~X-mission: Plan C~

Xanxus figures out if he can't make Squalo laugh, he will force the laughter out from him. Knowing that Mammon's illusions are practically useless to the born-assassin, he asked if Mammon can do something like mind-manipulation or hypnosis.

"Of course I can do that, Boss. But I will need the enemy to very weak before I can proceed and I personally don't think fighting Squalo for this reason is very wise." Explains Mammon patiently, putting up with it's Boss bullshit. It can't complaint, it is paid.

"Mm... What about when he's just awake, or...we drug him?"

"Squalo is no easy target, Boss. He's cautious of the surroundings even if he's asleep. I suppose only Lussuria's able to drug him. But then he'll be laughing like mad and hell with break loose."

"Doesn't matter, just get that peacock gay to drug him! I want to record it down and upload it to Youtube!"

"Alright, Boss. I'll get Lussuria to cooperate."

That very night, Lussuria has prepared dinner for everyone, each of them an individual platter. Xanxus' the first person to be in the dining hall, as he doesn't want to miss the show. As the clock's hour hand strikes to five, a shadows creeps in to the room. The Varia Boss is expecting it to be Squalo since he's always punctual, but it isn't the target.

"Ushishishishi the prince is so hungry today~~ What's for dinner Boss?" The blonde with a shiny tiara on his head walks directly at the dishes and grabs the first plate he saw. "Individual platter huh? Shishishishi the prince likes this so much!" The apple-hatted boy and the baby behinds him help themselves too with the dishes they like. This is the Varia: first come, first serve; late ones, eat yourself. Xanxus' a little disappointed that Squalo isn't here yet but he knows the shark will fest in here in no time. For the first time, Xanxus sits quietly and waits, like a spider waiting for its prey to fell for the trap.

The self-proclaimed prince's just about to settle down before Lussuria the mama rushes out of the kitchen (where he's hiding to capture the video) all of sudden shrieking femininely (and bitchy) at our confused and harassed Belphagor.

"NO no no no~ Belphy-chan you can't eat this~~! This platter is especially for Squ-chan~!" Oh damn that bitch has blurted it all out. Xanxus should have known that Lussuria's mouth isn't airtight like Mammon.

"? The prince gets to choose and eats whatever he wants. Squalo can eat my remaining food shishishishi..." Bastard, let go of Squalo's food!

"Sempai's really thick-headed don't you think? Ouch, please don't poke me with the fork, sempai."

"I guess it's pretty much useless to stop you from eating Squalo's portion, mu?"

"Belphy~~ I've cooked you your favourite cod fish and lobster~~! Now why don't you exchange it with Squalo's clam and tuna fish platter like a good boy~~?" Lussuria tries his best to persuade the blonde youngster but like Fran said, that psychotic genius is one hell of a stubborn human being.

"Shishishi the prince feels like having more simple meal today." Belphagor says as he chomps down a part of the tuna steak in his "princely" way. Lussuria can only watch him hopelessly as the main target steps into the room at the very right moment Xanxus' about to snatch the food from Belphagor. Everyone stops cold for a nanosecond as they see the storm that's coming.

"VVVOOOIIII what's the fuss with food!? It's just FOOD! I'll be taking the codfish and the lobster! How luxurious!" Squalo makes his manifesto loudly as he grabs the royal platter and sits at his usual place, beside Xanxus.

Fuck you prince trash for ruining my plan! Now I'll make you pay later!

"VOI XANXUS what's with that face!? The food is bad?"

*Smash*

"Shut up and eat, trash."

"TCH DO YOU HAVE TO BREAK ANOTHER FUCKING GLASS! THAT COSTS MONEY!"

"I say shut up and eat, trash."

As everybody arrives in the hall and eat, Belphagor feels something's not right. The atmosphere smells...funny. The food is...funny. His surroundings is...funny. He feels...funny.

The drug is starting to take effect.

"Sempai, why are you twitching like a worm although me know you're a worm all along but it's weird for you to show your true form now-"

A weak stab is delivered to the teal boy's shoulder. The youngster beside the boy is wriggling and twitching to violently to do anything. His face's distorted into and ugly expression. God saves all of them that Belphagor has his bangs grown to cover half of his face.

"Sempai? Please don't die. Me will miss bending your oddly-and-ugly-shaped knifes if you die here."

"VVOII Bel knock it off! It's disgusting!"

"So this is what you called 'princely'?"

Xanxus, Lussuria and Mammon just watch the scenario silently. Levi decided to remain silent as Boss does.

"Shishishi, the prince is happieeeeee shishishishi tickles shi-shis- it tickles shihihehe eeeeveeeryywheriiieeeee~~~~!" The poor young assassin drops to the carpeted floor as he grins and twitch and finally breaks into an uncontrollable laughter, with everyone witnessing this.

"KIIIEEEEEEEEE HI HI HI SHISHIH HIHIHIHIHI HEHEHEHEHEH SHIHIHIHIHIHIH!" Belphagor let out a crazed laughter, his body follows the rhythm of his laugh, twitching and heaving and squirming in a very very unprincely way.

"Scary!" Squeals the mist boy [yes, squeal. He's just a boy ;)]

"VOOII! LUSSURIA! GIVE HIM SOME MEDICAL HELP! IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME HE WENT PSYCHOTIC!" Squalo shouts directly and Lussuria.

"I-I don't know what to do~!" Screams a panicked flamboyant gay. This cherish man has put a little higher dose of laughing drugs in originally Squalo's food, since Squalo's pretty much a harder person to amuse. But now the over-dose drug has got a really bad side-effect on Belphagor, the already insane Belphagor.

"SSHHHIIIHIHIHHIHIHIHIHIH KIEEEEYAAAAAAAA MY HANDS ITCHES! I NEED TO KI- SHISHIHISHISHIHHIHIHIHIHIHI KILLLLLLLLLL! BUULLLOOOOOOOODDDDDEEEE!" The drugged prince with his left hanging around the sides, picks up any cutlers or sharp objects in sight and starts a new century's Alamo. Everyone knows that how well a berserk Belphagor can kill. As I'd like to keep this story T-rated, I will not share Belphagor's gory attempts here.

All hell breaks loose. Or worst.