Chapter 4: Deceit
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
ALMOST LOVER BY FINE FRENZY
It was Thursday night and Rose was sleeping over. Thursdays were always hard on my dad.
He met my mom on a Thursday and lost her on one too.
Tells me how evil they are all the time.
"Bella, your dad is really weird about this Thursday thing...I mean he won't even let you drive to the grocery store"!
"Rose, we don't need anything from the grocery store. And you know why he's like that Rose." I give her a pointed Look and she frowns.
"I actually wanted to go to the grocery store." she mumbled.
I narrowed my eyes at her.
"For what"?
"You know basic stuff." she shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly and I snort.
"Well, I am sure your basics can wait...Whatever it is."
"Okei fine! I might have over heard Emmett Cullen talking on the phone with his mom, saying that he would go grocery shopping for her after his workout. This is in five minutes. And do not ask me how I know that"! She giggles nervously a bit at the end and I sit here starting at her in amazement.
"Aha! So you've taken a liking to Emmett I see." I smile knowingly at her and wiggle my eyebrows up and down.
"Stop that! Don't think I haven't noticed your unusual civilized conversations with Edward."
"What? Pshh, No! We are Co employees and as my trainee I have to give him my guidance." I huff at her at cross my arms.
"Bull shit Swan! Now if we find a way to go grocery shopping I'll let this Edward thing go...for now."
Uuu, tempting. And I will have to accept. I do not in the slightest have any romarical feelings towards Asstard. So talking about it is pointless.
"Alright let's go." were heading out of the door when dad stops us. Just like I new he would.
"Where you going ona Thursday"? He looks frightened and guilt pinches at my gut.
"Dad we just need to go to the grocery store for some...things, we'll be safe I promise"! His face drains of all color and his breathing becomes labored.
Ugh this was totally a bad idea!
"Daddy breath! Look it's alight we'll take the bike, just like I do when I work on Thursdays." I kiss his cheek and his breathing evens out a bit.
"I can take you." he says quietly. But we both know he's in no condition to drive.
"Its Okei daddy, you stay and well be back before you know it."
I hug him and watch as he nods and heads back into the living room.
"Alright, now we can go." I turned to see rose with a sour expression.
"The bike"?
My smile is bright as lead her to my bike.
"Look Rose your the one that wants to go! I don't even know why, you'll see him tomorrow." I push the bike out onto the street.
"It's all part of my master plan, B"
She smiles and sends a wink my way.
"Alright Casanova. How about you petal and I sit on these extremely uncomfortable handle bars."
"Whatever sure, let's go though. NOW"!
It takes us five tries before we can ride steadily without me falling over.
Maybe I should have pedaled...
"Fuck I'm gonna look disgusting and sweaty when I see him! Dam you Bella."
I laugh loudly. I have never seen my Rosie go to extreme measures to get attention from a guy. A guy that by the way is trying just as hard.
Once were there I quickly recognize Edwards Volvo.
We walk in and she grabs an empty cart deserted in the caned food isle.
"Can we go to the isle where they keep the little Debbie goodies"? I look over at her.
"Isabella you are going to spoil you teeth rotten I tell you." she cracks a smile at me and we laugh.
Were turning in the isle that holds a little piece of heaven when rose crashes against someone else's cart.
"Ohmygosh I am so sorry! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." Rose's apology is rare and I instantly know who she has run into.
Ahh and he's wearing a midnight Blue Sweater!
How lovely!
"No, No it was totally my fault I was looking for garbanzo beans. I'm Emmett by the way." he smiles real sweet and his dimples are showing and he stretches out his hand.
Someone's laying it on thick!
Rose does a little giggle and I totally tune them out once I see the goodies in the isle!
"OhMyLanta"! My eyes go wide as I take in the candy and goodies and I swear I heard someone is singing in the background….
The hills are alive,
With the sound of music
With songs they have sung
For a thousand years
"Is this what it looks like to fall in love"? Silky smooth this voice and I know whose.
"Hello Eduardo! This most certainly is the look of love."
I give him a once over and turn back to my haven.
"Ohmy...look Ed, Look"! I'm crouched down on the floor looking at the contents of the bottom shelf.
"It looks like we've found the treasure." he picks up the last of the bins full of jelly beans and smiles.
I narrow my eyebrows at him.
"You uhh...gonna buy that Cullen"? Look away nonchalantly.
"It's the craziest thing really; I suddenly had the weirdest craving for jelly beans"!
"Ohh you little..."
"Now now now Isabella. I can share." he winks and I scowl.
"How bout this...Take me to Mammas on Friday after work and you'll get these babies back."
"What! Why would I take you to Mammas"?
"Well I don't know how true to your word you are swan but, if I remember correctly you extended the invite this time."
Hmm true indeed. I invited him...
I rub my chin thoughtfully and look at him.
"Fine I take you to Mammas on one condition. I pay."
He looked annoyed at my request and he rolled his eyes.
"Okei Deal." he smiles crookedly at me and I quickly look away…
Dam that smile...
I had to pry Rose away from Emmett. It was getting late and I knew dad was hyperventilating on his old couch.
Once she paid for her toothbrush.
Yheaa you know the basics.
We were on our third try to stay balanced on the bike when Edwards Volvo pulled up next to us.
"So...as entertaining as this has been...do you ladies want a ride"? Assward began laughing but when I didn't respond he composed himself long enough to look at me.
Ohh...I can't get in that car...
"Yes! We would love a ride." my eyes snap to Rose and my frustration with her grows.
I know I said my dad was weird about the whole Thursday thing, but honestly... It's rubbed off. And I know I can come off as ignorant and uncaring but Rose should know that it's all BS. Now she's put me in a terrible situation.
Rose is halfway to the car and I stand unmoving next to my bike.
"Bella come on"! She yells over her shoulder.
"You know what...I think I'll just uhh ride there." I give them a tight lipped smile and look down.
When I look up I see Rose sitting in the backseat engrossed in a conversation with Emmett. My feelings are hurt and I can't look at her anymore. Edwards's door opens and he walks my way.
"Emmett you drive Rose home and I'll ride with Bella." I don't say anything because I know how I am when I get emotional.
Emmett just nods his head never leaving roses eyes.
Edward sits on the bike and pats the Space between the handlebars. I only nod and hop on.
We ride in silence and along the way tears spill from my eyes.
I blame it on the wind…
When we get home he stops on the sidewalk. I get down and sit on the pavement and he joins me.
"Thank you." I say quietly. I wrap my arms around my legs and lay me head on my knees looking at him.
"I know you probably think it's stupid and crazy that I didn't want a ride in your car but it's nothing personal I promise."
Edward looks at me intently and slowly he moves closer and closer.
He's so close that I can feel hot air on my face every time he breaths. His lips are just barley grazing against mine and I'm frozen in place. He speaks in a whisper and his lips brush lightly against mine.
"You never get in cars on Thursdays, I know. I always pay attention to you Bella." my breath shakes and my eyes close as I lean my forehead against his. Our lips still graze but never fully touch.
"My mother died in a car accident on a Thursday, I just can's explain it, it's weird I know—" his lips press down gently on mine and the sensation is so overwhelming I have to reach up and touch him. My hand is on his neck and we both pull back when we hear a car coming down the street.
When I open my eyes tears spill out and he wipes them away gently.
I turn my head and pushed his hand away. It was an automatic response and I wanted to take it back. The hurt showed in his face but it was gone once the car door opens in front of us.
"Edward..." I didn't know what to say.
"Goodnight, Swan." he rides shotgun and they leave as soon as he gets in.
"Bella what's wrong"? Rose kneels down next to me but I quickly stand up.
"I'm tired." I get up and drop the bike roughly on the front steps and head inside. Rose is hot on my heal but I don't give her a chance. Once in the room I take off my shoes pants and jacket and get under the covers and close my eyes.
Rose doesn't ask what's wrong again. I don't even know if she cares.
Friday morning is awkward and Rose seems to get the memo that I was a bit mad at her. She left me be.
School went by in a blur. My head was in a fog and all I kept thinking about is the private intimate moment I shares with him.
I've replayed it over and over. I felt safe and things felt right in that moment.
I hadn't seen him all day. Before his Name never even crossed my mind. But recently I've found myself searching the crowded hallway for an unruly strange bronze shade set of hair and my eyes always seek out bright intense green.
I think I'm going through withdraws.
Too much Edward isn't a good thing.
After school I go home, change clothes, watch dad sleep and then head out.
Once I'm at Joeys Edward is already there and my stomach does a little flip and I feel like I can let out a breath that I've been holding in all day.
I take my place at the register while he's fixing up a sandwich. I don't say hi, or greet him with in insult. My usual stupid banter doesn't seem good enough. He doesn't speak to me all day and if I'm being honest it's killing me. Just like he once did I try to press his buttons but he doesn't give me the time of day. I'm desperate for a reaction and I'm not sure why...his silence is killing and feel like crawling under a rock.
Time seemed to drag but finally its closing time. I was feeling weary and I just wanted to go home.
When I was hopping into my truck he finally calls out to me.
"So you were just gonna stand me up"? He's teasing and I can't help but smile brightly at him
"I just assumed...that Mammas was off." I shrugged my shoulders and kicked around some dirt with my shoes.
"I'm in if you are." he nudges my shoulder and smiles.
"Okei wait here." I quickly get my bag from my car and run back inside. I change out of my work clothes and run back outside.
He frowns when he sees me.
"Wow. Do I look that bad?" I scowl.
"No,No Its just... I didn't remember to bring clothes...umm do you mind if I go home real quickly and change"?
"No, not at all. What should I do with my car"?
"Just leave it here we'll pick it up when we get back." I nod and hop into his car.
His car smells of him and I blush because I have the urge to snuggle into the leather seat.
When we get to his house I tell him I'll wait out here but he insist that I enter. He sits me on his homey but expensive looking couch and he says he'll be back in 5.
"I'm home"! The front door opens and closes and I Shrink into myself on the couch.
"Well hello"? My head snaps up to see a handsome man.
"Uhh hello Dr. Cullen, I'm just waiting for Edward we're going to out for pizza. I'm Bella." he smiles brightly and walks over to shake my hand.
"How nice to meet one of Edwards's friends."
"Well were not really frie—"
"Carlisle your home early, Oh who is this"? Edwards's mom is beautiful and I see where he got the hair from.
"Esme this is Bella, Edwards Date tonight." Esme smiles brightly and puts her hand over her heart.
"How lovely"!
"It's more of a formal gathering between two school Acquaintances who care very little for each other..."
She smiles like she knows a big secret and winks.
"Of hunny, Sure."
"Ready." I turn to see Edward dressed in normal clothes and I nod my head eagerly. He says bye to his parents and were off to Port Angeles.
"Your mom is very pretty." I say to stop the silence. He smiles warmly and nods his head.
"Yes she is very beautiful." I can tell he loves her and I'm jealous of him.
"What's wrong"? He glances at me and I bite my lip and look out the window.
"Nothing. You're lucky that's all." I don't look at him for fear of what I might see but I feel his hand rest gently over mine.
I let out a shaky breath and smile.
When we get to Mammas everyone greets me by name and we hug like were family. I love everyone here so much. My mom and I would come here for a girl's night every week since I could chew.
"So this is your second home." he laughs and I do too.
"You can say that." I head over to a booth near the back and sit opposite him. It's Friday and the place is crowded. People are drinking and their laughing. We silly banter for a couple minutes and then we order.
"So in all honesty Cullen. Why did you want me to come tonight"? I was extremely curious.
He shrugs and leans in.
"I enjoy your company Swan. What can I say...your corky wit has charmed me?"
I charm him...
"Well I mean, I don't hate your company...but then again I don't particularly like it either." he scowls at me and I giggle.
"I kid I kid. No, I mean I have a good time around you too."
We smile at each other.
"You know, this just might be the most civilized conversation we've ever had." I bite my lip and nod.
"So is it safe to say we're...dare I say fiends"?
Friends...
My thoughts jumped to last night.
Lips brushing mine...
Friends don't do that...
"Yheaa...friends." I manage a small smile and he looks confused.
"Bella, you've never liked me. Why"? His chin is in his hand and he looks incredibly curious.
"Well it all started in third grade. I was switched to Ms. Kenni's class and when I went to line up at her door you were there. I said, "Hey, cool hair I'm Bella." and you said, "Your socks don't match." you laughed and walked into class yelling over your shoulder "And I haven't combed my hair in days, freak." Which in all actuality I should have been calling you a freak...seriously days"!?
"What! NO! I do not remember that"! He laughs at my story. But I insist it was true.
"Seriously though, from then on...I kinda had I out for you."
"You are something else Swan."he shakes his head and laughs.
When our food comes I instantly take out my I phone and click a picture of him taking his fist ever bite of a Mammas pizza. "Important life moment." is all I say when he raises a questioning eyebrow.
All night I deliberated which moment would be alright to ask about last night...but chickened out every time. I was having a good time and I didn't want to ruin it...
Maybe he wanted to pretend it never happened...
So I didn't bring it up and I just enjoyed the moment. It was the best choice.
After some great food, we made way back to forks. Our heads bobbed to good music and the air was light.
"Hey Eddie"?
"Uhh, don't call me Eddie. And what is it"?
"You know that day...umm your fist day at work. Well I remember you talking to...James when I was pulling out. What, umm...what did he tell you"?
"Can we not talk about that douche." his face twists into a scowl.
"I just wanted to know." I mumble annoyed. Were quiet and uncomfortable until we get to Joeys parking lot. He takes a deep breath closes his eyes and lays his head back on his seat.
"Please...don't be mad." his worlds confuse me and I turn my body towards him to get a better look of his Features.
His face has ashamed written all over it. His Adams apple Bobs before he begins to speak.
"Before I start. I want to say I am so sorry. You don't understand how fucking sorry I Am." he rubs his hands through his hair in desperation. His eyes are seeking out forgiveness from mine, but I don't even know if there is anything to actually forgive.
Or if it's something worthy of forgiving...
"That day after you left in your car...James asked me for Lauren's number...he said they were meeting at the back parking lot that night. I asked why he wanted her number when he had a 'babe' like you. "He rests his head on the steering wheel and holds on to it with a grip that makes his knuckles go white.
I hold my breath.
"He told me there was nothing wrong with fucking on the side if your not in love."He said so quietly I could barley hear him, but I did. My heart stopped and it jumped up and got caught in my throat. I felt suffocated and suddenly the car was shrinking. I look at him and tears slide down my face.
He knew.
"Oh...Oh God you knew." I shake my head as my vision blurs completely.
"You took me there on purpose"! I yelled at him. He turns to me and reaches out for my hand. I slap it away as hard as I can and glare at him.
"Don't you fucking touch me. I was so fucking stupid to ever let myself get close to you. Geez you must of had a good laugh. And then yesterday! Was that just some joke to you...because it wasn't. Not for me at least." humiliation made tears go on over board.
"Bella please...I never intended for you react the way you did! Or for me to care so much." he wipes a tear off my cheek and before I know it I feel my hand connect with his cheek.
"Fuck you." I get out and slam the door shut. I get over to my truck get in and throw my hands over my face and scream cry and sob all at once.
I switch on the ignition and turn to look over at the shiny Volvo that's now leaving the parking lot.
He didn't think I would react the way I did!
I shake my head.
This shouldn't even really surprise me... It's not like we were real friends. And suddenly my words from before came back to laugh in my face...
two Acquaintances who care very little for each other…
Never friends.
Nothing more.
So it shouldn't hurt or surprise me that he did that, just to see me hurt.
But if I'm being honest the hurt I'm feeling right now...
Its heart wrenching.
And he never even gave me my Jelly Beans.
That Bastard.
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