Chapter 4

Joseph was standing there completely at a loss in the middle of her office where she left him. Everything was so surreal, she could not say anything as an answer, not even a lie, she simply did not say anything, then told him out of the blue that she loves him then gone. Actually he strated to think that there's something wrong with him, it could not happen as it was. He knew women are complicated, but he never ever experienced this so closely and especially not with Clarisse. She was always a rational woman, and whatever happened they could always talk about it, but now... there were no answers.

As he pulled himself together a bit, he decided to go after her and try to find out what happened when he saw Charlotte on the corridor.

"Charlotte... Charlotte," she finally stopped and turned around.

"What happened? You look like who've seen a ghost."

"Yes, I feel exactly like that," answered Joseph, "I tried to talk with Clarisse, but she behaves extremely strange."

"I know what you are talking about. Since we came back from America she is like who is somewhere else in mind. Sometimes she cannot hear what I'm saying, signes documents two or three times at the same place, or suddenly she jumps up in the middle of a meeting and just go out to the garden for a walk, or simply go to sleep in her clothes."

"I didn't know that it's so serious."

"Yes, sorry. I did not want to worry you. Frankly, I thought if you will be near her again, she will be ok."

"I really don't know what the problem is, but it must be something serious. I hoped you can tell me what is with her, but it seems I have to find out."

"Yes. I think you are the only one who can "bring her back."

"I only hope so..." answered Joseph, but he knew somehow he was the cause of this situation. "I think I... I go after her."

"Good luck." whispered Charlotte as he rushed away.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Joseph softly knocked on her suite's door but got no answer, so he tried the doorknob what was not closed fortunately.

As he stepped inside everything was dark. His first thought was she already went to sleep, but then he realized that just a few minutes passed since she hastened away, so maybe she headed not her suite but the garden. So he nearly decided to leave her suite when he heard quiet sobbing from her bedroom. He knew it would have been better to leave her alone, but he was not able to do it... He slowly went in and stepped behind her, softly putting his arms around her. Although she wanted to run away it was too good to feel his arms around her. His warm body, his relaxing presence was like a drog for her, so she did not push him away just enjoyed his loving embrace, his soft kisses on her neck. One kiss after another and soon she was completely giving over to his caresses.

They did not plan like this. She knew she can stop him anytime, but she was not able to do it, it was too good... and Joseph, he knew maybe it's the worst idea at the moment, but the temptation was bigger than any rational thought not to mention how much he longed to her sweet curves after their first and only night at the consulate. So the sequence was determined. For an hour or so they completely forgot about all the rational things and lost themselves in their own little world again.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

In the middle of the night Joseph woke up on crying. It was not loud, just sobbing. Clarisse turned her back to him and she was sobbing quietly.

"Darling..." he tried softly. "What's wrong?... Clarisse?"

"Please leave me..."

"What?" he thought he heard it wrong.

"Just leave me alone...Please." she repeated desperately.

"Look Clarisse. It's not a solution... If you do not tell me what the problem is, I cannot help you."

"Leave me. That's how you can help me now."

"No." answered Joseph simply, what made her turn around.

"Then I will go." she said and with that jumped out of bed frustrated and left him again. It seemed it was a habit of her...

"Bloody hell!" cried Joseph and started to dress up in a record time. The only thing he could think on to go after her as fast as he could, but he could not go in his boxers, because she would never forgive him if he would compromise her with running out her suite in his boxers.

A few moments later he was already outside her suite, but she could run pretty fast, so she was already far away. He started to seek her in various places, tried to think with her head if it was possible, but he knew if he would be able to do that, he would knew what the problem is. Anyway he checked every potential places what popped to his head, the kitchen, her office, the library she loved so much and even that guest room she liked to hide away in if she wanted a little peace, but she was nowhere. In his last desperation he went out to the garden, taking a walk on their usual route when he finally saw her huddled up on their bench behind the cherry trees.

As he stepped closer he saw that she was already sleeping. Gosh, she was beautiful and his heart was breaking. He could not say how worried he was about her, he was not angry at all, he was just awfully desperate to help her somehow. He loved her more than life itself and now she was sleeping on a bench in her nightgown huddled up like a little animal. It was heartbreaking... he decided he won't wake her up, so he carefully picked her up and took her back to her suite. He softly lied her down to her bed and covered her with a blanket then just sat down to the floor next to her. He did not want to risk another scene with finding him in her bed when she woke up.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

The rest of the night was uneventfull, while she was sleeping he just sat there and had time to think about her. He tried to find out what was the reason of her behaviuor, actually he had many ideas, but the worst and most rationable answer was that maybe Rupert was aggressive with her in their very private life.

As she slowly woke up and opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Joseph who was watching her softly from the ground. For a few moments neither of them speak just stared at each other. Her eyes were full of tears as she was watching him...

"Did he... did he rape you?" asked Joseph suddenly, surprised on his own question, because so many things were in his head and this just slipped out somehow.

"What?" asked Clarisse surprised, suddenly totally wake up from her daydreaming. "Raped me?! Who?"

"Rupert."

"No," she answered as an instant and sat up. "Why would he raped me? I mean how could you ask something like this? Are you mad?!"

"Mad?," repeated Joseph a bit edgy and stood up, "Let me see. I don't know, but maybe yes I'm mad, because the woman who I love and supposedly she loves me too, run until the end of the garden or leave the country after every single time we are together and she frequently has a crying fit."

"...Thanks," she answered offended.

"I'm sorry. You know, I didn't mean it." he said softly and tried to drew her closer, but she stopped him.

"Never mind. Just... just let me to the bathroom." she held up her hand, didn't look at him.

"Of course, just go and... and I'll bring you some tea until you will be inside."

"Thank you." she said quietly and left him.

As she stepped into the bathroom she quickly closed the door, ran the shower then she just laid to the wall and slowly slipped down, while she stareted crying desperately... She knew she had to chose the best solution for both of them, it does not matter how painful it is, so when she finally stopped crying she already knew the answer... she has to close Joseph out of her life.

To be continued...