Choices and Chances:

This isn't goodbye (Spring 2014)

The snow had stopped falling, the ice on the ground had melted and life in New York was transitioning into the season of rebirth and growth. Birds chirped, lovers walked through the park hand in hand, flowers bloomed and even in the grime of a large city an air of hope for the new year swept through the population. Under the streets, in the abandoned subway tunnels and dark sewers lived a family of very unique individuals. The Lair warmed slightly, though the chill still caused most of the humans in their life to wear heavier clothes. Life was as normal as it could be for the mutant family, including Raph's complaints that Donnie and April were going to give him cavities with their sweet talk and cuddling.

'I wish that were my problem.' Leonardo Hamato lamented silently as he leaned against a door frame. The doorway he stood in belonged to Karai's room, which was occupied less often than it wasn't. The only daughter of Hamato Yoshi was a fiery spirit, she lived by her own code these days and may god help anyone stupid enough to try to change her mind when it was set. She frequently left the Lair for days, sending only a message to tell them not to worry with no information. When she was home she moved as freely about Leo's room as she did her own, not that he minded that. What he minded was how she was currently arranging a small back pack full of essential items.

"I don't understand why you feel the need to do this." Leo said in a flat tone, they'd been back and forth on the issue for days.

"You don't have to understand it, just respect that it's my choice." She returned without looking at him. He wanted to growl at the reply but restrained himself. She spoke again, still not looking at him as she considered some item in her hand. "I've discussed it with Father, he agrees with me that I should do this."

"But he isn't any happier about it than I am!" Leo exclaimed, standing straight and throwing his hands up in exasperation. "I get that you need to center yourself, I understand you feel the need to go on some sojourn to finally come to terms with everything. . . But Karai, why do you have to go to Japan to do that? Why not the farm house? Why not anywhere on the Eastern Seaboard?"

"Because it's home." She answered the question without missing a beat and watched the oldest turtle sag slightly. The kunoichi stepped away from the bag she'd been packing, slipping silently across the room to stand before him. "I need to do this where my childhood memories are. I need to make peace with the lies I was told and the ashes of my true ancestors. I need to finish this journey so I can move on, so I can feel as if I am comfortable in my own skin. I am putting Oroku Karai to rest, but I can't do that without facing the truth of my own past."

"You don't owe me an explanation." He offered as he finally brought his blue eyes back up to her own. "I don't want you to feel you do, but I wish you would stay."

"I chose to give you an explanation, koi, because I wanted to." She smirked when Leo tensed slightly in shock at her affectionate term. She moved into him, feeling his arms instinctively wrap around her as she nuzzled his neck softly. They may not have been physical with each other for long, but they were not reserved when alone. She felt him shiver as kissed his neck, just under his jaw line, before speaking. "I don't know how long I'll be gone, but this isn't goodbye. I will be back, my samurai. Japan is where I was born, but my heart is here in New York."

"Aishiteru. I love you, please be safe." Leo whispered into her ear, holding her close, his voice tight with emotion. He felt his heart beat pick up, to spite the fact of what she'd just called him they had never spoken of love before that moment. He felt as if his heart, mind and soul were having an internal battle. His mind told him he should not have said that, reminding him that Karai was not some soft young woman to use or take such words lightly. His heart prayed that she felt the same, that she loved him and was not just fond of or amused by him. His soul, the very core of his being, felt that she returned his love.

"Leo, I'm about as good at saying I love you as I am at saying thank you." She whispered back, her tone filled with amusement at the personal joke.

"I think you just did." He replied, ignoring the that stung his eyes. This was not goodbye; she was coming back. This was only temporary, until she got her mind into the shape she wanted it in. He held her close, trying to memorize the feel of her in his arms to hang onto until she came back.

"Leonardo." Her voice was soft, unusually soft, and very quiet. She took a deep breath; she'd never tell him but she was taking in the scent of his skin. She wasn't doing this to escape him, or his brothers, or even really New York. This was about her, about fixing some things that were broken inside. She would have asked him to come, she would have taken him with her, but she needed to do this alone. "Aishiteru Samurai. Wait for me, I promise I'll come back."

Karai did not say goodbye to the other Hamato boys, she didn't even tell them she was leaving. She would return, so she pulled her emotional mask on and tugged Leo to the Livingroom. They went on a last patrol, and she watched her Samurai act as if nothing were out of the norm. When they returned she watched Raph and Mikey play a round on the xbox, listened to Donatello excitedly chatter about the Valentine's Day surprise he planned for April and leaned against Leo when no one was paying attention. She enjoyed those last hours with her family, and she didn't allow anything to taint that.

Mikey fell asleep infront of the TV, and though Raph complained he smiled as he picked up his youngest brother and carried him off. Donatello disappeared into his lab an hour or so later. Leo and Karai took some tea to Splinter, the three enjoying a last shared moment. At last Karai and Leo slipped off, Karai finally convincing the stubborn turtle to go to bed. She lay down with him, waiting until his breath even out, seemingly asleep, before she slipped away. No one bore witness to the fact that she paused at the door, looking back toward this home she'd never expected. She slipped off into the night, dressed in street clothes with only a single bag to keep her company.

In his room Leo opened his eyes, he could feel the moment she left the Lair. He stared at the ceiling, imagining his love's face. Leo did not sleep that night, instead he slowly slipped into a meditative state. The others were sure to notice. Karai disappeared frequently, but after a few days they would be screaming to search for their adopted sister. That would be the hardest part, because Leo already knew how each of his brothers would react. Donatello would fret for a time, but he'd eventually send her some good luck text hoping her phone was still on. Raphael would be upset that she hadn't said goodbye, slightly hurt that she'd not told him, and he would bury that with annoyance that she slipped off to another country. He would make it sound as if he envied her adventure, but it wouldn't fool anyone. Michelangelo would be the worst, he would be heart broken. He would cry, because though Mikey had matured some he was always kind hearted. Mikey would take weeks to recover once he found out.

Leo would content himself with watching over his brothers, as he always had. He wouldn't bottle things up, but he would not fall apart. Karai would come home, it would just take time.

Author's Note:

Well, I feel like I just kicked Leo in the shell. I am considering writing a story dedicated to Karai, focusing primarily from her own view point. Let me know, dear fellow authors, if you think I should. Reviews and Private Messages are always welcome.