Ch 4
Scars of a Past Life
When Kaoru woke she was stretched comfortably on the couch a thick comforter tucked around her snugly. Working to free her arms she stretched out of habit hissing as moving her arms above her shoulders pulled her stitches sending sharp pain blossoming across her chest. Kaoru winced; she felt grimy, dirt and no doubt blood still clinging to her. Glancing over at the armchair where Kenshin sat, a book abandoned in his lap his warm honeyed eyes watching her. Quietly Kaoru's sleep laden voice asked,
"Do you think there's any way I could use your shower? I feel grimy."
Nodding Kenshin stood,
"Let me see what I can do." He said as he moved into the bathroom. Kaoru heard him moving about for a moment before he emerged lifting her easily off the couch. His movements were smooth as he eased her through the doorway mindful of her ankle. And settled her on a stool he had placed beside the tub.
When he didn't exit the room as she expected Kaoru glanced up at him, "What are you doing Kenshin?"
In a level voice he replied, "I'm going to help you with your hair."
For a moment Kaoru gapped at him before reining in her vicious temper she said in a smooth voice,
"I can manage it myself. Get out. " the menacing violence behind her calm words failed to affect the present company as she hoped.
Kenshin was patient as he replied, "Kaoru, are you in any position to be able to move your hands above your head much less scrub your hair. I will give you a hand with your hair and leave you in peace."
Kaoru glared at him for a moment but meeting his immovable gaze grudgingly admitted defeat. With a huff of frustration she looked away, missing the soft amusement in Kenshin's eyes. Feeling large hands tugging up the hem of her shirt she squeaked her hands flying to grab his hands, preventing him from lifting the shirt over her hips.
Blood rushed to her face as she yelped, "I can undress myself Kenshin!" twisting around she narrowed her eyes at him.
He was kneeling behind her a mischievous smirk on his face a white towel thrown over his shoulder. Reaching out Kaoru tugged the towel off his shoulder.
"Turn around and don't you dare peek or I swear you have to explain several very large lumps to Megumi."
Kenshin grinned rakishly, golden sparks danced in his amber eyes with mock solemnity he said,
"I promise to conform to your high standards. Fear not your virtue is safe with me."
Kaoru growled at him glaring until he turned on heel. Satisfied he wouldn't look Kaoru carefully stripped off her shirt wrapping the towel snugly under her arms. Irritated she pushed her already loosened black hair over her shoulder before mumbling,
"I'm decent." Pointedly ignoring Kenshin's sharp gaze as it swept over her petite form unable to help the fierce blush that stained her cheeks.
Kneeling Kenshin adjusted the water, pulling down the shower head he grabbed a bottle of shampoo and turning his gaze to watch Kaoru. With a disgruntled sigh Kaoru readjusted her grip on the towel and bent at the waist leaning over the edge of the tub her hair slipping forward to cover her face.
Kaoru felt herself relax as warm water soaked into her hair. Kenshin's strong hands gently massaged the shampoo into her scalp and she closed her eyes enjoying the feel of his gentle hands running though her onyx hair.
Kenshin smiled tenderly as Kaoru's small for relaxed under his carful ministrations. Her hair was like wet silk as her rinsed the long tresses. Kenshin couldn't help running his gaze over the smooth expanse of skin revealed by the towel as it slipped slightly lower on her back. Kenshin felt his stomach twist as he noticed a thin white line running across her shoulder blades just under the white expanse of bandaging.
Kaoru shifted slightly causing the back of the towel to dip revealing the beginnings of a mottled pattern of scar tissue across her back. Gently wringing the excess water from her hair Kenshin ran a calloused hand over one of the jagged badly healed scars. Immediately, Kaoru stilled her voice low and tentative as she quietly asked,
"What is it Kenshin?"
Kenshin was silent as he gently eased the towel lower. Kaoru tensed holding the towel firmly to her chest unable to repress the fine shiver as Kenshin's calloused hands rasped slightly over the layered scarring on her back.
"What is this?" his voice was quiet a strange emotion echoing in his tone.
At her silence Kenshin turned her to face him. Kaoru kept her head down. Not meeting his eyes she nervously chewed her full lower lip. Clutching the crumpled towel to her chest she watched the ground her long wet hair snaking about her curled form.
For a moment Kenshin was stuck by the vulnerability in her eyes and he hated to see it, hated to see her, so stripped of her fiery temperament and strength. It was wrong.
Reaching out he couldn't help running his hands gently over her shoulders to trail down her bare arms. Catching the towel he eased it back up under her arms savoring the feel of her soft, warm skin.
"Who did this to you." His rich voice a mere whisper.
Catching her face in one hand he lifted her chin gently, her eyes had closed.
"Look at me Kaoru."
At his words her large expressive blue eyes opened meeting his searching golden gaze. For a moment he gazed solemnly into her eyes. Turbulent emotions flickered through the deep azure wells; pain, grief, guilt, fear before a shutter seemed to come down on her face expression her eyes empty and blank.
"Don't shut me out Kaoru." Kenshin punctured his words with slight pressure from the long fingers cradling her face.
A cold flame seemed to kindle in her large cerulean eyes. With cold calculation Kaoru chose words to draw blood,
"I owe you no explanation, manslayer."
If Kenshin was surprised by the venom in her words he didn't show it.
"I would appreciate it if you would unhand me. I am not some slut for you to handle as you wish." Disgust echoed in her flat voice.
Kenshin remained unperturbed, instead of pulling away at her cutting words he leaned forward pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead. Kaoru tensed jerking slightly, but Kenshin's hand held her firmly in place, his voice a low rumble muffled against her skin,
"You may hide behind biting words for now little one, but eventually I won't take no for an answer and you will tell me how you came by every single scar."
Kaoru was silent. Smoothly Kenshin lifted her off the stool lowering her onto the edge of the tub, keeping a steadying arm about her waist. He settled the stool inside the tub and transferred her onto it. Placing the shower head into her hand he placed the soap as well as a change of clothed well within reach. Sliding the shower curtain half way closed he said,
"Call when you're done." and left the door shutting behind him with a soft click.
Kaoru felt the hot angry tears clawing at the backs of her eyelids. Grinding her teeth together she blinked furiously refusing to let them escape.
Damn him! Damn that man for knowing her so well it hurt. For seeing through her harsh words and bringing up what she wanted, no, needed to forget.
Instinctively her lithe form was curling into a fetal position, old fear and pain gnawing at her. With a growl she came to herself and jerked upright, a Kasshin did not cower!
Kaoru frowned slightly her abused body protesting her harsh movements. Slightly jerky fingers quickly removed her bandage and slipped off her shorts, shoving the bundle of cloth towel and all over the edge of the tub. Reaching out to pull the shower curtain closed she ignored the slight tremor in her fingers and the ghost pain crawling over the skin on her back.
Her movements were nearly vicious as she cranked on ice cold water dousing herself without hesitation. The unpleasant sensation banishing the burning pain in her lower back and the horrific smell of burnt flesh from her nose.
When Kenshin removed the slightly damp but dressed Kaoru from the bathroom, he politely ignored the goose flesh crawling on her arms and her blue tinged lips. Gentle sure hands applied clean bandages to her chest as slight shivers caused Kaoru's thin frame to tremble and her stubbornly clenched jaw kept her teeth from chattering.
The look in her blue-black eyes dared him to question her. Instead of rising to the bait Kenshin settled her onto the couch before tugging her resisting and icy body flush against him. As her rigid for absorbed his heat Kenshin listened to her slow heart beat, feeling no need to break the silence that Kaoru had maintained since exiting the shower.
Eventually Kaoru relaxed, her body limp and unresponsive she lay held against him her head resting on Kenshin's shoulder his strangely familiar scent of rich earth and cedar unwillingly reminding Kaoru of complete safety and better times.
Until now Kenshin's hands had rested on her shoulders holding her against him and as they were now, running in a soothing and almost platonic motion up and down her arms, tracing the hollows and dips of her soft skin form wrist to shoulder, except of course for the low keyed sparks of warmth he was unwittingly setting off beneath her skin.
He had become particularly fascinated by the delicately planed contours of her wrist tracing gently but insistently over he pulse point, enjoying the way if feathered languidly against the pads of his fingers.
Had Kaoru thought about it their rather intimate and (for her) vulnerable position might have frightened her. Pressed flush to a man's warm and muscled chest. Her soft breasts pressed embarrassingly against his hard contours as her head rested on his shoulder and she lay nearly sprawled atop him. His strong calloused hands unabashedly exploring the exposed skin of her arms.
But this man was Battousai, this was Kenshin. The world might turn backward before this man meant her harm, before this man hurt her. He was many things but he was not immoral, his personal code of honor far more stringent and binding than any law.
So Kaoru let herself rest sure that, at least in this, he would cease the moment she rebuked him. Safe in his warm embrace.
When Kenshin finally completed his exploration of the smooth skin of Kaoru's arms he gently but firmly placed deliberate hands over Kaoru's lower back. Remaining silent as for the first time Kaoru tensed against him.
Kaoru repressed the quiet whimper that wanted to escape her lips. It was one thing to know what he was planning to do and another to let him. It hurt, so much more than it should have to let him touch those scars. No one was allowed to see those scars much less touch them. Prospective boyfriends learned quickly that Kaoru did not appreciate a hand placed on her lower back to guide her and no one had ever gotten close enough to her to push those boundaries.
With sure hands Kenshin eased the soft cottony fabric of her shirt up over her hips, calmly baring her midriff from just below her breasts to the tops of her shorts. His warm gentle hands began to explore her sides meticulously avoiding the scars, he found liked the way her narrow lightly muscled waist tucked into her hips. By the time Kenshin hand finished tracing the gently sloping lines of her ribs. Kaoru had fallen limp once more unable to resist the comforting safety of his embrace and the simple comfort of human contact.
Only then did Kenshin allow himself to begin carefully mapping to terrible scarring across her back. Calloused fingers lingered almost lovingly over the particularly deep lines crisscrossing the sot expanse of skin. When he felt hot silent tears begin to dampen his shoulder Kenshin said nothing, instead turning his attention to a particularly recognizable section of scarring, starting just above her left hip.
Each about the size of a dime the slightly sunken disks of scar tissue covered an area around four inches wide in a band arching from one hip to the other. Kenshin ached for her. This new discovery a fresh stab of pain and if he were to be completely honest anger. She had been branded.
This knowledge ate at him as Kaoru lay silent and still her tears leaking soundlessly from behind closed eyes. Tenderly Kenshin wrapped his arms about her waist pulling her to his as he finally broke the silence.
"You don't have to face everything alone."
Expecting no response Kenshin found himself tracing meaningless patterns across the supple skin of her abdomen that lay beneath his hands even as his arms encircled her petite form. He said nothing as he felt Kaoru stir her movements almost hesitant as she slipped her arms around his chest to fist her hands in the dark material of his shirt just beneath his shoulder blades. Her voice was low and steady as she finally spoke,
"There's no deterring you is there?"
The rhetorical question hung in the air for a moment as Kenshin traced a particularly deep hook shaped scar on Kaoru's side just below her breast. Then he asked,
"Was it Gohei?"
"If it had been him it would have been a slash to the face or a beating. He was never one for subtleties." Kaoru said finding comfort in the way Kenshin's arms were tightening drawing her closer if that were possible.
"Who?" Kenshin prompted.
Kaoru's voice was quiet as she replied, "Izuka."
Kenshin became very still, fighting the urge to find the two-faced bastard. Kaoru seemed not to notice she continued speaking as if she were telling the story of another rather than her own, and perhaps some part of her believed that, for Kaoru Kasshin was well and truly dead. Yes, some traces of the short feisty fighter remained but those days had long since gone. Leaving behind a hurting woman divested of everything she knew in life and completely alone.
"It was after Koshijirō died. You know Gohei was acting on Izuka's orders?" her question was phrased as a statement and she continued without pause.
"Said I needed to be subdued, that I had to know who was in charge…" she trailed off her voice becoming rough "they wanted a puppet that would follow their agenda… my refusal was not taken well."
Aww, poor Kaoru, she's more of a damaged soul than Kenshin is. Oh well they need to spend some time in each other's shoes
I want to thank all my lovely reviewers. your all good people ^_^
Disclaimer: see previous chapters...I'm sure I put something very intuitve and funny there...at some point
p.s. did I get the spelling on Izuka's name right? I honestly have no idea... I apologize if my lack of research bugs anyone ^_^