Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.

How do you get over being cheated on when you're still in love with him? - unknown.

After Edward left, I sat on the floor for hours. At least that's what it felt like. Trying to move my stiff muscles and aching back was painful to say the least. When I finally got up, I went straight to my room. To my bed. Where it feels like I've been spending most of my time recently.

Lying on my bed, I look up at the ceiling. I'll give myself tonight. Tonight is the only night I will allow myself to mope. Sleeping all day isn't going to make the problem go away, but it sure helps if only for a short period of time.

Getting up off the bed I go to my dressing table and sit down heavily onto the stool. Looking into the mirror, I see a mess staring back; puffy, red eyes with big dark circles underneath them. I think my bags have bags right now. My hair is thrown into a messy bun atop my head. Don't get me started on the clothes that have been thrown on.

This isn't me. I'm not a narcissist, but I do take pride in my appearance. I like having perfect hair and makeup, and wearing flawless clothes and carrying designer handbags when I go out in public.

I never used to. I really didn't care about my appearance much to my mother's dismay. I guess being held up to the Cullen's high expectations changed me. The looks and bitchy comments I would receive if I didn't glam up a bit before I went out just wasn't worth the hassle.

My phone buzzes on the bed. I about have a heart attack as it shocks me out of my thoughts. Dread feels my mind instantly. What if it's Edward? I can't do this again tonight! Slowly, getting off the stool, I make my way over to the phone. It's stopped buzzing so it means it's a text. Just a text I tell myself over and over in my head.

Picking up my phone I realize my panic was for nothing. It's only Angela.

Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night? Catch up and get drinks?

Angela and I have been best friends since I can remember. She is my nearest and dearest friend. It happened in Kindergarten when I stole her juice box. Angela doesn't take shit from anyone. Not now and especially not then. She put me in my place that day and we decided to let bygones be bygones. After that we were in separable.

I don't know if it's a good idea to go out this soon. I mean I am still grieving right? But I also feel it would be good for me. Getting out and socializing a bit. I quickly write out my response and press send, agreeing to go.

After sorting out a time and place I lay my phone back on the vanity. This will be fun I have to remind myself again and again. I feel like the fun has been ripped out of me over the last couple of days, which is annoying to say the least.

Making my way to the bed, I pull back the covers and climb inside. Anxiety fills my bones. Edward will come back tomorrow. I'm surprised he left in the first place. He can be very persistent when he wants to.

Laying on my side, the picture resting on the nightstand catches my attention. It was the day Edward proposed. I couldn't have asked for a better proposal. Looking At the picture, I can't help but be taken back to that amazing evening.

It was beautiful there. We were sitting on a verandah with an amazing view of the Italian countryside. We had decided that we wanted to travel around the world a little before we properly settled down. I must say it was one of our finer ideas.

I looked up from my wine glass and gazed at Edward. The last specks of sun beamed across his face making his green eyes look even greener than usual. It was a beautiful view from where we were sitting, but staring at Edward, I realized mine was much better.

"You look absolutely beautiful, Isabella." Edward whispered while staring into my eyes. We must have been having similar thoughts.

I know the blush on my face was a telltale sign that I liked his compliments. It hadn't taken long after we had met on the balcony to realize that I was head over heels for him. It took even less time to realize that I was in love with him.

"I love you." I finally responded back. "But why are we whispering?" I should have a degree in ruining the moment When anything romantic is said to me, I just have to ruin it.

Edward didn't care though. He threw his head back in laughter, and reached for his glass to take a swig of wine.

"I've actually been meaning to ask you something." He spoke in a normal tone this time. Thank god because whispering made me nervous.

"And that is..." I trail off.

He got off the chair in which he had been sitting and crouched beside me before falling onto one knee and pulled out a ring. Who said men couldn't multitask?

"Isabella Marie Swan, the moment I laid eyes on you I knew you were the one. I want to wake up to you every day for the rest of my life, I want to have children with you and I want you to be my wife." He takes a deep breath.

He must have been nervous because I could see sweat starting to form on his forehead.

"Will you marry me?"

It took me a full minute to react to what he was asking me. My face must have been a picture. Finally after what felt like forever, my answer came flying out.

"Yes!" I cried enthusiastically. Edward slid the ring onto my finger just in time before I threw myself at him kissing his lips over and over again. We were in our own little bubble for a few minutes before I realized that we were at a restaurant and people were staring at and clapping for us.

"I'm getting hitched." I screamed excitedly while waving my now ringed finger in the air. Cheers and shouts filled the room from the other diners. The waiters brought out a bottle of champagne with sparklers in for us. We drank and celebrated all night long; first with others at the restaurant, and then in bed on our own much, much later.

Looking away I glance down at my ring before swiftly taking it off my finger and throwing it across the room. I didn't care where it went, I didn't care if it was lost; I just wanted it away from me. All the celebration that night with all those people; if they could see us now, what would they think? Just another failed marriage.

I'm just about to climb into bed when a thought hits me. What if she was here? What if he had brought his mystery whore into our bedroom? What if they lay on our bed and fucked? I feel sick to my stomach. Every time I think about what could have happened in this bed, I feel a wave of nausea hit me.

Jumping out of the bed as quickly as possible, and feeling like a mad woman, I run down the stairs and into the shed in the backyard. Yanking open the door, I run in. Screw drivers, nails and sand paper are just a few of the items that go flying onto the floor in my haste.

Finally, after finding what I'm looking for, I pick it up and run back up the stairs at lightning speed.

I don't give it a second thought before I rip the mattress off the bed and start sawing the bed frame in half. I feel possessed. I didn't even know I was so strong before bits of wood started flying around me.

What feels like minutes but I know has been hours, the bed has successfully been... eradicated into smaller parts. I grab as many pieces as I possibly can before I run back downstairs. I throw them into the fire bin. Grabbing a lighter, I set fire to a bit of paper and hope it catches.

It does.

I ran up and down the stairs so many times, I lost count, grabbing wood of all different sizes and throwing it into the lit bin. After I've grabbed my last handful, my thoughts switch to the mattress. It also needs to be eliminated. Maybe I should have started with that first?

I heave the mattress up before rolling it down the stairs. Why do they make these things so heavy? After picking it back up again, I lug it through the kitchen and into the yard; with a lot of effort I might add! I go much further down though. I don't want it burning near my house. Grabbing the lighter again I set fire to the edge of the mattress.

After it's successfully lit, I walk back to the patio. Going inside, I grab a bottle of wine, a glass and a lawn chair and set up next to the burning woodpile. The mattress is still burning in the distance.

I watch the fire burn away as I drink away my sorrows.

Both fires have burned out and I am one hundred percent drunk. One and half empty bottles stand beside me. It's late, or early, depending on what way you look at it.

Because of my drunken half asleep state I don't hear the patio door open, but I definitely hear the voice of the man that opened it.

"What in the world are you doing?" Edward asks shocked.

"Well, hello to you too, Edward. You're a bit late to the party." Shit, it comes out as a slur. A drunken 'I can't speak' slur.

"Are you ... drunk?"

"Merry definitely merry."

"Is that a mattress?" He squints into the distance.

"Maybe." I say nonchalantly. "Why are you here?"

"The neighbors called. They said there has been smoke coming from our back yard for hours now. When it got to be three in the morning and they still saw smoke, they thought they had better check." Edward explains.

Fucking Banner family. Had to ruin the pity party I was throwing for myself. They've never known how to have fun.

"Come on, it's going to get light soon, and you need to go to bed."

A psychopathic laugh comes flying out my mouth and now I can't stop.

"Bed!" I cough out still laughing. "Okay, I'll go to bed." I stand up from the chair and try to make my way up the garden. I don't make it very far. I'm hardly out of the chair before I start falling. Yep, definitely more drunk than 'merry'.

Before I fall flat on my face Edward catches me.

"Don't touch me." I say with as much venom as I can muster. "You lost that right the moment you stuck your dick in your whore."

"Bella, I know what I've done is wrong. I know that. After I left earlier it all hit me. I have no excuse for what I did and that makes it even worse." He takes a deep breath. "But believe me when I say I'm going to prove to you that I love you. That I always have."

I feel tears starting to form in my eyes. I will not let them fall though. He will never see me cry another tear over his infidelity. He doesn't deserve it.

"You say that you love me as if you know what that means, but that's not possible Edward. If you did know the meaning of love, you'd know that you don't cheat on them."

"I kno-"

"Save it. I'm not doing this now. I want you to leave my house, and please leave your key. You're not welcome here anymore."

"Okay, I'll leave but I'll be back later today because we need to talk." He stares straight into my eyes with authority. "But you're not getting my key. It's not just your house Bella, it's mine as well and I have as much right to be here as you do."

I know I should shout and scream and demand that he give me the key, but right now I'm so tired. All of my previous energy is gone. I feel vulnerable and miserable. All I want is my bed which is in a pile of charred wood in in my yard.

"I'm going to bed, I'm sure you can let yourself out." I say without giving him a second glance.

He doesn't respond.

I slowly make my way up to the guest bedroom. Now I think this is the room that Edward more likely would have taken her if he had brought her here. That's what I hope anyway.

Climbing under the covers, I can't help but hope he followed my wishes and left. I listen for the front door to close. While waiting, I can't help but drift off to sleep.

I feel like shit.

My head is pounding and my mouth is dry. I desperately need water. You know the feeling when you've drank so much the night before, and then you take a sip of water; it feels like it's come from God's personal well? Yeah that's me right now.

I make my way downstairs with much trouble. Why did I do this to myself? First thing I do is to grab a glass and fill it with water. The relief is instant, thank god. Standing at the counter, I look out the window at what used to be my neat and tidy yard.

Safe to say it's fucked.

I may have gone a little crazy last night... or a lot crazy depending on how you look at it I guess.

My phone is lying on the table in front of me. Picking it up, I see that it's two in the afternoon and I have a text from Angela.

We still on for tonight? - A.

Shit. I forgot about our plans for drinks tonight. Right now, I couldn't think of anything worse. My stomach clenches at the thought of another drop of alcohol. Eww.

I'm so sorry I completely forgot! The thought of a late night and drinking right now makes me want to barf. Do you mind if I cancel? We will definitely meet up sometime this week? - B

Her reply is instant.

Hungover? That's fine, text me when you're free? -A

Yes of course! I'll call you tomorrow to make plans - B

As soon as I send the text a memory hits me. You know the kind of memory you have after you've been drinking? You could be doing something completely off topic, but then you suddenly remember bits and pieces? Yeah I have that.

Edward was here last night. We had a conversation. God how embarrassing, it's lucky he didn't see me mid breakdown. Who knows what could have happened.

I recall telling him to leave. He's definitely not here now so I'm glad he respected my wishes, but there isn't a key on the table.

'I'll be back later today because we need to sort this out.'

His words flash through my mind. I can't see him. I know we need to talk about things, but at the moment, I'm just not in the right head space.

Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen I write a quick note.

Edward,

I know we need to talk, but I'm not ready. Every time I look at your face, I'm reminded of how much you have betrayed me. How much pain you've brought into my life.

I'm leaving. I need time and space before I'm willing to talk to you. You could say I'm a coward and running away from my problems, but if that's what you think, then so be it.

I will contact you when I feel ready. Until that time, please don't try to contact me.

Bella.

I place the note on the hallway table, and hopefully by the time he reads it, I'll be far away. I want to run away from my problems. I just want to pack a bag and leave even though I know that ignoring something doesn't make it go away. It just makes it worse.

Half an hour later, I've packed a bag and headed out the door. My heart beats erratically in my chest. It would just be my luck that Edward would turn up as I'm leaving.

I hastily chuck my bags into the trunk of the car before swiftly driving away. My heartbeats settle the further away I get from the house. I don't have a plan and I definitely do not know where I'm driving. All I know is that I don't want to be anywhere that he can find me. I know Edward, and he won't stop until he finds me, but I'm not going to make it easy for him.

A couple of hours later, I'm pulling off the road I was following into a seedy looking hotel. Perfect.

Pulling into the parking lot, I start to take in my surroundings a bit more. Dirty windows, broken railings and a questionable looking maid are a few of the things that I see.

It's the last place Edward would think I would go. I mean he wouldn't anyway because of how far away I am, but now any doubt in my mind has been squashed.

Two months ago, I wouldn't have been seen dead in a place like this. I was used to the prestigious life of five star hotels. I don't think this one is even on the rating system.

I get out of the car and start making my way to the reception sign, which is hanging by a thread.

All I can do is hope that I have made a good decision. Something tells me I have.

Hello!

Thank you for reading!

Thank you to EdwardsFirstKiss for betaring this and pointing out a few mistakes!

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