A/N: I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas. As an extra present for my faithful readership, I will post a new chapter here and on Ashwinder every Sunday and Wednesday (if you hadn't noticed the pattern already, lolz). Yayzies!
In this chapter-MINI-GOLF. Enough said. -Raye
Chapter Four—July First
"Hermione, wake up! Get ready to go!"
Snape rolled over and slammed a pillow over his head. Too fucking loud.
Hermione would have done the same thing in her room down the hall if her mother had not barged through the door, setting down a laundry basket full of clothes.
"Wake up, dearie; we have to leave for the family reunion in an hour."
Hermione sat bolt-upright in her bed, hair a wild mess atop her head. "Family reunion?" she squeaked.
"Yes, the one we have every year," her mother explained teasingly.
"Mum, what will we do about Professor Snape? He won't want to go!"
"Oh dear. I hadn't thought about that…" she twiddled the diamond wedding rings on the end of her necklace. "We'll have to bring him along, won't we?"
"Don't you think dad's relatives might wonder why we've brought my teacher with us to a family reunion?" Hermione asked.
Mrs. Granger chewed her lip, much the same way her daughter did when she was thinking. The two looked alike, except that the older woman had blue eyes instead of brown, and short straight hair. "Can't you just use magic or something?"
"Mum!" Hermione practically wailed. "We're not supposed to use magic, remember?"
"He's a potions professor, right?" she asked. "Can't he whip something up to change his appearance?"
"Not in an hour!" Hermione exclaimed, grabbing some clothes from the dresser and stomping in to the bathroom.
Mother! Her mind growled, do you not understand the situation? One day you're just going to piss him off so much that he leaves us here to be sitting ducks! What if that day is today?
She gasped as she pulled on a pink mini-dress over black shorts. What if he deducts points from my DADA grade? Hermione grumbled in frustration as she pulled a brush through her messy brown hair.
At that moment Severus Snape rolled out of bed. Too fucking early, he thought, yawning at his reflection in the mirror. Merlin, he looked a mess. The Dark Lord had only cast one, rather light, Cruciatus Curse on him last night. Miss Granger had left a vial of Merlin's Muscle Relaxer on his bedside table so he had been able to salvage a few hours of sleep.
I would have been able to salvage a lot more had the Granger women had kept quiet!
Severus pulled on a black turtleneck sweater and slacks. He had just combed his shaggy raven hair when someone knocked on his door.
Snape scowled at the young woman in the hall. "What?" he asked tersely.
Granger's eyes widened in fear. She was afraid to have this conversation; in fact, she was quite certain that she would rather teach Grawp how to read than speak to Severus Snape right now. "S-sir, I'm afraid we have a problem."
"And that is?" No caffeine, no patience.
"There—there's a family party today sir."
"So?"
"So I have to go."
"No," he said.
"No?" she asked, cheeks turning pink in frustration.
"Anywhere you go, I go. Since I am not going to the party, you are not going to the party."
Mr. Granger's voice precluded Hermione's angry retort. "Hermione! I know for a fact that Ron and Harry are not coming over today so don't try to weasel out of this party! You haven't seen your grandma for almost a year! We're leaving in ten minutes!"
Hermione's deep brown eyes widened in a silent plea. She folded her hands in front of her chin.
Severus stared at her in shock. Miss Granger was going to beg him to go to the party? He would not force her to the same level as a groveling Death Eater minion. He sniffed in disdain and crossed his arms.
"And what are we to tell your relatives? That I'm long-lost Uncle Severus?" he asked, sardonically.
"I've had all of forty minutes to think about it, and I came up with this," she said, brandishing a pair of thick-rimmed black glasses. Severus vaguely remembered American Superman comics and Clark Kent hiding his identity behind similar looking spectacles.
"You came up with glasses," he drawled.
"You tap the side with your wand with the intent to change your age. Twice for older, once for younger," she explained, ignoring the condescension in her professor's voice. "The Glamour Charm only effects the age you look. You retain all memories and things like that."
"Standard Book of Spells, Grade Seven, Miss Granger?" he sighed.
She nodded, offering the glasses to him.
Snape grimaced and put on the glasses. He tapped the side of the frame once. He felt the brush of his hair on his neck as it returned into his skull. Suddenly Miss Granger appeared taller and quite stricken.
"What?" he snapped.
"I think you made yourself a little too young, sir," she said, motioning to the mirror.
The snarky potions professors glared, then ran to the mirror and pressed his hands against the glass. He was staring at his twelve-year-old self.
"Fix it this instant!" he yelled, his voice pitifully squeaky as compared to the usual deep bellow he was used to.
She calmly tapped his glasses twice and he felt his muscles shift within his skin again. Finally the world looked as it should from his accustomed height of one-hundred-eighty-three centimeters.
A seventeen-year-old Severus Snape glared from the mirror.
"Now no one will be the wiser. They'll just think I've brought a friend," Hermione explained. "Unless, you think it'd be easier if you were a twelve-year-old and I was your babysit—"
"Stop talking this instant," he snarled. His glare remained as powerful as ever, even without the dark circles under his eyes or frown lines near his mouth.
Hermione thought he was actually quite cute, even if his nose was a little too long compared to the rest of his face. And he made an adorable twelve-year-old.
"Hermione! Are you bringing Professor Snape with us?" her father shouted.
Snape grumbled and turned on his heel, stalking out of the bedroom. Hermione sighed and followed.
"Well," her father started as Mrs. Granger stared. "You look…different."
Snape crossed his arms and glared through his new glasses.
"Not bad different, of course," Mrs. Granger replied quickly. "You're certainly more explainable now that you look younger."
"Let's go, let's go," Hermione said, shepherding them all out the door before they could offend her strictest teacher any more than they already had.
The car was thick with silence. Hermione nervously peeked out one window, while her professor glared out the other. Mrs. Granger kept fiddling with the radio while Mr. Granger repeatedly cleared his throat.
Mr. Granger stepped out of the car. "Right. Well, here we are."
Snape glowered at the gaudy building in front of them, arms crossed. Hermione knew what he was thinking: What kind of Hell is this?
Bauer's Party Place and Indoor Mini-Golf Emporium was packed with people, mostly those of the Granger clan.
Teenage Snape huffed with disdain and scowled at everything and everyone who dared to look at him.
"I do not get paid enough for this," he mumbled quietly to himself. In fact, I'm not getting paid for this at all.
"I'm sorry sir," Hermione said as they cut through a group of rambunctious ten year-olds.
He huffed again in response.
"Let's get to the golf!" one Granger shouted.
Snape raised an eyebrow at Hermione.
"Mini-golf," she explained. "They play every year." The eyebrow still didn't go down. "You hit the ball into the hole."
He grumbled some more and snatched the proffered club from Hermione's hand.
"Try to enjoy yourself, eh?" her father asked, coming up behind them. He still didn't come within two feet of the professor despite his newly acquired young age. "Oh God, here comes your grandma. I gotta go." With that, he retreated into the crowd, leaving his only daughter quite defenseless against old Grandma Granger.
"Hermione! How have you been?" she gushed, grabbing a hold of the girl.
"I've been just fine, Grandmother. How have you been?" she responded from the wrinkly vice-grip embrace of her seventy-six year old grandmother.
"Fine, fine…and who is this?" she asked, leveling her shrewd gaze onto Snape.
"This is—" Hermione stopped, a deer in the headlights. This is my middle-aged magic professor assigned to protect me and spelled to look like a boy my age?
"Severus, madam," he said, extending a hand. He didn't look pleased but his usual glare was gone.
"You're not the only one to bring their boyfriend to the party, Hermione, and I questioned all of them as well," Grandma said, nudging a mortified Hermione in the ribs. Snape darted an acidic glare at Hermione before he looked back to the old woman. "What does your father do for a living?" she barked.
Snape stiffened. Hermione saw his hands clench behind his back. He glared at Hermione again before answering. "My father works in a factory."
"And your mother?"
"She is a homemaker."
"Good good—and where did you meet our darling Hermione?" she asked, putting an arm around Hermione's shoulders. The girl looked close to tears, and her grandmother had no idea.
Not only was Hermione embarrassed, but she would likely be killed by her professor some time later, her dead body hidden where no one would ever be able to find it.
The boy smirked. "At school."
He's not a spy for nothing, she thought. "Oh Grandma, stop scaring him," Hermione said as lightly as possible. She looped her arm through Snape's and began to drag him away. "It's our turn to go," she said, "Talk to you later, Grandma."
Snape glared daggers, stiff at Miss Granger's side. Hermione willed her feet to keep walking and the tears to stay behind her eyes. "I am so sorry," she said. "I will make it up to you—I'm sorry—"
"Miss Granger, stop apologizing at once," he snapped. "I'm sure I have faced much worse interrogations than that one."
"Yes, okay, I suppose."
He sighed. Severus knew she must be sincere in her apologies. "Miss Granger, if you wish to 'make it up to me', you will—discreetly—teach me how to 'mini-golf'."
"Yes, of course, sir!" she said.
Hermione tried to teach him to mini-golf as best she could—she was no expert in the sport. Her advice consisted of "Don't swing so hard!" or "Watch out for the windmill!"
"This is ridiculous," Snape ground out through his clenched teeth.
"I know," she sighed, her shoulders slumping forward.
"At least your parents care enough for you to bring you here," he said, his face still sullen but his tone calm. Hermione stared up at him. She knew Professor Snape was not one to waste words.
"Sir?"
His black eyes locked with her brown ones. "Your parents may be oblivious fools, but they love you." The chaos of the Party Place was lost as Hermione stared into those deep, black eyes and realized that this was the most sincere her professor had ever been with her. "So, suck it up!" he concluded, facing the front again.
"Yes sir," she said breathlessly. The two made an odd couple, standing in line at the sixteenth hole. He stood stiff as a board, his arms crossed and dressed from head to toe in black. Hermione hovered awkwardly next to him, processing what had just happened. From what Harry had briefly described to her, Professor Snape had not had a happy childhood.
Glancing at the scorecard in her hand, Hermione did some quick addition. A huff of laughter escaped her throat though she desperately tried to keep it in. She didn't need to piss him off anymore.
"What?" he snapped.
"Our scores. We're tied." The line moved forward. "We have four holes left. Let's see who wins."
Snape glanced at her sideways. "I will be winning, of course."
Hermione laughed once, surprised that he had made a joke even though he still looked murderous. "We'll see, sir, we'll see."
Hermione and Professor Snape were neck and neck. Unsurprisingly he gloated when he beat her by only two points. Hermione silently fumed.
"I want a rematch!" she declared.
Snape raised an eyebrow at her. "Incapable of admitting defeat, Miss Granger? Ever heard of losing gracefully?"
"You've played this before haven't you?" she accused. "Were you letting me win that whole time so you could beat me down at the end?"
"As fun as that sounds, that is not the case. I have never even heard of this game before today. Perhaps I am naturally talented?" he shrugged, his old smirk on his young face.
"We're playing again!" Hermione demanded, walking back to the first hole. She had assumed he had never had the chance to play or even have fun in his life if his noxious personality was any indication. She wasn't so daft as to think it would make up for his lost childhood, but it might make the tiniest dent in the deficit. Hopefully he had taken the bait and had not suspected her ruse. Hermione glanced back over her shoulder and saw him following, observing his surroundings with a bored look on his pale face.
"I'm going to win this time, you know." She squared up to the first hole.
"We'll see, Miss Granger. We'll see."
Twenty minutes later found Hermione Granger, Hogwarts know-it-all, triumphant. The professor seethed.
"Again!" he growled.
"Oh come on, Professor, you don't want to leave it as a tie?" she teased as they made their way back to the beginning.
Snape growled over his shoulder. "Fine. One last hole."
"And the winner will be declared the Queen of Mini-Golf," Hermione said.
"We shall see who becomes mini-golf royalty, Miss Granger," he purred, lining up his shot.
Hermione smiled at his back. Maybe this summer won't be so terrible, she thought. Maybe I should let him win just to make sure. He seems to be in a better mood when he's winning.
She didn't have to try to let him win. Someone smashed into a piñata and Hermione jumped out of her skin, swinging too hard. The ball bounced away as Snape laughed. And laughed. Hermione looked at him, bewildered. He finally realized what he was doing and straightened up, his face stern.
"You ought to go fetch that."
Hermione scuttled off through the crowd in search of her ball. She thought she might start hyperventilating at any moment. I broke Severus Snape! Something's shook loose in his head because of all this family fun!
The girl faced Devil's Snare in her first year at Hogwarts, a basilisk in her second year, a werewolf in her third, and had had a handful of run-ins with Death Eaters ever since, but she had never been as shaken as she was right now. She didn't even know her Potions professor could laugh!
Hermione picked up the ball and stared at it, hoping it would yield some answers. What if he has to kill me now? I saw him laugh! He won't let me live! Hermione took a deep breath and turned back around in search of her Professor. He was waiting by the window, carefully peering around the edge.
"Ready to go?" Mrs. Granger asked, herding them outside. Snape looked all around, tense, ready to pull out his wand at any moment. Hermione also looked around, nerves jangling. She didn't relax until the car was on the road zipping home.
Hermione rested her head in her hand, staring at the hills rolling past. Today wasn't as terrib—
She gasped. Her hand reached blindly behind her until she found Snape's arm and latched on.
He whipped around with a glare. "Miss Granger, what—?" he stopped short as he looked out Granger's window. Five dark figures on broomsticks whizzed through the air, a giant mass of rock forming and picking up speed as it carved a collision course with the Granger's SUV.
In a blink of an eye, Snape had out his wand and spelled a bubble around each elder Granger. Dr. and Dr. Granger immediately started yelling. Seventeen year-old Snape wrapped his arms around Hermione and Disapparated just as a giant boulder crashed into the side of their SUV.
A metallic crunch swept through the air as the car rammed into a tree. The doctors were safe, though shaken, after being bounced around inside their giant bubbles. They stumbled away from the car, dazed. A wizard with long brown hair threw a flash of orange light towards the crumpled car. The doctors were thrown back as their car exploded into flames.
"Mum! Dad!" Hermione yelled. She cursed the fire-happy wizard off his broom. He fell to the ground, clutching his face in pain.
Professor Snape backed up, bumping against Granger, hexing, cursing and shielding against three attackers. "These aren't Death Eaters!" he told her over his shoulder.
"Who are they?" she screamed. "Protego!"
"Questions later!"
Spells flew through the air, sparkling and fizzing out of existence as they landed in the grass. The dentists were no longer conscious.
"Sectumsempra!" A tall wizard in a cheap looking replica of a Death Eater's mask fell with a shriek, blood bursting through his robes.
Hermione faced a mountain of a man, bald and muscular. He cast only offensive spells, forcing Hermione to constantly recast her shield. Thinking quickly, she maneuvered around the man until he was forced to back up towards the fire. He finally noticed the flames licking at his back and turned to put them out.
"Petrificus Totalus!" she cried. The man fell with a thump. He began to sweat, only inches away from the flames. Hermione didn't bother to move him.
The brown haired wizard Hermione first hexed regained his bearings and began to crawl across the grass towards Hermione. Sweeping her wand in a wide arc, Hermione summoned stones from the ground and hurled them with the Waddiwasi spell. They repeatedly fell upon the man. The wizard screamed and covered his head.
Snape glanced over his shoulder. His heart stopped as the burly bald man grabbed Hermione from behind.
"I've got her!" he shouted. He put his mouth on Hermione's ear and growled "Next time you're in a fight, Stun, little girl. Playtime is over."
A crunched nose and an elbow to the nether regions later found Hermione free. She spun around and Stupefied her attacker at close range—as per his advice. He wouldn't be awake for a while.
"Snape!" Hermione screamed, looking skyward. Snape followed her eyes. Above him formed a second giant boulder. Severus lifted his wand but he knew it would be too late.
The boulder shattered. He covered his face as shards of rock fell around him like rain. Hermione had reacted quickly enough, blowing apart the rock with ease.
"We'll get you, Mudblood!" one shouted as he swooped past her and grabbed his Stupefied comrade. The five assailants fled the scene on their brooms, leaving a scratched Snape, a bruised Hermione, and two sleeping Muggles in their wake.
"Are you hurt?" both Snape and Hermione shouted at the same time. Snape looked down through his glasses. His long black sleeves had been ripped in several places along his forearms. He shook his head.
Hermione didn't answer, but whirled around and rushed to her parents' sides. Two quick diagnostic spells and two Ennervates later, the dentists were just fine; aside from the fact that they had lost their car in a fiery explosion.
Hermione doused the flames while Snape sent a Patronus to Minerva.
The girl came up beside him, grim determination set on her young face. "What should we do?"
Snape quirked an eyebrow at her over his glasses. "You have an idea, I'm sure."
Hermione examined the grass at her feet. "You and I should Apparate home after implanting a different memory into my parents' heads. Then they will tell the police, file a report, call me, and we can pick them up in the silver car. What do you think?"
Snape was impressed. Potter had been lucky to find this girl and befriend her in their first year. She was smarter than a whip. Unfortunately she lacked confidence in her plotting. She obviously needed her professor to tell her it was alright to Obliviate her parents for their own safety.
"Must they file a report?" he asked reproachfully.
"Someone will notice their SUV here eventually. They can't just leave it here—they need to file for the insurance," she insisted.
Snape raised his slender hand in defeat. "I trust that you know more about this 'insurance' than I do."
That was the first nice thing Professor Snape had ever said to her. Hermione clutched her wand in determination, the usual fire back in her eyes. "Who will Obliviate them? Should we hide the memory so they can access it later? Probably not…" she muttered the last part to herself.
"You Obliviate them, and I will Apparate us back to your home."
"Yes sir," she said with a nod.
Minerva's ghostly silver cat Patronus whisked through the air, then curled around his legs. In Minerva's voice it proclaimed, "Order meeting tomorrow," and disappeared.
Snape glanced back at Hermione as she Oblivated her parents. She appeared to be fine but he would cast a Diagnostic Spell later just in case. He couldn't deliver her to the Order broken.