Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto

Number 1- Smartass Villain

Warning- OOC to the extreme for Shikamaru, somewhat OOC for Temari, swearing, and creative yet violent threats

"I just need a break! I need a time where I no longer need to talk to you people, and where I can do what I want. What I need. I need to be able to… I need to walk away. A breath of fresh air is what I need."

Everyone was silent. I had just made a statement. No one had a comment for it. There was no recognition of words or emotion on anyone's faces. Was what I had said really that wrong?

No sound was heard. I was miles and miles away from the room packed with people. I was lonely in a crowd. It was terrifying. I was so lonely. A child lost in a department store, desperate for their parents. There was no one, nowhere near me, that seemed to do anything except be a blank statue.

"What do you want to be, the hero or the villain?" A tall, black haired boy slowly rose from his seat. Steely black eyes met mine. He wanted me to answer. The most honest and truthful answer I could give was what he was asking of me. I didn't dare to defy those eyes. Peaceful yet daring, it was an awkward and endearing mixture.

"I-I want to be a hero… I guess." I croaked. My voice was tiny. I was trembling. Everything and everyone was becoming too much to handle. More empty silence greeted my words, and I waited impatiently for the boy to speak.

"Hero's don't get a break," The boy barked. He was firm, and unwavering; the head statue of this garden of statues. "Hero's don't get to guess. Hero's don't get to make choices that are selfish and do only what they want. Hero's don't get to do what they want at all. Hero's only got one chance and Hero's never walk away, Temari." He was raising his voice.

I lowered my head and let my hair hide my face. I felt a pounding noise ringing steadily in my ears. The beginning of a storm was brewing.

Once more, the boy spoke up. This time, his voice was quiet. He knew he got his point across; it was time for him to drive it home. "Hero's don't bow their heads."

I immediately snapped up and met the boy's eyes. They were a hard black. A seemingly never ending pit. Mustering my strength, I matched that look. I threw emotions to the wind and said Screw feelings. I don't need 'em. Being lonely and terrified is just a waste of my time.

"What about you? Which do you want to be? Hero's don't reprimand others." Now my voice was rough, like sandpaper on a cat's tongue. Devoid of emotions, just like I had hoped.

A smirk ran across the boy's face, "Being a hero is no fun."

"You want to be the villain?" I kept my voice bland, but even if I wanted to hide my disdain, I probably couldn't.

The smirk just continued to grow wider, "Villains have all the fun. They don't need to act a certain way. They have no expectations except to be the best that they can be. The real question is, why wouldn't everyone want to be the villain?"

"Maybe it's because Villains always lose. Haven't you ever read a fairy tale?" I snorted.

"Then I guess I'll be the first villain to succeed. I am looking forward to my success," The boy finally sat back down. He was casual and relaxed, as if we didn't just have that heated conversation. It was incredibly vexing to watch.

Clenching my fists, I surveyed the room. I dared someone else to stand up and speak to me, just like that boy had done. No one accepted. They all stood, now frozen in what I hoped to be shock.

Turning to the boy, I demanded, "What is your name?"

"Not until you tell me yours, Mrs. Heroine." There it was again. That stupid smirk.

"Smartass! You already know my name. You called me it once already. Just tell me your name and get it over with. I'm ready to start pulling out the weapons."

"I want a proper introduction," If I didn't know any better, I would say that the boy said it like he was pouting.

"Temari Subakku. You already know it, so don't forget it. Now, smartass, what. Is. Your. God. Damned. Name. Before. I. Go. Ballistic. And. Cut. Off. Your. Balls."

"Now, Temari, that's going a little too-"

"With a cheese grater."

"Feisty…. How troublesome," The boy leaned forwards and propped his head onto his hands. "I guess the sooner you storm out angrily, the sooner I can go back to relaxing."

"I swear, smartass, I will not storm out angri-"

"Shikamaru Nara. Don't go looking for me anywhere. I'm not big on troublesome girls and I have heard I'm not good company for people that call me a smartass. Be gone, please." Shikamaru flicked his hand towards the door.

"I'll take my leave then," I said between gritted teeth as I walked out. Just to be clear, I hadn't stormed out of the room. It was a simple angry walk. I continued it down the long hallways, stewing over how annoying Shikamaru was. Looking back at the conversation, I laughed at myself. It wasn't like me to get so weak in front of a group of people.

That's what you get for trying to go and be less closed off, I reprimanded myself.

"I hope you aren't going to look for a cheese grater." A voice behind me echoed through the hallway. It was familiar and infuriating. It was the voice of someone I had only seen seconds beforehand. It was the voice of a smartass villain.

"What if I am?"

"I'll just have to kiss you then." Shikamaru sauntered closer to me. I just stood. Frozen. Now a statue myself, Shikamaru's words froze me to the core. He seemed completely serious. I summoned my inner fire and forced myself to overcome it, but I couldn't over come the shock of his words. My mind wouldn't think of a way to react to him.

I decided to play it cool, "Then I guess I am not looking for the cheese grater."

"Then you won't mind if I do this."

Shikamaru's lips pecked my check, and then he was off. Walking briskly towards the classroom, I could only watch him go. To say he caught me by surprise was putting it lightly. What infuriated me even further was the fluttering of butterflies in my stomach, and heat rushing to my cheeks.

"Damn Shikamaru. He really is a smartass villain. And a coward," I turned toward Shikamaru's retreating form and yelled, "Don't think this is over! Now I really am going to find a cheese grater! Real men, especially villains, don't kiss girls and run away! Especially after they just had a heated argument with them!"
I could have sworn I heard the whispered echo of the words 'troublesome heroine' echoing down the hallway.

Number 2- The secretly secret admirer and Secret… yea, you're just stupid but I guess I am too for liking you. (A.K.A Secret admirers from afar)

Warning- Naruto characters that are blind to love.

Temari and Tenten

"It's the weirdest thing. He's lazy and weak, with absolutely no motivation or life goal. Always hailed as a genius, but it's useless when he won't even act on it. Definitely clues when it comes to society as well, that's for sure."

"So, he's like normal boys?"

"No. He's weird and a lazy ass."

"But, Temari-"

"Tenten-"

"Listen. Temari, I know you are in love with 'lazy ass.' Don't hide it. It goes without saying that he loves you back. But the problem is that Shikamaru won't act first, and you know it. You want him to, and when he doesn't, you take it out on him by badmouthing him. Sometimes even to his face."

"Don't judge. You have your problems with Neji."

"I-I do not…"

"You're blushing. Where is your ninja pride, girl?"

"It's just hot outside. Don't change the subject, either. You know you want Shikamaru to ask you out! We have to face the facts though. Through all of his intelligence lies a coward of epic proportions who can't ask a girl out."

"I know. What are you? My mother-in-law? I don't need someone belittling me for what my crush is too cowardly to do."

"You admitted to it! The truth is in the open!"

"Well…..You love Neji!"

"Sh! Temari, I'm going to stab you! Neji and Lee are eating at that bar-b-que shop over there. They could be seated outside for all we know!"
"It's fine, I can't see them. Why aren't you with them?"

"Because I am with you."

"You're blushing again. It is either hotter than I think out here, or you are too embarrassed to face Neji. Tenten is cowardly, like Shikamaru!"

"I don't see you running to go see Shikamaru."

"Arg. Tenten, it's complicated."

"Let's uncomplicated it."

"I've been trying to do that since I meet him."

"Time to make progress then! If you go ask out Shikamaru, I will have a conversation with Neji."

"No."

"Why not? You get the better end of the deal."

"The harder end! I can't do it. It's even more unfair because Neji is on your team, and you have to talk to him every day. It wouldn't be ask weird as me talking to Shikamaru, let alone asking him out."

"Then….. how about we write them notes?"

"Like secret admirers?"

"Yea!"
"I don't know…."

"Let's go!"
"Ten... Tenten! Let go of my hand. Stop pulling me along like a dog on a leash."

"No. We're writing the letters and that's the end of it."

"What are you? God damned Cupid?"

Dear Neji,

I have known you for a while. A long while, actually. I do not really know what you think of me. You are always a blank slate when I see you. I don't know how much you notice me, but I noticed you quite well. (Actually, I did not have a choice in noticing you. For some weird reason, you seem to be near me a lot.) The strangest part is, despite all of the things I know about you, I'm pretty such you have no idea about anything involving me. What I like, eat, do, or feel. It is alright, I do not really know what you feel either, but I know the rest of it.

Excuse me for that last sentence. I hate to cross things out and I am writing in pen so I'll just have to apologize for sounding like a stalker. I will get to my point as quickly a possible and not waste too much of your precious training time. (I must put in that you spend a lot of time training. Sometimes I think it is to the point of obsession, but that is not my point.)

This is really hard to write. Really, extremely difficult to a point where my hand is shaking. I am not sure how much sense this latter makes, but I am just writing what goes through my head without filtering it.

I like you. I have for a while now. You do not have time for frivolous affairs, like girls with school girl crushes on you, so it is totally okay if you disregard this letter. I just had to let you know.

-Secretly Secret Admirer

Dear Shikamaru,

You are cowardly, lazy, a smartass, a moron, a weirdo, and you need to desperately be taught a lesson.

I really like you. Do not take it personally. I still think you are a coward, lazy beyond belief, smartass to the tenth power, moronic, a weirdo, and any day I could kick your face in. Something about you is not half bad though.

When you stop being annoying, that is.

I think you should be grateful to have someone liking you. Someone like me.

-Secret…yea, you're just stupid but I guess I am too for liking you.

Neji and Shikamaru

Shikamaru and Neji stand by themselves in the center of the bustling street. Both stare plainly at the notes. Time ticks by and Neji slowly begins to refold his note. His movements are careful, thoughtful, as he contemplates who could have sent the note.

"Nara… what…who do you think sent these notes?"

Shikamaru shrugged, "I have an idea of who wrote mine."

"Explain."

"Tenten and Temari."

"You think they both wrote yours?"

"No, they are coming this way."

"Oh. Why are they turning around?"

"Their feminine instincts are alerting them of our prescience and telling them to turn around immediately because if a fight were to break out between the two of us, the girls do not have their normal numerical advantage?"

"How come I do not think that is the reason why?"

The two male Shinobi watch the retreating forms of Tenten and Temari fade into the crowded streets. Within seconds, all trace of them had disappeared.

"Nara, you never answered my question."

"Oh, well, I don't really know anymore."

Neji sighed and reached his arm into his pocket, placing the note safely inside of it, before walking away. Leaving Shikamaru to his own devices.

Shikamaru smiled to himself.

"Nice going, Temari. I'm not that stupid."