Chapter 4: Aunt Marie and Uncle Frank
After the Bakers leave and while Lorraine, Amy and Robert Jr. are asleep Vinny and Robert catch up with each other. "I can't believe it's been seven months since I last saw you." Vinny said. "It feels longer." Robert told him. "Your son has gotten big." Vinny said to Robert. "I know. He's going to be two in March." Robert told him. "That's it only two." Vinny said. "Yeah. He's big for his age." Robert explained. "Just like his old man." Vinny replied. Him and Robert laugh at that comment. "I mean you're 6'8". If I was you I would have Robert Jr. try out for the basketball team if he grows to be as tall as you." Vinny explained. "I don't want to push him into sports." Robert said. "If he does play basketball or any other sport hopefully football, give me a call and I'll hook you up with anything you need. If your son needs a sponsor for his team I'll do that. If he needs any equipment I'll come to Long Island and go to DiMiranda's with you and get him whatever he needs." Vinny explained. "Vinny you don't have to." Robert told him. "Hey after what you did for me. Consider it paying you back for all those speeding tickets you got me out of. I owe you bro, you got me out of jail after that bar fight I had." Vinny explained. "How many guys did you fight that night anyway three,four?" Robert asked him. "Three. I was doing good until they jumped me all at once." Vinny told him. "You were busted up pretty bad that night. A gash above your righteye, a leftblackeye , a busted lip and a bloody nose." Robert told him. "I remember. I couldn't see out of my right eye for three days." Vinny said with a laugh. They continue to talk.
It's the next day and Vinny is doing everything he can to make sure Lorraine and his Aunt Marie get along. "I'll cook and I'll say that you made it." Vinny told her. "You actually think my mom will believe that?" Robert asked him. "No but, it's worth a shot." Vinny told them. "Well, maybe she won't. Eight hours in the car with Frank she has to bored out of her mind and maybe she won't realize it." Amy told them trying to look on the bright side like she always did. "I don't know how you do it Robert." Vinny told him. "Do what?" Robert asked. "Be married to someone so cheery. I couldn't put up with that." Vinny told him. "I'm not cheery?" Lorraine asked. "Are we still married?" Vinny then asked. "Yeah." Lorraine replied. "Then you're not cheery." Vinny told her. "I'm pregnant!" Lorraine yelled. "You weren't pregnant when your family came to visit in July of last year." Vinny replied. The front door opens and Jake, Mike and Sarah walk in. "Don't you guys knock?" Vinny asked them. "What for?" Mike asked him. "That's what normal people do when they visit someone." Vinny told them. "Marie and Frank don't ring the door bell when they come to our house." Amy told him. "Are they normal?" Vinny asked her. "I see your point." Amy replied. "They aren't here yet?" Sarah asked. "Do you see an old man sitting in that chair with pants opened and do you see Lorraine arguing with an a kind old lady?" Vinny asked them. "Your aunt isn't kind." Lorraine replied. "She's the kindest person I know." Vinny told her. "Maybe she's kindto you and Raymond." Robert said. "I'm not kind?" Lorraine asked. "Not when you have that look on your face like you're going to kill someone." Vinny told her. "What look?" Lorraine then asked. "The look you get everytime you get when you see my aunt." Vinny replied. Just as he said that Aunt Marie walks into the door. "There it is." Vinny said. "Hello dears." Marie said as she walked into the kitchen. "Hi mom." Robert said as he went to hug her. Marie walks right by him and goes to hug Vinny. "I think Robert wanted a hug." Vinny told her as she had him a vice grip. "I see Robert everyday. I don't see you that often anymore." Marie told him. "That's because I live in Chicago now." Vinny replied. "What made you move here anyway?" Marie asked giving Lorraine a dirty look. "Hey Vinny where's your booze?" Frank asked as he walked in. "In the fridge Uncle Frank." Vinny told him. Frank gets a beer and walks over to Sarah. "Excuse me young man that's my seat." Frank told her. "I'm not a boy. I'm a girl." Sarah replied. "Well, then excuse me toots that's my chair." Frank then replied. "Sarah could you do me a favor and get up for my uncle?" Vinny asked. "What's in it for me?" Sarah asked him. "Twenty bucks." Vinny replied. "Deal." Sarah said getting up. Frank sits down and opens his pants. "Frank there are little children in the room!" Marie yelled. "Marie I had to put up with your nagging for eight hours in the car. I think I deserve to relax!" Frank yelled back. "They argue more then you two." Mike told Vinny. "Where do you think I get it from?" Vinny asked him. "What's up dude?" Jake asked Frank. "Nothing much hippy boy." Frank replied. "Dude I'm not a hippy. I'm a skateboarder." Jake told him. "What the hell is that?" Frank asked him. "I ride skateboards." Jake told him. "Again what the hell is a skateboard?" Frank asked again. "It's the long board with wheels on it Uncle Frank." Vinny told him. "You mean the idiot board?" Frank asked. "Yeah. That's it dad the idiot board." Robert replied sarcastically. "Why do you call it the idiot board?" Jake asked Frank. "Because only idiots ride those damn things." Frank responded. "I'm not an idiot." Jake told him. "Then why do ride one of them?" Frank asked him. "Because it's what I'm good at." Jake responded. "I thought hippies were good at smoking pot and surfing?" Frank asked him. "I'm not a hippy." Jake said yet again. "Frank hippies don't surf they would fall off their board from being high all the time." Marie told him. "I think you guys should leave. I'll call you guys when my cousin Ray gets here with his kids so you guys can meet them." Vinny told Jake, Sarah and Mike. Sarah hold out her hand to Vinny. "What?" Vinny asked her. "Where's my twenty bucks?" Sarah asked. "She got you there Vinny." Frank said laughing. Vinny gives Sarah twenty bucks and she leaves with Jake and Mike.