Unpleasant Pleasures

Harry Potter's wild fantasy of reality

I scanned the room, anxiously waiting for Ron's return. Meanwhile, Professor Snape was fumbling through the latest issue of "Harry potter shags himself" that he had nicked off the blackest of black European porn markets. I then suddenly came to the conclusion that Ron was not fine and good, so I asked Professor Snape if I could momentarily use the loo as well.

Meanwhile, This question triggered wild and vibrant images in Snape's perverted castles located deep in his urinary tractor. He had the dreamy image of Harry Potter doing a spanish cabaret dance in the bathroom stall. Oh, how he wished he was a toilet- pale and white.

"Um, exuse me sir?" I broke Snape's apparent trail of thought.

"Ah yes, harry m'dear" Snape began. I frowned as a look of confusion sparked on my freshly plucked eyebrow. Did Snape just call me a dear? Just then, Snape regained consciousness of his thundering body.

" Oh, sorry you TWAT you can go SHIT if you DESIR" said Snape, with a false french accent. Later he would worry about this in his cot, hoping that he wasn't too harsh with his favored pupil.

"Thank you sir" I respectively noted, as I removed myself from the potion room.

I glided down the staircase in search of my red feathered friend- RON. But a different sight altogether caught my painful past filled eye. It was Draco. Draco Malfoy. He was perched against the stained glass windows, naked. The light abstracted against his pale skin. But he was not alone. Ron Weasley sat beside him, stroking Malfoy's left breast lovingly with precision. A cobweb of fear strung itself in my mind. What were they doing? It was a treacherous sight, but I could not turn away. They looked like angels in love, a love I had never witnessed until then. It was all too horrible and pure. I let my emotions get a hold of me…

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING?" but the moment I blinked, They were gone- as if they were a part of the light that fell through the glass and passed with the turning of time. I then regained myself and came to a conclusion that it was merely a mirage. I combed my hair and decided to continue my epic search of passionately filled Ron. I figured that he would be at the gardens since we spent many wild and exotic times together, frolicking about like young men should.

I passed down three more flights of stairs, then through the back door of Hogwarts until I came across the entrance to the garden. The royal gardenkeeper- Snivellius Moosius the mouth-quenching moose stopped me in my tracks. There were many rumors circulating about this moose, but I shall not speak of them (he made a first year preggo).

"Whet ees dee passwerd??" questioned the moose.

"Uhhh…I don't know?" I said, as I tied fishing wire around the moose's chicken legs. He squealed a mrs. piggy in pain, while I scrambled past him and through the gate while humming " Wow I can get sexual too" by Say Anything- the rockingest muggle band to ever grace my well formed ears.

I found myself searching through the garden maze, one way or another. "I'm gonna get you Ron! One way or another I'm gonna to find you! Roooonnnnnnnnny!" and then all was black.

To be continued…