaning any other knifes and cooking.. The scent was strong from the bottle. " This smells really good."

" Can't you get high from smelling stuff like that?" He smelled the bottle and put it away from his face quickly. " It smells rather ghastly if you ask me." He said, squinting his brows.

" It's addicting though. It feels like I'm addicted to a lot of things lately." He looked at me confused.

" Like?" He asked still holding me.

" Well, Drugs, you." I smiled and kissed his cheek.

" Me?" He asked kissing softly.

" You're the only drug that keeps me satisfied... I don't need any other." I kissed more passionately forgetting what I was doing still cleaning the same knife I had in my hand for five minutes and cut finger. " Ouch." I cried and wrapped the small cut in a towel. I put the knife back in the sink and saw Jasper's fists tighten. " Jazz, go." I demanded. I hated when I tortured him like this.. of course it wasn't on purpose. Jazz slowly walked away. I could tell he was trying not to breath through his nose. I wrapped a band-aide around my finger and cleaned up the mess along with it. Jazz went back to my side hours later, while I was waiting for dinner to cook. He kept his distance though, afraid to hurt me. " Come here." I said quietly and hugged him tight. " You're alright." I whispered.

" Why can't I be normal?" Jazz asked rubbing his head gently against mine.

" If you were normal, you wouldn't be here now." I said quietly. " Now stop being rough on yourself."

" Bella, you know when you had that reaction, the craving to those vile medication pills... where it's almost like... if you don't get it... you feel the urge to do everything in your power to get it? Like you can't get enough of it?" He asked.

"Yes..." I said not sure where he was going with this.

" Bella, that's how I feel towards you..... you're scent... I can't get enough of it... and I'm afraid that I'll lose control one day... I'm not as strong as the others in my family.. and you know that." He kissed the side of my head. " If I lose you,that might be the death of me. I love you." That was the first time he ever said that to me.

" I love you too." I kissed his cheek and took out the chicken. It was small. Just enough to fill me up. I carved a small piece and began to eat. Sitting at the table alone tonight as he walked out of the house and into the forest.

the next day

I stepped slowly into the woods. Hearing the rush of the wind jingle the leaves together. I needed to see the meadow... Once more.. It may've hurt, but I was willing to take it, to remember the good memories again, which I was having trouble figuring out. The meadow was covered in dew right considering it was morning. I laid on the soft ground and then began to have a flash back.

"I'd rather die than stay away from you, Edward." I stayed close to him, almost what it seemed like lingering. He kissed my head and held me to him. He smiled.

The memories, they finally come back to me. The meadow, the ballet studio. Everything. They were all gone. " Edward." I whispered sadly. " What happened to us?"

" He thought he was doing something right by leaving you and getting with someone else, when the truth is he was wrong... but maybe it was for the better." This voice was recognizable. I turned around to see the honey blonde vampire standing inches away from me.

" Jazz." I smiled and hugged him.

" Hello, my Angel." He replied and hugged firmly. " What are you doing out here all alone?" He asked confused, looking behind my shoulder to see if anyone else was with me.

" I was coming out here to think, since I'm not at my other place." I confirmed.

" Smart.. It's pretty quiet out here." He admitted. I nodded in agreement.

" Henceforth why I came out here." I laughed a little and watched as he grabbed my face gently in his hands and kissed my lips gently, as if saying goodbye, then all of sudden he let go. Then I decided to try also, but realized he was not stopping because of how I would react, but because he had less control.

" I have to go." He said roughly. " I'll be back I promise.... I just can't afford to hurt you. or worse." He looked down. I kissed him quickly once more, and notice he began to have a firm grip on me, and kissed back, but it was more rough. His lips traced over my neck, causing me to shiver. His teeth were barely touching. My breathing began to race faster and faster.

" Jazz... look at me." I demanded, but he wasn't listening. He ignored and his warm breath hit my collar bone. " Jasper!" I yelled firmly. I tried to struggle free but he wouldn't let go.. when I saw a glimpse of his eyes, they were a flash of black. He was in hunting mode. " Jasper Whitlock Hale stop! Think about what you're doing!" I still tried to struggle. " Someone help me!" I cried knowing my life would end as soon as he bit in. " Jazz please!" I begged again. " Listen to my voice. You don't want to do this." He still was gliding his teeth, contemplating.

" Jazz stop!" Edward, and Emmett cried. Rushing to my side pulling him off. He shook his head and looked at my horrified face.

" Bella.... I'm... .sorry. I really am." His eyes were apologetic and beautiful. Mesmerizing. I couldn't speak though. Tell him I was fine. Emmett released Jazz, and Jasper ran off.

" Jasper no!" I cried out sadly. I tried to follow after him, but they held me back.

" Let him go." Emmett said quietly.

" He needs to know it wasn't his fault.

" Bella." Edward whispered looking away. " He needs to be alone." He grabbed my shoulder.

" Do NOT touch me." I shrugged off his hand. and walked to the cliff I jumped off once before. " Jazz, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault." I whispered crying.. It had been hours from the almost incident and he hadn't come back.

" It's not your fault." A small whisper spoke out. I looked past my shoulder and saw him, standing from a distance not wanting to be near.

" Yes, it is. I knew why you stopped and for some reason I couldn't help myself." I moved slowly over to him, and saw him back away. " Jasper please." I begged soft and gentle.

" Bella, your blood is tempting me. I thought... I thought I could change some of the old habits, but I can't. I have to go somewhere for a while.. Think of it as a rehab for vampires... Except different. I just need to get my thoughts straight." He spoke firmly and kissed me goodbye.

" No Jazz... stay for me... please." I lingered for him.

" Bella, I'll be back.. I just can't promise when." He smiled slightly torment and traced the lines of my jaw. " Goodbye." He whispered and left. I sat on the ground and cried silently to myself.

" Goodbye." I whispered.

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