AN: I own nothing please read to the end.
When Garrett shows up on their plane to take back Ian Quinn Ward's stomach drops. It's not that he and Jemma are affectionate during their work but they've definitely stopped hiding and he can't very well tell Jemma his SO is a sadistic jealous fucker who will use her against without telling her why he'd do so.
He can't stop Jemma from being herself but in this instance if it'd keep their relationship safe he would if he could.
He keeps his distance from her and it easy enough she's tending to Skye who's fighting to stay alive.
He scuffles with Triplett and keeps Garrett entertained. Every now and then he sweeps by the lab and watches Fitz and Simmons work pouring over files and talking over one another.
Jemma works and guards over Skye like a pit bull mother hen hybrid. It doesn't surprise him but still it's cute.
He thinks they have flown under the radar and their relationship will go unnoticed but Jemma blows those chances clean out of the proverbial water.
"Grant! Agent Coulson! May! I found it we- Fitz and I we found the place we believe-"She skids to a halt mid excited shouting bout and stares at Grant. "What happened to your face love? Who did this?" she eyes the scrape along his temple. "Sit! You need tending too." She shoves him into his seat with ease because well he let her.
"It's just a pissing match Jem. Trip barely caught me. Now what did you find?" He redirected her easily enough but Garrett caught the "love" tacked on to the end of Jemma's concerns. Grant can practically feel Garrett's gears turning, possibly grinding to a halt.
"Oh yes, sorry. We found a collapsed SHIELD bunker we believe was used to do Coulson's medical procedures we found a digital map in some of the cube's redacted files. Fitz had a contact in the Triskellion. In short we found hope for Skye." She grins brightly then turns toward him with her "long suffering yet patient girlfriend." Tone. "Now Agent Ward if you will so kindly follow me to the med bay I will treat that cut."
"It's a scratch!" he justifies.
"Yes, Well you're the one who seems determined to require my med tech skills on the daily. I'll be the judge of what is and what a scratch isn't until you get your very own Med Tech Certification. Is that amenable to you Grant?" he tone is more clipped now. He needs to tread lighter.
He doesn't reply he just follows her orders.
-/-/-/-
He can feel Garrett watching them but it's too far gone to matter now. When he is with Jemma he's not an agent of anything. He's just Grant. He knows it shows too. He's a good liar and he should lie his ass off now but Jemma's the one thing he can't lie about. The love runs too deep to be hidden by any deception or deflection. His eyes flutter closed as she swabs his temple with an antiseptic gel.
"I really do wish you would think before punching. You're far too attractive for these abrasions." She said fretfully.
"I won said pissing match so it's worth it." He joked grinning up at her. He tried to charm the wrinkles from her brow but it doesn't work. She just sighed.
"Barbaric Sado-masochistic." Her wordy insult is half assed at best.
"I don't have a wordy come back how's Skye?"
He knows she's going to yammer. She's stressed. He lets it slide for a bit. "Hanging on, I don't even understand half of what's in that file and anything even close to helpful is a mystery drug I've never even heard of. For it to have the properties to replicate and regenerate cells as it did for Coulson's heart it has to be similar to stem cells but stem cell can't be produced synthetically merely harvested!"
"Jem Baby, you're doing the spinning talk thing I don't understand just tell me what you need me to find and I will find it." He said gentle as applied derma bond to his cut.
"The GH-325. I need that if they're no doctors I need the drug at least… Just tell Fitzy to stay away from the dodgy looking stuff okay? He doesn't always read before grabbing and-"He glances out the door Trip has Garrett distracted bless his pompous heart. He lands a quick kiss on Jemma's mouth and seeing as she's finished her patching and hen pecking he gets up to join the others.
"I'll read before I get grabby. Scouts honor Babe." And he leaves before she can pepper him with more demands or scientific jargon.
-/-/-/-
He watches Grant with his little chippie as she trails behind him. She's talking to him a mile a minute even as Grant is gearing up to go. He can tell the boy is listening to her even if it's only with half an ear. She turns to the Scottish engineer and talks at him a bit.
The slow smile that creeps across Grant's face is hard to miss and is entirely genuine. "We got it Jem; only grab what looks semi- safe." Grant soothes her ruffled feathers. He puts a comforting hand between her shoulders for half a beat. His hands don't linger because He knows he's being watched. His eyes however cling to her.
He always knew Ward was a gentle touch with more tender heart than he'd ever admit. John knew Grant was most likely of all his recruits to fall in love. Maybe they can use her. Girl has brains to spare even more than Flowers.
It's not like the girl isn't nice to look at in a porcelain doll prim and proper British sort of way. She's not Garrett's speed but she's pretty so whatever blows Ward's skirt up is fine as long as it benefits John himself or Hydra.
And if it doesn't well bye, bye, English Sweet Pea.
This time he'll make the boy man up and cross off his weakness for himself too.
-/-/-/-
With Skye healed and Hydra revealed Grant knows he may have very little time with Jemma but still he boards the flight with Garrett to the Fridge. If the fact that he kisses her goodbye for real right there in front God and everybody alerts her to something being well and truly amiss he doesn't see it or sense it.
She simply says "Call if you need me. I'll be seeing you love." She gives him a soft halfhearted smile like she must sense his pain. It makes him feel like what he is a dirty liar.
"I'm gonna be fine Jem. See you." He wraps her in a hug. He taps out the Morse code of "I love you" against her spine in a secret way of knowing he said it if only for himself and of course she picks up on it. "And I love you." She replied quietly. She pressed a quick kiss into his neck and let him go.
-/-/-
When she calls him frantic because Skye had taken her badge and erased their identities at Coulson's behest he forgets that Garrett is right behind him sitting his stupid ass barber chair listening. He's too intent on calming her down before she strokes out.
"Jem- Jemma Je- Baby you're not a terrorist. Listen to me. I know, Jemma honey no matter what was or wasn't erased you still earned everything you're still the smartest girl I've ever met. Those PhD's are just paper. I'll get you a new badge babe. I know you liked that one." He laughs a little he can't help she is beside herself and it is oddly endearing much like everything else about Jemma.
"Ugh no whatever I'll be it's not gonna be Tom Brady you know I hate that bobble headed fucker. I know it makes me sound like a tosser I don't care. Teacher might not be bad true… I'd get shot less. I know not playing doctor would sadden you though. Alright be safe, I'm almost done we're taking the long way love you Bye." He hangs up with a smile on his face.
Garrett takes it upon himself to dampen his good mood and erase said smile. "You should end that before things get messy. I mean I get that she's pretty in a delicate sort of way and the heart wants what it wants right but eventually you're going to have to think with your brain and not your libido. You won't be able to turn her and what isn't useful to Hydra is just a weakness."
"How about you stay out of it. I'll handle things with Simmons my way." He said tightly.
"Oh now it's Simmons?" Five seconds ago she was Jemma." Garrett jabs at him.
He just sighed and walked away before he said too much.
"So something in the mission was real huh? Her." A voice comes from behind him.
"My girlfriend is even less your business than Garrett's Raina." He just keeps walking. He has no idea where the fuck he's going
-/-/-
After trudging through the Canadian snow he finds Providence base and is greeted by Skye and Jemma. Jemma runs up and jumps into his arms for a hug. "When we heard the Fridge fell I couldn't breathe." She said the words muffled in his parka.
"Neither can I Jem… I broke a rib or two." He replies and tries not sound strained.
"Oh how completely stupid of me…" She slides her body down his landing gently on the ground. He forgot how much he missed the sensation of her body on his. Even it was just a few days. "I'm sorry Darling; I think your cheek bone is broken. I kill him from breaking your lovely cheek bones. I'll examine and clean you up. Skye take his pack." He smiles at her fierce expression.
"Anyone ever tell you that you're bossy Simmons?" Skye muttered hefting his pack.
"Rubbish Skye I just know what needs doing." Jemma retorted airily.
Grant laughs he can't help it he will miss this. "I love you Jem. Always."
"I know that." She replied firm in the knowledge of at least that truth. It made him feel marginally better.
"Good."
-/-/-/-
He watches her as she works. He watches her hands and the competency of movements as she sets out her kits and supplies. The way her eyes narrow as she inspects the X-ray of his face.
"Bollocks it's only a hairline not much I do. Does it hurt quite a lot?" She asked chewing lip yet again. He loved that.
"Nope."
"I'll stitch you up and wrap those ribs. The cut might leave a scar but it'll add some ruggedness to your face."
"You'd like me rugged?" He brushes her falling bangs away from her face tucking them behind her ear.
"I'd like you in any form." She grins and "I love you." He thinks but stays quiet.
He tries to memorize the feel of her hands on him. Confident yet gentle. He tries to take in every tiny expression on her face as she focuses on fixing him. He breathes in the scent of her shampoo as her head is bowed to carefully wrap his ribs.
He kissed the crown of her head. "No matter what happens, you have always seen the true me Jem. Thank you for trusting the pieces of me that I could give you."
"Grant…" She replied and when she looks into his eyes he sees the worry. For half a second he considers telling her the truth. Lying has always come easier and he wants her to remember the realness of what they had when it's over. Because once it's out it will be over all of it.
"Sorry baby Garrett being Hydra has just made me think things over. I get maudlin." He said and he can tell she doesn't exactly buy it.
He pulled her into the gap of his thighs and leaned forward to kiss her. "Grant you'll be late to debrief." She says even as she's kissing back.
"Coulson can wait…" He said against her lips before kissing her again and pulling her on to the table with him.
"Someone could walk in."
"They'll walk back out." She giggles. "Besides we both know you like doing it on exam tables." He moved to kiss the soft expanse of her neck.
"If you ever-"she threatens as he is hiking up her skirt.
"Jem." He warns.
"Shutting up."
-/-/-
The thing about being with Jemma is he knows Jemma will be the one to figure out that he killed Koenig and took Skye against her will to unlock the drive. He just knows how her mind works. It's not something he likes her knowing but life is all about the choices you make and it's too late to turn back now.
-/-/-
He misses her. Really misses her, and not just the feel of her lying against him in the night. He missed the way her goodnight kiss always tasted of Carmex because the recycled plane air chapped her lips. The way she spoke faster and faster the angrier she got. He misses her so much and so often he thinks she's there with him when she's not actually there and he makes himself believe reality until he sees her ponytail fluttering in the wind a few yards away. He has to double check. He steals the binocs off a low level agent and sure enough she's on a phone.
It's possibly Coulson she's talking too but he doesn't really care. How hard up do you have to be to trust spying to Fitz and Jem? Fitz is rash and Jem is too damned honest for her own good.
He catches Fitz leaving for their car. "You're getting better with the stealth babe but your hair tipped me off." She makes a choked sound that steals away his own breath.
"Ward." She said and he can see anger and fear fighting to take over her gaze.
"I won't hurt you; you do have to come with me though. You know that right?"
Neither of them say anything just follow along behind him obediently. It's a little unnerving honestly.
He presents them to Garrett and the way he leers at Jemma makes Grant's guts twist. Grant searches them and Fitz sets off a little metal party buzzer it causes the electronics on the plane and the ones in Garrett to short out. "EMP and I'm not sorry." Fitz says and Grant wants to punch him out if only because He'd likely signed his own death warrant.
He sends them out to be sequestered in their lab ironically. If he can fix this he can undoubtedly get Fitzsimmons out of their bravely dug little hole.
He has to think of them as a unit now because if he thinks about Jemma it makes his heart pinch in a way that makes him think a heart attack is in his near future.
Every little trick he's learned to reset Garrett over the years has failed and when the older man looks at him with death in his eyes and asks him to cross off Fitz and Simmons his heart breaks into little pieces for the first time in years. "No, now is not the time I can fix this I just-"
"I'm dying and I want my murders crossed off." He paused. "It's not a weakness is it?" it was a dare as much as a command.
"I guess we'll find out." He muttered.
-/-/-
When they lock themselves in the med pod to get away from him she doesn't try to talk him down maybe she's done with him? Good for her maybe it will make what he is about to do easier on him. Doubtful. It's not every day you're ordered to kill the love of your life.
As he turns to the release controls she finally says something. "Grant don't do this! You are not the boy who had to fight for every bit of peace he had. You're not him anymore. You owe Garrett nothing. He did nothing but use you for a lap dog! I know you love me, you have said it too many times and in too many ways for it to be a lie. I know that I make you happy we can work thing out just think things out please Grant! You love me!" each and every word hits him like an anvil to the chest especially "You love me." Because God knows he does but if he doesn't do this Garrett will and it will be bloody and painful and he'll make Grant watch he's that twisted. With any luck, if small mercies still existed for either of them she'll be dead before she hits water.
"That's the problem Jemma. You're a weakness no one taught me to fight." He pulled the lever. Closed his eyes and tried and failed to block out the sound of her screaming his name before she fell. It's likely God ran out of mercy to waste on Grant Ward.
This time he doesn't catch her. He can't begin to try.
-/-/-/-
He's been in Coulson's make shift prison for a couple months at least. He does what he needs to survive because giving in and trying to die is just boring. He feels nothing at all. Following that last order stole whatever remained of his soul.
The door opens and he's expecting Skye because they send her down to poke at him with questions he refuses to answer.
It's not Skye.
She's alive.
"Jemma." He inches as close to the line as he can without activating the pointless force field. "You're real." Her heels click on the concrete as she gets closer to him.
Her eyes fill with tears and she sinks to the floor. She's sobbing so hard for the first time in months he feels something. Guilt.
"Jemma Just breathe…" he coached squatting down to sit back on his heels next to her on the floor.
"Grant…" his name comes out on a sob that tears at the place in him that used feel human.
He still loves her. Weakness or not he loves her. "Take your time Babe."
AN: please don't hate me for making Ward Hydra again, I have a plan I promise keep reading. Part three coming soon to a wi-fi enabled device owned or operated by you. Thanks a ton for all the reviews, kudos, and reblogs! I loved all the support! Thanks so much!-MM