Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight :( (But I rrrrrrreeeeeeeaaaaaaalllllllyyyyyyy wish I did!)

Sorry if this chapter sucks :( I didn't really know what to put in the book :o

EPOV

After several minutes of deliberating, I reached my decision. I hoped it was the right one.

"Sorry, Bella, I don't think I will. I'm not taking any risks," I finally said. Bella pouted and stared at me pleadingly. Then, Jasper entered the hallway by the front door, and went to comfort a frowning Alice.

"Puh-leeeeeeeaaasse, Edward? It would mean sooo much to me!" Bella begged with an adorably sad expression on her face.

"Well…"

"Oh, come on, Edward, don't be a scaredy-mountain lion," Jasper taunted, "I'll read it with you if you're afraid."

"Excuse me? I'm not scared of a book." I replied angrily.

"Prove it," Jasper said smugly.

"Fine!" I grumbled. "You're reading it with me though." Jasper just rolled his eyes, took the book from Bella, and dragged me into our living room. Jasper and I flopped down onto the couch and opened the book.

"Okay… Prologue: The Life of an Animal," Jasper announced.

"Jasper, you don't have to say it out loud. I know how to read," I sighed. Jasper just rolled his eyes. I ignored him and looked back at the book.

Prologue:

The Life of an Animal

The average animal leads a horrible life. They don't have any freedom! They're not allowed to go to the mall, they can't watch a movie, and they can't even eat at McDonalds!

I giggled – this book was pretty stupid so far.

"Shut up!" Jasper whispered. "I'm reading!"

Most humans do not take pity on animals. After all, have you ever brought an animal to McDonalds? No, you probably eat them there.

I snorted. This honestly was the craziest piece of junk I've ever read.

The reason why animals have such a horrible life is because there are too many humans in the world to mistreat them. That is why you should eat humans instead of animals. The End.

I looked at the book in confusion. "How is this the end? There's still, like, 100 pages left in here."

"I dunno," Jasper replied. He flipped to page 2.

Eat.

I flipped to page 3.

Humans.

Page 4

Not.

Page 5

Animals.

Page 6

Eat.

Page 7

Humans.

I shut the book in disgust. "I can't believe how much paper they wasted by just typing one word a page in this stupid book. They're such tree killers."

Jasper turned to me angrily. "And you, my brother, are such an animal killer. I'm so disgusted at you!"

"Excuse me?" I said in shock.

"I can't believe that this book hasn't changed you! Don't you feel sorry for that cutesy wittle bunny wabbit you killed yesterday? Have a heart, Edward!" Jasper ranted. "I think that we should kill those nasty humans who eat cows."

I gaped at him. I tried to read his mind to see if he was being serious or not

Eat. Humans. Not. Animals. Eat. Humans. Not. Animals. Eat…

What the heck? Okay, now my family was really creeping me out. I wondered whether evil aliens had kidnapped them and replaced them with robots in an attempt to make me go insane. Actually, you know, that is a very plausible theory…

Suddenly, I had a strange feeling in my throat… I felt thirsty… for human blood… Oh no! The book must be hypnotizing me! It must have hypnotized Carlisle, Bella, and Jasper too! What do I do?

"Are you going hunting with me?" Jasper asked. "Are you going to help me save the animal population?"

Oh crap.

Ooh... cliffie! Is the book an evil hypnotic device sent from the Volturi? Or are the Cullens just playing a prank on Edward? Keep guessing! (And keep reviewing!!!)

Also, check out my two other stories: Soul Mates and Where's My Happy Ending?